Chapter Eleven
The Curator’s Office
“Oh… hello there, Mr. Cragglemeister,” Maria said, as she looked up at him from the floor. She once more employed her formidable smile, displaying her bright, white chompers. “Would you believe that we were looking for the restroom, and we must have, um… got turned around somehow?”
Sara swiveled her head about the room, looking this way and that. “Nope, this surely isn’t it. We must have made a wrong turn some ways back… I suppose we’ll just be on our way, then…”
The sisters began clambering to their feet, dusting off their hands and whistling as they went. But before they could engage in a hasty retreat, Jasper had gathered them up. Even with only one arm available, he proved to be remarkably handy with his mahogany broom, and he performed a sort of sweeping gesture that somehow drew the both of them farther into the office at once.
Maria and Sara found themselves on their feet, but Jasper had managed to maneuver himself between the two of them and the open office door – effectively blocking their means of escape.
“Aw… you got lost, did you?” Jasper asked, in feigned concern. “You just want to be on your way, is that right?”
“Um… yes?” Sara asked, without very much hope.
“You can’t flimflam me!” Jasper bellowed. Reaching out, he slammed the door closed, entrapping the girls in the office with himself and Evelyn. “Sweet sassafras! You must take me for a fiddle-brained fool!”
Maria and Sara did, as a matter of fact, take Jasper for a fiddle-brained fool. If anything, his current bedraggled appearance made him look even more foolish than usual. Yet, they didn’t think it would be particularly wise to point this out to the hulking janitor, for he looked especially enraged at the moment, and he did have them somewhat cornered.
Not to mention, he seemed to have become a bit more unhinged as of late, so it was probably best not to egg him on too much… at least, not until they could escape the confines of the curator’s office.
At this distance, as Jasper towered above, the sisters could smell the strong presence of pine-scented cleaning formula upon him. Jasper sure loved his janitorial supplies. It was quite possible that he used the stuff for aftershave.
“Sir, perhaps we should be getting back to the group,” Maria suggested, in what she thought to be a most helpful and pleasant manner. “Ms. Waffler will be looking for us.”
“Oh, is that right? I somehow find that unlikely. And I don’t see that other pair of irreverent, punk children – those boys that you’re always with. No doubt, you’ve instructed them to cover for your absence,” Jasper said with a dark scowl. Taking in the reactions upon the sisters’ faces, he laughed. “Not quite as clever as you imagine yourselves to be, are you? You can’t fool ol’ Jasper, try as you might!”
From behind her desk, Evelyn could be heard sighing. “Jasper. Pipe down, will you? You’re going to draw unwanted attention. Surely you realize that this isn’t a soundproofed bunker. Not precisely the master of discretion, are you? It’s no wonder Lefty had no problems foiling your espionage attempts for so long.”
Jasper made a squawking noise, and he clutched at his hair in frustration. “Oh, but you don’t know how furious these… these… Beans have made me! Time and time again!” He seemed to once more be on the very cusp of loosing an anatomically improbable stream of steam from the innards of his ears.
Despite their dire circumstances, Maria and Sara could not help but share a giggle at the way Jasper said the word “Beans”… as if it were a curse word that offended him beyond measure. It gave them great satisfaction to see Jasper acknowledge that they were successfully driving him bonkers. The sisters wondered just how red they might be able to make him turn, before sparks started shooting from his orifices.
“You’re doing a surprisingly good job of expressing your displeasure, I assure you,” Evelyn promised him, speaking with a dry wit that seemed to escape her colleague entirely.
“Oh, but they’ve scuffed my floors for the final time, I promise you that,” Jasper growled. “After today… after all our planning and efforts come to fruition…”
“Um, what’s going to happen, exactly?” Maria asked, hoping to catch Jasper off guard and take advantage of his frazzled disposition – and it seemed that her idea worked, for he began to eagerly babble.
“It will be splendid, I assure you!” he exclaimed, seizing his broom with fresh zeal. “It will be the finest hour of the Black Hats, and we will simultaneously exact our vengeance upon you meddling miscreants!”
“Jasper, perhaps you should pull yourself together,” Evelyn suggested. “They’re just children, after all. No need to let them get you so fired up.”
Looking abashed, Jasper replied, “Just children, eh? Well, I warned you that they’re a sneaky lot. You’ve got to watch out, or they’ll try to get you all mixed up!”
“Er, right… I’ll keep that in mind,” Evelyn said, though she seemed far from convinced.
“I was just curious, that’s all,” Maria said with a shrug. “Nobody’s trying to get you mixed up, Mr. Cragglemeister.”
Jasper scowled down at Maria, grinding his teeth in silence for a moment before responding. “I don’t know how you punks bested me last time, even with the aid of my precious Mecha-Machine… but not today, my wee little troublemakers… not today. Today is a day that belongs to the Black Hats, and to the Black Hats only!”
As Jasper ranted and raved, Maria was connecting some dots inside of her head, and she finally drew a correlation about the tattoo she had seen earlier. She turned away from Jasper, spinning to face Evelyn, who sat behind her desk in a high-backed, brown chair with large, brass rivets.
Pointing an accusatory finger at Evelyn, Maria said, “That tattoo I saw on your wrist… I didn’t get a very good look at it during the split second it was exposed. I guessed that it might be a cooking pot, but that wouldn’t make much sense, would it? Nope… it isn’t a pot, is it, Ms. Magellan? It’s a hat. A black hat.”