Chapter Twenty-Three
A Serious Grudge
“Yes, we’ve heard all about this unprecedented cranium of yours,” Maria reminded Ebenezer. “You know you’ve told us all this before, right?”
“It was when we whipped you and Jasper. You remember, right?” Sara prompted, hoping to jog the mad scientist’s memory. “You had that big Mecha-Machine, and you were going on about how you were going to squash us, or smash us to smithereens, or some such nefarious nonsense… but then we sent you packing. You had to flee on your jetpack, ranting about your big plans, and this and that. You do remember that, right? How could you forget all that? It was just a few days ago!”
“Well, he bruised his coconut rather hard when his jetpack crashed,” Maria helpfully pointed out. “Maybe all that stuff was forcefully jostled out of his noggin. He could be suffering from some memory loss, I believe.”
“Hmm… Perhaps he’s repressed it, as the result of some sort of psychological defense mechanism,” Sara theorized, as she tapped at her chin with one finger.
“Insolent children!” Ebenezer squawked. His small hands had clenched into fists, and his face was transforming into an alarming shade of red, possibly foretelling a physiologically improbable eruption of steam from his ears. “I did not ‘bruise my coconut’, as you so disrespectfully suggest – at least, not too badly,” he sheepishly conceded, as he subconsciously ran his fingers through his wild hair, as if testing for tender spots. “And as I recall, you got quite lucky when you managed to attain the upper hand in our last encounter. You remember those events quite differently than I do. And I am the one with the abnormally high functioning cerebral cortex, I might add. So what does that tell you?”
Maria exchanged a blank look with her sister, shrugging her shoulders as they continued slowly shuffling forward. “I don’t know that it should tell us anything, Mr. Widget-Bocker. Other than that maybe your noggin was bumped a bit harder than we thought. Would you like for us to take you to the hospital, sir?”
“Bah!” Ebenezer spat the exclamation from his mouth with disgust, waving his hand dismissively. “In any event, I can certainly assure you that such a bogus outcome will not happen this time! The result will be much more to my liking, than to yours!”
Sara glanced worriedly at her sister and whispered, “Looks like he might be about to blow a gasket.”
“I am about to do no such thing!” Ebenezer squawked. “On the contrary… you are here to witness the dawning of my finest hour!”
“Oh, boy,” Sara said, her eyes rolling. “Here we go.”
“You’ll be singing a different tune soon enough, you meddling middle grader,” Ebenezer promised, emboldened by the comment. He pointed toward the pit, where the petrified dragon lay. “Behold! The unrivaled power of Pan Gu, harnessed by me and none other… the wrath of which shall be directed at all those who oppose me!”
“Slow down there, Mr. Widget-Bocker,” Maria said. She held both hands out, palms forward in a placating gesture, as she continued forward. “Are you sure this is such a good idea? There’s no telling what that ancient beast might do, should you actually manage to wake it up. Ms. Magellan was just telling us that Pan Gu is as violent and unpredictable as a hurricane!”
“I know precisely what I’m doing, which is far more than you can say for yourselves. It was remarkably easy to manipulate you fools, getting you to show up… putting you exactly where I wanted you to be!”
“Meaning?” Sara asked. She was indulging Ebenezer’s ego, encouraging him to tell them more – hopefully granting the sisters the time they needed to gain some sort of advantage.
It was just a matter of keeping the mad scientist talking. They had to keep egging him on, and he would continue babbling, giving them the opportunity they needed to edge ever closer. He was too much of an egomaniac to resist the chance to gloat and flaunt his superior intellect.
“I never forget an insult that has been unduly hurled in my direction. And when the lot of you unruly children… you cursed Beans… showed me such insolent disrespect, I made good note of it in my mind, believe me. When you showed your alliance to that lout, Lefty… oh, I took exception to that, and I marked you as my enemies. Without hesitation, I masterminded a way by which I might work you into my greater plan, so as to put you in your proper place, ensure my vengeance is complete, and put wrongs to right!”
“Are you kidding?” Maria asked. “You do realize that I’m only ten years old, right?”
“I’m sure you wish that I was kidding… but, no!” Ebenezer squawked. “Securing the SunTech power cell from Lefty was always in my plans, as was using it to trigger the awakening of Pan Gu. But the true sign of genius is the ability to innovate on the fly, and I cleverly improvised upon my original designs... simply so that I could ensnare you miserable Beans, and strike down two birds with one stone!”
Ebenezer once more broke into a diabolical cackle, throwing his head back as the laughter was loosed from his lips. As far as the sisters were concerned, this was fantastic, for his momentary distraction allowed them to step closer still, quickening their pace while his gaze was averted.
“Mwa-ha-ha-ha!,” Ebenezer chortled, his shoulders shaking about with demented glee. “I contacted your school’s administrators, and hastily arranged this ludicrous field trip. I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse… To pay for their transportation, and with free admission, to boot! They agreed, of course, and the end result was exactly what I planned upon. Those fools stumbled right into my trap, and they delivered you cursed, meddling Beans directly into my lap! This way, I will be able to not only waken Pan Gu, but also crush those who have wronged me in the past – you. And what better way to test the capabilities of my glorious new pet, than with an immediate field test?”
“You did all that, just to avenge some imaginary slight that we offended you with? We were just defending ourselves, don’t you remember? You were the one who tried to squash us like grapes! And what about all the other schoolchildren who are here?” Sara asked. “What about them? What have they done to incur your misplaced wrath?”
“Bah! This is irrelevant!” Ebenezer argued. “They might be squashed in the process, but they’re guilty by association! Any pipsqueaks who might show up in the same school as you undoubtedly deserve to be likewise crushed! They’re a bunch of miscreants, anyway. Jasper’s always complaining to me of how they scuff his floors and spill their food about, helter-skelter. And I’m sure Jasper can manage to evacuate his own children before any harm befalls them. You underestimate the effectiveness and accuracy of our new weapon!”
“Your logic is incredibly flawed, but I suspect you must already know that,” Maria said with a sigh.
Ebenezer glowered in return, the resentment at this accusation clear upon his face. He could barely comprehend the notion of somebody accusing him of having “flawed logic”.
Before he had a chance to respond, however, his attention was drawn toward the ceiling. Likewise, the gaze of the sisters gravitated upward, though they continued to stealthily move forward, ever closer to Ebenezer.
There was an alarming amount of noise coming from the air ducts that ran parallel to the floor, and Maria and Sara suspected that it could only mean one thing. There were bangs and thwops, as well as intermingled cries of “hickory sticks!” and “confound it!”
Before the eyes of all those in attendance, there was a great crashing and clanging and utter whiz-banging, as the aluminum pieces of ductwork fell apart, induced by the weird strain that was upon them.
Evelyn, who had been struck speechless during this exchange between the sisters and Ebenezer, was compelled to exclaim, “Amerigo Vespucci!”
From above, there fell a foreign object of the oddest variety. It was a broad-shouldered man, clad in overalls and clutching a broom to his barrel chest. The key ring at his waist jangled as he plummeted to the floor, absent of all grace or elegance, further impeded by the restrictions of his incapacitated arm. He groaned on
impact, and slowly shook his bandaged noggin from side to side, as if trying to clear away imaginary stars.
It was, of course, Jasper Cragglemeister, returned from the dusty purgatories he had been banished to. He slowly gained his feet, wobbling about as he sought his balance. Awkwardly holding his broom at a strange angle, he used it to brush away the multitude of spider-webs and dust bunnies that had encrusted his clothing.
The janitor had returned… and there was no doubt that he was bearing a serious grudge against those who had sent him down the chute of the carefully concealed trapdoor.