As I was saying before we were rudely interrupted yesterday, there was always an unwelcome disruption to peaceful times in my life. This time, it was in the form of the only critic who had enough swagger to actually try and convince Nadine to get rid of me. He was a young merchant named Tibault. Describing him as a woeful businessman would be too generous. A career as a jester would’ve suited him better than a merchant. Among other things, he was scheming and petty, and was hoping to impress Nadine enough in order to marry her, thus ending his own financial woes, which he had mostly brought upon himself. Black market traders were always after him for money than he had borrowed, and there was rarely a moment where he made his presence noticeable out of fear of someone whom he owes money being in the same room. With me in the picture, however, this complicated his plan. Nadine and I had grown very close, and between her busy schedule and me, there wasn’t exactly a lot of her time left to pay attention to bachelors who sought her hand in marriage. Nadine had spent some time pondering on this subject herself, concerned that was that she would always be too busy to find a husband and wouldn’t have a child to succeed her booming business when she eventually left this world. However, it seemed as though I was going to fill in that gap that had been empty for so long. Tibault somehow found ways to talk to Nadine privately. She seemed to take some sort of pity on him, and tried to advise him with better methods of bargaining and trading. However, since his only intent was to marry his way out of his predicament, her words fell like a waterfall over stone. They only made a short splash but none of her wisdom was absorbed. He had heard the story of how I had ended up in her household, and attempted to prod her towards returning me home. Some attempts were glaringly obvious, while others were much more subtle. I was listening in one day when he came to visit. Up until this point, I had thought the only reason Nadine didn’t take me home was because she was busy.
‘The boy’s been here a while, Nadine. Don’t you think you should at least try to take him home?’
‘There were Harkonian raiders crawling all over the woodlands where he came from. His parents would’ve been captured regardless of where they were in that area. When he’s older, I will tell him the truth.’
‘Don’t you think that it’s unfair to him to provide him false hope? You need to at least take him back to make sure that they’re gone!’
‘But… If they’re alive, then I’ll lose him… Why are you so interested in my personal life, anyway? I’ve tried to help you out of common courtesy, not because I am attracted to you or anything…’
‘He’s just some brat who you picked up along a road in a backwater province! Surely he can’t be that important to you! Why not marry a fine fellow, maybe like myself, and have your own child?’ After that, I heard a loud thud followed by a cry of pain.
‘You’re no longer welcome in my household. Leave before I call for my servants to remove you.’ Hearing footsteps, I quickly hid in another room, peering out as Tibault stomped his way out of Nadine’s office. A large bruise was forming above his eye. Nadine herself walked out too, holding a gigantic metal candle holder. Nadine quickly dropped the candle holder when she saw me. I wasn’t crying, it felt as though my entire face had turned into stone, fixed in a ghastly looking blank expression. I could only look on at Nadine, and she was obviously disturbed at my cold expression.
‘You heard everything, didn’t you?’ Seeing as though it was obvious that I had heard that entire conversation, I simply looked on. Nadine knew the truth.
‘I am so sorry, Jacques, but I am sure your parents are dead, or worse, sold as slaves. Those Harkonian warriors were all over the countryside. If your parents had been fleeing, then one group or another would’ve caught them.’ Something in me broke then, I didn’t know what it was at the time, but looking back, I know now. It was hope. Even the raids hadn’t broken me yet, for there was yet hope of returning home. Nadine had just crushed that hope. I left without saying anything, leaving a woeful looking Nadine standing in front of her office door. Using one of my usual escape routes in the house, I wandered onto the streets of Stromfor, hoping to find something that would distract me from my worries.
The sun had long set and I was still wandering the streets. The shadows enabled me to blend into the street easily, and most Arcanian people are too busy to pay any heed to a child wandering about, even in the latest hours of the evening. Stalls are still selling their wares, though they make sure to have abundant light covering said wares, so that any would-be thieves would lose any advantage the darkness would give them in their dirty work. I knew I would have to head back to Nadine eventually. I had no desire to live off the streets by stealing or scavenging scraps from the garbage piles within the city. I was upset though, even if I wasn’t capable of fully expressing it in that state. I couldn’t think about it rationally, and that perhaps I would’ve had a better lot with Nadine rather than my parents. I suppose I was mourning, since I was previously clinging onto the thoughts of my parents being alive and having a chance to meet them again. But, I understood that Nadine wouldn’t say that unless she was absolutely certain it was true. Still though, I wished to spend some time away from Nadine, just so I could be alone with my thoughts.
Nadine had panicked in the period I had left for. When I returned to her home, she had sent off all her servants looking for me, fearing I had run away. She was relieved when I had returned. She knelt down and embraced me with an almost suffocating hug.
‘I’m so sorry, Jacques. I won’t lie to you again, I promise. I’ll look after you. I’m going to be taking you to officially become a member of my family.’ Though I had spent some time with her, I had found it odd how attached she had become to me in the few months I had spent in her care. I asked one of her older servants about it later.
‘She’s just lonely. She does not have many friends or people she’s close to, just her servants, and you.’ I found her attachment to be justifiable, given the circumstances. I suppose travelling so much doesn’t leave a lot of time for you to find other people to be around. So, I decided that I would stay with her, so she might have a son of her own. This wasn’t just mere adoption that she was going to perform. Arcanian law enables you to allow someone to become part of a family, regardless of blood relation. As far as the law is concerned after this happens, I may as well be of her of own flesh and blood. However, this ceremony also severs any blood ties you have with any other families, meaning I would cease to be the son of my parents. I was convinced of that they were dead at this point, however, so it mattered little. They had explained the whole ritual to me, and given I was older now, I was capable of understanding more complex subjects. It was daunting when she took me to the ceremony, which was to be held in one of the great garden halls of the Noble’s district. Her name carried a lot of prestige around Stromfor. Even the nobles had come to see the event, and from what I had observed during my exploration of their district, they’re fairly apathetic towards most events. This put into perspective the sheer magnitude of the situation for me. I was led into a great hall, where an ancient and gnarled tree rose above a small altar. The rite was performed by the person who was adding someone to their family, in this case, Nadine. She spoke the ritual with almost melodic words. There was genuine happiness in the atmosphere, and for a time, I was genuinely happy. It took about an hour before Nadine came to the end of the ritual.
‘And so, he shall become my flesh and blood, severing previous ties. May we find fortune and prosper together, as a family.’
A great cheer rose from the small crowd that had gathered. Drinks from Arcana’s mystic vineyards and the finest cuts of meat from game hunted in the wilderness around Stromfor were served. It was a great celebration, and Nadine and I were at the centre of it. Her fellows from the Traders’ Guild were keen to hear about what plans she had for the future. Nadine herself had not thought that far ahead yet, and so she hushed anyone who attempted to discuss the subject with her.
‘That is a private matter for the time being. Jacques and
I will discuss what he wishes to do, and we will work it out from there.’
Stars were beginning to shine their light as the celebration wrapped up. Drunken nobles and servants alike were attempting to make their own ways back to their homes. Nadine and I made our way back to her great manor.
‘So, how does it feel to know that we’re now related to each other, Jacques? I’m actually your mother now!’ She seemed beside herself with joy about the whole thing, knowing that she now had a son.
‘It feels… alright.’ Taken aback by my choice of words, Nadine tried not to show it, choosing to quickly change the subject.
‘Now then, we need to talk about what you’ll do with yourself, Jacques. I would like you to adopt my business, continue building on what foundations I have here. Imagine how wealthy you’ll be in the future…’ If Nadine had one flaw, it was her greed. I could already see piles of gold sparkling in her eyes at that point.
‘I am afraid that I do not wish to become a merchant.’
‘Why, Jacques? What would you rather be?’
‘A soldier. I wish to become a soldier.’
Shocked by this, Nadine attempted to keep calm and steer me away from that path.
‘I am not going to lie to you, Jacques. Being a soldier is a terrible job. It does not pay well, and you may end up dying on a Harkonian’s dirty blade. Is that what you want?’ I had not forgotten my parents nor had forgotten that it was Harkon that had trampled my old life and taken away the two people I had held most dear. So, I was driven towards a path of vengeance.
‘What do you think I want, Nadine?’ This caused her to pause for a moment, and it came to her.
‘You want revenge, don’t you? For what they did to you and to your parents…’
‘Exactly. If I become a soldier, then I can return the pain that they had caused me.’ Extremely concerned, she knelt down to my height, and looked me dead in the eye. There was pain in those soft brown eyes.
‘You can’t live with hatred in your heart, Jacques. Yes, you have been wronged in a most horrific and terrible way, but how would returning that pain to them make you any different? You would just be another savage beast. You’re better than the men of Harkon. Please, don’t choose this path.’ No one had even pleaded with me before, but it sounded like it was far away. Vindication was the only thing on my mind, and I would stop at nothing to achieve that.