moves into motion while my

  shadow contradicts itself by falling

  through a man that has forgotten how to

  be alone gracefully in this black and white

  world with no hands to echo its laughter

  51

  her shape becomes finely tuned to my tired eyes

  reaching with great thrusting swims trying to catch

  her soft glistening gaze in this enormous steam

  that teases me by hiding her curves in a curious

  smile behind that private curtain of a dancer

  standing still with definitely grace

  anticipation

  i can't imagine any sound better suited for these

  ears than that shower bouncing ceramic rain to

  clean us as intertwined as we are twisting legs

  in search of the perfect spot to fall into one

  another where hands could preserve flesh in shadow

  with the heat from heads forgetting all other world

  to touch the top of the moon with four lips disappearing

  with a swallow that spins all the way down the drain

  casting no more shadow

  52

  i can't seem to recover from the realization

  that my thoughts of you have dwindled to the

  places inside me i can't find anymore

  how many more pieces of you will i lose if

  your presence is empty in every part of my

  senses losing the beauty only you can supply

  them even in shutting me out

  so many memories i have explored to death

  with dirty smudges splotching blurry fades

  of paints without color rubbing away any image

  of emotion which was the capacity of any relapse

  into you

  but like a drunk sifting his empty pockets for

  change maybe in one hole of myself i can conjure

  the layers of where you left me tired and flimsy

  to place a picture of you permanently across my

  mind representing my blindness to the rest of the

  world finally seeing me smile

  53

  it is going with the rush of running

  feet through the empty canvas that

  dries the lungs when a lip stops right

  on the place where your tongue meets

  your teeth

  it will flow all the way down your

  throat just sliding on the texture of

  a glass ball looking for one more

  look into your whole heart where once

  blood flowed into worlds making life

  live truly in the color of pure blue

  you lying like paint all over the

  sky my eye saw through

  and when it reaches wherever love goes

  when it has been swallowed by something

  so unclear that it tends to fade into

  nothing really ever happening it'll

  rest happily inside of you knowing its

  safety to be within the place truth was

  first found and will always be defined

  in each sweet shapely utterance of air

  that runs out burst and breathe

  54

  i had no escape when that truth

  in all her flowing misery confronted

  me with her laughing face pouring

  forth the answer to my everyday

  question about how i might get to

  hold you once more tighter

  these ears of mine brutally aware

  of the present attack upon them

  screamed murder direct to my gut

  allowing its contents to fly into

  an upheaval as force plays in my

  perched body an inevitable motion

  settling slow as her eyes open into

  the focus of a place real bad

  so it did hit me suddenly that

  this hidden hand pumping life into

  my hope came curiously close to peeking

  into this undiscovered country of

  random flyings and fallings

  but as quiet as life bleeds that

  hand only falls until someone grab

  touches that awareness bird by its

  thumbs with the truth of flying even

  on the fall

  55

  your life light shines brighter as i

  grow further from all the windows your

  home gave me to look through clearly

  not looking into anymore you

  the fog has fallen around the already

  small star that you always guide me

  with never stealing that luster that

  your smile always causes in my skin

  (a shimmer within the water we used to

  hear in our silent language of

  comfortable wonderful)

  as the places around me begin to show

  themselves to my squinting eyes trying

  to only see that light you shine there

  comes a darkness like a knock to clear

  out the sensation of chasing the perfections

  of your bright white reflections

  and the world comes on to walk in the

  lonely around me

  56

  sleep i can't find you again

  in this night where i wish

  a little reason would tell

  me why i should keep looking

  at the darkness to find you

  it is so alone in this place

  looking for rest wondering if

  i was too greedy with the dreams

  last night making me believe in

  magic

  so i hope the day is refreshed

  and different then maybe i'll

  have a reason to want sleep

  facing a closer proximity to

  wishes in a dream that shimmers

  inside these ragged whispering

  eyes

  57

  in the great turmoil of this room

  where i sit sketching letters to

  construct pictures of the art you

  are is a silence standing naked

  before me in the heat of this alone

  the words being drawn create thoughts

  maybe had by you in those lovely

  limbs that my pen pushes into

  movement waking you into the torment

  we will share when i have nothing more

  to give you

  and when you grow soon with hands

  touching beyond my words looking into

  my eyes seeing through the contrived

  shiver in the passion we never had

  you will experience birth like a

  kiss slow and anxious

  58

  something so tired as your eyes pulls my

  disheveled hair all the way around your

  fingers so red in their pulsing way of

  touching in rhythm my sleep which is

  ruined by every aware that wakes me

  a place so comfortable as your hands is

  nowhere for shame to find me when your

  protection perfectly glides me silently into

  eternity with the slightest sway of fingers

  losing my mind

  the bed we have made tonight with candy

  clothes makes every layer of child inside

  of us play red faces with each other as

  if every kiss were the first

  and the night is distantly moving, quietly,

  precisely into a box of stillness that we

  can carry always with us wrapped in the

  ribbon of our intertwined fingers resting

  anxiously waiting to open the new dream

  that has been closed always inside like fate

  were a whispering thing

  59

  there are countless twisted turns when i

  measure the
mayhem from perfection to

  obscurity

  and the wind sings storms in that

  crazy inner listen where the great ears of

  classic pitch perfect memory shatter sounds

  together like glass snow reflecting a

  remembering

  maybe you wish for her gracious memory to

  visit this hope where worlds stray like hanging

  stars swinging for a little wisdom to smile

  warmth from the sun to show these helplessly

  pathetic planets how to retrieve some grains

  of clean white sleep that once fell from the

  love we made

  and there is never any dreaming sound as

  deep as thunder to lie me down sleeping in

  the eloquent waters that once trickled on

  our soft flesh covered bones where warmth

  was like sweet hearts together talking in a

  rhythmic sadness that hummed sleepily in

  worlds where sleep was never uncovered

  from the rested broken rain

  60

  hunger covers me in the sweet cold

  blasted of your yesterday water

  feeding me in your eyes

  in the heaven that you are there

  should never be a tear that hides

  itself so tired in those brown

  restrained cries from the fingers

  of my praying hands

  the hurt crouched in the tones of

  your laughter breathes bones of

  bodies without life leaving behind

  nothing funny in the crash your

  throat makes when suddenly sounds

  crack to stop you before you break

  when your arms quiet the shining

  sound around us one more december

  flies into our kiss freezing the

  snow on your lips as you feed no

  more spring to drink the rain that

  falls inside you when those eyes

  shut down another trapped beautiful

  all over me

  61

  how can i translate such near

  perfect dimensions that hang

  elusive all around me spinning

  eternally rotating language

  failing even a simply closer

  attempt at naming the wealth

  your being(whom words can not

  know) sprays with a lovingly

  taste that crawls my flesh to

  need not eyes touching a knowledge

  when our mouths swing into

  gravity's tight winding crease

  of our touch speaking exhales

  but in this vehicle where social

  arrangement performs a blind method

  placing of together people drunk

  in small breaths of being tied

  maybe forever united stands us

  waist deep in music that hovers

  above any tradition ever standing

  tangled in our toes

  so positions have been proposed in

  sleep where kisses know no lips

  such as the corners of yours folding

  sound in eloquent unison throughout

  my throat placing a silence on the

  name for this space between your

  hand and mine chiming