I smiled. “You guys look like you’re in pain.”
“We are,” said Tony, sighing deeply. “Laughing is painful when it goes on for too long.”
“Well, get up. I’m kicking everyone out but Tim. I have a meeting to go to.”
Tony sat up, all of a sudden serious. “Already? I thought they wanted me to check on the meeting time at ten tonight.”
“No, it’s not that meeting. It’s a pre-meeting, meeting.”
“Can I come?” asked Tim.
“No, Tim, you can’t come.”
“I could hide in your hair ... ”
“No, you can’t hide in my hair. I can’t be all sneaky with the council. It’s my first day. I don’t want to screw it up by engaging in pixie smuggling.”
Tim grumbled a little but didn’t argue. I had a feeling he was going to try and sneak in anyway. I didn’t care. If he got caught it would be all on him and I could walk away clean.
As Scrum was walking out the door, the last one to leave, I grabbed his arm.
He looked at me in innocent confusion.
“I just wanted to say that I hope you know we were just messing with you today. No offense to you or your grandma or anything.”
He smiled. “I know. Don’t worry about it. I can take a joke. I’m used to it.”
I didn’t think about it – I just grabbed him in a hug and squeezed him fiercely, trying to push the sad feelings I was having for him away. As I had gotten to know him better, I’d realized what a good guy he is. To think he’d been treated like shit most of his life was really, really depressing to me right now.
“Somehow your forgiveness only makes me feel more like shit, Scrum.”
“Oh, sorry,” he said over my shoulder.
“Not your fault. I’m just overly emotional right now.” If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was PMSing, but I did know better. The only explanation for my irrational behavior was my mother’s death and the narrowly-escaped demon sex. That shit was emotionally scarring.
I pulled away from him. “I just think you got a bum deal growing up, so I’m glad you’re here now. You’re valuable to me. To all of us.”
He looked down at the ground, coloring. “You think so?”
“Yeah. I know so. Now get the hell out of my room.”
He looked up and smiled at me one more time before leaving the room.
I went over and grabbed the sock I had thrown at Scrum and sat down on the edge of my bed, pulling it back on along with my moccasins.
“Are you going soft on me, Sparks, or what?” asked Tim, lying on his back on his miniature bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.
“No. I’m just ... appreciating my friends more, I guess.”
“Good. Feel free to appreciate me more too.”
“I think I appreciate you as much as any person who spends every waking and sleeping moment with you possibly could.”
He looked over at me, frowning. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well ... you snore. You fart. You pull my hair. Shall I continue?”
He sighed. “Just wait ‘til you get married. You’ll wish my insignificant and mostly charming little peccadillos were all you had to deal with.”
“Good word,” I said, impressed.
“You know it. There’s more than meets the eye with this pixie.”
“You aren’t kidding,” I said as I stood. “I’m not worthy. And by the way, speaking of being married ... we’ll be talking about your wife and son tonight after dinner. Just giving you a heads up. And don’t try to hide. I’ll just come and find you.”
Tim turned his back to me and started snoring extra loudly.
“Fake snore all you want. If I have to physically pin you down and breathe garlic breath all over you until you beg for mercy, it is going to happen.”
A well-timed pixie fart was his only response.
I left the room shaking my head and wondering what the heck I’d do with myself if I didn’t have him around to drive me nuts all day.
I found myself in front of the phi door in less than five minutes. I knocked three times and entered, noticing that I was the last one there ... and that everyone but me had their cloaks on.
“Where’s your cloak?” demanded Red.
“Uh, in my room. Is that a problem? I thought it was only for assemblies.”
Red turned away grumbling.
Céline walked over and put her hand on my arm. “I should have told you, I’m sorry. You must always wear the cloak on council business. It has ... magical properties that will keep others from being able to impersonate you or listen in on our conversations.”
“Oohhhhh, okay. I can go back and get it real quick if you want.”
She nodded her head. “Yes, please. We’ll wait for you.”
I didn’t even bother to see what Red’s reaction to me delaying the meeting was. I just left, running down the hallway to get back to my room.
I reached the door and was just about to open it when I heard raised voices inside. My hand froze in midair, just as it was about to make contact with the wood. I leaned in closer, putting my ear to the surface, trying to hear who it was and what they were saying. I immediately recognized Tim’s agitated, high-pitched voice and another one, gravelly, with a slight growl to it. I couldn’t quite put my finger on whose it was, but when I heard Tim yell, “I’m not on the menu, buggane!” I didn’t hesitate. I threw the door open.
“Gorm!” I shouted. “Get away from that pixie, right this instant!”
The buggane was perched on top of my bed, his nasty, furry, dirty feet on my pillow, his lumpy, hairy arm outstretched, trying to reach a panicked Tim flying up near the ceiling. He turned to look at me, his glowing red eyes glaring out from mucousy-looking, saggy eyelids. He no longer looked anything like Chase. He looked like, well, the boogie monster from my worst nightmares.
“You said my name,” he growled menacingly, temporarily forgetting about Tim.
I took a step into the room, reaching around behind the door to grab my cloak off the hook while trying to distract him with my words.
“You’re damn right I did ... ” I paused to send Spike the sexiest thoughts I could possibly muster with this disgusting glob of awfulness in front of me, praying he’d feel me and come a-runnin’, “ ... and I’m not afraid to do it, either. Gorm, Gorm, Gormagon. There. Said it three more times.”
His head tilted to the side, turning to face me fully, temporarily forgetting about Tim. “Gormagon?”
“Yeah. That’s your nickname. I gave it to you. Gormagon. Gormie. Gormster.”
“Familiar ... ”
“Yes. Gormagon. It’s familiar because you and I are friends. Remember? We hung out? Ate meals together? You were pretending to be Chase? You were my daemon?” I swung the cloak over my shoulders and quickly tapped into The Green. My cloak began to glow, a turquoise sparkle-effect rising up to surround me.
Gorm took a step off the bed and onto the floor, his hand held out in front of him, as if reaching for me. “Preeeetttttyyyy.”
I practically baby-talked to him. “Yes ... it’s pretty ... that’s right. Follow the pretty cloak, Gormagon. That’s right, follow the pretty colors ... ” I stepped backwards out of the room and out into the hallway. Sexy thoughts, sexy thoughts, Spike I NEED YOU!!!
Tim’s voice followed me out the door. “Here I come, Jayne! Don’t shut the door!”
“Okay!” I yelled, keeping my eyes locked on Gorm who was just advancing into the hallway with me, almost in a trance, still reaching for my cloak.
I felt a disturbance in the air behind me and then heard Spike saying, “What do we have here?” in a sexy voice and then, “Ew, what’s that?” in an obviously disgusted tone.
Theresa’s voice came next. “That ... is a buggane.”
Felicia added. “A happy buggane, thankfully.”
“Well,” I said, stepping back towards their voices to keep Gorm from getting too close, “he’
s only happy right this second. A minute ago, he was trying to eat Tim.”
Tim came flying out of the room and zoomed past us, down the hall.
“Chicken!” I yelled. I didn’t get an answer in return – he was long gone, saving his sorry ass and leaving me behind to deal with this shit. Typical.
“So, what’s the plan?” asked Spike. “What can we do?”
“Well, I’m not exactly sure.” I took two more steps back. “I guess I just didn’t want to die alone.”
“You’re not going to die,” said Theresa, wryly. “Step aside, elemental. Let Felicia and me handle this bad boy.”
“With pleasure,” I said, letting the energy of The Green mostly fall away so my cloak would stop glowing and capturing his attention.
Gorm frowned for a second and then shook his head as if to clear it. Then his eyes narrowed at me and he said, “You tricked me. No more pretty glow. No more pixie.”
Theresa and Felicia moved to stand on either side of me. “Hey there, buggane. Whacha doin’?” asked Felicia.
He looked at her, a grouchy expression on his face. “Looking for food. Gorm is hungry.”
“How about some nice incubus?” she asked, “Doesn’t that sound good? Mmmm, tasty incubus.”
I turned around to look at Spike.
The look on his face was classic ‘befuddled guy in the midst of confusing women’. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not what’s for dinner!”
“Gorm likes incubus,” said the buggane.
“Follow us, buggane, we have an incubus right here for you. All you have to do is catch him first. It’s fun to chase our food, isn’t it buggane?”
Gorm’s eyes lit up. “It is fun to chase the food first.” His head was nodding slowly as he drank in the sight of Spike, now revealed to him as I had stepped to the side.
I had complete confidence in the twins and knew – or at least hoped like hell – that they wouldn’t actually let anything happen to Spike.
Gorm lunged at Spike, but Spike zoomed away at incubus warp speed to a spot about ten feet farther down the hall.
Spike laughed nervously and said, “Ha, ha, missed me. Try and catch me now.”
The twins nodded at him, huge grins on their faces. I realized at that moment that I was witnessing some kind of sick cube-eye game, but I didn’t care. So long as they kept Gorm from eating anyone and contained him until we could get rid of him, it was fine with me. I couldn’t imagine they’d actually try to hurt him by sucking out his energy – something told me it would taste disgusting.
“Get him to that room he was locked in before!” I yelled down the hall.
Felicia waved at me, as they rounded a corner out of sight.
I sighed deeply, turning to go back to the phi room. At least now I have something of note to add to the meeting’s agenda – mad, hungry buggane on the loose in the hallways. Life is never dull at the Light Fae compound.
Chapter 30
I got back to the phi room in record time, cloak on and only slightly glowing. My mind was having a hard time letting The Green go, knowing that a hungry boogieman was somewhere in the compound.
I knocked the requisite three times and entered, finding a seat as quickly as possible. Everyone was already sitting down, and once I was too, Dardennes began speaking.
“Thank you everyone for coming. I will keep this short. I just wanted to get your thoughts on this upcoming meeting with the Dark Fae.”
I raised my hand.
Dardennes stopped talking and raised an eyebrow. I took that to mean I was allowed to proceed. I didn’t know what the protocol was, so I stood up by my seat, having to scramble somewhat ungracefully to grab my chair to keep it from falling backwards, since I was a little too eager about getting on my feet.
“Before I answer that question, I just wanted to mention that there’s a rogue buggane roaming the halls near the changeling rooms, but the cube-eyes have it in hand and will be locking him back up in that dungeon if all goes as planned.” I sat back down and folded my hands on the table in front of me, focusing all of my attention on Dardennes, and ignoring the looks of the others at the table.
Dardennes’ mouth opened but nothing came out. He looked like a fish out of water trying to find air for a second before he was finally able to speak. “You said ... a buggane ... cube-eyes? I’m sorry, but could you repeat that for me? I don’t think I understood you correctly.”
I took a deep breath and stood again. “Okay. What I said was, there is a buggane in the compound. He was in my room when I went back to get my cloak, and he was trying to eat my roommate, Tim the pixie. So I called the cube-eyes – that’s what I call the group of succubi and incubi that are here – and they came to rescue me. They’re luring him down the hallways and into that room where you had locked him up before.” I looked around at the faces at the table, most of which I’d at least seen before, but only a couple I knew. I saw dawning comprehension on most of them. Figuring I was done with explanations, I sat back down.
Red spoke up. “You encountered a buggane here? In our compound?” He looked suspicious. “And you dealt with him in the short period of time you were gone?”
“Yes. But now the cube-eyes have taken over. They’re playing chase-the-dinner with him.”
“Chase the dinner?” asked Niles. “What is that? A game? I have not heard of it.”
“It’s something the bugganes do. Maybe the cube-eyes do it too. They like to chase their food before they eat it, I guess. So Spike, the incubus, he’s the dinner and he’s running and the buggane is chasing him while the twin succubi are egging the buggane on.”
Niles’ upper lip curled in distaste.
I suddenly remembered the poor dwarf that had been roasting on the spit over the orc’s bar-b-que pit a few months back and immediately felt bad. It must suck to be so little and only have an axe to fight off boogie monsters. I’d bet lots of his friends had played chase-the-dinner and lost. “Sorry, Niles.”
He frowned at me. “Don’t apologize to me! I don’t need your pity!”
I sat back quickly, shocked into silence. I had no idea he was so sensitive. But he’d just told me not to apologize, so I didn’t know what to say next. Instead I just sat there, determined that watching and listening was better plan for me right now.
Dardennes cleared his throat. “Well, I am glad to hear you worked it out; nevertheless, I would like Ivar and some of his ogres to go ensure all is well. Niles, would you mind taking care of that? We will certainly wait for you to return before we begin.”
Niles jumped off of his seat and left the room to do Dardennes’ bidding.
I took the time during our brief hiatus to look at the fae around the table with me. Dardennes and Céline were there of course, near the far end of the table to my right; Red was next to them, and Niles’ chair next to Red’s was empty. The werewolf man who I’d seen the first time during my changeling test was sitting next to me on my left. I was relieved to see he was fully clothed and man-like instead of wolf-like. That hadn’t been the case the day we’d met. I gave him a small smile and a nod. He returned the gesture, but said nothing.
Naida the siren was at the other end of the table, opposite the silver elves, not speaking to anyone and gazing out into nothingness. I wasn’t even sure she was fully here. Who knows? Maybe those sirens had figured out how to be in two places at once.
Next to her was an old lady wearing the tunic of a witch under her cloak. I’d seen her in the hallways before and at dinner a few times. She muttered to herself a lot. I always wondered if she was a little loony or busy casting spells. Either way, I steered clear of her. She caught my eye but didn’t respond to my current surveillance of her person. She just started whispering to herself, and I tried not to be creeped out about it.
There was one seat open between Celeste and Red, which I assumed belonged to Jared. He had been gone for weeks. I’d heard through Scrum that he was coming back any day. I looked forward to having another f
ae under the age of five hundred at future council meetings with me. I felt totally out of my league in here. I couldn’t tell what the criteria were to be on this council. It obviously wasn’t an age thing, since I was practically an embryo compared to these old coots. And it wasn’t a race representative thing, since there were two silver elves but no gray or green elves. Maybe someday I’d get up the nerve to ask what had earned me this pretty cloak. I hated to think it was the Mother thing. I still wasn’t sure they were right about it or that I wanted it to be true. Sure, I wanted to be awesome – who didn’t? But I wanted to be good at being awesome, not to suck at it.
Niles came back in the room, interrupting my thoughts.
Dardennes got right down to business. “Thank you, Niles. Now, to begin. We have our meeting with the Dark Fae tomorrow. I expect it will be in the morning. Please be prepared for the summoning. Wear your cloaks, of course.” He looked directly at me, and my face turned beet red. “Celeste, Red, I would like you to speak with your colleagues and see to it that we have adequate spell security around the perimeter of the meadow and of course on our path to and from.”
Red and the old lady in the witch tunic and robe, Celeste apparently, nodded their heads. Celeste started writing invisible letters in the air in front of her with her finger. I was willing to bet Tim’s underwear she was taking invisible notes to read later. It was like a witchy iPad or something.
“I will ensure the ogres are there for us.” Then he looked at me. “Jayne, we’d like you to be connected with your elements when we arrive. Not as a show of power, but as a protection for you. I don’t imagine you’ll need it, but just in case.”
“Do you think that’s wise?” asked the werewolf-man. “She has lost control before.”
I frowned at him but could hardly say anything. He was right, even if he was rude to bring it up so publicly.
“We believe this small use of power is something she can manage, as she has proven herself capable on many occasions.”
I didn’t know whether to be proud or ashamed at this point, so I just looked at the table, wringing my hands underneath it where no one could see.