CHAPTER XIX.
In Neapolis, that Italian city over which the tempest then gathering atByzantium was soon to burst in its first violence, no presentiment ofthe coming danger was felt.
On the charming declivities of Posilippo, or on the shore to thesouth-east of the city, there wandered, day by day, two handsomeyouths, exchanging confidences with all the enthusiasm of youthfulfriendship. They were the "Dioscuri," Julius and Totila.
Oh, happy time! when the uncorrupted soul, breathing the fresh morningair of life, as yet untired and undeceived, and drunk with the ecstasyof ambitious dreams, is urged to impart to an equally young, equallyrich and equally enthusiastic nature its overflowing sentiments!
The noblest resolves are strengthened, and imagination wings its way tothe very gates of heaven, in the happy certainty that he who listenswill understand.
When the wreath upon our brows is faded, and the harvest of our life isripe, we may smile at these dreams of youth and youthful friendship;but it is no smile of mockery; it is tinged with the melancholy withwhich we think of the sweet, exhilarating airs of spring, whileinhaling the breath of decay in autumn.
The young Goth and the young Roman had met at the age most favourableto the formation of the bond of friendship. Totila's sunny soul hadpreserved all the dewy bloom of youth; with smiling eyes he lookedforth into the smiling future. He loved his fellow-creatures, and wonall hearts by his amiability and the joyous frankness of hisdisposition. He believed in the complete victory of good over evil.Where meanness and wickedness met him in his path, he trod them intothe dust with the holy anger of an archangel; from the depths of hisgentle nature the latent heroic strength broke forth, and he did notrest until the hated elements were destroyed. But the disturbance wasforgotten as soon as overcome, and life and the world again appeared tohim as harmonious as his own soul. He walked through the crowdedstreets of Neapolis with a song upon his lips, the idol of the girls,the pride of his brothers in arms.
With such a nature Totila was the favourite of all who knew him,receiving and imparting happiness. Even his quiet friend imbibedsomewhat of the charm of his temperament.
Julius Montanus, of a sensitive and thoughtful disposition, of analmost feminine nature, had been early left an orphan, and, awed by theimmense superiority of his guardian Cethegus, had grown up shy, lonelyand studious. More oppressed than elevated by the cheerless science ofhis time, he was apt; to look upon life as earnest and almost sad. Hewas inclined to subject all things to the severe test of superhumanperfection, and his natural self-distrust might easily have darkenedinto melancholy.
At a happy moment Totila's friendship shone into the inmost depths ofhis heart, and penetrated it with such a sunny warmth that his noblenature was thereby enabled to rise with elasticity from a severe shockwhich it received by means of this very friendship.
Let us hear what he himself wrote about this circumstance to thePrefect.
"To Cethegus the Prefect, Julius Montanus.
"The cold-hearted reply to my enthusiastic report of my newly-formedfriendship to Totila, at first--surely contrary to your wish--hurt mesorely, but later it was the means of enhancing the happiness of thisfriendship in a manner, however, which you could neither foresee norwish. Sorrow caused by you was soon changed into sorrow for _you_.Though at first I felt hurt because you treated my deepest feelingsas the mere enthusiasm of a sickly boy, and tried to assail myprofoundest convictions with bitter mockery--only _tried_, for they areunassailable--this feeling was soon changed into one of compassion foryou. It is sad that a man like you, so rich in intellect, should beso poor in heart. It is sad that you do not know the happiness ofself-denial, or of that unselfish love, which is called in the languageof a belief--more laughed at than credited by you, but to which eachday of pain draws me closer--_caritas_! Forgive the freedom of mywords. I know I have never yet addressed such to you, but I have onlylately become _what_ I am. Perhaps it was not wholly with injusticethat, in your last letter, you blamed the traces of childishness whichyou found in me. I believe that they have disappeared since then, and Ispeak to you now as a _man_. Your 'medicine' has certainly acceleratedmy development, but not in your sense of the word and not according toyour wish. It has brought me pain, holy and refining; it has put myfriendship to a severe test, and, God be thanked, the fire has notdestroyed it, but hardened it for ever. Read on and you will wonder atthe manner in which Heaven has carried out your plans! Though pained atyour letter, I very soon, with my habitual obedience, sought yourfriend, Valerius Procillus, the trader in purple. He had already leftthe town for his charming villa. There I followed him, and found a manof much experience, and a zealous friend of freedom and of his country.His daughter Valeria is a jewel! You prophesied truly. My intention ofbeing extremely reserved melted at her sight like mist before the sun.It seemed to me as if Electra or Cassandra, Cl[oe]lia or Virginia,stood before me! But still more than by her great beauty, I was charmedby the grace of her mind as it unfolded itself before me. Her father atonce invited me to remain as his guest, and under his roof I have spentthe happiest days of my life. Valeria lives in the poetry of theancients. How her melodious voice lent splendour to the choruses ofAEschylus, and melancholy to Antigone's lament! We read together forhours, and when she rose from her chair in her enthusiasm, when herdark hair waved freely over her shoulders and her eyes flashed with analmost unearthly fire, she looked indeed wonderfully beautiful. Hercharacter gains an additional charm from a circumstance which may causeher much future grief, and which runs through her life like a cruelrent. You will guess what I mean, for you know the history of herfamily. You know better than I how it happened that her motherdedicated Valeria at her birth to a lonely virgin life, passed in worksof piety, but that her rich father, more worldly than heavenly-minded,bought her release from this vow at the cost of a church and acloister. But Valeria believes that Heaven will not accept dead goldfor a living soul; she does not feel released from this vow, of whichshe thinks not with love but with fear. For you were right when youwrote that she is a true child of the ancient heathen world. Not onlythat, but she is the true child of her father, yet still she cannotaltogether renounce the pious Christianity of her mother; it liveswithin her, not as a blessing, but as an overpowering curse; as theinevitable fetter of that fatal vow. This strange conflict of feelingtortures her, but it ennobles her also. Who knows how the struggle willbe ended? Heaven alone which will decide her fate. This inward strifeattracts me. You know that Christian faith and atheistic philosophystruggle for the victory in my soul. To my astonishment, faith hasincreased during these days of sorrow, and it almost seems to me thathappiness leads to heathen wisdom, and pain and misfortune to Christ.But you have still to learn the cause of my suffering. When I became atfirst aware of my growing passion, I was full of joyful hope. Valerius,perhaps already influenced by you, observed my attention to Valeriawith no dislike; perhaps the only thing he disapproved in me was, thatI did not sufficiently share in his dreams of a renewed Roman Republic,or his in hatred of the Byzantines; in whom he sees the deadly enemies,not only of his family, but of Italy. Valeria, too, soon bestowed herfriendship upon me, and who knows if at that time this friendship andher reverence to her father's wishes would not have sufficed to induceher to accept my love. But I thank--shall I say God or Fate?--that thisdid not happen. To sacrifice Valeria to a married life of indifferencewould have been a sacrilege. I do not know what strange feelingprevented me from speaking the word, which, at that time, would havemade her mine. I loved her deeply; but each time that I was about totake courage and sue to her father for her hand, a feeling crept overme as if I were trespassing on another's property; as if I were notworthy of her, or not intended for her; and I was silent and controlledmy beating heart. One day, at the sixth hour--it was sultry and the sunscorched both land and sea--I went to seek coolness and shade in thegrotto of the garden. I entered through the oleander-bushes. ThereValeria reposed upon a soft, mossy bank, one hand resting upon
hergently-heaving bosom, the other placed beneath her head, which wasstill crowned with a wreath of asphodels worn during the evening meal.I stood before her trembling; she had never looked so lovely. I bentover her, lost in admiration; my heart beat quickly. I bent stilllower, and would have kissed her delicate rosy mouth, but all at once athought oppressed me: what you are about to do is a robbery! Totila! mywhole soul cried within me, and as gently as I had come I left her.Totila! why had I never thought of him before? I reproached myself forhaving almost forgotten the brother of my heart in my new happiness.The next day I returned to Neapolis to fetch him. I praised the beautyof the maiden, but I could not prevail on myself to tell him of mylove. I preferred that he should come and find it out for himself. Onour arrival at the villa we did not find Valeria in the house. So I ledTotila into the garden--Valeria is passionately fond of flowers--and aswe issued from an avenue, she appeared before us in all her dazzlingbeauty. She was standing before a statue of her father and crowning itwith freshly-plucked roses, which she held heaped up in a fold of hertunic.
"It was a surprisingly beautiful picture--this lovely girl, framed inthe dark green of the taxus-bushes, her right hand uplifted to thewhite marble statue, the other pressing the corner of her robe to herbosom--and the effect upon Totila was overpowering. With a cry ofastonishment, he remained rooted to the ground before her. She lookedup and started. The roses fell from her dress to the ground; she didnot notice it. Their eyes had met, and her cheeks were covered withblushes. At a glance I saw that her and my fate was decided. They lovedeach other at first sight! This certainly pierced my soul like aburning arrow. But only for a moment did I feel this unmixed pain. Thenext, as I looked at the two, I felt unselfishly glad that they hadfound each other; for it seemed as if the Power which creates the soulsand bodies of mortals, had formed them of one material for each other.They belonged to each other, like morning sunshine and morning flowers.Now I knew what mysterious feeling had kept me apart from Valeria, andcaused me to pronounce his name. By the wisdom of God, or in the courseof the stars, it had been decided that Valeria should be Totila's, andthat I should not step in between them.
"Permit me to leave the rest untold; for my nature is still so selfish,the holy precept of self-denial has still so little power over me,that--I am ashamed to confess it--my heart often fails me, instead ofbeating with happiness at the good fortune of my friends. As two flamesmingle inseparably together, so their hearts were united. They loveeach other, and are as happy as the immortal gods. To me remains thejoy of witnessing their bliss, and helping them to conceal it from theeyes of their father, who will scarcely give his child to the barbarianas long as he sees in Totila _only_ the barbarian. But I keep my loveand its sacrificial death a secret from my friend; he does not guess,nor shall he ever learn, that which would only disturb his happiness.You see now, Cethegus, how far from your aim a god has turned yourplan. You would have given to me this jewel of Italy, and instead it islaid at Totila's feet. You would have destroyed my friendship, andhave, instead, freed it, in the furnace of self-immolation, from allearthly dross, and made it immortal. You would have made me a manthrough the joy of love, and I have become a man through love's pain.Farewell, and revere the guidance of Heaven!"