“I’m not trying to get you to forgive him. This is about you, Rachel. You are a very giving and kind person who has helped every person in this town at one time or another, yet you didn’t give any of us a chance to stand beside you when you needed us. You ran.”
“I was so angry at my brothers and Cash. I didn’t want to be near them.”
“If you keep letting them control you, they will. Learn to stand up for yourself.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Rachel replied.
“I’m willing to bet they’re more willing to compromise since you left. I’ve seen Tate, and he’s in bad shape. Dustin and Greer aren’t much better.”
Rachel blinked back tears. Her brothers might be idiots, but she missed them. “I’ll call them.”
Dean’s hand squeezed her arm. Standing up straight, he then gave her the smile she had seen on so many Sunday afternoons.
“I’ve missed having you to talk to. Do you miss the church at all?”
An indiscernible look crossed his face. “I miss talking with and helping the people I grew close to while I was undercover, but getting up early every Sunday? No.”
Rachel laughed at his attempted joke.
“If you need to talk, I’m just a phone call away,” Dean offered.
“I am, too,” Rachel returned the offer as he left then stood, staring sightlessly at Cash on the bed.
Gingerly reaching out her hand, she touched his foot and attempted again to connect with something in him. Nothing.
She sat back down on the chair, waiting.
Chapter 12
Rachel was crossing the parking lot to her car when she saw her brothers walking toward her. She thought about going back inside the ICU where they couldn’t go—Shade had put them on the ‘do not admit’ list to provide her with a safe zone from them—instead, she stopped and waited for their approach.
She refused to feel guilty when she saw how worried they were. Tate’s face was haggard, and he had aged at least ten years in a matter of weeks. She braced herself for their harsh words, but was ill-prepared when Tate didn’t hesitate to jerk her into his arms, holding her close. When he finally released her, she was enfolded in Greer’s then Dustin’s embrace.
“I’m going to give you an old-fashioned butt whippin’ for scaring the shit out of me, Rach,” Tate threatened.
She didn’t get angry; she could tell he had taken her disappearance hard.
“I’m not sorry I left, Tate. You needed to cool down. You don’t have the right to talk to me that way. And Greer, your behavior humiliated me in front of my friends, and it’s not the first time. You need to get your act together. Dustin, you’re a father now; you’re too old to be picking fights and should be setting an example for your son. You’re letting Holly raise your child and set all the limits. Is that how you want to raise Logan? Tate, you told me that Mom and Dad would be ashamed by my behavior, but I don’t think my behavior is the one who would be shaming them.
“Not a one of you have tried to do anything but sell weed. Is that the legacy we’re going to leave Logan; another generation running from the law, living on the outskirts of society? Until you three get your act together, I don’t want to talk to you.”
She left her three brothers standing there with their mouths open.
* * *
“We decreased his medication so he’s in more of a deep sleep versus a coma.”
Rachel stood behind the large group of bikers as they listened to Cash’s doctor explain his condition.
“His spinal injury is quite severe, and we’re going to begin to wean him off the ventilator.” The doctor paused. “I do not anticipate him walking again.”
At his proclamation, several of the women began crying. Viper put his arms around Winter, Knox pulled Diamond closer, and Evie turned to King. Everyone there stood stupefied at the doctor’s prognosis that the consequences of the wreck would be life-changing for Cash.
The Last Riders began making plans as soon as the doctor left.
“We can put him downstairs. It’s accessible with a wheelchair and has the exercise equipment and hot tub,” Viper stated.
“I’ll call Donna as soon as he’s out of the rehab center,” Winter said.
Cash was loved by this group of people who he had made his family.
Lily and Beth both came to stand by her side after the others had left.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again.” Lily’s tearful voice brought a sheen to her own eyes. “You could have at least called me.”
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
Lily’s bright smile appeared, and Rachel was grabbed in a tight hug before she was released and grabbed by Beth.
“Rachel, I understand how you felt. Do you remember how Georgia called me names on Christmas Eve? The men were the ones who made fools of themselves; no one thought badly of you.” Lily’s words struck home.
“I was just so embarrassed. Then I was angry and wanted to get away.”
“I know how you feel. Sometimes, you need to take a step back and let yourself heal before you can face things,” Lily said, squeezing her hand. “Next time, please don’t go off without telling anyone where you are, though.”
“I won’t,” Rachel promised.
“How are the babies?” she asked Beth, changing the subject.
“Growing big.” Beth laughed, showing her pictures on her phone. The twin boys looked just like their father. The chubby babies were both wearing baby Harley t-shirts in the picture.
“Let’s go get some lunch in the cafeteria before you come back,” Beth said, sliding her arm through hers. Lily slid her arm through the other as they made their way through the hospital.
They sat and talked for over an hour, and it was the most normal she had felt since the party. Then Rachel returned to Cash’s room.
She had grown used to the nurses’ curious stares, but Shade had gotten the doctor’s permission for her to stay in the room with him.
Two days later, the prognosis was looking even grimmer.
Cash was free of the coma-inducing drugs, but he had yet to wake. Their efforts to wean him from the ventilator had led to two serious crises that Rachel had been afraid he wouldn’t pull out of. The latest attempt had been the worst.
The doctor straightened, tired and worn after stabilizing Cash. “You should call his friends and grandmother in to see him. He won’t survive if he crashes again.”
Rachel could only nod as the doctor and nurses left. She walked closer to his bed, looking down at the man she had loved most of her life, and knew she was going to lose him.
Deep in her heart, she knew why her powers hadn’t worked. Lying in this bed for this last week, he had been hers. This was the only way she would ever have Cash—when he was unable to physically leave her. It was sick and twisted, but she had lied to herself each day. If she wasn’t honest with herself, she was going to lose him forever.
Rachel shut the door and pulled the curtain across the glass to the observation room before going back beside his bed. Ever since the doctor had told her Cash was no longer in a coma, she had felt his consciousness stirring.
She drew her focus into her hands the way she had been taught by her grandmother. Her gift would be at its full strength since she deliberately hadn’t used it, unconsciously building it for this moment.
Relaxing, she touched Cash, letting her mind forget the last time she had seen him, going back to when she was a young girl and had come across him in the woods.
He had been having a picnic with one of the cheerleaders from school, and they had been lying on the blanket sleeping. His hair had glinted in the early morning sun, and she had thought he looked like a male angel. She had stared at him several minutes then run off when he woke, staring at her. They had never mentioned the incident, both pretending it had never happened.
She touched his shoulders, running her hands down his arms. Moving to his feet, she ran her hands up his legs then touched his waist and chest. Sh
e let her energy flow from her fingertips into his body. Gracefully, she slid her hand under his neck and carefully glided her hand under his back, letting her hand rest for several minutes where he was injured the worst before coming to a rest on his lungs.
Praying for her grandmother’s and mother’s help, she gave what she could, infusing healthy energy into the damaged organs. She made herself stop briefly only because she was covered in sweat and trembling, feeling like she was going to throw up. She took a seat, making herself drink several glasses of water while she regrouped.
She had never worked on anyone this injured, heeding her grandmother’s warning that the energy required to heal someone of a critical injury could only come from one source. Rachel prayed for His help as she once again went to Cash, this time placing her fingertips against his temple.
* * *
Cash lay in the darkness, comfortable in the warmth surrounding him. He had tried to get to his feet in the darkness, but every time he tried, the agony overwhelmed him. The darkness wasn’t so bad, though; it was a hell of a lot better than the pain.
Somewhere in the void, Cash heard her voice first. She was calling his name.
“Rachel?”
“Cash!” He felt her take his hand in hers.
“What are you doing here? Where am I?”
She didn’t answer him, beginning to pull his hands, wanting him to get to his feet.
“Come on, Cash, you have to leave. You can’t stay here.” She tugged at his hands harder.
Cash attempted to get to his feet, but the sharp pain in his back hurt, forcing him back down.
“Wait. Rachel, it hurts like hell.”
“It’s going to hurt a lot worse if you don’t get up!” Giving in, Cash used what strength he had to get to his feet with her help. As she braced him with her weight, Cash was able to stand—barely—with her support.
“You have to do this, Cash. I can’t hold you much longer. Move!”
Cash placed one foot in front of the other, taking one step after another.
“Where are we going?”
“You’re going back to the life you’ve left behind, Cash. All your friends are waiting for you.” Rachel kept him walking inexorably forward. “See the sun, Cash? Keep moving in that direction.”
With each step, it became easier to walk, but he didn’t take his weight away from Rachel, not wanting her to run away again. Suddenly, he felt a threshold, an invisible line he knew he had to cross.
“Hurry, Cash. I can’t hold you much longer,” she pleaded.
“Are you going to run away again if I go through?”
She remained silent.
“Promise me you’ll stay.”
“Go, Cash!” Her scream hurt his head, but he refused to let her go. He looked down at her face and realized he was hurting her. Straightening up, he took his weight off her, releasing her. She began to waver and dissipate before his eyes.
“Rachel!”
“Go, Cash. You don’t need me anymore.” Her sad eyes weren’t something he would ever forget.
Cash frantically looked around for her, but she was gone; she had run away from him again. Cash took another step toward the light, hoping she would be on the other side.
He opened his eyes, blinking as he attempted to focus his eyes in the bright room. Carefully, he looked around the blindingly white room. It held no trace that she had ever been there, but Cash knew she had. He still felt the tingles of energy on his skin, and the feel of her palm placed directly over his heart.
Chapter 13
“He’s coming home today.” Rachel didn’t look up from watering her plants at Mag’s voice.
“That’s good.” She moved on to the next set of plants, carefully tending the buds just breaking the soil.
“He’s walking.”
“I’m glad.”
“You going to go see him?” Cash’s grandmother wasn’t going to be ignored.
Rachel put down the watering can. “No. I’m sure he’ll have a big enough welcoming committee without me there.”
The old woman gave her a harassed look. “You go from spending every day with him when he’s in the ICU to not seeing him at all for four months. Why?”
“I only stayed with him while he needed my help. He didn’t need me after they moved him to rehab.”
“Girl, he needs you. He has for a long time.”
Rachel laughed. “Cash doesn’t need or want me. I’m just another woman in town who made a fool of herself over him. He’s fine now; he’s walking. Shade told you the doctors are amazed at his recovery.”
“Thanks to you.”
Rachel shook her head. “I didn’t do anything. The only thing I did was nudge him awake. Cash worked his ass off in physical therapy. He refused to come back to the clubhouse because he didn’t want the others to have to help him the way they did Winter. He’s done it all on his own.”
Mag turned her wheelchair around in a sharp turn. “You’re still being pissy because you’re mad at him. I went through the same thing with his father; he always had some woman pissed off at him. Cash is just like his father, Rachel.”
“I know,” she responded, making the old woman suddenly start laughing.
“I’m going to go cook some breakfast. You want anything?”
“No, thanks. If I don’t stop eating your breakfasts, I’ll be the one in the hospital with a coronary.”
“A fried egg never killed anyone.”
“It does when you add a half a pack of bacon, biscuits, and gravy. You use enough lard to sink a boat.”
“A good breakfast keeps you going all day,” she argued.
“Your breakfast will put me in the ER by nine,” Rachel told her as Mag wheeled herself out of the sunroom.
Rachel could only shake her head at the woman who refused to listen to the diet restrictions her doctor had given her. How the woman had lived to be eighty-eight, eating the way she did, was a miracle. Rachel understood the woman loved to cook, but there were healthier versions she could fix besides the cholesterol-loaded food she was determined to get Rachel to eat. If her ass got any bigger, she was going to have to buy Cash’s grandmother new chairs.
The smell of frying bacon teased her nostrils. Rachel was determined to ignore the tantalizing aroma as she continued to work, though. She heard a knock on the door and Cash’s grandmother’s voice as she answered it.
Her next-door neighbor came over every morning to check on her and drink a cup of coffee. Sometimes her son, Jason, would come and check, making sure she didn’t need any work done around the house. Mag told her he used to come over once a week, but now it was almost daily. Rachel was glad she had resisted the lure of breakfast; it would keep her from being trapped in his presence for the next hour.
When the door opened and closed again, Rachel decided to grab a piece of fruit on her way into town to work at the church store.
Going through the house, she stopped at the bathroom to get washed and dressed for work, sliding on a dark navy skirt with a pretty, rose-colored sweater.
Deciding she needed caffeine to face Brooke first thing in the morning, she stopped by the kitchen on the way out the door.
She came to an abrupt stop in the doorway when she saw the room filled with The Last Riders. The small table was filled with them eating the coronary-inducing breakfast she had denied herself. She tried to edge out of the room before anyone saw her.
“Rachel, come on in and fix yourself a plate.” The darn woman had the entire room’s attention on her as she stood in the doorway.
Refusing to make a fool of herself in front of them, she walked farther into the room, going to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup of coffee.
“You going to eat?” Mag demanded.
“Don’t have time. I don’t want to be late opening the store.” Forcing herself to face the man staring her down, she said, “It’s good to see you out of the hospital, Cash.”
“Thanks, Rachel.” His voice had lost none of its
rough timber. His appearance was a shock, but she couldn’t help noticing how well he looked. The only difference was the amount of weight he had lost and the pallor to his skin.
“I better be going; I don’t want to keep the customers waiting.” Rachel didn’t run from the room, exiting calmly without a backward glance. She was proud of the way she had handled seeing him again. She had proven to herself that any feelings she had held for him had died, and she was more than ready to move on with the plans she had for her life.
The door closing behind her was like a chapter closing in her life and a new one starting.
* * *
“That girl is pissed at you.”
Cash made a face at his grandmother’s remark. He didn’t have to be told; the frostbitten glaze had come across in her eyes well enough to tell him that piece of information.
He had been watching the doorway for her and hadn’t expected a tearful reunion, but neither had he been expecting the void of emotion that had been present. He had hoped she would show some emotions when she saw him, yet there had been complete indifference as she’d walked in, just like there had been the last four months of his recovery. It seemed as if she hadn’t cared if he lived or died in that accident.
Cash stared down into the inky darkness of his coffee. “Yeah, she is, but Rachel isn’t the first and certainly won’t the last.” His friends cast him commiserating looks at his grandmother’s barb.
“You were lucky to seduce that girl once; she’s not going to be stupid enough to give you a chance to do it twice.” Mag smiled at him pitilessly. “That girl is done with you. I’ve seen that look too many times on women’s faces when they finally decided they’re done having their hearts stomped on.”
Cash straightened in his chair, wincing at the abrupt movement. “I didn’t stomp on her heart. I embarrassed her and hurt her feelings.”
“You’re sitting in my house, lying, Cash. You’re lying to yourself if you think that girl would have slept with you and not cared about you. You’ve been born and raised in these hills, went to the same church as her. She might not have been expecting a ring from you, but she sure as hell didn’t expect what she got.”