‘it’ll do you just great when I’m gone.’
Just to redress the balance…
Indecision
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
Why must you change your mind?
It’s not my fault
If the dress you bought
Makes you look like you’re all behind.
Weird…but strangely true.
Déjà vu
History repeats itself. It seems this may be true.
How often have we first arrived, yet recognised the view?
You know what someone’s saying next, you’ve heard it all before
You know when someone’s coming home, the pets are at the door.
D’you ever find it’s on your mind to ring a distant friend
And as you pick it up to dial, they’re on the other end?
D’you ever start to sing a song (not bothering to think)
And when you turn the radio on, you’re perfectly in sync?
Don’t show me what life has in store, so I can take a peek
Don’t say you’ve read this rhyme before, I’m writing it next week
I’m pretty sure we’ll meet once more (I hope this reassures)
You’ll recognise the name of course. Oh, sorry, is it yours?
One thing that I would mention, friend, as yet again I pack
Should I return to pastures new and meet you coming back
And should I see a stranger’s face that gives me cause to worry
The day that stranger’s face is mine, I’m leaving in a hurry!
Ah…promises, promises…
Spring Fever
So Election Time is here
Smiling faces so sincere
With a manifesto promise from the heart
If you dare to close your eyes
Or the candidates swop ties
Could you still be sure of telling them apart?
Don’t you just wish you’d kept those 70’s clothes…
Full Circle
‘Where on earth did you get it?’ my granddaughter squealed,
‘I’ve been looking for something like this!
The shoulders are heaven, the newest thing out!
Can I borrow it, Nan? It’s just bliss.’
‘The colour’s to die for, and look at the line
And a peplum? Nan, they’re all the rage.’
What comes around, goes around, sweetheart,’ I said,
‘I bought it when I was your age.’
Retirement. Dictionary definition: the act of retiring from one’s work. So why do I feel so guilty?
A Cog in a Wheel
If I want, I can lie in bed today
And do nothing from nine till five
If I want, all I really need to do
Is check if I’m still alive.
I’m retired, you see, since yesterday
No longer a cog in a wheel
I’m retired, and if I feel that way
I don’t have to do a great deal.
Not that I’ll lounge; I’ll keep busy of course
There’ll be none of this sitting around
I’ll now have the time to catch up on some things
And do all the jobs that I’ve found.
A month’s gone by and I’m ready to go
I’m into a routine at last
I’ve allowed myself a bit of a break
As I worked all those hours in the past.
My goodness, I’ve floated through several months
I’m free now, and having such fun
Is it Wednesday today? You’re sure it’s May?
The days have all merged into one.
Ok, sorted it now. I find time for both
And my conscience can go take a hike
I keep myself fit, and work just a bit
And do everything else when I like.
You think parents would know, wouldn’t you?
Oh no…don’t spoil it for them…
The Magic of Christmas
I’ve written a letter to Santa
Though I feel a bit daft now I’m eight
Mum’s sorted a carrot for Rudolph
Dad’s put two mince pies on a plate.
They say he won’t come till we’re sleeping
You’d think at their age they would know
There’s no point in lying there, peeping
For someone who’s not going to show.
Still, Nan says it keeps Mum and Dad happy
So I’m doing my best to pretend
It’s OK by me if it fills them with glee
If I get lots of gifts at the end.
You can’t trust anyone these days…
Strife on the Ocean Wave
(with apologies to Edward Lear)
The Owl took the Pussycat out to sea
Against his best friend’s advice
‘You’re such a delectable thing,’ said he
‘Perhaps a sail in my boat would be nice.’
The Owl looked up at the moon above
And thought about something to eat
‘I’m afraid I’ve forgotten the hamper,’ he said,
‘and I’d packed some nice mice as a treat.’
‘Not a problem,’ she purred, ‘you’re quite a plump bird.’
And she seized the old Owl by the throat
A short battle ensued, then the Owl ate his food
In his beautiful pea-green boat.
What? There are some big owls out there…
Odds and Ends
These are worth a groan or two. I guess after all these poems, my brain’s a bit scrambled…
Eggs-actly
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
T’was easy to see the reason why
He’d bought the wall from MFI.
Or what about…
Grate Expectations
Little Polly Flinders
Sat among the cinders
Spoiling her nice new dress
‘Oh, what the hell,’ she thought
‘Replacements can be bought
Now I’ve borrowed Dad’s American Express.’
Or maybe this…
Nutcase
I had a little nut tree
Nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg
And a golden pear
I took them to the kitchen
And gently broke the news
‘Forget the walnut cake, love,
we’re going on a cruise!’
Perhaps…
Cowboy Builder
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Wrapped in a cosy quilt
P’raps he should ring his mate
And get a firm date
For the rest of the house to be built?
And, of course, there’s always…
Two little dicky-birds sitting on a wall
One named Peter, one named Paul
They found the singing rather scary
Until they met their sister, Mary.
And finally…
Silence is Golden
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Bakers man
Give me four of those biscuits as fast as you can
I’ve two screaming toddlers
Two more under five
And keeping them busy will help me survive
Though I may still break down
Before I leave town
At least it will give me some peace while I drive.
I heard you singing…
Kids Corner
Better out than in…
Bottom-Burps
Mum says I mustn’t bottom-burp
So I’m trying to hold it in
Coz Great Aunt Emma’s coming round
And she doesn’t like a din.
I bottom-burped at school today
And Miss began to shout,
‘If that’s you, Tommy Muggins,
&n
bsp; I think you’d best go out.’
Of course, I look real cool at break
With all the other boys
We all try bottom-burping
To see who can make most noise.
I bottom-burped at Nan’s once
And she said, ‘That’s not quite nice.’
But then I was in the garden
And Grandad did it twice!
My Mum does bottom-burping, too
Though she hides it with a cough
And Baby Amy does it lots
But she never gets told off.
But Dad’s my superhero
He can bottom-burp a song
And Mum and Nan have to leave the room
Coz they just can’t stand the pong.
Expect you know someone like this, don’t you. Tell you what, let’s keep it our little secret, shall we?
My Grandma Has a Funny Neck
My Grandma has a funny neck
It’s droopy, with a line
I’ve looked at it when I’m on her lap
And it’s not the same as mine.
Mum says I mustn’t mention it
But whenever I get a hug
It dangles in my face a bit
So I give it a little tug.
My other Gran’s chin has a hair on it
I think she ought to know
But Mum says I mustn’t tell her
So I sit and watch it grow.
My Grandad’s tummy wobbles
Mum says I mustn’t look
But I try to have a bounce on it
Whenever we read a book.
Eww…if you are asked to tea with the Queen of Hearts, don’t eat the jam tarts.
The Queen of Hearts
The Queen of Hearts
She made some tarts
Her first attempt at cooking.
Said the knave, ‘Don’t eat those, she’s been picking her nose.’
Said the Queen, ‘What a shame you were looking.’
Honestly, Bo Peep, are you surprised? We all know it’s much more fun than sitting in a wet field.
Can you guess what game it was playing? Love to hear your answers.
Little Bo Peep
Little Bo Peep
Did a count of her sheep
And discovered she had one less.
She found it much later
By a hot radiator
Playing her new DS.
Who knows...
I think my Dad is Spiderman
I think my Dad is Spiderman
Coz his shirt and socks are red
And he keeps some blue check trousers
In a box beneath the bed.
He probably jams the door with a spider web
In case Mum locks him out
Then he waits until we’re all asleep
And he climbs and swings about.
I’m not going to tell if I see him
While he’s out fighting baddies n’that
I saw something zoom by, like a streak in the sky
And Mum says it’s only a bat...
But I know my Dad’s Spiderman.
Come on, Acorn United!
Goal!
There’s a squirrel at the bottom of my garden
And he’s starting up a football team
I’ve seen him make two piles of twigs for goalposts
And he’s left a little goal between.
I’ve seen four other squirrels rushing round it
So it’s probably only five-a-side
And I think they’ve asked our cat to be the referee
To make sure nothing’s taken wide.
They’ll need some football boots to play it properly
And some tiny little shirts that fit
My sister’s really good at doing loom bands
So I’ll ask if she can make their kit.
I’m not sure who they’re playing here tomorrow
But the hedgehogs look the team to beat
And as the pitch is right beneath my window
I’m going to have a brilliant seat!
G-O-A-L!!
Thank you for reading books on BookFrom.Net Share this book with friends