CHAPTER XV
THE GERMAN BAND
When the German band was announced by the Demon Usher in his queer,cackling voice Queen Titania, Dame Drusilda, Violet, and Daffodilhappened to be seated on the steps of the throne, and all were feelinggrumpy and out-of-sorts. Dragonfel had tried to prevail upon them toplay dominoes or parchesi, but they had no heart for any game.
Grouthead, Wolfinger, Mandrake, Boundingbore, Snoutpimple, and othersof the enchanter's followers were present and some of them lookeddistinctly bored. Snoutpimple was even trying to repress a yawn. Thingsat the palace had been rather slow since the abduction of Queen Titaniaand her party, and nothing especially wicked had occurred.
When it was known, however, that a number of strolling musicians weregoing to play for them, a thrill of genuine pleasure ran through thewhole assemblage. Titania and her companions were glad, for they feltthat some enlivening strains would greatly cheer their drooping spirits.Dragonfel's followers were equally delighted, though they did not carein the least for music. But knowing their master as they did they werevery sure that the prospective concert would prove exceedinglyinteresting.
Escorted by the smirking Demon Usher, who rubbed his hands togetherwhile he cackled joyously to himself, and who half skipped, half flew,before them, the members of the German band entered awkwardly, andclumsily arranged themselves in a semi-circle before the throne.
There were five of them including the leader who stood at the endnearest Dragonfel and the others--all diminutive, moustached men withbig noses, whose frayed, soiled uniforms fitted them very badly indeed.Their trousers at the ends were rolled up a number of times over, andtheir coats which hung on them like bags actually reached almost totheir shoe-tops.
Upon the chest of the one who stood next to the leader were pinned agreat variety of medals, and he seemed to be very proud of them, sinceno one else boasted a decoration of any kind.
The little audience grouped about the throne gazed at them expectantly,and Titania thought the leader winked at her. But apparently he did notnotice anyone, and least of all Dragonfel. His whole attention seemed tobe centred on his band.
"Are ve all here alretty?" he asked.
"Yah!" came in chorus.
"Vell," said he, "I vill broceed der gall der roll-gall. 'LouieKnobloch!'"
"I vass here," said the one with the medals next to him.
"Peter Dinkelspeil!"
"Here I vass."
"Hermann Sweinskopf!"
"He's peen here."
"Jacob Schnittger!"
"Bresend early."
"Emil Muller!"
There was no response, and all the rest turned and looked at the leaderin surprise.
"Emil Muller!" he repeated, and then, suddenly recollecting something,went on: "Oh, oxguse me! I vass here. Heinrich von Strauss! Heinrich vonStrauss! Vere iss Heiny von Strauss?"
"He vass py his bedt sick," said Louie Knobloch.
"Vat's der madder mit der bedt?" demanded Emil Muller. "For vhy iss idsick?"
"Nein, nein, keppelmeister," said Louie Knobloch. "Id iss Heiny vat isssick. He iss sick by der inside off der bedt."
"Vhy iss he sick?" asked Emil Muller.
"Yestertay," explained Louie Knobloch, "he vend on der bicnig, und heeated four dozen charlotte roosters, und he gets der collywopples."
He illustrated his remarks by significantly rubbing his stomach. "He vasnot in goot contition to plow ven ve left."
"Anyvone vot eadts charlotte roosters ought der be sick," said EmilMuller decidedly. "He shoult eat dem vhen dey iss a egg. Blay!"
All raised their instruments to their mouths, but he held up a warningfinger.
"Anodder t'ing," he went on to Knobloch. "You dell Heinrich off he vassnod here dermorrow morning ad half basd four in der afdernoon, vhen Igall der rehearsal, arous mit him! Are you retty?"
"Yah!"
"Den plow yourselfs!"
Then began a wild riot of discord, whereupon Emil Muller quickly tookhis own dented offending cornet from his mouth.
"Ve vill nod blay dot biece," he announced. "Id iss no goot."
"Vhy don'd you wride some musigs, keppelmeister?" suggested PeterDinkelspeil.
"I voult, bud I'm doo pusy," said Emil Muller. "Led us renter insteadtdot peaudiful biece fon Vawgner, 'Der Glock on der Rhine.'"
"Vatch, keppelmeister," corrected Louie Knobloch.
"Vatch vat?" inquired Emil Muller.
"Id iss nod a glock," explained Louie Knobloch. "Id iss a vatch on derRhine."
"A glock all gan see iss besser," said Emil Muller, and in the midst oftheir second attempt Hermann Swinescopf raised his hand and shouted inthe effort to make himself heard above the din:
"Shtob der pandt! Shtob der pandt! I am shbeaking!"
"Vot's der madder?" asked Emil Muller.
"Vass iss der biece you say ve blay?" questioned Hermann Sweinskopf.
"I say 'Der Glock on der Rhine' fon Vawgner," replied Emil Muller.
They started once more, but again came the vigorous interruption fromHermann Sweinskopf:
"Shtob der pandt! Shtob der pandt! I am shbeaking!"
"Vhy don'd you shbeak your moud oud undt pe done mit it?" said EmilMuller angrily.
"Vass iss dis here biece, 'Der Glock on der Rhine,' anyhow? Iss id aso-na-da?"
"Yess--undt no!" said Emil Muller, reflecting. "Id iss a in-u-en-do! Areyou all retty?"
"Yah!" they chorused, setting themselves in proper shape.
"Vell, altogedder den, und show de vorld vot you can do!"
Then came a third attempt, but the leader again stopped them.
"Who plew dot bum node?" he sternly demanded. Everyone looked at eachother in surprise, and Louie Knobloch said:
"Vell, I don'd dood id."
"I didn'd did id," said Peter Dinkelspeil.
"I didn'd done id," said Hermann Sweinskopf.
"I didn'd did did id," said Jacob Schnittger.
The controversy over the bum note.]
"You're de von," Emil Muller accused Louie Knobloch. "You plew dot bumnode, no madder vot oxguse you make!"
"No, sir," said Louie Knobloch stoutly, "I don'd dood id."
"You're de von," insisted Emil Muller. "You plew dot bum node, it vassnear me."
"No, sir," denied Louie Knobloch. "I don'd plow no bum nodes. I vass asgoot a musiker as you pe, und maype vorse."
"You dake dot bum node und bay yourself," said Emil Muller reminded him.
"Oh, dot don'd make some ice!" said Louie Knobloch, accompanying thewords with sarcastic shakes of his head. "I don'd see no medals on you."
He looked complacently down at his own chest and regarded withsatisfaction the big assortment there. Emil Muller was evidently takenaback, but he recovered himself sufficiently to say:
"I am de leater, und you gan ged oudt off der pandt. Ve gan ged alongmitout you."
"Oh, vell," said Louie Knobloch, "I gan go."
"Den vhy don'd you? Vat are you shtanding here for?"
"I vass vaiding for my money."
"How much do you owe me?" asked Emil Muller.
"I owe you a veek's vages," said Louie Knobloch. "No, you owe me aveek's vages. You bay me my money und I go."
"You dake dot bum node und bay yourself," said Muller.
That settled the controversy, and Louis Knobloch made no effort to go,nor did Emil Muller urge him.
They made another attempt, without any further interruption, and, whiletheir cheeks puffed out, and they got red in their faces, no one couldtell what tune they were playing.
Dragonfel from the throne silently motioned to Grouthead who went out,and returned a few seconds later with a tray on which were four tinyglasses of ginger ale.
Jacob Schnittger turned and saw him, and then rushed to help himself toone of the glasses of ginger ale. A moment later Hermann Sweinskopffollowed his example, and then Peter Dinkelspeil. Louie Knoblochsuddenly noticed his companions preparing to refresh themselves, andmade a frantic dash
to join them. That left only Emil Muller, theleader, playing. He looked around to find out what was the matter, andthen sprinted toward Grouthead, but there was no ginger ale left on thetray. He stood with ill-concealed envy watching the other four who wereclinking their glasses hilariously. Then the quartet began to sing:
"'Halli, hallo, halli, hallo; Bei uns geht's immer, Je langer je schlimmer; Halli, hallo, halli, hallo, Bei uns geht's immer noch so!'"
"Prosit, leater!" said Louie Knobloch mockingly, as he lifted hisglass, with the other three facing around and following suit.
Emil Muller was speechless. He kicked his heels together as he watchedthem drinking and smacking their lips. Dragonfel again signalled toGrouthead who went out, and came back bearing an immense glass of gingerale upon the tray.
Emil Muller swooped down upon it exultingly, and with great difficultyheld it aloft. The others of the band gathered around in awe, whileLouie Knobloch stood on tiptoe to obtain a better view of the glass.Emil Muller blew the froth into Louie's face, and the latter wiped itoff with his fingers, afterwards putting them in his mouth, as thougheven small favors sometimes count.
"Do you know vot dot man Vilhelm Shake-a-sbeare vonct saidt?" he asked.
"THE BROWNIES!"]
"No," replied Louie Knobloch, wiping the froth from his eyes. "Vot dithe say?"
Emil Muller raised the glass to his lips, remarking with great emphasis:
"Shake-a-sbeare vonct saidt, 'Dere iss odders!'"
But before he could partake of the cooling drink all of a sudden the RedSpirit with the bow and quiver of arrows he had taken surreptitiouslyfrom Prince Florimel flew through the window into the room, shatteringthe glass all to pieces, and lit right at Dragonfel's feet.
"Be not deceived, kind master!" he cried, in great excitement. "They arethe Brownies!"