"I don't know," Xander admitted.
"We're not bringing him with us," Riley said.
"Oh hell no," John said. "But to just leave him here… Isn't that even crueler?"
"We should just kill him," Riley said. Yosemite's eyes widened at her words and a blubbering sound began to escape him. "He was going to kill all of you."
"But who…"
Xander lifted his gun and fired one more shot into the center of Yosemite's forehead, effectively cutting off John's question. Yosemite fell lifelessly back on the ground. "We show him the same mercy he showed Josh," Xander said.
They all stood and stared at him until Riley bent to grab Yosemite's rifle off the ground; she tossed it to Carl. "Killing him now was probably far more mercy than he deserved," she said.
John's mouth was about as unhinged as an anaconda's as he gawked at Yosemite's unmoving body. Carl simply pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one. Xander stood and stared at the body, surprised to realize he felt nothing. He hadn't killed the man for revenge, he hadn't kill him for mercy, he had simply done it because it had to be done. He didn't feel hollow, didn't feel guilty, he just knew that he was a part of this world now. And there were things in this world he never would have done three months ago but would do again tomorrow if he had to.
"We should get out of here. I'm sure some of those things have heard the gunfire," Carl said as he bent and grabbed Toothpick's rifle.
"Not without Josh's body," Riley said. "He deserves to be buried. He deserves better than this place, with them."
"Not without Josh," Carl agreed.
Riley stepped over Yosemite's body and walked over to where Josh lay. Carl placed the rifles in the back of the truck and walked over to Riley with Xander and John. Tears formed in her eyes as she stared down at Josh's body. Xander rested a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. They'd lost their friend and they'd both just killed a man. All he craved right now was to touch her and know that even with all the awfulness surrounding them there was still so much love.
Riley was tough, he knew that, but there was a difference between being tough and being cold. This was the kind of world that could make a person incredibly cold. As long as they all still cared for one another they would be able to fight off that coldness. Her hand shook as she brushed back a strand of Josh's black hair from the undamaged side of his face.
"I'll take him," Xander offered.
Riley bowed her head and stepped aside to let him lift Josh off the ground. He and Carl loaded the body into the back of the truck and closed the doors. "We're not going to make it back to the camp tonight," Carl said. He rested his arm against the closed doors and glanced up at where the sun hung low in the sky.
"What do you suggest?" Xander inquired.
"We'll see if we can make it to the racetrack. There's got to be somewhere around there where we can hide the vehicles for the night."
"Am I still going to drive the truck?"
"I'll be fine to drive," John said from behind him. "My hand feels better and it's not like I have to shift."
Xander nodded and turned away from him. He was glad he wasn't going to be separated from Riley; he needed some time alone with her. Riley climbed into the passenger seat of the car and pulled open the glove box to dig out more bullets for her gun. "You ok?" Xander asked when he sat behind the wheel.
"It was what had to be done," she replied as she began to reload her gun.
"I know, but I'm asking about you."
She stared at the glove box before turning her head toward him. "I would have let them take the vehicles rather than risk accidentally hitting one of you, or causing one of them to start shooting at you. Not having the vehicles may have been a death sentence for us, especially for John and Josh but we've made it this far, we would have figured something out. So I was waiting until they left, but then they killed Josh and left me no choice. You didn't have a choice either. So yes, I'm ok with what happened. I should have shot sooner."
"It could have been even worse if you had."
"It could have, or it could have been better. Are you ok?" she inquired.
He pondered the question as he started the car. There was a hole in his chest from the loss of Josh, tears burned his eyes but he nodded and squeezed her hand. "It had to be done and the four of us are still here."
"We are."
"I love you."
"I love you too." Her smile was enough to ease some of the tension that continued to thrum through his body. "And because of that I'd do it again."
He smiled at her before pulling out of the open lot and following John down a series of back roads. Night was beginning to descend more rapidly upon them when they drove back by the track. Through the dark, he could see the shadows of the horses still grazing by the fence before John turned onto a road that twisted past a white fence and then a large grandstand. He saw a sign for valet parking near the front entrance as parking lots began to roll out on his left. John drove by the grandstand and past another parking lot on the right before stopping in front of a chain link fence running around another small building.
Carl climbed out of the passenger side of the truck and approached the gate. He tugged at the chain wrapped around the fence before pulling it free and pushing the gates inward. Standing aside, he waved the truck and car forward before closing the gates and sliding the chain back through. They drove further onto the track's grounds and up the first hill on their left. The road went through a grouping of barns. John took a left behind the first barn at the bottom of the hill. He parked outside of the barn doors and in front of a horse trailer.
"The gate wasn't locked?" Xander inquired as he climbed out of the car.
"Just dummy locked," Carl answered. "I think we'll be good here for the night."
"I think so too," Riley said, her gaze was on the back of the barn. "It's a big place to search."
"It is," Carl agreed.
They all broke out their flashlights and searched through the barn as rapidly as possible but it remained clear of everything other than dust, cobwebs, feed, and a bunch of horse equipment that he couldn't even begin to name.
Gathering supplies from the back of the truck, they settled outside of the barn for the night. None of them was willing to be inside where they would be unable to see something coming at them. Xander took first watch with Riley at the corners of the barn. He could see most of the barns, part of the track on his right, and the vehicles. Riley sat at the other corner where she could see anything coming in from the gate they'd entered through, the rest of the oval track, and part of the grandstand.
As darkness settled in around them, Xander couldn't shake the feeling that they weren't alone here, even though the only sound he heard was the chirrup of the crickets and the movement of the horses on the hillside to his left.
CHAPTER 25
John,
"There is still beauty in the world."
John didn't know where the voice came from as he turned to search the woods behind him. The darkness continued to reign supreme and the forest kept whatever secret it was holding. He supposed he should be unnerved that a voice was whispering to him but he was pretty sure he'd met his capacity for fear. Even now something worse than death could be ravaging his body so voices weren't really his biggest concern.
"There are still secrets."
"More secrets than beauty," he said to the voice and then felt like an idiot for talking to himself.
"Maybe that's one of the secrets," the voice whispered.
"Maybe what is?"
"That there is more beauty than secrets."
He'd never liked riddles, and he especially disliked them when he was standing at the edge of a forest staring into the gaping maw of nothing. Ridiculous, he thought, but he didn't say the word out loud.
Was it so ridiculous? He wondered as he ran his fingers through his hair. What did he know about anything; perhaps the voice was right. He really had lost his mind if he believed a voice whispering to him from
the woods was actually right, he decided. He glanced around but the others were all sound asleep around him.
From the corner of his eye, he saw a flicker in the woods but when he turned to look the flicker disappeared. "What if we're only able to see the ugly from here on out?" he inquired.
"Then you're not looking close enough."
"Oh for crying out loud," he muttered. There were a dozen swears running through his mind he would have rather said. He just wasn't so sure that cursing at a strange voice, coming from the woods, was the best idea. It might be the most absurd thing he'd ever experienced but he couldn't shake the feeling that the voice had something to say to him and he didn't want to piss it off.
"You just have to know where to look."
There was that flicker again. It danced amongst the trees like a firefly dancing between lily pads. He'd considered the voice odd but that flickering was as strange to him as a man with six heads would have been. "Am I supposed to look in the woods?" he inquired.
"You're supposed to look where you're willing to look."
Oh the wonderful fucking riddles again. If the voice had been corporal, and in front of him, he may have just strangled it even if it did have something to reveal. John frowned as the flickering grew brighter. It no longer resembled a lightning bug dancing within the woods but more like a lantern being led onward through the dark.
"I hate riddles," he muttered.
"Riddles are some of life's greatest mysteries. When one is solved yet another one can unfold."
"Sometimes mysteries are just plain annoying," John retorted before he could think.
The voice didn't take offense though as it released a tinkling laugh that drew his attention away from the lantern swaying in the distance. His mother's laugh had been like that, carefree and girlish both rolled together. A pang of yearning stabbed his chest. The image of his mother swelled so clearly within his mind that for a disconcerting minute he believed she stood before him. He almost reached out to touch her but even as the image burst forth, it was fading away. It had been weeks since he'd recalled her face so vividly, heard the sound of her laugh so clearly, and doing so now caused tears to burn hotly in his eyes.
What was this voice? Was it a savior or was it the devil coming to torment him?
John shook his head and took a step back. "That they are," the voice agreed. "And some of them are just waiting to be solved." The lantern within the woods grew into a bonfire that would have burnt the trees around it, if it had been real. Unlike a normal fire, this bonfire wasn't red. It had an odd yellowish hue to it that wasn't healthy or vibrant. Instead of being a welcoming yellow like the sun, it reminded him more of snot. "Some are so close to being solved that you can almost touch them. You just have to look."
John tore his eyes away from the woods to search for the voice. What was it talking about? Did he look for the voice or did he follow the light moving toward the center of the racetrack?
"Not here, you can't look here," the voice whispered. "There is nothing to see here."
"Then where?" he demanded growing more impatient as the strange fire began to rage higher.
"You have to open your eyes to be able to see."
Oh just wonderful, even more riddles. How on earth was he supposed to open his eyes to see when his eyes were already open and he could see perfectly fine? John continued to stare at the yellowish flames spreading throughout the woods. It was the strangest fire he'd ever seen as its flames never scorched anything around it.
"The answers aren't what you're expecting," the voice whispered.
"They never are," John muttered.
"Do not be afraid of them."
John frowned as he finally tore his attention away from the flames and sought out the voice again. "Who are you?" he demanded.
The voice had decided to choose silence as the light grew and shrank in a pulsating wave that reminded him of a lighthouse beam flashing through the fog. A breeze tickled the hair at the nape of his neck and cooled him in a way that he hadn't been cooled since all of this started.
"I am your friend. Wake up now."
John woke with a start. He almost fell over as he'd fallen asleep propped up against the barn door with his gun in his good hand. It was the last thing he'd planned on doing but sometime during the night, exhaustion had claimed him. He raised his head and blinked against the black night enshrouding him. He lifted his hand to rub at the kink that had formed in his neck from his awkward sleeping position. Awe filled him as he took in the stars twinkling above him while he worked on his neck. There really is beauty in the world too, he realized as he studied the constellations.
Inwardly, he searched himself for any sign of the sickness. His hand throbbed like a son of a bitch but he didn't think he had a fever and he definitely didn't feel like eating anyone so he guessed that was a bonus. He was thirsty though and his clothes stuck to him from the heat and his sweat.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Unlike the other voice, he knew exactly where this one came from. He turned toward where Riley sat at the corner of the barn with her elbows on her knees. "You should have woke me," he said.
"You needed your rest."
"So do you."
She shrugged and dropped her elbows off her knees. "But I'm the one that's still awake."
John glanced around him and realized the others were asleep too. How she had managed to stay awake, sitting in the darkness, was beyond him but her eyes were more alert than when he'd last seen her. "Did you fall asleep?"
"No. There's no sleep for me, not tonight." She said the last two words so low that he barely heard them.
John frowned as he pushed himself further up against the barn. He winced when he jarred his hand and his stiff body protested the movement. It didn't matter how uncomfortable he was, the sight of those stars in the sky was enough to make even the worst aches fade as a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. He found the Big Dipper before turning his attention back to Riley.
"You did what had to be done back there, with those men, you should try to sleep," he told her.
"I know that but it's more than what happened earlier, it's more than losing Josh even."
He winced at the reminder of Josh. Things had gone bad so fast, and they had lost another friend, one that had been far too young to die. "Then what is it?" he asked her.
Her fingers tapped against her shin as she frowned thoughtfully at the sky. Finally, she tore her attention away from the stars and to him. "It might sound crazy."
"You could tell me the ocean is red and I would go look to make sure. Nothing is crazy anymore," he told her. "There's little you could tell me now that I would find shocking."
"Didn't you know that the ocean really is red?" she asked with a tired smile.
"I didn't but I'll be sure to look. Tell me."
Riley sighed, rose to her feet and stepped away from the barn. "I'm not saying I'm psychic, or anything like that, because I'm definitely not. But sometimes I just get these feelings that something isn't right," she said. "Like I'll be driving down the road and I'll just know to slow down before rounding the next curve, or coming across the next U-turn area on the highway. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the feeling is right and there's a cop there. It saved me a lot on speeding tickets."
John frowned as her words made him recall his dream. "You're seventeen, how many speeding tickets could you have gotten in your lifetime?" He tried to sound light but he couldn't keep the tension from his voice.
Riley gave a little chuckle. She walked across the front of the barn, stretching her back as she moved. "You've seen the way I drive, right?"
John contemplated her response before answering, "Touché."
"I still have nightmares about it," Carl muttered.
John glanced over at where Carl sat around the corner of the barn; his back was against the tire of the truck. His chin rested against his chest but he lifted his head to blink at them. "I didn't mean to wake you," Riley apologized.
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Carl yawned and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. "It doesn't matter; an hour of sleep does a body good."
"You're having a bad feeling about tonight?" John pressed Riley.
She glanced around before focusing on him again. "I'm not sure it's a bad feeling, so much as I can't shake the feeling that something is out there."
"There's always something out there lately," Carl said.
He knew Carl's words were right but he remained focused on his haunting dream. He could still recall his mother's laugh as he glanced at the shadows bouncing over the barns surrounding them. He turned to look at the woods beyond the barns, but he didn't see any unearthly fires burning within the trees.
"No, this is something else, something different, and it's coming this way," Riley whispered.
The hair on the back of his neck stood up at Riley's cryptic words. He was becoming increasingly certain that something was beckoning to him from somewhere in the night. He just had to know where to look, or actually he had to start looking. His heart leapt into his throat at the idea, but once it took root in his mind it was impossible to shake. Putting his good hand on the ground, he pushed himself to his feet and brought his gun before him.
"What is it?" Carl asked.
John searched for a firefly in the dark, a lantern, something like what he'd seen in his dream but the night remained as dark as ever. "I just…" Just what? Had a dream with a voice and a bonfire? Carl would get the biggest kick out of that and he wasn't much in the mood for his sarcasm or laughter right now. Not when he was becoming increasingly certain there were answers to be found, if he ended up looking like an idiot so be it, but he had to look. "Thought I heard something."
Carl glanced around before shrugging and facing Riley again. "I hope whatever it is waits until the morning."
"I don't think that's going to happen," Riley said.
John would have thrown her a deck of tarot cards if he'd had one. If the world hadn't fallen apart she could have made a fortune off of people at county fairs. He could picture her waving her fingers over a crystal ball as she revealed someone's future. She really had a way of drawing things out and making them sound ominous.