He didn’t think it was the time to mention the fact that she was already screaming. “Not we,” he said in soft, soothing voice. “You’re the one who thinks this is a serious matter,” he explained. “I don’t.”
She took a deep breath and tried one last time. “Nathan, please try to understand my feelings,” she whispered. “I’ve decided that it isn’t decent for you to sleep with me.” She was too embarrassed to continue with that particular bend in the topic. “Are you going to marry me or not?”
“I already did.”
Lord, she was furious with him. Her face was as red as sunburn, and she couldn’t meet his gaze. She was staring intently at his chest. The subject was obviously extremely distressing to him.
And yet she persisted. “Look,” she muttered. “It’s really very simple to understand, even for a St. James. I want to be properly courted, Nathan, and you aren’t going to touch me until we’ve said our vows in front of a man of God. Do you hear me?”
“I’m certain he heard you clear, miss,” came a shout from behind her. Sara shoved herself away from Nathan and turned around to find an audience of some ten men smiling at her. All had paused in their duties, she noticed, and all were nodding at her. Most were actually a fair distance away.
“Aye, I’d wager he caught every word,” called another. “You ain’t going to let the captain touch you until you’re wed proper. Ain’t that right, Haedley?”
A baldheaded, bent-shouldered man nodded. “That’s what I heard,” he shouted back.
Sara was mortified. Lord, she must have been screaming like a shrew.
She decided to blame Nathan. She turned around to glare at him. “Must you embarrass me?”
“You’re doing a fair job on your own, bride. Go back to the cabin,” he ordered. “Take that gown off.”
She was immediately waylaid by that command. “Why? Don’t you like it?” she asked.
“Take everything off, Sara. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Her heart almost failed her when the fullness of what he’d just said settled in her mind. She was simply too furious to try to reason with him any longer. Without a word of farewell she turned around and slowly walked away from him.
She passed Jimbo on her way toward the steps. “You were correct, Mister Jimbo,” she said in a hoarse whisper. “Nathan is daft.”
The seaman wasn’t given time to reply, for Lady Sara was already gone.
She didn’t start in running until she reached the wardroom area. Sara picked up her skirts and ran like lightning then. She didn’t pause at her cabin door but continued on to the far corner, where Aunt Nora’s quarters were located.
For all his bulk and age, Matthew could still be quick when the occasion called for such action, and he reached the door at the same time Sara did.
“Lady Sara, I’m hoping you won’t disturb sweet Nora with a visit now,” he said from behind.
She hadn’t heard his approach. She let out a loud gasp and turned around. “You gave me a startle,” she began. “You shouldn’t sneak up on someone, sir. What is your name?”
“Matthew.”
“I’m pleased to meet you,” she returned. “As for my aunt, well, I just wanted to look in on her.”
“I’m taking care of your aunt,” Matthew interjected. “She isn’t up to visitors today. She’s tuckered out.”
Sara immediately felt guilty. She had fully intended on pouring her heart out to her aunt so that she could gain her assistance in dealing with Nathan. Her own problems seemed paltry, however. “Nora isn’t truly ill, is she?” she asked, fear obvious in her voice. “I saw the bruises, but I thought—”
“She’s going to heal just fine,” Matthew announced. He was pleased by her caring attitude. “Nora’s needing plenty of rest, though. She shouldn’t move about neither. Her ribs were cracked—”
“Oh God, I didn’t know.”
“Now, now, don’t start in weeping,” Matthew pleaded. Lady Sara’s eyes were already looking misty to him. He didn’t know what he’d do if she went full-blown on him. The thought of having to comfort the captain’s wife made his stomach tighten up. “It ain’t as bad as all that,” he announced with a nod for emphasis. “I’ve wrapped her tight around the middle. She just needs rest is all. I don’t want her fretting about anything, either,” he added. He gave her a knowing look when he made that last remark.
Sara immediately concluded he’d guessed what her mission was. She bowed her head in contrition and said, “I was going to burden her with a special problem that has developed. I won’t bother her, of course. I don’t want to worry her. When she awakens will you please tell her that I’ll come to visit her as soon as she asks for me?”
Matthew nodded. Sara took hold of his hand. The show of affection rattled him. “Thank you for helping Nora. She’s such a good-hearted woman. She has suffered so, Mister Matthew, and all because of me.”
Lordy, she looked like she was about to burst into tears again. “Now, now, you didn’t do the damage to your aunt,” Matthew said. “You aren’t the one who kicked her in the ribs. I was told it was your father and his brothers behind the foul deed.”
“My Uncle Henry was behind this treachery,” she returned. “Still, I’m just as responsible. If I hadn’t insisted that Nora come back to England with me ...”
She didn’t go on with her explanation. She gave Matthew’s hand another quick squeeze, then surprised a smile out of him when she made a formal curtsy and told him how pleased she was to have him on her staff.
Matthew mopped his brow as he watched her walk back to her cabin. He grunted over the foolishness of it all, for the fact that he was actually nervous because she had almost cried was simply ludicrous. Still, he was smiling when he strolled away.
Sara continued to think about Nora until she opened the door to her cabin. As soon as she spotted the big bed the problem of Nathan became uppermost in her thoughts.
She didn’t dare waste another minute. She shut the door, bolted it, and then dragged her heavy trunk over to the entrance, straining her back with the effort.
She hurried over to the table, thinking she’d put that piece of furniture up against the trunk to add to her fortress.
No matter how much grit she put to the chore, she couldn’t get the table to budge. She finally located the cause. The legs had been nailed to the floor. “Now why would anyone want to do such a thing?” she muttered to herself.
She tried to move the desk and found that it had also been nailed to the floor. The chairs, thankfully, weren’t stationary. They were heavy, though. Sara dragged one over to the trunk and spent precious minutes struggling with the weight until she’d lifted the awkward piece of furniture and had it propped up on top.
She stood back to observe her work. She rubbed her lower back, trying to take the sting away. She knew that blocking the door was only a temporary measure, but she still felt she’d been very clever. It didn’t take her long to discard that bit of praise, however, when she realized how childishly she was behaving. Yes, she thought to herself, her conduct was infantile, but then so was Nathan’s. If he wasn’t going to be reasonable, why should she? Perhaps by nightfall her Viking would come to his senses and realize her request had validity. And if the muleheaded man didn’t agree, well, she was determined to stay inside the cabin until he gave in. If she starved to death, so be it.
“I like it better the other way.”
Sara jumped a foot, then whirled around. She found Nathan lounging against the edge of the desk, smiling at her.
He didn’t wait for her question but simply pointed up to the trapdoor. “I usually come in through the top,” he explained in a soft whisper. “It’s quicker.”
She might have nodded, but she couldn’t be sure. She leaned back against the trunk and stared at him. Oh, God, now what was she going to do?
His bride couldn’t seem to find her voice. Nathan decided to give her a little more time to calm down before he pressed her. The color was c
ompletely gone from her face, and there was the real possibility that she might swoon on him again.
“I assume you were trying to change the room around?”
His voice had been pleasant, soothing. She wanted to scream. “Yes,” she blurted out instead. “I like it better this way.”
He shook his head. “It won’t do.”
“It won’t?”
“You might not have noticed, but the trunk and the chair are actually blocking the door. Besides, I don’t think either one of us will want to sit . . . up there.”
His remarks were ridiculous, of course. They both knew why the door was blocked. Sara pretended to give the matter her full attention, however, in an attempt to save her pride. “Yes, I do believe you’re right,” she announced. “The furniture is blocking the door. I only just noticed. Thank you so much for pointing out that fact to me.” She didn’t pause for breath when she added, “Why is the table nailed to the floor?”
“You tried to move that, too?”
She ignored the laughter in his voice. “I thought it would look much nicer in front of the trunk. The desk, too,” she added. “But I couldn’t move either one.”
He stood up and took a step toward her. She immediately backed away. “When the pitch of the sea gets rough, the furniture moves,” he explained. He took another step toward her. “That’s the reason.”
She felt as though she was being stalked. Nathan’s long hair swayed about his shoulders when he moved. The muscles in his shoulders seemed to roll with his pantherlike swagger. She wanted to run away from him, and yet in the back of her mind was the honest admission that she wanted him to catch her. She thoroughly liked the way he kissed her . . . but that was all she was going to like.
From the look on Nathan’s face she knew he would like a lot more from her. His intimidating tactics were making her daft. She frowned at him for confusing her.
He smiled back.
She’d made a half circle of the cabin but trapped herself at the head of his bed. Nathan stopped when he saw the fear in her eyes. He let out a long sigh.
She thought he might be having second thoughts, yet before she could grasp the joy in that possibility his big hands were on her shoulders, and he was pulling her toward him.
He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look into his eyes. His voice was actually very gentle when he said, “Sara, I know this is difficult for you. If there was more time, perhaps we could wait until you knew me a little better. I won’t lie to you and tell you I could or would court you, though, for in truth I don’t have the patience or the experience for such a chore. Still, I don’t want you to be afraid of me.” He paused to shrug, then smiled at her. “It shouldn’t matter to me if you’re afraid or not, but it does.”
“Then . . . ”
“There isn’t time,” he interrupted. “If you hadn’t run away from me eight months ago, you’d be carrying my son now.”
Her eyes widened over that announcement. Nathan thought she was reacting to his mention of a babe. She was such an innocent, and he knew she didn’t have any experience in sexual matters. And Lord, that did please him.
“I didn’t run away from you,” she blurted out. “Whatever are you talking about?”
That denial surprised a frown out of him. “Don’t you dare lie to me.” He gave her shoulders a little squeeze to emphasize his words. “I will not abide it, Sara. You must always be completely honest with me.”
She looked as furious as he’d sounded. “I’m not lying,” she returned. “I never ran away from you, Viking. Never.”
He believed her. She looked too sincere, and thoroughly outraged.
“Sara, I sent a letter to your parents informing them of my intent to come for you. I sent the messenger on a Friday. You were supposed to be ready the following Monday. I even gave the hour. You left for your aunt’s island on Sunday morning, the day before. I simply put two and two together.”
“I didn’t know,” she returned. “Nathan, my parents must not have received your letter. Neither one said a word to me. It was such a chaotic time. My mother was worried sick about my Aunt Nora, her sister. Nora always wrote at least one letter a month, but Mother hadn’t received a missive in such a long time. She was making herself ill worrying about Nora. When she suggested I go to her sister and find out what was wrong, well, I immediately agreed, of course.”
“Just when did your mother confide this worry in you?” he asked.
His cynicism irritated her. She knew what he was thinking and frowned in reaction. “A few days before I left,” she admitted. “But she wouldn’t have confided her concerns to me if I hadn’t caught her crying. And she was most reluctant to burden me. Very reluctant,” she added. “Do you know, now that I reflect upon it, I’m certain I was the one who suggested I go to Nora’s island.”
A sudden thought turned her attention. “How did you know my true destination? My family told everyone I had gone to the colonies to visit my older sister.”
He didn’t bother to explain that his men had been following her, and he didn’t mention that she’d booked passage on one of his ships. He simply shrugged. “Why couldn’t they have told the truth about the matter?”
“Because Nora was in disgrace,” Sara said. “She married her groom and fled from England over fourteen years ago. I was certain everyone would have forgotten the scandal, but as it happens, no one did.”
Nathan turned the topic back to the letters. “So you didn’t know that Nora hadn’t written to your mother until two days before you left?”
“Mother didn’t want me to worry,” Sara said. “I won’t allow you to think that my mother had anything to do with trickery. My father or my sister might have tried to intercept your missive, Nathan, just to make you wait a little longer, but my mother would never have gone along with such deceit.”
Nathan found her defense of her mother honorable. Illogical, but honorable all the same. For that reason he didn’t force her to accept the truth. Her belief that her father was innocent, however, irritated the hell out of him.
And then it dawned on him that she hadn’t tried to run away from him. He was so pleased over that revelation, he quit frowning.
Sara stared up at her husband while she tried to think of another way to convince him that her mother was completely innocent of any treachery. And then the truth of what he had just told her settled in her mind.
He hadn’t forgotten her.
Her smile was captivating. He didn’t know what to make of the sudden change in her. She threw herself against his chest, wrapped her arms around his waist, and hugged him. He grunted in reaction. He was more confused than ever by her bizarre behavior. Yet he found he liked the sudden show of affection she was showing him, liked it very much.
Sara let out a little sigh, then moved back from her husband.
“What was that all about?” he asked, grimacing inside over the hard edge in his voice.
She didn’t seem to notice. She patted her hair back into place as she whispered, “You didn’t forget me.” She tossed a strand of curls back over her shoulder in a motion he found thoroughly feminine, then added, “Of course, I knew you hadn’t. I was certain there was just a little misunderstanding of sorts, because I . . . ”
When she didn’t continue, he said, “Because you knew I wanted to be married to you?”
She nodded.
He laughed.
She gave him a disgruntled look, then said, “Nathan, when I couldn’t find Nora I sent several notes to your residence asking for your assistance, and you never responded. I did wonder then . . .”
“Sara, I don’t have a residence,” Nathan announced.
“Of course you do,” she argued. “You have the townhouse. I saw it once when I was out for a ride in ... why are you shaking your head at me?”
“My townhouse was burned to the ground last year.”
“No one told me!”
He shrugged.
“I should have sent the message to your
country home, then,” she said. “All right,” she added in a mutter. “Now why are you shaking your head?”
“The country home was also destroyed by fire,” he explained.
“When?”
“Last year,” he answered. “About a month before my townhouse was gutted.”
She looked appalled. “You have had your share of mishaps, haven’t you, Nathan?”
They weren’t mishaps, but he didn’t tell her that. The fires had been deliberately set by his enemies. They’d been looking for incriminating letters. Nathan had been working for his government, and at the end of the investigation the bastards had been dealt with, but he hadn’t had time to right the damage to his estate just yet.
“You actually wrote to me asking my assistance in locating Nora?” he asked.
She nodded. “I didn’t know who else to turn to,” she admitted. “I think it was your Uncle Dunnford St. James who was behind this trickery,” she added.
“Which trickery?” he asked.
“He probably intercepted the missive you sent to my parents.”
He let her see his exasperation. “I think it was your father who was behind that scheme.”
“And just why would you think that?”
“Because Attila the Hun’s been dead for years,” he said. “And your father is the only other man mean enough to come up with such a vile plan.”
“I won’t listen to such slander against my father. Besides, I’m just as certain it was Dunnford.”
“Oh? And is he the one who beat your aunt?”
Her eyes immediately filled with tears. He regretted his question at once. She turned to stare at his chest before answering. “No,” she whispered. “That was the work of my Uncle Henry. He’s the one you saw inside the tavern the other night. And now you know the truth about me,” she ended with a pitiful wail.
Nathan lifted her chin up with the crook of his finger. His thumb rubbed her smooth skin. “What truth?”
She stared into his eyes a long minute before answering. “I come from bad stock.”