My hand finds my mouth and I bite down on my fist to keep from making a sound.
A groan.
A moan.
A laugh.
Anything could spill out, and I don’t want Adam to think I’m losing my mind. I squeeze my eyes closed and I see it all there again. It’s like the residual effects of staring directly at the sun. I turn to face the refrigerator tug it open, swinging the door back and forth, fanning my flushed face.
To be fair, it has been a long time since I’ve seen a naked man, but I know that’s not why I’m reacting the way I am. I’ve dated some cute guys, but I’ve never seen a man like Adam in the flesh. That one second of accidental flashing basically ruined me for any man that might come after him.
The bathroom door opens and I jerk forward toward the sink. By the time Adam walks by, I’m pretending to wash my water glass again.
“That glass looks squeaky clean.”
I drop it on the drying rack and turn, forcing myself to look his way. I can do this. I can be normal.
He’s back to wearing his work clothes, but what does it matter? He’s the sun, remember? Every time I blink, he’s back in the doorway of that bathroom.
“I’m really, really sorry,” I say again, hoping he won’t hold this against me.
He smirks as he uses one of the kitchen towels to dry his hair. “It took you quite a while to look away.”
“Did it?” I croak.
“I guess I know where Mouse gets his manners.”
“Well you weren’t exactly quick to cover up!”
“I mean, you basically catalogued all of my scars.”
There’s no point in trying to hide my blush. “Yeah, well, sue me. I was frozen in shock.”
“Were you? Or was it something else?”
His green eyes find mine and I want so desperately to look away as I ask, “What do you mean?”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Never mind. I need to run or I’m going to be late.”
Oh, right, the meeting—the whole reason he showered here in the first place.
I walk him to the door and try to find something to say to ease the awkward tension between us. Real estate is the only subject that seems acceptable. “So Saturday is still good for you?”
“What?” he asks, confused.
“For houses?”
“Oh, right. Yeah. Send me a text and let me know where to meet you.”
I hold the door open and he steps past. I think he’s going to leave without either of us saying another word, but something makes me want to be brave, to catch him off guard. I think he wanted me to be honest earlier, to say what I was really thinking.
“And Adam?”
He looks over his shoulder.
“If the tables were turned, I doubt you would have looked away either.”
I think my line is killer, one of those moments in life when you say the exact right thing at the exact right time—right up until I get a text from Adam Saturday morning, canceling our meeting.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MADELEINE
Adam had a good excuse for canceling on me: one of his patients’ owners called with an emergency and Adam agreed to go into the clinic to check it out. He didn’t mention what the emergency was in his brief text, but it’s not like I could question it. He dropped everything on a Saturday to aid a helpless animal. Like I said, it’s a good excuse.
The problem is, he hasn’t bothered to get back to me about a rain check. Over the last few days, I’ve called and left him voicemails, shot over a pair of professionally worded emails, and even slipped and texted him twice when my common sense had already gone to sleep for the night.
In return, I’ve received nada. Zilch.
We are right back to square one, and it makes no sense. When we’re together, he’s friendly, even borderline flirtatious. When we’re apart, he doesn’t just act different, he falls off the face of the earth altogether.
At first, I give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s really bad at communication. Maybe he likes to live his life unencumbered by technology. Maybe he’s so embarrassed about me seeing his nether region that he can’t work up the courage to text me back.
Too bad none of those lame excuses stick. There’s something up with Adam, and I think I know what it is.
He likes me.
The clues fit. He flirts with me when we’re together, he got jealous over the cowboy at the singles event, and he came over to run with Mouse. Why would he do any of that if he didn’t like me?
Daisy doesn’t agree.
“It sounds like you’re trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.”
I wave away her pessimism. “Listen, you didn’t see the way he acted around me the other day. He came over to run with Mouse and he was looking at me almost like he wanted me.”
She hums in disbelief. What a good friend. “Are you sure he wasn’t just horny? I mean, how well do you know this guy? If he liked you, he’d text you back.”
I check my phone and the only text waiting for me is from the local pizza shop, offering me a coupon for being such a loyal customer. That’s it, no more giving my number out to pizza places; the only text I want to receive is from Adam. Still, I save the coupon.
“Shouldn’t we go in?” Daisy asks, leaning over to eye the front of the YMCA through my passenger-side window.
It’s the day of the second puppy training class and we’re sitting in the parking lot, waiting for class to start. We stopped for sandwiches on the way over. I think I told Daisy it would be a picnic, but instead we sat in my car. I finish off the last bite and sneak a small piece of turkey back to Mouse.
“Not yet. Last time Mouse was overeager with all the other puppies and everyone acted so offended. I want to minimize the amount of time I have to be around them.”
“Is that Lori?!” she asks, pressing her face closer to the glass.
“Oh, yeah.” I roll my eyes. “She came last time to try to convince Adam to hire her as an agent. I’m not sure why she came back.”
“Her dog looks really old.”
“That’s because it is.”
I brought Daisy with me to puppy training class because I need someone else to evaluate the situation with Adam and tell me if I’m reading too much into things or not. She’s the perfect person for the job because she isn’t one of those friends who only tell you what you want to hear. When I tried to pull off bangs in eighth grade, she politely told me I looked like a buffoon and instructed me to immediately grow them out. I’ve trusted her implicitly ever since.
When we walk in, there are even more women than there were for the first class. The twelve measly chairs positioned in a half-circle have long been claimed, and the unlucky few who weren’t able to grab a seat linger around the perimeter.
“Wow. Is Adam a world-renowned dog trainer or something?” Daisy asks, eyeing the group of women as we head toward the back.
I level her with a knowing glare. “No, he’s an eligible bachelor in a small town.”
As if to prove my point, when Adam walks through the gymnasium doors a few minutes later wearing jeans and a Hamilton Animal Clinic t-shirt, a hush falls over the crowd. Everyone sits up a little straighter, pushes their boobs out a little more. Daisy laughs and the sound carries around the entire room. Adam follows it to the source and his green gaze locks with mine. My stomach flips and I hold my breath. It’s been nearly a week since he was in my apartment, and I’m not quite sure how to act. I want to be annoyed with him for not replying to my texts, for completely disappearing yet again, but then he breaks out in a wide, devastating smile. He’s happy to see me. My heart soars and Daisy has to elbow me in the side to get me to look away.
“See?!” I tell her.
“Yeah, okay. He looked really happy to see you, but remember how he hasn’t bothered to call or text you back in the last few days?”
I remember, but now that he’s here in the flesh, I can’t seem to hold on to any of the anger that was b
rewing over the last few days. Adam is here, and that’s all that matters. The training class starts and he spreads us out around the room. There’s more clicker training, and he adds on a few new tricks to today’s repertoire. We’re supposed to be working on the stay command when he makes his way over to Daisy and me.
“How is Mouse coming along?” he asks, reaching down to pet him.
I beam. “Really good. He’ll sit and stay for a few seconds now before going crazy.”
He laughs. “That’s to be expected in the beginning. He’ll get better at it the more you work with him.”
“Well then, we better get back to it.”
He nods, but he doesn’t drop eye contact, doesn’t move to check on the next student.
“I’m sorry about the last few days. I know you’ve been trying to get in touch about a rain check date and—”
“No worries.” I smile. “Really, it’s fine.”
His brows furrow as if he’s surprised to be let off the hook so easily. “Right, okay. Well maybe I’ll catch you after class?”
I smile. “Of course.”
Daisy has a bone to pick with me as soon as he’s not within earshot.
“Way to cave within the first five seconds of seeing him!”
“He seemed remorseful,” I say with a shrug.
“No,” she whispers, “you just saw those eyes and that jawline and you turned into putty.”
I consider her accusation. Adam does have a good jawline.
“Have you ever considered that maybe I’m a mature adult who knows how to handle herself in public?”
“No. I’ve never once considered that.”
Silly Daisy. If she were in my position, she would have laid into Adam and demanded some sort of excuse, but I don’t need an excuse.
“You can see that he’s interested though, right?”
She narrows her eyes, mulling over her answer before replying, “He does seem overly friendly with you compared to the other students.”
“And did you see the way he smiled at me when he first walked in?”
She nods reluctantly. “I saw.”
I try not to squeal.
“But why do you want him to like you so bad? Are you going to do something about it?”
“Oh.” I hadn’t thought that far ahead; I just wanted to be right about him liking me. “No, I probably won’t do anything.”
“Really?”
“Do I have to do something about it?”
“Not necessarily, but aren’t you on all those apps and attending singles events because you want to find someone to spend time with?”
“Right, sure, but Adam told me the other day that he’s not ready to date.”
She laughs. “Bullshit. He’s been eyeing you all class like you’re dipped in chocolate sauce and he’s got a serious sweet tooth.”
“Gross.”
“I’m serious. Whatever he meant by that dating comment, I don’t think it still applies. He wants you.”
When she puts it that way, it makes a lot of sense. Adam is single. I’m single. He seems interested, and I’m definitely interested. The only problem I foresee is that I will be working with him at the agency. Daisy doesn’t seem to think that’s a problem though.
“So you show him a few houses, earn a commission, and then date him. He agreed to be your client prior to you being interested in him. It’s not really a conflict of interest, in my opinion. Has Helen mentioned anything about a non-fraternization policy?”
I snort. “Are you kidding me? She actively wants us to get close with our clients. I think Lori has dated like five of the men she’s sold homes to in the past.”
“See?! It’s perfect.”
I nod, absorbing her suggestions. “So you think I should stay after class?”
“You have to. I already asked Lucas to come pick me up.”
Thirty minutes later, Daisy is gone and all the other attendants are filtering out of the gymnasium doors toward the parking lot. I linger behind with Mouse as Adam chats with a woman who has a question about clicker training. It feels a bit awkward, especially when she drags on and on, acting as if she’s never even heard of the concept before. It’s just the three of us and she doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave.
“I tell you what, why don’t you come early next class, and we’ll go over it a little bit more,” Adam suggests.
“Oh really?” she asks. “That would be great. Thank you so much.”
She’s overly eager and I want to shoo her away. Instead, I focus on Mouse and give him a little bit of overtime training—Lord knows he needs it.
A few minutes later, the gymnasium door closes and I look up to see Adam walking toward me. For a moment, I think maybe I shouldn’t have stayed behind.
“Need help cleaning up?” I ask, tilting my head toward the dozen chairs. There are also a few cones set out for walking exercises. In all, it would take someone five minutes to clean it up. Together, we do it in three.
“Thanks,” Adam says, accepting the last chair from me so he can stack it against the wall.
“No problem.”
“So…”
He laughs and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “So.”
It’s my chance to make a move. It’s either now or never.
I take a step toward him and bite the bullet.
“Listen, Adam, I was wondering if you’d want to get dinner or something this week?”
My invitation appears to catch him off guard. He tugs a hand through his hair, looks away, and then glances back with narrowed eyes. “To go over house stuff?”
I smile. “We can talk about that if you want, but I was thinking something a little more personal.”
“Like a date?”
“Sure, like a date,” I reply, my voice a little more flirtatious than I’m used to. “I know you told me the other day you weren’t really ready, but you and I don’t have to make a big deal—”
He sighs and glances away just for a second before shaking his head. “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
My smile doesn’t even falter because I don’t think I’ve heard him correctly. It’s ten long seconds before I register his response and my smile slowly fades.
“Wait, did you say no?”
“I’m not dating right now.”
I take a tiny step back and regroup.
“So just to be clear, you’re saying no.”
My voice is still deceptively calm, though every nerve ending is firing off inside of me, telling me to run. It makes no sense. He likes me…doesn’t he? Isn’t that why he’s been acting so weird lately?
“Madeleine, listen.” He comes closer. “It’s not you. Believe me, it has nothing to do with you.”
I hold out my hands to block him from getting nearer. “Oh God, please stop while you’re ahead.”
“What? It’s the truth. You think I’m spouting off bullshit? I’m not dating right now. I just got out of an engagement. I need some time to figure out my life.”
I hear nothing but stale, useless words. “You need some time to figure out your life? Go hike the freakin’ Appalachian Trail! If you’re not ready for anything, why have you been flirting with me? Running with my dog?”
He reaches out, but I take another step back.
“I admit, I might have led you on a little bit, but that wasn’t my intention.”
I point my finger at him accusingly. “You were jealous about that cowboy. You didn’t want me to go home with him.”
His expression looks pained, like he doesn’t want to hurt me. “You’re right, I didn’t want you to go home with him.”
I laugh, and it sounds aggressive and cruel. “So just to get it straight—you don’t want to date me, but you don’t want other people to date me either?”
He doesn’t reply.
“Do you like me or was I deluding myself?”
He steps forward and grips my arms so I can’t pull back. Finally, I’m as close as he wants me to be, and I
have no choice but to stand right there in front of him, inhaling his body wash. It’s nauseating and perfect. I can’t stand it, and yet I want to let my head fall against his chest and sigh.
“I like you. If I were dating right now, I’d want to be with you, okay?” He bends down so his gaze meets mine. Even still, I do my best to focus on the gym floor. “The reason I’ve been ignoring your calls and emails is because I like you too much. Of course I want to date you. Of course I want to go to dinner. I want to go back to that night in your apartment and skip the stupid chamber of commerce meeting. Do you get it? I want you, but it’s not the right time. I’ve been trying to give us both some space.”
“I get it. If we were to date, I’d just be your rebound girl.” He bristles at the assessment, but it’s the truth. “Have you dated anyone since Olivia? Have you even had a one-night stand?”
He barely shakes his head.
I yank my arms free from his hold. This is too much. I’m at my limit. My apartment, my car, my job, my love life—there isn’t a single thing that isn’t in shambles.
“This makes so much sense,” I say, more to myself than to him. “Why wouldn’t I go for a man who is completely uninterested in dating? This is perfect.”
I toss my hands in the air and whip around to grab Mouse. I want to leave now.
“Madeleine—”
He’s following behind me, trying to get me to listen.
“It’s not you, it’s me,” I mumble under my breath. “Daisy is going to have a field day. I can’t believe she talked me into this.”
“Madeleine, you’re taking this personally.”
“Of course I’m taking this personally!” I shout just as I reach Mouse and grab hold of his leash.
It’s a couple dozen steps to the exit and Adam beats me there, barricading the door so I can’t leave.
“Oh, very mature,” I chide, crossing my arms and waiting for him to move.
“I’m not letting you leave until you understand where I’m coming from.”