A storm of feelings broke inside her, and all the words were swept away.
There were some kinds of tears a man could accept easily enough, even be amused by in an affectionate way, but when a strong woman broke enough to reveal her pain, those tears were a fearsome thing to behold. And seeing the shock and confusion on Lee’s face was enough confirmation that the woman weeping in his arms rarely broke enough to cry, even in private.
A look at Caitlin was all it took to have the girl linking arms with Lee to draw him away.
“Cry it out, darling,” Michael said as he shifted slightly to settle Glorianna more firmly against him. “Just cry it out. You’ll feel better for it.”
I have lived on that battleground my whole life.
What must it be like to grow up in such a place, where you and everyone you loved was dependent on the caprice of the world? But it wasn’t the world, was it? It was the heart that made things, changed things.
“I’ve got you, darling,” he murmured as one hand moved over her back in comforting circles. “We’ll learn from each other, Glorianna Belladonna, and we’ll find a way to do right by the world.” And you don’t have to be alone now.
He felt her body tighten, felt her pushing against his chest in order to step away, get away, escape from the knowledge that she had shown a man she barely knew emotions she had kept hidden from her family.
“I have to wash my face,” she said, sniffling. “I can’t go to a landscape looking like this.”
He let her go, watched her run to the house. Even with her brother here, she wouldn’t leave without them. He didn’t think she would leave anyone, even kin, alone on this island. Not when that walled garden held the lives of so many.
“I’ve never heard her cry like that,” Lee said, coming up beside him. “I don’t think she has cried like that.”
“She’s cried like that before,” Michael said quietly. “But I’m thinking it’s the first time she’s let anyone witness the tears.”
“Maybe.” Lee stared at Michael, and the bewilderment of dealing with Glorianna’s tears gave way to a steely resolve. “She’s not like the other Landscapers. She’s more, and she was declared rogue because of it. Even now, with the world crashing down around us, the other Landscapers who survived won’t acknowledge her.”
“And you’re saying that if Caitlin and I learn from Glorianna, we’ll be tarred with the same brush?”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
Michael looked at Caitlin, who was hovering nearby, and thought about a young girl shunned by the other children, a young girl who had found something far more wondrous than she knew when she had discovered Darling’s Garden. And he thought about himself and his desire to hear the music in one woman’s heart rather than experience the bodies of many.
“Well, then,” he said. “Since I’ve never enjoyed dealing with fools, it’s lucky for me that I met up with you first.” He hesitated, remembering what Nathan had told him just before that monster rose from the sea. “Lee, if it can be done, I’m thinking it would be better to go to Raven’s Hill first. I’d like to check on my aunt, who was injured in a fire, and see the cottage to find out if anything remains.” Like a box of books that might provide some answers.
“Does your village have a beach?”
“Aye. Nothing grand, mind you, but enough of one for those who want to wade in the sea or look for shells.”
Lee nodded and looked at Caitlin. “Then I think we have a way to get to your village.”
Chapter Nineteen
For the second time in an hour, Glorianna stepped off Lee’s island. But this time she stood on a beach that wasn’t hers in a place that wasn’t anywhere she knew.
Not a comfortable place. Not a landscape that held a companionable resonance like she felt when she visited one of her mother’s landscapes. She couldn’t have reached this village by crossing a bridge. Her heart wouldn’t have recognized this place.
Which made no sense since this was Caitlin’s home landscape, and the girl’s resonance fit in just fine with hers and Nadia’s.
Caitlin doesn’t belong here either, Glorianna thought as the currents of power lapped around her like the waves lapped the beach. She’s a dissonance and…someone else is the bedrock. Someone’s heart anchors Raven’s Hill against the influence of a Landscaper.
She felt Caitlin come up beside her, heard Michael and Lee step off the island, but didn’t turn her head to look at any of them. How did one explain the delicate and courageous act of relinquishing a landscape to someone who hadn’t known there were landscapes until a few days ago? And it would have to be done with care since the Eater of the World already had some hold on this village.
Guardians of the Light and Guides of the Heart, show me the right path for what needs to be done.
The currents of power shifted around her, flowed through her, set things—
Wait!
—in motion.
Glorianna stood frozen, scarcely daring to breathe. She had been offering up that small prayer since she was a little girl. She had never been answered like this. Not like this. She had been thinking about Caitlin, but Ephemera had answered a different meaning to that prayer because here, in this place, it could.
Opportunities and choices. She would help Caitlin find her place in the world. In doing so, she would find the Guardians and Guides who could show her how to defeat the Eater of the World.
All she needed was the courage to follow the path.
“I’m grateful for the loan of the coat,” Caitlin said.
“Should have brought gloves,” Glorianna replied, shoving her hands in her pockets. She felt off balance, so she said nothing more, just turned to watch Lee light the two lanterns he kept on the island.
Caitlin rubbed her own hands briskly. “When the wind comes from the north, it does have a wicked bite.”
“That’s the breath of the ice beast,” Michael said, smiling. “He blows on the sea to create floes of ice so he can float down to the world of men and snatch a pretty maid to take back to his lair to be his wife.”
“Or to be his dinner if the maid doesn’t prove to be an interesting companion,” Caitlin added.
Glorianna shivered. A year ago, their words would have done no harm. Now…“Don’t tell that story to strangers.”
Lee swore softly. He, at least, understood. But Michael shook his head and said, “It’s just a story.”
“A year ago, it was just a story. Now there is something out there that can pluck the image of the ice beast out of a person’s mind and make it real. Change a story into truth. That’s what the Eater of the World does. It takes your fears and makes them real—until all that’s left in the world are the things you fear.”
She watched Caitlin’s and Michael’s expressions change as the import of her words took root. Caitlin looked unnerved, but Michael…For some reason, being reminded that stories could be more than stories had been a blow to his heart.
“Shall we go?” she asked.
“Here,” Lee said, handing a lantern to Michael. “Is it usually dark?”
“We got here ahead of the dawn,” Michael replied, looking at the sky. “Sun’s not up yet.”
“Ah.”
Lee had asked one question; Michael had answered another. This village was teetering on the edge of becoming a dark landscape, slipping over at times but always being pulled back toward the Light.
“But the sun was up when we left Aurora,” Caitlin protested.
“We’re in a different part of the world now,” Glorianna said. She touched Caitlin’s sleeve to get the girl’s attention. “Currents of Light and Dark flow through this place, although the Dark currents are a little stronger. Maybe because of things that have happened here recently.”
“Like boys setting fire to a cottage?” Caitlin muttered.
“Yes.” Glorianna studied Caitlin. What had she been doing by the time she was eighteen? What had she known by that age that this girl didn’t eve
n begin to realize? “Can you feel their resonance? Can you feel the currents of Dark and Light?”
“I don’t know,” Caitlin whispered. “I’m standing next to you, and I feel…something…but I don’t know. I don’t think I’m allowed to do this.”
The girl has been stumbling through her life because there wasn’t anyone who could help her identify the sensations flowing all around her. She could have done so much harm if someone else’s heart hadn’t struggled to keep the village as balanced as it is.
“Take my hand.” She offered her hand to Caitlin. “I’ll show you the way my mother showed me.”
When you were learning to walk, Glorianna, you held my hand to keep your balance. Hold my hand again to learn another way of walking.
Caitlin gasped and tried to pull away.
“Don’t be afraid of it,” Glorianna said quietly, tightening her grip on Caitlin’s hand. “That’s the world you’re feeling. Ephemera flows through the heart, manifests the heart. Your heart. A Landscaper is the bedrock, the sieve through which all other hearts flow. Who she is becomes the resonance of a place.” Usually, she amended silently.
“But I can’t be good all the time. I can’t!”
“No, you can’t. There are shadows in every garden, Caitlin Marie. There is darkness in every heart. Even the Places of Light have slim currents of Dark flowing through them. No heart is purely one thing or another.” She felt a tremor of relief go through the girl at the same time that she thought, There is an answer in those words.
Places of Light needed some Dark, and dark landscapes still needed a thread of Light. Why did the dark landscapes need the Light? That question had teased her when she had stood before the walls of Wizard City and unleashed Heart’s Justice on the Dark Guides. It teased her now.
The Warrior of Light must drink from the Dark Cup.
And wasn’t it inconvenient that, having warned Michael against telling stories, she would have to persuade him to tell her the story about the Warrior of Light?
Be patient, a gentle, ageless voice whispered. When the time is right, he will tell you.
“Lee,” Michael said, “since you’ve got one lantern and I’ve got the other, why don’t you give Caitlin Marie a hand up the beach? The path leading up to the village is just a bit of a ways over there.”
Before Glorianna could tell him they could see well enough, Caitlin looked back at her brother. Grinning, she pulled away from Glorianna, linked an arm with Lee, and said, “Come on, then. I’ll show you the path and we’ll let the lollygaggers catch up when they can.”
“Lollywhat?” Glorianna said. Then a hand closed over hers. Bigger. Warm. A little work-roughened.
“Something I’ve wondered about Lee,” Michael said, smiling at her. “Is he your older brother?”
“Younger.”
“Younger?” He sounded surprised. “But we’re of an age.”
“Which makes you twenty-eight or-nine. I’m thirty-one.” A couple of years shouldn’t make any difference at this stage of their lives, especially since it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d been the one who was older. But she could still remember when those couple of years between her and Lee made a big difference.
“Ah. An older woman.”
The laughter in his voice, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking, made her feel foolish—and that made her defensive.
“Yes,” she snapped. “Older. I’ll be gray-haired and wrinkly in a few years.”
“But now you’re a woman ripe with the juice of life.”
Her breath caught, her heart stumbled, and those juices warmed, ready to flow.
“Are you going to be showing me that trick of feeling the currents?” Michael held up their linked hands.
“It’s not your landscape.” Wasn’t Caitlin’s either in the purest sense, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.
“Ah. Well, you could still say you were trying to show me. Or you could tell your brother we’re holding hands because you like the looks of me and you were wondering when I’m going to kiss you again.”
Looking into her eyes, he lifted her hand and kissed her fingers—and an odd little thrill tickled her belly and stirred those juices.
“I have not been wondering about that,” she sputtered, glad the lantern light would hide the blush caused by the lie.
“I have.”
His smile changed. The humor in it faded, replaced by some quality she couldn’t name—or wasn’t sure she wanted to name. Because it was more than lust or desire.
A sharp whistle made them both look up the beach to where Caitlin was ineffectually tugging on Lee’s sleeve and Lee, may the Guardians bless him, was just standing there, staring back at them, not having lost the timing required to be a perfectly annoying younger brother.
“So what are you going to tell him, Glorianna Belladonna?” Michael asked as Lee began walking back toward them. “Are you going to tell your little brother that you were helping me learn about the currents—or that you were thinking of trying me on as a lover?”
Her body hummed. Her brain went blank.
And his words resonated through her like a promise—and yet felt oddly hollow.
He gave her hand a friendly squeeze and walked up the beach, passing Lee.
“Glorianna?” Lee said as soon as he reached her, his voice sharp with concern. “What’s wrong?”
She looked at her brother and blurted out the answer. “He wants to kiss me again.”
She could hear her heartbeats in the silence that hung between them. Then Lee said, “You just figured that out? When we were in the Den last night, the man was wrapped around you snug enough to have Sebastian muttering, so it’s not surprising he wants to kiss you again. At least, it’s not surprising to the rest of us.”
How was she supposed to figure that out? Sure, they’d had fun in the Den last night, but since then she’d been a bit preoccupied thinking about other things—although knowing her behavior had caused her cousin the incubus to mutter was rather gratifying. But Michael being younger than her was reason enough to put thoughts of kisses—and lovers—aside. Even if he wasn’t so much younger that it should make any difference.
But there had been something bittersweet in the resonance of his flirting just now, something that hadn’t been there last night in the Den. As if his feelings had changed in some way, but he didn’t want anyone to know they had changed. Didn’t even want to admit to himself that they had changed.
She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.
“Glorianna?”
She held up a hand to signal Lee to wait.
Distractions. Lures that tugged a person away from the path she needed to follow. Or signposts that confirmed the way. Were these thoughts about kisses and age a signpost warning her to turn away from a man who could easily distract her, or a lure nudging her away from a person who could help her fight the Eater? She didn’t fit into this landscape, and the Dark currents were working on her in ways they couldn’t in her pieces of the world.
She opened her eyes and looked at Lee. “Do you trust the Magician?”
“If you’re asking if I think he’ll act responsibly with regard to the world, then, yes, I trust him. Do I trust him with my sister?” Lee patted her cheek. “Not a chance.”
Should have known better than to ask a brother.
But the answer felt right and steadied her.
She tugged the lantern out of Lee’s hand. “I’ll go with Caitlin to take a look at her garden. You’re going with the Magician.”
“I don’t think that’s what he had in mind.”
Michael watched Caitlin and Glorianna head in the direction of the hill that would take them to Darling’s Garden, then turned to look at his remaining companion. “Tell me again how I ended up with you?”
“You make my sister nervous,” Lee replied.
He snorted. “That one has more brass than an orchestra and more nerve than a sore tooth. So I sincerely doubt I make her nervous. Her
brother, on the other hand…”
Lee just grinned, and that made him like the man even more, despite the feeling that neither Lee nor Sebastian was pleased by his interest in Glorianna. But she was a grown woman, and what she did with a man behind closed doors was none of their business, was it? Not that he’d say that to Lee. Or Sebastian.
So he sighed for show and said, “Come along, then. We’ll go to the harbor and see what news is to be had, then find out where my aunt Brighid has been staying.”
He struck out for the harbor, settling into the easy stride that covered ground but let him keep the pace for miles. A couple of minutes later, his conscience pricked him. He’d wanted to discomfort Lee, but he didn’t want the man pulling a muscle in the effort to keep up.
But when he started to suggest they slow down, Lee just looked at him and smiled. That’s when Michael realized the other man had settled into the same rhythm.
“Travel on your feet a lot, do you?” Michael asked.
Lee nodded. “A fair amount. Depends on how far I’m traveling and where.” He stopped suddenly and pressed the palm of one hand against his forehead.
“Is your head troubling you?” He hadn’t noticed Lee indulging to excess last night, but drink took men differently.
“Something is,” Lee muttered.
Now Michael focused on the man—and on the music inside the man. A good tune, solid and steady. Reminded him of his friend Nathan. But there were sharp riffs now that hadn’t been there last night. As if the song that was Raven’s Hill was working on Lee.
“Maybe you should go back to your little island.”
Lee lowered his hand and shook his head. “I’m all right.”
No, you’re not. If something about Raven’s Hill was so troubling to Lee, what might it be doing to Glorianna?
“It’s not much farther.” With luck, he’d catch Nathan before the workday started. Whenever he felt ragged during a visit home, a few hours with Nathan settled him again. Maybe the same would be true for Lee.