‘Vee did say it wasn’t for beginners,’ Mike helpfully reminded me whilst I waited in agony for my tongue to spontaneously combust.
Erica and Anjuli just rocked with laughter as tears streamed down my face.
‘Drink.’ Vee handed me the milk.
I downed it so fast I don’t think the liquid made contact with any part of my mouth, just the back of my throat.
‘I’ll get you another,’ said Vee, ‘but this time, let it flow over your tongue where it’ll do some good.’
I couldn’t speak. All I could do was nod vigorously, my tongue still hanging out of my mouth. Vee brought me another glass of milk which I glugged down in one gulp as well but this time I let it stream over my poor tongue as she had suggested. Instant relief. Thank God!
‘Better?’ Vee asked.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. At least the tears had stopped streaming now. So much for making a good impression. Nothing excites a girl more than watching a guy make a damned fool of himself! If I could’ve found a way to slink out of the hydroponics bay never to return, I would’ve taken it.
‘That wasn’t chilli, that was lava,’ I coughed, handing the bowl back to Vee as she sat down. ‘You seriously eat that stuff?’
Without saying a word, Vee put a full spoonful in her mouth and began to calmly chew like a boss. And I didn’t miss the gleam of satisfaction in her eyes. My wide-eyed disbelief morphed into grudging respect.
With a grin, Vee took another mouthful, before licking the back of the spoon.
‘How are you doing that?’ I asked with genuine amazement.
‘A soupçon of charm, a modicum of wit and more than a splash of badassery. Superior skills!’ Vee told me. ‘Want some more?’
‘God, no! I mean, no thanks. It was . . . nice though.’
Oh God!
Vee raised an eyebrow. ‘Great acting skills there. Worthy of Robert De Niro, that was.’
‘Robert who?’ asked Erica.
‘Robert De Niro. He was a twentieth- and twenty-first century actor. He was in The Godfather Part II and Taxi Driver and Meet the Parents amongst others and won all kinds of acting awards,’ Vee replied.
‘How d’you know so much about him?’ said Erica.
Vee smiled. ‘Films of the twentieth- and twenty-first centuries are my predilection. We have a huge library of films on board and I’ve watched all of them at least twice. Most of them more often than that.’
‘Why would you want to watch films from over a century ago?’ asked Erica.
I admit, I was wondering the same thing too.
‘For the same reason I read books or listen to music written throughout the centuries,’ Vee replied. ‘Good is good, regardless of when or where it originated.’
‘You use a lot of fancy words, don’t you?’ said Erica, almost as an accusation.
Vee blinked at Erica in surprise. I winced slightly. Erica made it sound like having book learning was a crime. I frowned at her, not appreciating how she was implying that we were all as ignorant as a box of rocks and happy to be so.
‘I don’t have film and book learning like you do,’ said Erica. ‘The Authority didn’t allow it. They didn’t want us getting any ideas.’
‘Erica . . .’ Mike’s voice held a warning.
Vee was puzzled. ‘Why would the Authority care what you read or watch?’
Erica’s lips clamped together. Quick accusatory glances passed between Mike and Erica which Vee caught. She looked to me for an explanation. I said nothing. Vee sighed.
‘Well, the ship’s computer has a huge library of books, music and films which can be accessed from your quarters at any time, so help yourself,’ she said.
‘What would you recommend?’ I asked quickly.
Too quickly. Like, in a hurry to change the subject quickly.
‘Another bowl of chilli for you that even a toddler could eat?’ Vee replied.
Damn it! I was blushing. ‘That sounds perfect,’ I agreed. ‘But I was talking about films.’
‘I know,’ Vee smiled. ‘I was teasing.’
‘Maybe you and I could watch some of your favourites together some time?’ I suggested.
Vee’s eyes widened as she beamed at me, obviously liking the idea. ‘Yeah, OK. If you’d like.’
Wow! Her smile lit up the whole room. It’d be too easy to get lost in a smile like that, a smile that might even reach some of the darker places inside me.
Be careful, Nathan.
But I couldn’t tell a lie. The idea of watching films or sharing music with Vee, well, it appealed.
‘I’d like very much,’ I said sincerely.
Ignoring the speculative looks of the others, I walked over to the dispenser and ordered a hamburger and another glass of cold milk. No more chilli.
‘Did Aidan explain to all of you that there are utility dispensers in your sleeping quarters and you can use any dispenser on board to get whatever you want – food, clothes, whatever you need,’ I said.
‘Tell me more about your brother,’ said Erica, a gleam in her eyes.
‘He doesn’t come out of a utility dispenser,’ Vee replied.
That caused laughter.
‘I wish he did,’ Erica winked.
‘We’d never get you out of your room!’ said Anjuli.
‘So go on, Vee. Aidan. Tell me more,’ Erica urged.
‘More like what?’ Vee asked cautiously.
‘What’s he into? What does he do in his spare time? What kind of girls does he like? I’m hoping he’s into girls rather than guys? Am I his type? What’s his idea of an ideal date? Is he into films too? Music? Would he date a girl like me?’
‘A girl like you?’ Vee blinked at the verbal waterfall.
I wasn’t surprised. When Erica started it was hard to get her to stop.
‘Erica means a girl who can’t shut up,’ said Anjuli quickly before anyone else could reply.
‘You’d need to ask him that for yourself,’ Vee replied.
I resumed my original seat which wisely no one had tried to take in my brief absence. We all ate our food in a companionable silence now that the tense atmosphere had cleared. I stole a glance at Vee only to find she was watching me. She immediately smiled, from a place that came from within rather than some polite effort she’d merely painted on her lips.
‘Aidan said you modified this ship?’ said Anjuli after a couple of sips of her soup. ‘How?’
Vee shrugged. ‘Made it faster. I improved the efficiency of the engine by almost thirty per cent.’
‘Really? Just you and Aidan?’ I asked.
‘Well, it was more me than Aidan. I just used him to confirm my calculations and to see whether or not my changes would be feasible.’
‘And . . . you’ve communicated your engine changes back on Earth?’ said Anjuli.
Vee stiffened, immediately on her guard. ‘There’s no two-way communication with Earth, or any of Earth’s outposts, this far. Once I’m home and docked, they can download all my modifications when they uplink to this ship’s computer.’
‘What made you want to modify the engine in the first place?’ I asked.
‘I want to get home as fast as possible. My maternal grandparents still live on Earth,’ Vee replied. ‘Plus, after the crew died, I didn’t have much else to occupy my time, so it was either watch films or tinker with my ship.’
‘Any chance you’d let me see the schematics of your changes?’ I said as casually as I could.
If Vee was on her guard before that was nothing to the expression on her face now. She was right, she had absolutely no poker face. ‘Why?’
‘Spacefleet design is my hobby,’ I shrugged. ‘There isn’t a ship that I haven’t studied in detail. None of the other settlers were much interested in the inner workings of ships, except Anjuli. And maybe Sam. And possibly Darren. Anyway, that’s why I’m so fascinated to learn more about the modifications you’ve made.’
Vee took a last mouthful of her food, cons
idering my request. ‘What are your other hobbies?’ she asked.
‘Weapons design, military tactics throughout the ages, inventing stuff. I’m a hands-on kind of guy,’ I said. ‘So can I see your modified schematics?
‘What does your mum think of your hands-on hobbies?’
It didn’t escape me that Vee still hadn’t answered my repeated question.
‘She’s still trying to figure out where she went wrong,’ I smiled. ‘Not that she knows half the stuff I’m into. What about Aidan? Is he into the same kind of things too?’
‘Depends how you look at it.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Aidan is interested in anything and everything to do with this ship.’ Vee shrugged.
I waited for her to continue. Vee smiled but said nothing else. She watched me. Now it was my turn to force myself not to look away. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Erica nudge Mike whilst all eyes were on Vee and me.
‘I really am interested in your modifications, but for interest’s sake – nothing more. I’m not spying for my mum or anyone else. You can trust me,’ I said.
‘I don’t know you,’ Vee pointed out.
‘You will. And you’ll trust me.’
Vee raised an eyebrow. ‘You can guarantee that, can you?’
‘Of course! Just look.’ I waved my hand around in front of my face. ‘Isn’t it the most reliable, dependable, honourable face you ever saw?’
Vee raised an eyebrow. ‘Er . . . compared to what?’
Ouch!
15
The look on Nathan’s face made me laugh out loud. He was so cute when his ego got slightly and lightly stomped.
‘Thanks!’ said Nathan drily. ‘I think I’ll let that slide.’
‘As opposed to doing what?’ I asked silkily.
Nathan looked at me, a slight smile playing at the corner of his mouth though he didn’t answer.
‘So how come this ship and your brother have the same name? Which came first?’ asked Erica.
‘My brother.’ I said. ‘This ship was commissioned and built eight years ago and named after Admiral Adam Aidan.’
‘The one who died during the Barrington uprising?’ said Nathan.
‘That’s the one. He and his crew died saving the lives of the rest of the fleet. It took the Authority a while to acknowledge their sacrifice though. I guess naming this ship after him once he was posthumously exonerated was their way of trying to make amends to his family for calling him a traitor and a coward in the first place. When Mum was given command of this ship, she said the fact that it had the same name as my brother and a hero was an omen. A good one.’ My smile faded. ‘Turns out the name wasn’t such a good sign after all.’
Nathan placed a commiserating hand on my thigh, just above my knee. I smiled at him grateful for his sympathy. He removed his hand but I could still feel the heat from it for seconds afterwards.
‘But to look at it another way, you were lucky,’ Erica said.
‘Lucky?’ I exclaimed. ‘How?’
‘How?’ Erica spoke as if surprised I even had to ask. ‘The whole galaxy has been yours to explore.’
Wow! Was she serious?
‘Mine to explore alone. What’s the point of going to amazing places and seeing incredible sights when I’ve had no one to share them with?’ I asked.
‘And no one to tell you what to do or where you can and can’t go,’ said Erica. ‘Sounds great to me.’
Erica had a romanticized view of my last few years. Travelling alone and lonely had been soul-destroying. Only clinging to thoughts of home back on Earth had kept me from flying the Aidan into a star.
‘It’s not as good as going home,’ I replied. ‘Not as good as knowing you have somewhere to go and somewhere to be and someone who cares waiting for you at the end of it.’
‘Yeah, well we don’t all have that waiting for us,’ Erica replied brusquely.
She was glaring at me. Again. What had I said wrong this time? All at once the atmosphere in the room started to get tense.
‘As far as I’m concerned, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey and who you make it with that counts.’ Nathan was looking at me as he spoke.
OK, Vee, you can look away now.
Vee, move your head! Look away now.
I couldn’t get my neck to move. I just kept looking into Nathan’s dark-green eyes, feeling like I was falling, drowning. It was only when Anjuli coughed meaningfully that I managed to tear my gaze away. All eyes were upon us. Heat flamed across my face.
‘So did you get to explore any of the planets you must’ve travelled past?’ asked Anjuli.
I could’ve kissed her! Great change of subject. Thanks, Anjuli.
‘No, I didn’t.’
‘Not even one?’
‘No.’
‘But you could’ve? I mean, didn’t you have the ship’s robot to accompany you for safety?’ asked Anjuli. ‘Weren’t you the least bit curious?’
I shrugged. ‘The ship’s robot was damaged beyond repair on one of the planets we explored over a year before the crew died. I wasn’t prepared to risk landing on any planet without one, to be honest.’
‘That’s understandable,’ said Mike. ‘You and your brother would’ve been far too vulnerable just by yourselves on some unknown planet.’
‘Exactly. When the ship’s robot was damaged, it couldn’t be salvaged so the decision was made to leave it behind.’ Time to change the subject. ‘I just want all of you to know how sorry I am about the friends and family you lost back on Barros 5. I know what it’s like to lose loved ones.’
‘We’re used to it,’ said Erica.
I frowned. How did you ever get used to something like that? Mike gave Erica another significant look which she didn’t seem to notice.
‘What happened to the original crew when they died?’ asked Erica. ‘I mean, what did you do?’
Strange question. What did she think I did? I wept. I hurt. I mourned. And I tried to move on.
‘Standard funeral procedures. The bodies of those who’d died were jettisoned out into space,’ I replied. ‘Towards the end, only Aidan and I were well enough to do that. We’d stand beside the bodies, I’d say a few words and then they were gone.’
That had been the scariest, most unhappy time of my life. I still remembered my dad existing on a couple of hours’ sleep a night as he and his two medical colleagues desperately sought a cure, until he too had become ill. I’d had to watch my mum and dad and the rest of the crew die by degrees. I never wanted to go through that again.
‘It must’ve been lonely, just you and your brother,’ said Nathan.
‘It was, but at least I had Aidan. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him, to be honest,’ I admitted.
‘You and your brother are very close, aren’t you?’ said Nathan.
‘He’s all I have. I’m all he has.’ I shrugged. ‘He kept me sane when our parents and the rest of the crew died.’
‘And you haven’t managed to figure out exactly what killed them?’ asked Mike.
What should I say? The whole truth was out of the question. Best just to tell some of the honest edited highlights.
‘At first Dad thought we might’ve picked up a virus from one of the unexplored planets we landed on,’ I said, sadness folding its arms around me. ‘Our decontamination procedures were very strict though for unexplored, unregistered planets, so even Dad admitted that was highly unlikely. When the crew began to die, we wondered if maybe we’d been infected with a Mazon nano-virus. Some even thought that maybe the Mazon had deliberately infected us.’
The truth, however, was a lot more horrifying.
‘Hang on, all of us were just down on the planet surface and now we’re on your ship,’ said Nathan.
I gave him a pitying look. ‘You seriously think any of you would’ve made it past the cargo hold if you hadn’t been decontaminated first?’
Nathan frowned, then his expression cleared. ‘The mist
coming out of the vents . . .’ he realized. ‘You’ve set up the cargo hold to automatically decontaminate anything in there.’
I tapped my nose and pointed to him. ‘Safety and security are the top priority on this ship. Nothing and no one makes it out of the cargo bay without being decontaminated first.’
‘And anything that doesn’t pass the decontamination test?’ asked Anjuli.
‘Stays in the cargo bay or gets ejected from the ship – no ifs, ands, buts or exceptions,’ I said.
‘So how, with all that in place, did the virus find its way on board?’ said Nathan.
I looked down at my lap. I wasn’t very good at lying so I didn’t want to look any of them in the eyes as I did so. ‘I wish I knew.’
‘How come you and your brother survived?’ asked Mike.
‘No idea. This universe is full to overflowing with the things I don’t know.’ I shrugged. ‘What about all of you? Catherine said something about a transport abandoning you on Barros 5. I still don’t understand why any Earth vessel would do that? Where did it pick you all up from? And where were you going?’
Nathan and the others exchanged looks which spoke volumes to those who understood the language. I didn’t.
Nathan scrutinized me, then took a deep breath. ‘Vee, we . . . all of us . . . we’re drones. We used to live in the colony on Callisto, working the mines.’
I stared at him. ‘You’re a drone?’
I couldn’t believe it. Anjuli and Mike stared at Nathan, just as stunned as I was. Erica’s gaze moved from me to Nathan and back again, gauging my reaction. It was that more than anything that made me realize this was a joke. I laughed, more at my own gullibility than anything else.
‘Good one, Nathan. You almost had me going there. Almost. Like you could be a drone! They’re just subintellect labourers doing all the menial, manual work that’s too filthy or hazardous for normal people to do.’
Silence.
‘Normal people . . .’ said Nathan quietly.
Those two words and the look in his eyes wiped the smile right off my face. Oh my God. He was serious.
Nathan was a drone.