CHAPTER X.
Yearnings for Military Fame--What I Want is a Chance--I Feel I Could Crush the Rebellion--My Chance Arrives--I am Crushed--The Rebellion Remains Pretty Well.
As I could get no one to accept my resignation as corporal, which Itendered after my first service in that capacity, unloading a steamboat,I decided to post myself as to the duties of the position, so I borroweda copy of "Hardee's Tactics," and studied a good deal. Every placein the book that mentioned the word "corporal," had a particular andthrilling interest for me, and I soon got so it would have been easy forme to have done almost anything that a corporal would have to do. ButI was not contented to study the duty of a corporal. I read aboutthe "school of the company," and the "school of the regiment," and"battalion drills," and everything, until I could handle a regiment, ora brigade, for that matter, as well as any officer in the army, in mymind. This led me to go farther, and I borrowed a copy of a large bluebook the colonel had, the name of which I do not remember now, butit was all military, and told how to conduct a battle successfully. Istudied that book until I got the thing down so fine that I could havefought the battle of Gettysburg successfully, and I longed for a chanceto show what I knew about military science and strategy. It seemedwonderful to me that one small red-head could contain so much knowledgeabout military affairs, and I felt a pity for some officers I knew whonever had studied at all, and did not know anything except what theyhad picked up. I fought battles in my mind, day and night. Some nightsI would lay awake till after midnight, planning campaigns, layingout battle-fields, and marching men against the enemy, who foughtstubbornly, but I always came out victorious, and then I would go tosleep and dream that the President and secretary of war had got on tome, as it were, and had offered me high positions, and I would wakeup in the morning the same red-headed corporal, and cook my breakfast.Sometimes I thought it my duty to inform the government, in some roundabout way, what a bonanza the country had in me, if my talent could onlybe utilized by placing me where I would have a chance to distinguishmyself, and bring victory to our arms. I reflected that Grant, andSherman, and Sheridan, and all of the great generals, were oncecorporals, and by study they had risen.
There was not one of them that could dream out a battle, and a victoryany better that I could. All I wanted was a chance. Just give me menenough, and turn me loose in the Southern Confederacy, with that head ofmine, and the result would be all an anxious nation could desire.
My first chance came sooner than I expected. The next day a part ofthe regiment went out on a scout, to be gone a couple of days, and mycompany was along. I was unusually absorbed in thought, and wondered ifI would be given a chance to do anything. It seemed reasonable that ifany corporal was sent out with a squad of men, to fight, it would bean old corporal, while if there was any duty that was menial, the newcorporals would get it. The second day out we stopped at noon to letour horses rest, when little scouting parties that had been sent out ondifferent roads during the forenoon, began to come in. Many of them hadpicked up straggling rebels, and brought them to damp, and they werecarefully guarded, and the major, who was in command of our party, wasasking them questions, and pumping them to find out all he could. Iwent over and looked at them, and they were quite a nice looking lotof fellows, some being officers, with plenty of gold lace on their graysuits. They were home from the Confederate army on a leave of absence,probably recruiting. After talking with a rebel officer for a time themajor turned to the adjutant and said, "send me a corporal and tenmen." The adjutant started, on, and I followed him. I used to know theadjutant when he taught a district school, before the war, and I askedhim as a special favor to let me be the corporal. He said the detailwould be from my company, and if I could fix it with the orderlysergeant of my company it was all right. I rushed to my company andfound the orderly, and got him to promise if there was a detail from thecompany that day, I could go. Before the words were out of his mouth thedetail came, and in five minutes I reported to the major with ten men.The major simply told me that a certain rebel captain, from Lee's army,was reported to be at home, and his plantation was about four mileseast, and he described it to me. He told me to ride out there, surroundthe house, capture the captain, and bring him into camp.
No general ever received his orders in regard to fighting a battle, witha feeling of greater pride and responsibililty than I did my ordersto capture that rebel. We started out, and then for the first time Inoticed that there was another corporal in the squad with, me, andat once it occurred to me that he might claim a part of the gloryof capturing the rebel. I had heard of the jealousy existing betweengenerals, and how the partisans of different generals filled thenewspapers, after a battle, with accounts of the part taken by theirfavorites, and that the accounts got so mixed, up that the readercouldn't tell to whom the credit of success was due, and I decided totake prompt measure with this supernumerary corporal, who had evidentlygot in by mistake, so I told him he might go back to the regiment. Hesaid he guessed not. He had been detailed to go on the scout, and he wasgoing, if he knew himself, and he thought he did. He said when it comeright down to rank, he was an older corporal than I was, and could takecommand of the squad if he wanted to. I told him he was mistaken as tohis position. That if the major had wanted him to take charge of theexpedition, he would have given him the instructions, but as the majorhad given me the instructions, in a low tone of voice, nobody but myselfknew where we were going or what we were going for, and that I wasresponsible, and the first intimation I had from him that he wanted tomutiny, or relieve me from my command, I would have him shot at once.I told him he could go along, but he must keep his mouth shut, and obeyorders. He said he would obey, if he felt like it. We moved on, and Iwould have given a month's pay if that corporal had not been there. In ashort time we were in sight of the house, and at a cross road I told thecorporal to take one man and stop there, until further orders, and ifany rebel came along, to capture him. He was willing enough to staythere, because there was a patch, of musk melons just over the fence. Imoved my remaining eight men to a high piece of ground near the house,and halted, to look over the field of battle. Pulling a spy glass frommy pocket, which I had borrowed from the sutler, I surveyed, as nearlike a general as possible, the situation. On one side of the housewas a ravine, which I decided must be held at all hazards, and afterstudying my copy of tactics a moment, I sent an Irishman over there tohold the key to the situation, and told him he might consider himselfthe Iron Brigade. The lay of the ground reminded me much of pictures Ihad seen of the battle of Bull Run, and the road on which I had leftthe corporal and one man, was the road to Washington, on which we wouldretreat, if overcome by the enemy. To the right of the ravine, which washeld by the Iron Brigade, I noticed a hen-house with a gate leading backto the nigger quarters, and I called a soldier and told him to make adetour behind a piece of woods, and at a signal from me, the waving ofmy right arm, to charge directly to the gate of the hen-house, andhold it against any force that might attempt to carry it, and to letno guilty man escape. Fifteen years afterwards Gen. Grant used thoseself-same words, "Let no guilty man escape," and they became historic,but I will take my oath I was the first commander to use the words,when I sent that man to hold the gate of the hen-house. That man Idenominated the First Division. Farther to the right was a field ofsweet potatoes, in which was a colored man digging the potatoes. I senta Dutchman to hold that field, with their right resting on the left ofthe First Division, located at the gate of the hen-house, whose rightwas supposed to rest on the left of the Iron Brigade, the Irishman whocommanded the ravine. Then I turned my attention to the left of thebattle-field, placed one man at the milk-house, with his left resting onthe right of the Irishman, and a man at the smoke-house. This left threemen, one of whom I appointed an aid de camp, one an orderly and theother I held as a reserve, at a cotton gin. When I had got my army intoposition, I sat under a tree and reflected a little, and concluded thatthe Iron Brigade was in rather too exposed a position, s
o I sent my aidde camp to order the Iron Brigade to move forward, under cover of theravine, and take a position behind a mule-shed. The aide soon returnedand reported that the Iron Brigade had taken off his shirt and kanoodleda negro woman to wash it for him, and would not be able to move untilthe shirt was dry.
This altered my plans a little, but I was equal to the emergency, andordered my reserve to make a detour and take the mule-shed, and hold ituntil relieved by the Iron Brigade, which would be as soon as his shirtwas dry, and then to report to me on the field. Then I took my aide andorderly, and galloped around the lines, to see that all was right. Ifound that the First Division, holding the gate of the hen-house, waswell in hand, though he had killed five chickens, and had them strappedon his saddle, and was trying to cut off the head of another with hissabre. He said he thought I said to let no guilty hen escape. I foundthe Iron Brigade dismounted, his shirt hung on a line to dry, and thecolored woman had been pressed into the Federal service, and was fryinga chicken for the Brigade. I told him to get his shirt on as soon as itwas dry, and move by forced marches, to relieve the force holding themule-shed, and the Iron Brigade said he would as soon as he had hisdinner. I found the Division composed of the Dutchman, stubbornlyholding the sweet-potato field, and he was eating some boiled ham andcorn-bread he had sent the nigger to the house after, and he had abushel of sweet-potatoes in a sack strapped to his saddle. The forceat the milk-house had a fine position, and gave me a pitcher ofbutter-milk, which I drank with great gusto. I do not know as there isanything in butter-milk that is stimulating, but after drinking itmy head seemed clearer, and I could see the whole battle-field, andanticipate each movement I should cause to be made. I was so pleasedwith the butter-milk, on the eve of battle, that I ordered the secondDivision to fill my canteen with it, which he did. Then I rode back tomy headquarters, where I started from, having ridden clear aroundthe beleaguered plantation. Presently the reserve returned to me andreported that he had been relieved by the Iron Brigade at the mule-shed,whose shirt had become dry, and who had given the reserve a leg offried chicken, and a corn dodger. I took the leg of chicken away from myreserve, eat it with great relish, and prepared for the onslaught, thereserve picking some persimmons off a tree and eating them for lunch.I was about to order the different divisions and brigades of my army toadvance from their different positions, and close in on the enemy, whena colored man came out of the house and moved toward me, signallingthat he would fain converse with me. I struck a dignified attitude, bythrowing my right leg over the pommel of the saddle, like a hired girlriding a plow-horse to town after a doctor, and waited. When he came upto me, he said, "Massa wants to know what all dis darn foolishness isabout. He says if you all don't go away from here he will shoot de liverouten you all." I told the negro to be calm, and not cause me to resortto extreme measures, and I asked him if his master was at home. He saidhe was, and he was a bad man wid a gun. He had killed plenty of menbefore the war, and since the war he had killed more Yankees than enoughto build a rail-fence around the plantation. I did not exactly like thereports in regard to the enemy. I told the colored man to take a flag oftruce to his master, and tell him I would like an interview. The coloredman went to the house, and I sent for the Iron Brigade to report tome at once, in light marching order, and the Irishman came riding upwithout any shirt on. I caused the Brigade to put on his shirt, when Isent him to the house, to follow the nag of truce and feel of the enemy.He went to the house, and was evidently invited in, for he disappeared.I waited half an hour for him, and as he did not show up, I called theSecond Division, and sent the Dutchman to the house. The Second Divisionwent in, and did not come out. I ordered the whole right wing of my armyto deploy to my support, and the fellow at the hen-house gate came, andI sent him in after the Irishman and the Dutchman. He didn't come back,and I sent an orderly after the force stationed at the milk-house, andhe came, and I sent him, with the same result. It was evident I wasfrittering away my command, with no good result, so I looked at mytactics, and decided to hold a council of war. My aide, orderly, andreserve, three besides myself, composed the council of war. We threewere in favor of ordering up the other corporal and man from thecross-roads, but I opposed it. I did not want the other corporal to haveany finger in the pie. So I decided that the four of us would go in abody to the house and demand the surrender of the rebel captain. Werode down the lane where the other men had gone, and it was a questionwhether we ever came back alive. I thought they had a trap door in thehouse, which probably let the soldiers down suddenly into a dungeon.Certainly unless there was something of the kind my men would have comeback. As we dismounted at the door; and walked up the steps, the dooropened and a fine looking rebel officer appeared smiling.
"Come in, Captain, with your men, and join me in a glass of wine," saidthe rebel.
I had never been called "Captain" before, and it touched me in a tenderspot. The rebel evidently thought I looked like a captain, and I wasproud. He had probably watched my maneuvers, and the way I handled mymen, and thought I was no common soldier.
"Well, I don't care if I do," said I, and we walked into a splendid oldroom, and were bidden to be seated.
"Hello, Corp," said my Iron Brigade, as he took his legs down from atable, and poured out a glass of whisky from a bottle near him, "This isthe divil's own place for an aisy life."
"Gorporal," said my Dutch fellow soldier, as he poured out a glass ofschnapps, "Led me indroduce you mit dot repel. He is a tasy, unddon'd you forgot aboud it. Mishder repel, dot ish der gorporal fun mygumpany."
The rebel smiled and said he was glad to see me, and hoped I was well,and would I take wine, or something stronger. I took a small glass ofwine, but the rest of the fellows took strong drink, and my Iron Brigadewas already full, and the Dutchman was getting full rapidly. Finally Itold the rebel officer that I did not like to accept a man's hospitalitywhen I had such an unpleasant duty to perform as to arrest him, butcircumstances seemed to make it necessary. He said that was all right.In times of war we must do many things that were unpleasant. We tookanother drink, and then I told him I was sorry to inconvenience him,but he would have to accompany me to camp. He said certainly, he hadexpected to be captured ever since he saw that the house was surrounded,and while at first he had made up his mind to take his rifle and killus all from the gallery of the house, he had thought better of it, andwould surrender without bloodshed. What was the use of killing any moremen? The war was nearly over, and why not submit, and save carnage. Itold him that was the way I felt about it. Then he said if I would waituntil he retired to an adjoining room and changed his linen, he would beready. I said of course, certainly, and he went out of a door. I waitedabout half an hour, until it seemed to me the rebel had had time tochange all the linen in the state of Alabama. The Iron Brigade had goneto sleep on a lounge, and the German troop was full as a goat, and someof the others were beginning to feel the hospitality.
"I beg your pardon for intruding," said I, as I opened the door andwalked into the room the rebel had entered. "Great Scott, he is gone!"
My army, all except the Iron Brigade and the Dutchman, followed me, andthe room was empty. A window was up, through which he had escaped. Wesearched the house, but there was no rebel captain. On going to thefront door I found that the horse belonging to the iron brigade wasgone, and that the saddle girths of all the other horses had beenunbuckled, so we would be delayed in following him. The Irishman wasawakened, and when he found his horse was gone, he sobered up and wentto the pasture and borrowed a mule to ride.
It took us half an hour to fix our saddles, so we could ride, and thenwe sadly started for camp. How could I face the major, and report tohim that I had met the rebel captain, talked with him, drank withhim, enjoyed his hospitality, and then let him escape? I felt that mymilitary career had come to an inglorious ending. "We rode slow, becausethe Iron Brigade was insecurely mounted on a slippery bare-backed mule.As we neared the corporal and one man, that I had left to guard thecross-roads, I noticed th
at there was a stranger with them, and onriding closer what was my surprise to find that it was the rebelcaptain, under arrest. So the confounded corporal, whom I had left thereso he would be out of the way, and not get any of the glory of capturingthe rebel, had captured him, and got _all_ the glory. I was hurt, butputting on a bold military air, like a general who has been whipped, Isaid:
"Ah, corporal, I see my plan has worked successfully. I arranged it sothis prisoner would run right into the trap."
"Yes," said the corporal, throwing away a melon rind that he had beenchewing the meat off of, "I saw his nibs coming down the road, and Ithought may be he was the one you wanted, so I told him to halt or Iwould fill his lungs full of lead pills, and he said he guessed hewould halt. He said it was a nice day, and he was only trying one ofthe Yankee cavalry horses, to see how he liked it." "Here, you murdherin'divil, get down aff that harse," said the Iron Brigade, who had gotawake enough to see that the rebel was on his horse. "Take this mule,and lave a dacent gintleman's harse alone."
The rebel smiled, dismounted, gave the Irishman his horse, mounted themule, and we started for camp. I was never so elated in my life as I waswhen I rode into camp with that rebel captain beside me on the mule. Theobject of the expedition had been accomplished, a little different, itis true, from what I had expected and planned, but who knew that it wasnot a part of my plan to have it turn out as it did? I reflectedmuch, and wondered if it was right for me to report the capture of theConfederate and say nothing about the part played by the other corporal.That corporal was no military strategist, like me. It was just a streakof luck, his capturing the rebel. He was leaning against the fence whereI left him, eating melons, and the rebel came along, and the corporalquit chewing melon long enough to obey my orders and arrest the fellow.By all rules of military law I was entitled to the credit, and I wouldtake it, though it made me ashamed to do so. How-ever, generals didthe same thing. If a major-general was in command, and ordered abrigadier-general to do a thing and it was a success, the major-generalgot the credit in the newspapers. So I rode into camp and turned myprisoner over to the major as modestly as possible, with a few words ofpraise of my gallant command. Hello, Jim, said the major to the rebel.
Hello, Maje, said the rebel.
"Better take off them togs now, and join your company, said the major.
"I guess so," said the rebel, and he took off his rebel uniform, and themajor handed him a blue coat and pair of pants, and he put them on.
I was petrified. The fact was, the rebel was a sergeant in our regiment,who had been detailed as a scout, and had been making a trip into therebel lines as a spy. I had made an ass of myself in the whole business,and he would tell all the boys about it. I went back to my companycrushed.