Zeus takes up a lot of room, so I move toward the wall. I reach for my sheet. Where is the sheet? I feel around for it, knowing I’m starting to make too much noise. My fingers find the edge and I pull. It’s stuck. Great. I roll over and gasp. Cole’s face is next to me… in bed.
“What are you doing?” I freak out.
His eyes jump open. “It’s not how it looks. Please let me explain!”
“I think you better!” I yell in anger.
“You were screaming in your sleep.” He sits up and turns. I hear a click and the room lights up. I groan, wondering what happened in the room that I missed. The sheet looks like confetti thrown all over the floor. Zeus has slivers stuck to his chin.
“Zeus pulled your sheet off and ripped it to shreds. I’m guessing he thought it was attacking you. You scared the hell out of me. I tried waking you, but you kept screaming. I thought maybe if I held you it would help. I didn’t know what else to do.” He leans away from me with both hands in the air as if pleading his innocence. “I swear, Lexi. I’d never ever take advantage of you.” Zeus starts howling. “Shut up, you idiot!” He throws my pillow at Zeus, hitting him in the head. Zeus picks it up and whips his head left and right while growling. “Now it’s the pillow’s fault,” Cole says, throwing his arms in the air.
“Stop!” I sit up. “Don’t be mad at Zeus. Look, I had a bad dream. I’m not mad at you. I just freaked out when I opened my eyes and your face was an inch away.” Whew. His jaw loosens as he flips around to face me. I don’t move. He looks at me and hesitates.
“What were you screaming about anyway? It was terrifying,” he says.
I knew he’d ask eventually. “Please, not now. I’m fine—really I am,” I say, but he persists.
“No, I’ve never heard you scream like that, ever. Not even when you were branded.” I push away from him, stunned.
“You saw my branding? Why didn’t you tell me before?” My face flushes red with the humiliating memory. I want to run out of this room and never look back. He grabs my hands. I shake them away.
“Just listen to me for a second,” he says.
“Just stop. Not now, I just want to rest. Please, just leave me alone.” I curl my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
He leans forward. “Just let me say what I need to say. Then I’ll shut up, okay?”
“Okay,” I say with hesitation.
“I’m a guard. You’re my assignment. I had to watch you from the moment you came into the compound. It’s an order, and I had to follow it. I didn’t know you then. I only knew of your sin and that I was your escort.” I don’t take my eyes off the wall. “It wasn’t my choice. I know you won’t believe me, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I saw the pain they inflicted on you and I have no desire to watch anyone go through that again. It’s sickening. When I joined the guards, I thought things would be different. I had the impression that what I was ordered to do was for the best. I was ordered to come, ordered to do my job, so I did.” He bites his lip and then continues his passionate rant. “I believe there was a reason I was placed here. I know there are good people here. Innocent people. They shouldn’t be here. Lexi, you shouldn’t be here.” My heart thaws, letting him in. “I have to act as if I don’t care. The other guards, some of them watch, and he watches. The commander has hidden cameras—” I hold up my hand to stop him.
“Wait, he watches us? He records us for his pleasure? Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“You were a prisoner, so I didn’t tell you, but everyone knows. He has cameras hidden in the streets so he can watch. He loves the power and some of the guards get off on it. Thankfully, he can’t bug every room since there’s too many people in the Hole.” He slides over, taking my chin. He lifts until I look at him. “Promise me you won’t say anything. Not only would they kill you, they’d kill everyone you have contact with here,” he says with disgust.
“Including you and Zeus?”
He nods his head. “Yes, including us.”
“Does he have cameras inside our rooms?”
“No, he only watches the streets. People would find ways to damage cameras if they were obvious,” he says. We hold each other’s stare for a few seconds until Zeus barks. We both jump and look at him, but he’s asleep.
“You should sleep.”
“Like that’s possible now,” I say with sarcasm. My mind runs a marathon. He stands up to move and I grab his shirt. “Please don’t leave.”
“I’m not leaving, just going back on the floor. I’ll be right here if you need me,” he says, but I don’t release his shirt. I lift the blanket up. He looks at me, and knows what I’m asking him to do. He climbs in, turns the light off, and rolls on his side with his back toward me.
“Cole,” I whisper, “for some reason I believe you. You haven’t really given me a reason to distrust you.”
He reaches back, grabs my hand, and squeezes. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
CHAPTER 10
The piercing siren blares outside Cole’s window, reverberating through my temples. He faces me, eyes open and my right arm lies across his chest. Sometime during the night, I’m guessing I pulled him toward me. Or he just realized what happened.
“I better get ready. I still have training,” he says as he backs away.
I feel like a line was crossed last night, but maybe I’m wrong. “What on earth am I supposed to do while you’re gone?” I sit up on one elbow, fearing the thought of being alone.
“Well, Sutton asked Bruno to stand in my place whenever I have to be away from you. We both agreed that leaving you alone for even a split second is way too risky. Everyone seems out to get you, but I promise I won’t let that happen.”
“Wait a minute. Who’s Bruno?” I sit up and see the mess Zeus made of everything last night. He didn’t just shred my blanket—he completely annihilated it. “Zeus, what did you do?” He looks up and I can’t help but laugh. Pieces of cloth hang from both sides of his head and he gives me a guilty look. He’s busted.
“He’s a friend of Sutton. They go way back and since Sutton trusts him, so do I.” Cole goes into the bathroom and closes the door. “He should be here any minute.”
I guess I should change too. I feel like a sweaty mess. At first, my muscles are taut, but as I move around, they loosen. I stretch upward, then touch my toes and arch my back.
The siren coincides with the blatant sound of steady gunfire. That’s twice in two days. The building rocks violently, and people stampede in the hallway outside the room. I hear the lightbulb dangling in the center of my small cell shatter from the jolt. Fear gnaws at my insides as I steady myself against the wall using my hand. Don’t give out. Don’t give out. My legs start to wobble and threaten to collapse as I press against the cold cement. When the tremors stop, I jump to the window in hopes of seeing what’s happening.
A voice shouts loud enough from below I can hear it up here. “Did you see that? That red car that passed by earlier, it was a bomb and it just leveled five buildings!”
“Freaking crazy,” another says.
“Unbelievable. Will someone please tell me what the point of that was?” I hear a woman’s voice this time. Their voices fade as panic ensues.
Cole swings open the bathroom door and he looks furious. Shaving cream covers half his jawline and the tip of his nose.
“What the hell was that?”
“All I heard was a car bomb took out five buildings.” I press my cheekbone against the glass and try to get a better look.
People emerge from the curtain of smoke blocking the street from four blocks away, covered in dust and blood. Some of them scream in agony. The heavy smoldering of ashes, dust, and chemicals rises upward like a mushroom. Vehicles, mostly the men in black, clog the street, attempting to cordon off the bombed section of the Hole. Their dark figures form a checkpoint, and woe to anyone who fits the description of who they’re looking for.
That easily could’ve been our building—I shive
r just thinking about it.
“Well, my pager didn’t go off so I guess I’ll finish shaving.” Cole walks back in the bathroom without closing the door and resumes sliding his razor over his face.
“Good, you were starting to resemble a caveman.” I hear him chuckle and something about his laugh makes me smile.
Should I worry? I guess not. If he’s not shaken, then I shouldn’t be, but I can’t tell that to the delicate nerves in my hands. Needing something to occupy my mind from the gore, I begin to clean up the strips of linen on the floor. Zeus warily follows me around as if he also smells danger. Or maybe I stink. I take a quick whiff of both of my armpits. Nope, still fresh.
“Zeus, it’ll be fine.” I chat with him while bending over and sweeping things up. I go into my room and attempt to clean up the shattered glass. Guess I won’t have any light at all in here now–but I can’t stay in Cole’s room forever. The thought of spending another night in his room sends warmth flooding through me. I feel more secure knowing he’s within arm’s reach.
Cole comes out of the bathroom in his black dress uniform. It’s newly pressed and formfitting.
“What’s with the uniform?” I eye the formalwear pensively.
“I should wear it just in case.” He shrugs. “Anytime we have a special assignment, we have to wear this crap. I’m still trying to figure out why. You should try running in these pants.”
“They’re a little tight on you, but I’m sure the prostitutes will eat it up.” I push against the window again and view outside. The thick cloud covers everything with gray soot. Except for the guards, the street’s almost shut down.
“Very funny.”
A knock on the door makes me shudder and Cole opens it. He lets in a large black man, and they talk as if I’m not here. He stands taller than Cole and almost another body wider with a pronounced brow and high cheekbones. A small glimmer reflects in his pupils as if he’s capable of mischief.
“Dude, how’d you get here so fast?” Cole asks.
“Aww, man, it’s nuts out there,” the guy I assume is Bruno says.
“What happened?”
“A car was hijacked and loaded with a bomb. It was set off a couple blocks down, took out five whole buildings right when the buses came. Bodies, limbs—crap is everywhere. Never seen anything like it…”
“Great. Another nonstop special ops until they find someone to hang for it,” Cole laments.
I clear my throat, interrupting their conversation.
Bruno’s head pivots toward me and evaluates my appearance.
“Oh, I guess I should introduce you two.” Cole suddenly remembers why Bruno’s there in the first place. “Lexi, this here is my friend Bruno. Bruno, meet Lexi.”
His massive size makes me forget my manners and I don’t stretch out my hand to shake his. “He’s going to patrol the hall while I’m gone. If you need anything, anything at all, let him know.”
I nod while staring at Bruno with wide eyes. I’ve never seen a man his size before. He’s enormous.
He smiles, showing a set of perfect white teeth. “Nice to meet you. I’ve known Cole for about seven years now. Don’t you worry about a thing,” he says to reassure me. He doesn’t know about the attack because we kept it a secret, but the way he scrutinizes my injuries tells me it makes him unhappy.
“Thank you. I appreciate what you’re doing for me.”
Cole grabs a protein bar and darts for the door while coaxing Zeus along with him. “Come on. You can’t stay here,” he pleads. Zeus follows him with his head down. “I’ll see you tonight.” Then Bruno, Cole, and Zeus leave with the slamming of the door.
Sigh. Alone again.
The day drags. I lie down, get up, and lie down again. I clean dishes, hand wash my dirty scrubs, and sweep the floor. As I sweep my old room, I trip over the bucket of chalk, scattering it in all directions. Seems like years ago that Cole gave it to me. My landscape remains unfinished and even though I’m sore, I decide to draw more.
I begin with blues and greens, adding mountains. Oranges and reds form a brilliant sunset. I finally finish the wall and only one remains blank now. Unsure of what to do, I start with yellow. The yellow becomes waves of blond hair, blue for eyes that are large with tears of happiness.
Alyssa.
Tears fall silently as I recreate her beautiful, young, determined, and brave face. I didn’t intend to draw her, but it happened. When I finish, my arms hurt from reaching so high.
I sit on the floor to rest and stare at my room. The memories play like music. First, the breeze blows over the bay with its clear, blue water surrounded by majestic mountains. Next, the forest rises up behind my childhood home, and finally, Alyssa’s face—my sister and friend.
A sharp knock resounds on the door, making me panic. Do I answer? What if it’s Bruno? What if he’s not as nice as he seems? Cole made it sound like Bruno and he were best friends, but my trust has already been shattered more than once, so convincing me of that is hard to do.
The knock sounds again, followed by Bruno’s voice. “Just me. May I bother you to use the restroom?”
I want to be relieved, yet my heart quickens at the thought of being alone with a guard other than Cole. Despite my reservations, I call out, “Of course you can.” This guy still petrifies me—he could crush me with his foot.
The door beeps after he swipes his card, and he hops up and down like a young boy in agony, waiting for the teacher to give him a hall pass.
“Sorry, all of a sudden, it just hit me.”
I nod my head. He’s lucky Cole trusts him or I’d make him wet himself in the hallway.
“Thank you.” He sprints to the bathroom in Cole’s room and closes the door.
After a few minutes, he returns, staring at my artwork. Sweat beads down his forehead from the heaviness of his dress uniform. His jaw drops in awe when his eyes rest on my latest drawing.
“Who’s the girl?”
My eyes glaze over, but I answer. “My friend, Alyssa. She passed away last week.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Your drawing does her justice though. She’d be honored.” He smiles with kindness.
I feel my shoulders relax and smile in return. He carries himself with confidence, yet he seems cautious in his movements, like he’s afraid to startle me.
“Wow, really? Thanks. I always doubt my work. Years ago a girl in my school commented about how bad I sucked, and words like that stick with you for a long time.”
“She was obviously just jealous because it’s amazing. Feels real—like it came from your heart.” He points to Alyssa. “She looks young,” he says. “Never easy when they’re young.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he turns toward the exit.
“Hey…”
He looks over his shoulder and pauses with his hand on the door.
“Do you know why Cole’s still guarding me?”
Still facing the door, he says, “Because he’s been ordered to.” He swipes his card and stands halfway in the hall. “If that’s all, I’m going to go now.”
“Sure. That’s it. Thanks.”
I turn around, disappointed, and hear the door click shut.
The minutes and hours tick by, but I can’t keep track. No clocks hang on the walls and Bruno doesn’t come inside again for me to ask. I find myself missing Cole and Zeus—missing the distraction of Cole singing something off-key in the shower when he doesn’t know I hear him or when Zeus drinks water out of the sink in Cole’s kitchen. It’s funny what you miss when you’re alone.
I don’t even want to think about lying down again, although I should. My bruises turn a yellowish color. I don’t look so bad, do I? Heading into Cole’s bathroom, I twirl my hair to style it a little, but the bruises on my face and the stitches on my lip make my eyes the only attractive part of me. Why do I care? Cole’s already seen me at my very worst, but I wish he could see me at my best. I have nothing though—no makeup, no clothes other than scrubs, and no jewe
lry. Thinking this way will only bring more trouble—for everyone. Maybe someday… Ahhh, there I go again!
The door slams open. I jump back and Zeus sprints inside. I laugh as he jumps up to give me kisses.
“Good Lord, Zeus! Get down, silly dog!” I crumple under his weight and reach out for the wall to steady myself. He lathers me with affection. Soon, Cole arrives behind him.
“How was your day?” I ask, coming out of the bathroom.
“Same old. Same old,” he answers as he stops in my room and stares at my new landscapes. “I see you’ve been busy.” He walks through the open doorway and rubs the back of his neck.
“Well, I got a little bored and decided to finish the room.”
His fingers reach out to touch Alyssa’s face. “It’s beautiful. She looks happy.”
“That’s because she’s free. That would make me pretty stoked.”
He grasps at the high collar of his uniform and pulls it open as he turns to face me. “Up for some dinner?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
He pulls off the top layer of his uniform. A simple white T-shirt clings to him underneath. “Let me change first. This freaking uniform is killing me.” He walks into his room and begins to change without closing the door.
Okay, I can handle this. Then he drops his shirt. Then again, maybe not.
“So where did Bruno go?” I keep my head down but watch him through my lashes. It’s impossible to rip them away from his form.
“He went home for the night. Don’t you worry. He’ll be back tomorrow,” he says while turning to face me.
“Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure. Will he be the only one who guards my door while you’re gone?”
“Yeah, he’s the only one I’d want here. Thank God Sutton has good contacts to get him in. Why do you care?” His shirt and pants are off, and I see his muscular legs as he stands in his white underwear.
I turn my head so I don’t look like I’m gawking. I’m completely gawking though. “I was just curious. Geez, cut me some slack, will you?” I say with force.
He pulls on light-gray sweatpants but stays shirtless.