I’d leaned forward just enough to let my lips bump against him in an almost kiss, and his whole body tensed, right down to the fingers in my hair. This time I wrap my hand around the base, and kiss the head again. When I pull away, I let my lower lip drag over his skin, and he hisses out a breath.
Gathering my courage, I say, “It’s not selfish if I want you to take and take and take a little more.”
Chapter 20
Silas
I can’t resist her. I don’t even really try.
It’s probably too fast, too far, too soon, but I want to be honest with her. I want to be able to touch and taste and tease her without holding back or worrying about what she’ll think.
So, I tell her what I want.
“Take your shirt off.”
She sits back on her heels and bats her blue eyes at me while she unbuttons that shirt that’s been driving me crazy all night. Her fingers are too slow, but I don’t reach down to help her. I just watch as inch after inch of perfect skin is revealed. She shrugs it off her shoulders and lets it fall back behind her. She’s wearing this lacy little thing beneath it, and when she lifts it up and over her head, I get my first completely unhindered view of her body. Her chest is small, but it doesn’t even matter. Her rosy nipples are hard and perfect, and I can’t resist touching her.
I drop one hand from her hair to explore all that new skin. While I do, she drags her lips back to my cock. I don’t know what it is, but watching my cock bump against those lips is almost better than an actual blowjob. She looks so innocent, and it feels so damn forbidden, like I’m spoiling her in some way by touching her like that. Like she’s an angel, and I’m the one to make her fall.
“Your shorts, too. Take it all off.”
She stands, and I can’t resist kissing her. I push my tongue past her lips, in and out, fast and hard, mimicking what I want to do to her. The material of her shorts skims my skin as they fall, and she’s back on her knees before I really get a good look at her.
I’m just about to make her stand up again when her lips wrap around me and give a hard suck.
My knees actually go weak at the sight of her. I’ve imagined this so many times, and each touch keeps blowing my imagination out of the water. Her tongue flicks at the sensitive underside, and I have to fight not to pull too hard on her hair.
“That’s it, babe. God, your lips are the most perfect thing in this world.”
She pulls back a little, and then takes more of me inside. Her mouth is hot and wet and so damn good.
I direct her, telling her what to do, when to use her hands and her tongue and when to suck, and she never hesitates. But every once in a while, she does something on her own without me telling her. Just a slight graze of her teeth, a hard squeeze, a hot breath, and the surprise has me battling off the edge already.
She pushes her head down farther, until I feel the tightness at the back of her throat, and then she pulls all the way back, dragging my cock over her lips again. And I know . . . I’m going to remember the way she looks right now for the rest of my life. I will never be able to get this out of my head, and I don’t want to.
“Fucking perfect,” I tell her. “Your mouth is perfect, baby. That’s it. Take me deeper.
She bobs her head again and I’m so close, so damn close. But I want to be inside her when I come for the first time. Because I know that’s another thing I’ll memorize.
I pull her up to her feet and kiss her. Her lips are slick and soft, and again I’m overwhelmed with all the things I want to do to her. I’m terrified that I’ll only have this once, and I’ll regret it if I don’t learn everything I can about her.
Gently, I turn her around and push on her back until her upper body is laid across my bed, her round ass bent over the edge.
I smile because I knew this part of her would be perfect, too. I run a hand over her curves, and with an open palm give her a light tap. She squeaks and grips the comforter beneath her, pulling at the made bed.
“Someday, I’m going to spank your gorgeous ass, Dylan Brenner.”
She looks over her shoulder at me and asks, “Not today?”
I groan because I swear it’s like she’s daring me.
“Not today. Today, I just want to look and touch.”
I take my time with her spread over the bed like that. I alternate between light touches and kneading her skin. I bend over and place a kiss at the bottom of her spine, and she arches up against my mouth. I continue up her back, reaching underneath her to palm her breasts, and when my dick comes in contact with the hot center of her we both gasp. My hips surge forward on instinct, and I graze over her opening, dipping inside just for a moment.
I drop my forehead against her back, overwhelmed with just how fucking good that felt. I wanted to take my time. I had plans for the places I was going to kiss and lick and bite, but her hips lift seeking out mine, and my plan goes out the window.
Condom. I need a fucking condom because I have to be inside her now. I’ll do all those things after, but if I don’t take the edge off, don’t take her I’m going to lose control.
Regretfully, I pull away from her, dragging a hand down her back in goodbye. I pat her ass again because I can’t resist, and say, “Get on the bed, Dylan.”
While she moves, I roll a condom on faster than I ever have. She sits on my bed, one knee pulled up, and the other tucked beneath it. I don’t think she means to, but it hides all my favorite parts of her body.
She looks like she’s been posed just to tease me with almost glimpses.
“I was going to take things slow. Take my time, but we’ll have to do that later. I’m too impatient where you’re concerned.”
I kneel on the bed beside her, and push her knee down, spread her legs open. She lets out a slow breath and stares at the ceiling. She’s nervous, and when I move between her thighs, she keeps right on staring at the ceiling.
“Dylan.” She glances down at me, but she keeps her chin up, like that’s what’s holding her together. “You just have to tell me if you’re not in this. I can be patient. I can slow down. I told you, it’s whatever you want.”
I’m telling the truth. I have to be telling the truth. I said I would give her anything, and I have to hold to that.
“I’m sorry.”
I think my heart might actually collapse, just fall in on itself over and over again like a black hole in my chest that just keeps sucking in more and more and more. And soon there’s not going to be anything of me left.
“Oh God,” she says, her mouth dropping open. She sits up, “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant like . . . I apologize. Not like . . . that I changed my mind. I just wanted you to kiss me, and I thought I was being cute, but oh God, I’m sorry. Please just kiss me and shut me up.”
I’m so relieved I practically fall into her when I do. I burrow my arms beneath her, and wrap her up completely, crushing her naked chest against mine until she’s as close as I can get her.
Her legs cling to my hips, and though I hadn’t planned it, I’m right at her entrance. She moans into my mouth as I kiss her and says, “Now.”
I shake my head, wanting to push her closer to the edge first.
But she’s stubborn and repeats, “Now.” This time she lifts her hips, and I slide against her wet heat, and I swear we’re pulled together like magnets because I’m perfectly aligned.
I’m ready to be just as stubborn back, to tease her, and then pull away only to repeat it all over again. If it were any other time, any other girl, I might have done that. But Dylan lifts her hips again and whispers, “Please.”
And I realize something then and there.
I will never be able to turn this girl down. Whatever she wants from me, it’s hers. No matter what she asks for, I’ll find a way to give it to her. She may not be mine, but somewhere along the way, I ended up hers.
And as I sink inside her, I’ve never been more terrified in my whole life. It reminds me of those moments on the field when
I know a tackle is coming, when I can see the defender out of the corner of my eye or hear him behind me, and I’m bracing for the fall. She’s so tight around me, and her eyes lock with mine, and I’m so fucking gone for this girl. She snuck up on me and laid me out, and I’m not sure how I’ll ever get up from this one.
I’m not sure I even want to.
I kiss her, and I swear my heart is in my throat the whole time. If the world felt big standing on that state championship field in high school, it feels unending now. Every time her mouth opens against mine, there are whole new galaxies, complete universes of thought and feeling pushing their way into my head.
And I was so wrong. Dylan isn’t my next big exit. She isn’t a way out of all the fucked-up stuff in my head and my past.
She’s an entrance. She’s the way into something bigger and better than I could ever have imagined, and for once in my life, I don’t have anything to say. No dirty words to tease her or push her. I don’t need to tell her what I want or ask her to do the same because it’s so good just being inside her that I can’t even think of anything else.
There’s nothing I want more than exactly what I have.
When I pull out and push back inside, her hips rock up to meet me. Her hair is fanned out around her on the bed, and her head tips back, her eyes closed. I repeat the motion, making sure to grind against her so that she feels just as good as I do.
I lose track of time in her. Somewhere along the way, we move under the covers, and she straddles me, rocking against me with her hair swinging like I always wanted. She comes apart hovering above me, and if possible it’s even more gorgeous than the first time I saw her do that.
I flip her under me again and sit back on my heels. I lift her hips up onto the slant of my thighs, and I watch myself entering her. I watch the way her body takes me, and the way she tenses and writhes each time I slide out. I press a thumb to her clit, and she’s so sensitive from her last orgasm that she cries out and jerks against me.
I go slow, gliding my hands lightly over her body, waiting for her to be ready again, and I know she is when she digs her heels into my ass.
I slam into her then, hard and greedy. She stretches her arms above her head, and I follow, lacing our fingers together and pushing her hands down into the mattress.
I’m finally starting to adjust to the way my mind has rearranged itself around her, and now it seems so obvious. This was always going to happen. It’s impossible not to fall for a girl like her. I’m not sure I even know what love is. It’s certainly not a word I have much experience saying, let alone feeling, but I refuse to believe anything could be bigger than this, than the way I feel about her.
“Never,” I tell her. “I’ll never get tired of this. I need you to come for me again, baby. I need to feel you squeeze tight around me. And I need your eyes on mine.”
That’s the first time I’ve ever told a girl what I needed instead of what I wanted. It might be the first time that distinction has ever been important.
But I do need to know that the crazy things happening in my head and heart aren’t all on me. I dip my head and close my lips over a rosy peak, and she arches, her stomach pressed up against mine. I’m going to spend a whole day devoted to her breasts. I want to spend days with every part of her.
I pick up the pace, and every time I push deep, she makes this tiny little sound, her lips curved into a circle. Her nails bite down into the back of my hand, her back arches, and she clenches around me. I lay my forehead against hers, and her breath pants out over my lips as her muscles contract again. Pleasure so strong it’s almost painful tears down my spine, and my vision blurs as I come.
Time seems to stop, and the feeling stretches on for so long that I think I’m dreaming. That it can’t possibly be real, and then her hands are on my face, pulling me down to her lips.
I spend half the night trying to lose and find myself in her all at the same time, and she keeps up with me, matches me kiss for kiss, touch for touch, and I begin to hope.
For the first time in my life, I’m thinking about what comes next, not what’s hot on my heels.
Chapter 21
Silas
I wake to a pounding on my door, and I barely have time to pull a sheet up over Dylan’s naked back before Torres pokes his head through the door.
“Dude, you’re gonna be—whoa. Sorry, man.”
Dylan wakes up and starts to roll over.
“Get the fuck out, Torres.”
He closes the door with a quick snap and then says through the wood, “I was just gonna say that you’ll be late for practice if you don’t get a move on. Zay and I are leaving.”
I look at my alarm clock and curse. I completely forgot to set it last night.
“You’re late?” Dylan asks sleepily.
“Gonna be if I don’t hurry.”
Even so, I lean over and kiss her before I climb out of bed. She rolls over on her side to face me as I pull on a pair of compression shorts. She looks so damn good in my bed, that sheet doing nothing to hide her curves. I’m tempted to say screw practice and stay home with her.
“I’m sorry that I have to leave so fast.”
She yawns and holds up one finger. “I’ll owe you for that apology.”
I don’t realize how nervous I’d been about whether or not this would keep going, until she says those words.
“In that case, I’m very, very sorry. More sorry than I’ve ever been.”
She laughs and ticks off two more fingers before burying her face in my pillow and stretching out her legs.
I finish pulling on the rest of my clothes, keeping an eye on the clock. I grab the last of my things and bend over to trail a hand over her cheek. She blinks up at me, and I’m fairly certain she fell asleep again in the minute since we spoke.
“Stay as long as you want,” I tell her. “No one will be here to bother you.”
“Is this the part where you tell me you’ll call me? And I worry about whether or not you’re telling the truth?”
“Stay here until I get home, and I won’t have to call you. If you still want to be naked, I won’t even complain.”
“You’re going to be late.”
I kiss her again, curling a hand around her backside for a quick stroke.
“Worth it.”
She laughs. “Go.”
“If get laid out today because I’m too busy daydreaming about your mouth, I’ll expect you to nurse me back to health again.”
“Go, or I’m going to lay you out.”
“Sounds fun, but let’s save that for tonight.”
I can still hear her laughing as I jog down the stairs. I don’t even realize I’ve got my athletic shorts on backward until I’m in my truck and pulling out of the driveway.
My head is too full of her to care about anything else.
I HEAD TO Coach’s office without being asked this time. My palms are sweaty, and my neck tight with nerves. Most of the other coaches have already left the office to get last-minute things ready, but Coach Cole is still in his office, on the phone.
His back is to me, and I hear him talking. “We will soon, Annaiss. I promise. She’s finally getting to where she talks to me about things. We haven’t been this good since she was a little kid, and I want to make sure we’re solid before I throw another curveball at her.”
I feel like a dick for interrupting, but if I don’t, there won’t be time to talk to him before practice.
I knock on the doorjamb, and his chair spins. His face is unreadable as he sees me, and he says without reaction into the phone, “I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”
Rumor is Coach is seeing someone, a professor at the university, but Carson and Dallas have both been pretty tight-lipped about it, so I figured it wasn’t true.
Guess I was wrong.
“Morning, Silas. Come in.”
I close the door behind me and take a seat in the same chair where my world had been flipped upside down last week.
“Brookes tells me you had a minor injury.”
Damn it, Zay. I told him to tell Coach that I was working everything out. That didn’t give him license to tell Coach everything I did.
“Just a bit of a sprain, sir.”
As I bounce my knee nervously, I don’t let myself think about the fact that the joint is still tighter than it used to be.
He hums and nods, running a palm over the short beard he has growing in.
“He also tells me it happened while you were doing some sort of community service.”
I sigh. “Something like that.”
Coach stands and takes a seat on the edge of his desk. It puts him looking down at me, which doesn’t help my nerves.
“I’ll admit. That’s not how I expected you to spend your suspension. I think it shows a lot of maturity.”
It feels strange to be praised for something that wasn’t my idea, something I only really did for a girl. And I don’t want to lie to him because I haven’t magically become a model citizen overnight. I’m still the fuckup trying to make it through the day without ruining his life.
“It was a friend’s idea, really.” I trip over the word friend because that word is too damn small for how big Dylan feels to me. “Gave me something to focus on, instead of sitting at home being angry.”
He nods. “That’s good. Really good, son.”
Damn . . . this isn’t going anything like I’d thought it would. I was prepared for Coach to still be mad, for him to send me out to run until I pass out with Oz again.
“Did it help?” he asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. It was something to do.”
“And how is that sprain feeling now?”
He’s asking like he cares, and it freaks me out because I know he does. He does care, and I’ve never had this many people in my life who care about me at once. I’ve never had this many people around for me to disappoint.