He paused. Oh. Shit. He mentally debated with himself for all of two seconds before twisting the knob to the right. Unlocked. The woman hadn’t even locked the door.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside and closed the door, waiting until his eyes adjusted before walking around the dented coffee table to the bed. The scent of calla lilies filled the room. Weak moonlight filtered through dusty blinds, assisting him.
Bedclothes tangled around Vinnie’s moving legs as she fought the nightmare, her hands striking out in the air. Her blonde hair was splayed over the pillows, twisting along with her head. She mumbled something, and even several feet away Raze could see tears glistening on her smooth skin.
He reached her and sat on the bed, taking a firm grasp of her arms. “Vinnie.”
She lurched up with a sharp scream.
He grabbed her close, tucking her into his warmth and putting his mouth to her ear. “You’re safe.”
The two words, spoken with soft certainty, stopped her movements.
“I’ve got you and nobody is gonna hurt you,” he continued, keeping his voice level, trying not to notice how soft her skin was beneath his palms. “Take a deep breath.”
She obeyed instantly, drawing in a shaky breath and letting it out. Her entire body shuddered, but she didn’t move closer. God, she was small. Her head remained down, nearly touching his chest, and she didn’t look up. The sob that escaped her next ripped through his heart.
He knew what she needed.
Without question, he could help her. He fought himself, and she didn’t move. He didn’t know her, not really—he had no right to try to comfort her. With what he had planned for her, whether he had a choice or not, he had no right to help her now.
She sobbed again.
Ah, hell.
He picked her right up, covers and all, and set her in his lap. Cupping the back of her head, he pressed her face into his T-shirt. “You’re safe,” he whispered, tightening his hold.
She broke.
Sobbing, barely coherent words bursting from her, she cried against his neck. “Drugs, and faces, and people. Dead. Hear thoughts. Going crazy.”
Some of the words he could make out, but many were just burbles. Most people, when they lost it to pain or fear, just cried. Not Vinnie Wellington. No, she let loose with tons of words, crying and talking intermittently.
The woman couldn’t even cry like a normal person.
Why the hell that warmed his chest and tickled his mouth into a small smile, he’d never understand.
Yet he gathered her closer and rubbed her back with his free hand, murmuring platitudes and agreement.
She probably was going crazy.
That was okay. There were worse things to be. Like a lying, conniving, backstabbing bastard like him. Yeah. Crazy was a lot better than evil.
Finally, she wound down.
He patted her back, careful to keep the movement light. Her bones were so small and fragile. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head against him.
He grinned. “Sometimes it helps.”
“None of it makes sense,” she mumbled, her mouth against the skin above his shirt.
He bit back a groan of pleasure. Her lips were usually pink and full, and he’d had more than one unwelcome fantasy of her using them on him. “Nightmares rarely do.”
She drew in air, and her breath heated his neck. “I keep having dark flashes of my time in captivity, and then ghosts talk to me. They’re everywhere, but they’re not real.”
He rubbed circles between her shoulder blades. “You see the ghosts?”
“No. I think I see people who aren’t there, but they’re not ghosts. In hallucinations, I hear their thoughts and feel their pain,” she whispered.
“That’s just a nightmare, sweetheart.” After her time of being held captive and then injected with truth serums, she could probably be diagnosed with PTSD. Heck, anybody who’d survived the last six months on earth could be. “What would you tell a patient?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Come on. If you were a patient, what would you say?” He increased the pressure of his massage and she leaned into him with a soft groan.
The sound shot straight to his cock.
“To take it easy and let the mind do its job.” She rubbed her nose against his collarbone.
Pleasure relaxed his usually tense muscles. “Good.” His voice cracked. He cleared it. “Let your brain work out the problem whatever way it needs to so you get better. You’ll be okay.”
She lifted up, finally, to face him. “You’re kind of bossy.”
He bit back a smile. “I’m sorry.”
A cute, very cute wrinkle marred her forehead. “I kind of like it.” The wrinkle turned into a frown.
Shit. That was a hell of an opening, but he couldn’t take it. Not a chance. Even so, his gaze dropped to her pink lips.
“You can’t kiss me,” she blurted out.
He stiffened and then drew back. Of course he couldn’t. What kind of asshole would take advantage of a woman at her most vulnerable? “I know.”
She shook her head. “I’ve had the infection. You haven’t. The bacterium lives in saliva as well as other fluids in the body.”
He’d forgotten. For a moment, with her in his arms, he’d actually forgotten Scorpius. “Yes, I know, Vinnie.” He tried to cover for himself, even as his mind spun out of control. He was trained and he was dangerous. Yet two seconds with this woman and he’d forgotten everything but the way she smelled and felt.
“Good.” She relaxed. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. Ever.”
Her words were always so honest, which made her vulnerable. Way too vulnerable. “You’re so fucking soft.” The words burst from him without thought. “How the hell did you chase serial killers?”
She blinked. “I’m not the same person I was before Scorpius and being kidnapped.” She spoke slowly, as if realizing the truth at the same time. “Before, after having pretty much raised myself, I was strong and made an effort to keep people at a distance. To use my brain, you know?”
He couldn’t imagine her being anything but an open book. “We’ve all changed.” Even those who hadn’t been infected had been changed by this dying world.
“I know. But now I can’t even keep my thoughts in my own head. Everything just blurts out.” She sighed. “You’re becoming a confidant, and I know you don’t want that.”
No, he didn’t. Not at all. It wasn’t fair to her, and he had to get out of there. “Go back to sleep, Doc.” He gently laid her beneath the covers and smoothed tangled hair back from her head.
She blinked, those blue eyes glimmering through the night. “Would you stay? It’s not dangerous for you unless we kiss.”
He stilled. Bed. She was offering him a bed. He was way too damn tired to fight both her and exhaustion. “If I do, I won’t be able to leave when you fall asleep. I’m working on no rest for way too long, and if I lie down, I’ll be out in a minute.”
She scooted over and pulled up the covers. “You need sleep.”
And she needed to know somebody had her back, now didn’t she? He hesitated only a moment before standing and shedding his damp jeans and shirt. Then he slid inside and gathered her close.
She snuggled into him with a soft sigh, her butt moving way too close to his dick.
Warm woman and the scent of calla lilies filled his senses even as his eyes closed. Holding on to her as if she was a lifeline to the decent guy he’d once been, he allowed himself to drop into a dreamless sleep.
Vinnie closed her eyes and tried to even out her breath and fall asleep, but the hard body enfolding her held too much intrigue. And he was hard. Smooth muscle, powerful lines, sinewed and strong. While many bodies had grown streamlined and become more powerful after surviving Scorpius, Raze was all man, perfectly uninfected.
She’d seen pictures in sports magazines of bodies like his, but she’d never had one wrapped ar
ound her before.
For once, she’d managed to keep her mouth closed and hadn’t asked him all the questions roaring through her damaged brain. He breathed softly against her hair, relaxed in sleep and yet still somehow on alert.
She could feel his concentration, lumbering beneath the surface of slumber.
He hadn’t wanted to comfort her, and she had felt his hesitation. But something good lived in Raze Shadow, and he’d been unable to turn away from a woman in pain.
Oh, a conflicting force drove Raze, and he hid it well. But at some point, his true agenda would become clear.
“See if you can read his mind,” cackled a familiar voice.
Vinnie’s eyelids opened and she saw Lucinda perching cross-legged at the edge of the bed. Shoot. She’d hoped somehow Raze’s presence would keep the hallucinations at bay for the night. No, she mouthed.
Lucinda shook long blond hair and her dark blue eyes seemed to deepen. “You can read minds now,” she said, voicing one of Vinnie’s unspoken fears.
No, I can’t, Vinnie mouthed back, careful not to make a sound. If Raze awoke and saw her talking to imaginary people, he’d tell Jax, and then she wouldn’t get to work at headquarters and be around people. Go away.
Lucinda pursed her lips. “I read minds my whole life.”
You were schizophrenic, Vinnie mouthed back. It wasn’t real.
“Now who’s seeing people who aren’t real?” Lucinda returned, smoothing down her long velvet skirt. “Your father’s people hail from mystic gypsies and you know it.”
Vinnie rolled her eyes. We’re from Sweden.
Her stepmother shook her head again. “No. Your Great-Grandma Vinilula was a gypsy. My ancestors were gypsies, too. That’s why your dad and I were drawn together.”
You imagined that gypsy connection. Now go away. Vinnie closed her eyes. Lucinda had died ten years ago in a mental hospital, when Vinnie was in her early twenties. You can bother me after I get some sleep. She yawned and her jaw cracked.
“I’m not leaving until you try to read his mind. He’s sexy. I bet he’s dreaming about—”
Fine. Vinnie clenched her jaw. I’ll try. She deepened her breath and tried to focus on Raze’s mind.
Nothing. No sights, no sounds, no images.
Relief washed through her and she opened her eyes. His mind is a steel trap. There was no way she could read minds. All the images and thoughts lately that weren’t her own were a byproduct of the truth serum drugs and not a new ability. Thank goodness.
Lucinda crossed her arms over a fluffy peasant blouse. “Try again.”
No. Vinnie closed her eyes and wished the hallucination away. She knew she should be worried about her tenuous mental state, but for the moment she just felt too warm and too good with the dangerous soldier holding her close. Life sucked right now, so why not take a pleasurable moment and enjoy it?
“If you’re going to sleep with that man, you should really wax your legs,” Lucinda whispered.
“I’m not going to sleep with him,” Vinnie mumbled.
“You’re sleeping with him now. I was talking about sleeping, and you were thinking about sex. Interesting,” Lucinda stage whispered.
Vinnie cringed and then remembered Raze couldn’t hear Lucinda. She couldn’t even hear her stepmom because the woman didn’t exist. God, life had gotten confusing. Besides, sex was off the table. “He hasn’t been infected,” Vinnie whispered.
“He will be.”
Vinnie’s eyelids opened again, but the end of the bed was now empty. Well, it had been empty the entire time, but at least she’d stopped seeing dead people. For now.
I see dead people. The line from a famous movie whispered through her mind, and she chuckled just like an insane person would.
Raze murmured and pulled her even closer into his warmth, his long length bracketing her. She wiggled a bit and then stopped as her rear end brushed across a definite erection.
Whoa.
“Don’t worry about it,” Raze mumbled sleepily. “I’m too tired to do anything, so stop talking to yourself and go to sleep.” His breathing instantly leveled out.
She hadn’t exactly been talking to herself. Well, she had, but not really. Right? “I’m crazy,” she whispered into the night.
For once, the night didn’t answer.
Chapter Six
Whether it’s a virus, bacteria, or evil thought . . . something minute will take us down.
—Dr. Frank X. Harmony, Philosophies
Raze slowly returned to wakefulness, feeling more refreshed than he had in months. A slight weight pinned him down and he frowned, instantly flashing into full-awake mode.
He lay on his back with Vinnie sprawled over him, her long hair covering his left shoulder and arm. Her nose was pressed against his jugular and her thighs bracketed his—
Shit. His full-on erection. Nestled right between her legs against very thin panties.
He ached to press inside all that wet warmth.
Her shirt had ridden up past her waist, and he tried to gently tug it down, his knuckles brushing smooth skin. His body shuddered, flaming awake. God. When was the last time he’d gotten laid? He actually couldn’t remember.
She lifted her head and blinked several times. During daylight, she was stunning with a fragility that called to everything in him. Yet half-asleep, soft and vulnerable, she held a beauty that was all female.
He watched as she awoke, her blue eyes focusing until the very second she felt him against her sex. Her mouth formed a silent o.
Any sane woman would’ve scrambled off him and ducked under the covers toward the wall.
She proved, once again, that she was nuttier than a fruitcake as she rested her chin on her arms, her gaze evenly meeting his, her body fully on top of him.
He lifted an eyebrow.
“We’d have to use a condom if we had sex, so that you wouldn’t get Scorpius,” she murmured.
He tried not to move, but his cock jumped against her as if in perfect agreement.
A red, bright red flush shot up from her chest to cover her pretty face. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Ever since the drugs, every little thought in my head pops out. Sometimes it’s not a thought even in my head. It comes from nowhere.” Tears filled her eyes. “A couple of times I’ve wondered if it’s other people’s thoughts. But it can’t be. So I—”
“Vinnie.” One word stopped her tirade.
“What?” She frowned.
I’d love to have sex with you. I’d die for a condom. Don’t fucking move or it’s over. The thoughts ran through his head like rapid fire. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about the thoughts. Let’s get breakfast.” If she rubbed against him again, he wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t toss her on her back and take his chances with Scorpius.
She blew out air, and her gaze lowered to his chin. “You don’t like me.”
“I like you fine.” Yet he had to betray her, and sleeping with her would only make things worse.
“What are you hiding?” she whispered.
His gut clenched. “What do you mean?”
She looked up. “I’m pretty good at reading people and always have been. You’re hiding something, and I wish you’d just say what it is so I can stop imagining worst-case scenarios.”
The truth was the worst-case scenario. “Sometimes the ends justify the means,” he said, wanting nothing more than to give her honesty.
She tilted her head to the side. “Are you here to betray Jax Mercury?”
“No, but he’ll probably see the situation that way,” Raze said, focusing his gaze on her. For the first time he wondered if he could really turn her over to Greyson, but it was the only way to get Maureen back. He’d taken care of his sister his entire life and he couldn’t stop now. But an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the small blonde in his arms caught him by the throat and squeezed.
Vinnie licked her lips.
He groaned.
She smiled and her eyes lit up. “You do kind
of like me.”
God, she was too cute for words. Brilliant, insightful, and cute—an unthinkable combination, and one he couldn’t turn away from. Slowly, deliberately, he slid his hand down her back and flattened his palm over her firm ass, pressing her onto his aching cock. “I like you a lot,” he rumbled.
Heat sparked in her eyes and her breath caught. “I guess so.” Her thighs widened and she dropped her knees on either side of his legs.
The heat from her core washed over him with a temptation that edged on pain.
He was two seconds away from coming in his shorts. A guy had to have some pride. If there was a private shower somewhere, he’d find it and jack off until he could think again. As it was, he was out of luck, so he needed to get himself under control. “Enough, Vinnie.”
She rubbed against him, arching like a cat. “Are you sure?”
Hell no, he wasn’t sure. “Yes.” He released her and dug both hands into her hair, lifting and easily controlling her head. “Don’t trust me, and for God’s sake, don’t give yourself to me. Trust me.”
She laughed out loud. “What a contradiction you are.”
“Look who’s talking,” he said, frustration lowering his voice to a near growl.
“What makes you think I won’t tell Jax you’re going to betray him?” she asked without an ounce of coyness.
“He already knows I have an agenda and doesn’t trust me,” Raze said evenly. “I’m needed right now because his forces are down, or he’d probably just shoot me in the head and neutralize any threat.”
Vinnie sobered. “That’s just sad. Why don’t you tell me your agenda and I’ll help you? So long as nobody gets hurt.”
“You’ll know soon enough, baby.” He rolled to the side and dumped her on the bed, his entire body aching for relief. “We need food. Get dressed and we’ll head down.” He had to stop saying we. There was no we.
She grumbled but did as he said, rolling to the floor and heading for the defunct bathroom. The sound of her brushing out tangles in her thick hair filled the apartment with a domestic feel. A happy shout came from her. “You have the good toothpaste.”