CHAPTER XXI.
I Go on a Scouting Expedition--My Horse Dies of Poison-- I Turn Horse-Thief--I Capture a Church, Congregation, and Ministers, but I Spare the Communion Wine.
Let's see, the last chapter left me with a million dollars, more orless, of confederate money in my possession, and yet I had not enoughto buy a square meal. I think there was no one thing that caused, thepeople of the confederate states, outside of their army, to realize thehopelessness of their cause, along in '64, as much as the relativevalue of confederate money and greenbacks. Of course the confederatesoldiers, poor fellows, realized the difference some, when they couldget hold of greenbacks, but the people of the south who did not haverations furnished them, and who had to skirmish around and buy somethingto live upon, early learned that a greenback was worth "two in thebush," as it were. No community in the south was more loyal to theconfederacy than the people of Montgomery, Alabama. They tried to useconfederate currency as long as there was any hope, and they tried hardto despise the greenbacks; but when it got so that a market basketfull of their own currency was looked upon with suspicion by their owndealers in eatables, and a greenback was sought after by the dealer, andits possessor was greeted with a smile while the overloaded possessorof confederate currency was frowned upon, more in sorrow than in anger,however, a wild desire took possession of the people to get hold of thehated greenbacks; and a soldier or army follower who had a good supplyof greenbacks was met more than half way in reconciliation; and littlejobs were put up to get the money that made many ashamed, but they hadto have greenbacks. Many would have given their lives if confederatemoney could have been as good as the money of the invaders, but it wasnot and never could be, and it was not an hour after the enemy was inMontgomery before people who had been loyal to the south up to thathour and believed in its currency, went back on it completely, andthey cherished the greenback and hugged it to their bosoms like an oldfriend. They had rather had gold, but good green paper would buy so muchmore than any currency they had known for years, that they snatched itgreedily. And many of them enjoyed the first real respect for theUnion that they had had for four years, when they met the well-fed andwell-clothed Union soldiers, who did not seem as bad as they had beenpainted, the poorest one of which had more money in his pockets than therichest citizen of supposed wealth. The people seemed surprised to meetwell-dressed private soldiers who could converse on any subject, and whoseemed capable of doing any kind of business. Fires broke out in manyplaces in the city, and Union soldiers went to work with the primitivefire apparatus at hand and put out the fires. Locomotives had beenthrown from the track of the railroad in an attempt to destroy them, andprivate soldiers were detailed to put the locomotives together and runthem, which they did, to the surprise of the people. An officer wouldtake charge of a quantity of captured property, and he would detail thefirst half-dozen soldiers he met to go and make out an invoice ofthe property, and the boys would do it as well as the oldest southernmerchant. A planter that could not speak anything but French would cometo the captain, of a company to complain of something, and the captainafter vainly trying to understand the man, would turn to some soldierin his company and say, "Here Frenchy, talk to this man, and see whathe wants," and the soldier would address the planter in French, politely,and in a moment the difficulty would be settled, and the planterwould go away bowing and smiling. Any language could be spoken by thesoldiers, and any business that ever was transacted could be done bythem. A soldier printer visited the office of a city paper, and in aconversation with the editor informed him that there were editors enoughin his regiment to edit the New York _Herald_. At first the better classof citizens, the old fathers in Israel, of the confederacy, stoodaloof from the new soldiers in blue, expecting them to be insolent, asconquerors are sometimes supposed to be; but soon they saw that the boyswere as mild a mannered and friendly and jolly a lot as they ever saw,not the least inclined to gloat over their fallen enemy, and at timesacting as though they were sorry to make any trouble; and it was notlong before boys in blue and citizens in gray were playing billiardstogether, with old gentlemen keeping count for them, old fellows, who aweek before would have been insulted if any one had told them they wouldever speak to a Yankee soldier. The second day the southern ladies, whohad kept indoors, came out and promenaded the beautiful streets, andseemed to enjoy the sight of the bright uniforms, and before nightacquaintances had been made, and it did not cause any remark to seeUnion officers and soldiers waiting with ladies, talking with animation,and laughing pleasantly. It almost seemed, as though the war was over.
It was about this time that I stole my first horse. I had ridden horsesthat had been "captured" from the enemy, in fair fights, and that hadbeen accumulated in divers ways by the quartermaster, and issued to themen, but I never deliberately stole a horse. Two or three companiesof my regiment had gone off on a scout, to be gone a couple of days,leaving the command at Montgomery, and one day we were encamped on anold abandoned field, taking dinner. The horses and mules were grazingnear us, and there was no indication that any epidemic was about tobreak out. We were about sixty miles from Montgomery, and were cookingour last meal, expecting to make a forced march and be back beforemorning. I had got the midday meal for Jim and myself cooked, the bacon,sweet potatoes, coffee and so forth, and spread upon a horse blanket onthe ground, and we were just about to sit down to eat, when a mule thathad been browsing near us, and snooping into our affairs, attractedour attention. All of a sudden the animal became rigid, and stood up asstiff as possible, then its muscles relaxed, and it became limber, andwhirled around and brayed, backed up towards us, and as we rushed awayto keep from being kicked, the mule fell over in a fit directly on ourbeautifully cooked dinner, rolled over on the bacon and potatoes andcoffee, and trembled and brayed, and died right there. I looked at Jimand Jim looked at me. "Well, condam a mule, anyway," said Jim. "Thatanimal has been ready to die for two hours, and just to show itscussedness, it waited until we had our dinner cooked, the last morsel wehad, and then it fell in a fit, and expired on our dining table." I madesome remark not complimentary to the mule as a member of society andwe went to the corpse and pulled it around to see if we couldn't savea mouthful or two that could be eaten. We could not, as everything wascrushed into the ground. I suggested that we cut a steak out of themule, and broil it, but Jim said he was not going to be a cannibal, ifhe knew his own heart. While we were looking at the remains of our meal,my horse, the rebel horse that I had rode so many months, and loved so,which was hitched near, lay down, began to groan and kick, and in twominutes he was dead. Then Jim's horse went through the same performanceand died, and by that time there was a commotion all around camp, horsesand mules dying suddenly, until within half an hour there were only adozen animals alive, and forty cavalrymen, at least, were horseless. Thecamp looked like a battle field. Nobody knew what was the matter of theanimals, until an old negro, who lived near, came out and said, "You unsought to know better than to let you horses eat dat sneeze weed. Dat ispoison. Kills animals, just like rat poison." And then he showed us aweed, with a square stem, that grew there, and which was called sneezeweed. He said native animals would not touch it, but strange animals eatit because it was nice and green. Well, we were in a fix. The men werecalled together, and the major told them there was nothing to do but totake their saddles and bridles on their backs and walk to Montgomery,unless they could steal a horse. He advised us to scatter into partiesof two or three, enough to protect ourselves from possible attack, go oncross roads, and to plantations, forage for something to eat, and takethe first horse or mule we could find, and report to Montgomery as soonas possible. Jim and I, of course, decided to stand by each, other, andafter the men who had not lost their horses, had rode away, the fortydismounted men shouldered their saddles, and started in differentdirections, seeking some other men's horses. I never had realized thata cavalry saddle was so heavy, before. Mine seemed to weigh a ton. Westruck a cross road, and followed it for two or three mil
es, whenI called a council of war, with Jim. I told him that it was allfoolishness to lug those heavy saddles all over the SouthernConfederacy. If we succeeded in stealing horses, we could probably stealsaddles, also, or if not we could get a sheepskin. I told Jim I wouldreceipt to him for his saddle, and then I would leave them in a fencecorner, and if we ever got back to the regiment I would report thesaddle lost in action.
Jim said I had a great head, and he consented, and we left our saddlesand moved on. Jim said that now we had only a bridle and a pair ofspurs, we were more like regularly ordained horse-thieves. He said themost successful horse-thief he ever knew in Wisconsin never had anythingbut a halter as his stock in trade. He would go out with a halter, witha rope on the end, pick up a horse, put the rope in the horse's mouth,and ride away, and nobody could catch him. I asked Jim if he didn't feelhumiliated, a loyal soldier, to class himself with horse-thieves. Hesaid when he enlisted he made up his mind to do nothing but shootrebels through the heart or the left lung. It was his idea to be asharpshooter, and aim at the button on the left breast of the enemy, butwhen he found that lots of the rebels didn't have any buttons on theircoats and that he might shoot all day at a single rebel and not hit him,and that shooting into them in flocks didn't seem to diminish the enemythe least bit, he had made up his mind to turn his hand to anything;and if the rebellion could be put down easier by his stealing horsesat thirteen dollars a month, he would do it if ordered. He said we wereonly putting in time, promenading around, and we should get our salaryall the same. And so we wandered on, talking the thing over. When wecame to a plantation we would walk all around it, and examine the woodsand swamps adjacent, because the people of the South had learned thata horse or a mule was not safe anywhere out of the most impenetrableswamp. It was dark when Jim and I decided to camp for the night, and wewent into a deserted cotton gin and prepared for a sleep. It was almostdark, and Jim said he had just seen a chicken, near a cabin, fly up in apeach tree to roost, and he was going to have the chicken as soon as itwas dark. I laid down on some refuse cotton, and Jim went out after thechicken. I had fallen asleep when Jim returned, and he had the chicken,and a skillet, and a couple of canteens of water. I crawled out of mynest and built a fire, while Jim dressed the chicken, and got the waterto boiling, and the chicken was put in. For three hours we boiled thechicken, but each hour made it tougher. I told Jim he might be a successas a horse-thief, but when it come to stealing tender poultry he was alamentable failure, but he said it was the only hen on the place, and ifI didn't want to eat it I could retire to my couch and he would set upwith the hen. I was so hungry, and the smell of the boiling hen was soSavory, that I remained awake, and at about midnight Jim announced thathe had succeeded in prying off a piece of the breast, so we spearedthe hen out of the water, laid it on the frame of a grindstone in thegin-house, and sat down to the festive board. "Will you have the lightor the dark meat," asked Jim, with a politeness that would have donecredit to a dancing-master. I told, him I preferred the dark meat, so hetook hold of one leg and I the other, and we pulled the hen apart. Thehen seemed to be copper-rivetted, for when I got a chunk of it down, andit chinked up a vacant place in the stomach, it did seem as though therewas nothing like hen to save life. We eat sparingly that night, becausewe were weak, and the hen was strong, and we laid down and sleptpeacefully, and awoke in the morning hungry. When the hen became cold,in the morning it _was_ tough. "Will you have some of the cold chicken,"said Jim, and I told him I would try a little. It was better than Indiarubber, and we made a breakfast and started on. It was Sunday. As wecame out to the main road, we saw people dressed up, that is, with cleanshirts. As ten o clock approached we could see colored people and white,wending their way to a little church in the pine woods. We kept outof sight, and waited, several parties passed us on horseback, some incarriages, and many on foot. Presently three soldiers of our scatteredparty came along carrying saddles, and we called them into the woods,where we were. I unfolded to them my scheme, which was to surround thatchurch, hold the worshippers as prisoners inside, while we stole thehorses that would be hitched to the fence. Jim kicked on it. He said hehad rather walk than to interfere with people who were enjoying theirreligion. He said he was never very pious himself, but his parents were,and he should always hate himself if he helped to raid that church. Theother fellows were for going for the horses. Pretty soon four moreof our boys came along, and we called them in. They had got on to thechurch services, and had their eyes on the horses. That made nine ofus, and as we were armed, we believed we could capture those old men andwomen and negroes, and get the horses.
Being a brevet officer I was placed in command of the party, and a planwas agreed upon. We were to scatter and surround the church, and ask thepeople outside to step inside, and then lock the door, and place a guardon three sides of the little old church where there were windows, butnot to fire a gun unless attacked, and not to speak disrespectfullyto any person. If there was any argument with anybody, I was to do thetalking. We decided to take about fifteen horses, if there were thatnumber there, because we would be sure to find some of our scatteredboys dismounted before we got far toward Montgomery, and it was a goodidea to take horses when we had a chance. Well, it was a job I didnot like, but what was a fellow to do. We were sixty miles fromheadquarters, on foot and out of meat. I had never been in a church rowbefore. It seemed as though religious worshippers ought to be exemptfrom war, with its wide desolation. But business was business. Wesurrounded the church, walking up quietly from different directions,and as we closed up on the sacred edifice half a dozen men, white andcolored, were standing in front, and two men were talking over a horsetrade. The minister was expounding the gospel, talking loud, and allelse was still. We invited the outsiders to go in, which they did withsome reluctance, the door was fastened on the outside, guards wereplaced, and the preaching stopped. The minister had been informed thatthe yankees had captured the place. There were only two sides of thechurch with windows, so two guards were sufficient, and the rest of uswent to work skinning the harnesses off the horses. A window was raisedand an old man stuck his head out and said, as one of the boys wasmounting an old mare belonging to him, "I forbid you touching thatmare." A carbine was pointed at the window, and the old man drew in hishead, and the window was slammed down.
I forbid you touching that mare 287]
We had got sixteen pretty good horses, when a window on the other sideopened, and the minister's head was put out, and he said, "In the nameof the church I command you to desist." He looked so fierce that Jim,who was on guard on that side, and who had objected to the scheme onaccount of its being a church, cocked his carbine and pointed it atthe minister and said, "gol darn you, dry up!" He dried up, the windowclosed and except for the heads at the windows, and faces looking verymad, all was quit. When we had got the horses strung out, and the menwere mounted, I looked in a carriage, accidentally, and saw a basket,covered over with a paper. The paper was a religious one, published atSavannah, and being a newspaper man, I looked at the leading editorial,which was headed, "The Lord will provide." I never took much stockin regular stereotyped editorials, but when I turned my eye from theeditorial to the basket, I realized than an editorial in a religiousnewspaper, was liable to contain much truth, for the basket was filledwith as fine a lunch as a man ever saw. It seemed that the people camequite a long distance to church, and brought their dinner, remaining tothe afternoon services. O, but I was hungry. I looked in several othercarriages, and found baskets in each. Every man in my party was ashungry as a she wolf, and I knew they would not leave a mouthful ifthey once got to going on the lunches, and as it wasn't the policy of mygovernment to take the bread from the mouths of Sunday-school children,I decided to divide the lunches. So I appointed Jim and an Irishman tohelp me, and we opened all the baskets and took half. Jim came to onebasket with two loaves of bread and two bottles of wine, and he stopped.
He said, "Pard, that lay-out in the big basket, with the silver pitcher,is for the communio
n. I'm a bold buccaneer of the Spanish main, but I'llbe cussed if I touch that."
The Irishman said no power on earth could get him to touch it, andhe crossed himself reverently, and we left the communion lay-out, andpassed the half we had taken from the baskets around among the boys, andthey eat as though a special providence had provided them with appetitesand means of satisfying them. After enjoying the meal the boys said weought to return thanks for the good things the pious people had providedfor us, so I went to the door of the church, opened it, and faced thecongregation. There were old and young, and some of them looked mad,and I didn't blame them. In a few well chosen remarks I addressedthe minister, telling him I regretted the circumstances, but it wasnecessary to do what we had done. We had tried to do it as pleasantly aspossible, but no doubt it seemed hard to them. I said we had got to goto Montgomery, and that if any of them who had lost their horses, wouldcome there within a few days, I had no doubt the proper authoritieswould return them their horses, but that they must stand the loss of ahalf of their lunch, as we had divided it up as square as we knew how.One young Confederate soldier, with an empty sleeve, who had come tochurch with his mother, and who could, no doubt, realize the situationbetter than the rest, said, "That is all right, Mr. Yankee. I woulddo the same thing, under the circumstances, if I was in your country,horseless and hungry." There were some murmurs of dissatisfaction, somesmiled at the situation, and we mounted and rode away. Before we wereout of sight the whole congregation was out of the church, under thepine trees, taking an account of stock, or lost stock, and no doubtsaying hard things of the Yankees. We traveled all day and nearly allnight, picked up some of our dismounted men, and arrived in Montgomerythe next day before noon. In a few days my one-armed confederatesoldier, who was home from the army in Virginia, having been dischargedfor disability, came to Montgomery with the people who had lost theirhorses at the church, and I had the satisfaction of seeing many of themeither receive their animals back, or vouchers from the quartermaster,by which they got pay from the government for the animals. And Ientertained the one-armed confederate for two days, and we became greatfriends. Two years ago I met him in Georgia, grown gray, and found himconnected with a Georgia railroad, and we had a great laugh over mycapture of the congregation.