“Yes.” She traced his torso, down his rib cage, to his hips. “You’re huge.”
He barked out a laugh. Cute. Smart, sweet, and cute. “I’m not a good guy, sweetheart.” Where the warning came from, he’d never know.
She lifted her head and licked across his lips.
Fire rushed down his torso to land in his balls.
“You’re better than you believe, Raze Shadow. Trust me.” She wiggled her ass just enough to shoot sparks up his spine.
He moved then, pulling out to the tip and then shoving back inside.
Her head dropped to the pillow. “I figured we’d be like this. More than just, well, this.”
Yeah. He got that. But he didn’t want to understand her, and not just because she was a little crazy. The more he knew her, the better he understood her, the more he wanted her beneath him longer than just this one night. She was wounded and she was vulnerable. Everything in him craved to make her right. To protect her from the world out there, and shit, that didn’t make a lick of sense.
Her nails dug into his flesh. “Now who’s thinking too hard?”
He nodded. “Good point.” He pulled out and thrust back where he wanted to be forever.
“More.”
That he could give her. Reaching beneath her, he grabbed her ass and lifted her into him. She moaned and tightened around him. He pulled out and sank into her, pounding hard, keeping control until he felt her tense beneath him. Her body trembled and her thighs slapped against his hips.
Her eyes shut as she went over, her soft cry of ecstasy burning into his heart. The waves pummeled around his dick, sending him over the edge. He gave one last, hard, complete thrust, burying himself as deep as he could. The orgasm rushed down his spine and exploded inside him, shattering every thought he’d ever had.
Finally, he regained some sense of control and opened his eyes. Emotion washed through him, and he batted back any feelings he didn’t want. Even so, he couldn’t help but grin. “So that’s how to get you to stop talking.”
She snorted a laugh, delight crossing her face. “I guess so. Think you can do it again?”
Perfect. Damn, if the petite woman wasn’t too perfect. He studied her contented face. What the hell was he going to do now?
She snuggled against him, apparently not giving a shit that he was still inside her. “Raze,” she murmured sleepily, her eyelids closing. “I’m glad I found you.”
The sweet words held truth and no coyness. With them, she pretty much reached in his chest and manacled his heart.
When he’d first seen her, she’d worn a ripped and dirty pencil skirt with a white blouse, and she’d been shackled to a wall. Bruises had matted her face, and her hair had been a wild mess. She’d been smacked around and injected with drugs that had altered her very reality. Yet pure defiance and raw intelligence had glowed in her stunning eyes. Spirit and heart . . . that was Vinnie. That day she’d impressed him.
Now, all sweet and trusting beneath him, she claimed him.
He slapped his hand against the wall to shove them both down the bed a little.
The woman didn’t even stir, trusting him completely.
Now what the hell was he going to do?
Jax tried to keep his gaze stoic as Tace threw down a card on the cracked table in Jax’s apartment. He drew in a breath. The smell of cheap booze competed with the scent of lavender in the spartan room. Where the hell Lynne had found dried lavender to put in a bowl, he’d never know. His place now had girlie items like bowls of purple stuff, and he’d never admit how much he liked having her touches all around him. At least not to Tace. Lynne already read him like a worn journal.
A woman’s cry came through the walls.
“Jesus.” Tace reached for a glass of rotgut whiskey and shifted in his seat. “We should’ve played gin downstairs in the offices.”
“I didn’t know Raze and Vinnie were going to go at it like fuckin’ rabbits.” Jax picked up a ten and discarded a three of clubs, trying to tune them out. “I wouldn’t have figured her for a screamer.”
“Me either.” Tace took the three and studied his hand. “I’m surprised Shadow is strong enough to make it happen after just awakening from the fever. Scorpius is a bitch.”
“He’ll drop again.” Jax poured more of the booze. They were almost out of their secret stash; it was time to go raiding again. “Don’t you remember?”
“Not really,” Tace said, discarding a two.
Jax reached for the pile. “I do. It was a shitty series of feeling better, dropping from exhaustion, and then feeling better before dropping again. Totally sucked.” He discarded a seven. “How are you feeling, anyway?”
“Cold. Not crazy and not mean, but cold.” Tace took the seven. “Gin.” He kicked back in his chair.
“Shit.” Jax tossed his cards down. “You just got better. Give it time, and your brain will return to normal.” Maybe. Who knew? “Just let me know if you feel homicidal.”
Tace shrugged. “I don’t really feel any way, so maybe that’s good.”
The door opened, and Lynne slid inside. Dark circles marred the hollows beneath her eyes, and her pale skin seemed nearly luminous in the soft lantern light.
Jax frowned. He’d told her to get some rest early this afternoon, and of course, she’d ignored him. Several of the most dangerous men still alive followed his orders without question, yet the pretty scientist had no problem defying him. He kinda liked that about her, but he couldn’t allow her to become ill. If he had to shackle her to the bed to get her to sleep, he would. The idea hardened his groin.
“What are you grinning at?” Lynne asked.
He kept her gaze and didn’t answer.
She shuffled her feet. “Something about that look worries me.”
Smart girl.
“You look exhausted,” Tace said, shoving to his feet.
Lynne nodded. “A raiding party found a Scorpius research lab on the north side that had been making dental molds and retainers before being turned into a lab.”
Tace shook his head. “The government used every lab available when things got bad. We have to give them that much.”
“They didn’t do enough.” Jax motioned to Lynne. “Come have a drink.”
Her eyes lit up, and she walked past Tace to accept a tumbler.
A man’s groan echoed through the flimsy walls.
Her face turned pink. “Raze and Vinnie?”
Another sigh, and something loud banged against the wall. Jax nodded, amused at her pretty blush. After the things he’d done to her in bed, ones she’d enjoyed, it was a sweet surprise to see her embarrassment. “I think Raze and Vinnie are getting acquainted.”
Lynne tipped back the drink. “Good. That’s good. Connections are what keep us together as a society.”
Her cultured and educated tone shot straight south through Jax’s body to land hard in his balls. They drew up tight, and his zipper cut into his dick. “Why don’t you come closer and connect with me?” he rumbled.
Tace turned and headed for the door. “That’s my cue. Night, folks.”
Jax grabbed Lynne and tumbled her down onto his lap. “Tace? Check on Sami, would you? She’s been out of sight too often lately.” His young lieutenant had attended every mandatory meeting, but when she wasn’t on patrol, she’d been somewhere else. He hadn’t had a chance to question her after dealing with Lighton earlier.
“She’s hiding out. In fact, she’s hiding a whole lot.” Tace partially turned. “At first I didn’t care, but now I’m thinking she’s a mystery I need to solve.”
“Good. Solve her.” Jax waited until Tace nodded and had disappeared into the hallway.
Lynne pushed both hands through his hair. “Now aren’t you glad you didn’t kill Raze?”
“No, but I’m glad I have time to figure out his angle,” Jax said, his gaze dropping to her inviting mouth. “I thought I told you to get some rest.”
“Did you?” She stretched against him with a
soft purr. “I must not have heard you.”
He scoffed. “Funny.”
Another grunt, this one deep, announced the couple in the other room was close to the finish line.
Lynne chuckled and buried her face in Jax’s neck. “This is good.”
Jax rubbed her back. “Maybe.”
“You can trust Raze.”
“Love all but trust a few,” Jax murmured.
She snuggled closer. “Shakespeare?”
“Yeah.” It had been a while since he’d quoted Shakespeare to her. In fact, it had been a while since he’d pulled out a quotation for a moment, something he used to do a lot.
Lynne tugged down his shirt and kissed his Vanguard tattoo. “I want one of these.”
“You got it.” The idea of marking her in such a way tightened his entire body. But first, they had to be on the same page about Vanguard in general. “If I have to take care of Raze, then Vinnie’s not gonna like it, and I need her cooperation.”
Lynne sighed against his jugular. “Come up with a better plan. Figure Raze out, help him, and then we all live happily ever after.”
Jax lifted her and turned for the bed. “At this point, I’m just glad we’re all still living.”
A crash banged against the wall. Jesus. Those two might kill each other, and then he wouldn’t have to worry about it, anyway.
Chapter Fifteen
Everything on earth can be explained in terms of atoms and matter . . . except love.
—Dr. Franklin X. Harmony, Philosophies
Vinnie awoke slowly, wrapped safely in warmth. Her eyelids slid open. Cracked ceiling, moldy smell, cold air. Oh. For the slightest of moments, she’d forgotten about Scorpius and the world pretty much ending. She stretched and caught herself. Whoa. Little aches and pains flared to life in unexpected places.
She smiled.
Then she stilled at finding Raze Shadow sitting across the room on the sofa, watching her. He’d pulled on a fresh-looking pair of dark jeans and a white T-shirt that clearly emphasized the muscles in his chest and arms. “Morning.” He didn’t smile.
She sat up and tucked the sheet around her. “Hi.” Her gaze barely met his, so she focused on his chin. What she wouldn’t give to see that dimple of his again. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.”
Ah. “Headache?”
“No.” The pinched skin around his eyes proclaimed that a clear lie.
“Muscle weakness?” she asked, her heart kicking strongly into gear. Her hands fluttered around the blankets.
“Nope.”
She breathed in and lifted her gaze. “Say what you need to say, Shadow.”
His chin lowered. “Excuse me?”
She faltered. This wasn’t how a morning after went, now was it? She’d never had a casual affair. Either he needed to crawl back in bed and vow his eternal love, or he needed to run out the door and avoid her like the rogue he was. But sitting there and watching her so calmly? Um, no. “You’re freaking me out.”
His lips came together, and a frown drew down his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Because you’re just sitting there.” Realization slapped her in the face. Oh. Maybe she was the one who was supposed to leave. It was his place. Heat spread from her chest into her face. “Um, give me a few minutes and I’ll get out of your hair.” He wouldn’t try to watch her dress, would he? She wasn’t even sure where she’d put her underwear. God, this was excruciating.
Lucinda hovered outside the defunct refrigerator, her white hair glowing. “I told you this would be a mistake.”
Vinnie looked up at the ceiling. Her stepmother was not there. She was not.
“Stop ignoring me. You made a mistake. Now tell him it’s over,” Lucinda snapped.
“He already knows that,” Vinnie whispered.
Raze cleared his throat. “What?”
“Nothing.” Now she was talking to her hallucinations in front of Raze. “That was fun—last night, I mean—but today it’s daytime, and let’s forget it.” She lowered her gaze to meet his and ignored the sight of Lucinda doing the cha-cha by the counter. “I’m seeing things, and I’m hearing things, and you know this was a mistake. Nobody else knows, so let’s just pretend it didn’t happen. I’ll try to find a different place to stay, and if there isn’t one in headquarters, I’ll go back to my apartment. I actually didn’t mind—”
He launched himself off the sofa and reached her in two long strides, lifting her, sheet and all.
“Eek,” she murmured as he turned and sat with her in his lap. “Um—”
“I’m not sorry it happened,” he rumbled, his breath brushing her hair.
She blinked up at him, her traitorous body snuggling right in. “Yes, you are.”
He frowned again, giving him the look of a pissed-off warrior. “Last night doesn’t change anything, but I’m not sorry it happened.”
What in the world did that mean? Her ears rang. “Well, it changes things a little. We’ve seen each other naked. Although we could pretend we haven’t, we have, and I think that’s the very definition of change. I’m not—”
“Vinnie.”
She gulped in air. “There was a time I was almost laconic. I mean, I’d watch everything and everyone before making a sound. Methodical, you know? I liked to—”
“Vinnie.” His dimple winked again.
Fascinating. Totally fascinating. That dimple grounded her and gave her something to hold on to. Not many people had seen it, probably. “You’re patient.” Man, he held an abundance of patience and understanding.
“Yes. It helps when stalking prey.” The dimple deepened. “I don’t mind you talking, but sometimes you forget to breathe, and I’d rather you didn’t pass out right now.”
“I didn’t used to babble,” she whispered. When would her brain return to normal?
“Never,” Lucinda said, stomping bright red boots toward the door as Vinnie followed with her gaze. “I give up. You’re on your own.” Lucinda wisped out of sight.
Raze tightened his hold. “What are you looking at?”
Vinnie turned back from the door. “A hallucination.”
His frown flattened out and curved into a grin. “Oh.” He caressed the nape of her neck. “Is he better looking than me?”
“Nobody is better looking than you.” A blush warmed her cheekbones. “I mean—”
“Let’s leave it at that. Who are you seeing? And talking to?”
“My stepmother, Lucinda.” Vinnie sighed. “Before she died, we got along okay but weren’t really close. Now she won’t leave me alone.”
Raze leaned in and rubbed his chin on top of her head. “Maybe your brain is trying to tell you something.”
Yeah. To run like hell from the deadly soldier. “Perhaps, or maybe I’m just crazy. The drugs could’ve easily damaged my brain, which could lead to all sorts of disorders, including schizophrenia.” As he rubbed her head, she relaxed into his hard chest. “I guess it could take a while for the drugs to completely leave my system.”
“Let’s go with the positive thought.” Raze levered back and then swooped in, kissing her.
Tingles exploded down her body, and she kissed him back. Her body flushed, and her mind spun. Finally, he set her gently on the bed and stood. “I need to go figure some things out. What’s your plan today?”
Pleasure tickled through her. They were sharing their days. Like a couple. “I’m starting work today as a counselor.” In fact, she needed to get a move on.
He nodded and then paled.
She stood and inched toward him.
He swayed. “Shit.”
She jumped out of bed and slid a shoulder beneath his arm. Yep. Scorpius sucked. “Not so tough now, are you?”
“No.” He shut his eyes.
She helped him back to the bed. “You did just come out of the most dangerous infection to ever plague humans.” How weak was he? God. Had she just totally taken advantage of an invalid? He sure hadn’t felt ill when he’d been h
ammering inside her.
He lay down and took several deep breaths. “I’m fine. Just not quite at full strength.”
Then they had to have sex when he was at 100 percent, because Raze at half strength had been freaking amazing. She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts and leaned over to feel his forehead. Perfectly cool. “You probably just need some soup. If I remember right—to be honest, I don’t remember everything—it took about a week for me to get my strength back after Scorpius. Maybe it was two weeks. I’m not—”
“Vinnie.”
She pressed her lips together. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Don’t be sorry.” He pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead. “Fuck. When does the headache go away?”
She tugged the loose blanket up and over his chest. “Not sure. It’s different for everyone, and most survivors get migraines once in a while.” She’d wanted to cut her head off during the last one. “They’re not that bad. You’ll be fine.”
“I’d kill for an aspirin.”
This was the first time Raze had allowed her to see any vulnerability in him. Her heart warmed, and she moved closer to him. The fever had shaken him, but soon he’d have all his defenses shored up again. “What’s your real name?”
“Raze.” His hand dropped to the covers.
She’d help him whether he liked it or not, but she needed something. A small token to show that she mattered. That she was special to him. How pitiful was that? “Come on. Won’t you tell me?”
His lips twitched. “On the lives of my ancestors, my name really is Raze. My dad’s name was Ryan.”
“Um, okay.”
My mom had three great-uncles who helped to raise her way back when. Albert, Zeke, and Elton.”
Humor bubbled up through Vinnie. “Raze. She combined their first names to create yours.”
“Yes. In the military it turned out I was pretty good with a blade, so some rumor got started that Raze was a nickname for Razor, which it wasn’t.”
She smiled. “I won’t tell anybody, I promise.”
“I know.” With that small movement toward trust, Raze Shadow dropped into sleep.