And it knew they were here.
Riley inhaled deeply; she didn't even bother to grab for her gun. What would be the point? She didn't want to go quietly into the night but she also wasn't going to run away screaming or firing like a lunatic at something she'd never be able to avoid anyway. Apparently, the others felt the same way as none of them made a move.
Those eyes burned with arctic ice as they stared up at them. Riley stood and waited for it to ride off the track, come up the hill, and suck the life and color from them just like it had the horse. Instead, it simply sat and stared at them. Without a word, it turned the horse with ease and walked it back across the infield of the track and toward the chain link fence.
Riley half expected a wave of ice to come from its hands and rip the fence apart or maybe it would shoot a wave of ice back at them to kill them all. She wasn't expecting for a small tunnel of yellow light to materialize before Death reached the fence, wasn't prepared for Death to vanish into the night as if it had never been there in the first place.
The normal darkness of the night seemed absolute after the light Death had brought with it. Her eyes strained to see any details within the dark. The moon had provided far more illumination when they'd walked over here, but now she could barely detect any of its light. Blinking, she was finally able to bring the centerfield into focus as sounds began to drift into her ears once more.
The crickets began to chirrup again, in the distance she could hear some of the luckier horses moving about in the night. Finally tearing her gaze away from the fence, she looked down at the pile of animals beneath them. The air stirred, a breeze drifted over her flesh, but instead of chilling her further this breeze breathed life back into her body. Finally free of her strange paralysis, she looked down herself and was relieved to find that she hadn't actually pissed herself.
The blood began to pulse through her veins again, melting the ice that had encapsulated her. As she watched, the ashes of the horse that had crumpled were picked up in the breeze and spun around the track. She tried to follow their progress through the air but she lost them almost immediately in the dark.
Tears continued to burn her eyes as she looked back at where Death had vanished. They'd been in the presence of Death and they were still alive. They hadn't been judged by it, of that much she was certain. If they'd been judged, she knew she would have been found lacking. She'd killed a man today, and not only did she not feel bad about it, but she would do it again even if it meant Death would place its icy hand against her face next. That man had gotten what he deserved, but murder was a sin, where was what she deserved? She'd also killed Lee, she had killed others and yet she still stood here.
How was it possible they'd looked Death in the eye and yet remained?
"I dreamed of this," John murmured. "Weeks ago, before we ever met Donald, I had a dream about my father and me. The horsemen came to us in it. Tonight, I had a dream about a voice, it brought me here." Riley turned to look at him; he was as pale as Death had been. "The voice told me there was still beauty in the world; we just had to look for it. I had to… I had to come here after that dream. I had to look."
"We understand," Carl assured him though she knew that none of them did. Even with all the answers there were still countless questions, but there always had been in the world. Whenever one mystery was solved there was always another to figure out, or some new thing to conquer.
"But what did it mean? Is there beauty in Death, is that what it meant?" John demanded.
She wanted to tell him it was only a dream but she couldn't. She knew better than that. "Some people have feelings, some people have dreams," she whispered. "You're not crazy." John's shoulders slumped in relief. "And as strange and horrifying as seeing that was, it was also beautiful. In its own way."
Xander rested his hand on her shoulder; she grabbed hold of it, desperately needing the connection with him. "It was," he agreed.
John nodded but dread still swirled through his eyes as he turned toward the track. "Debra knew what was out there. Knew that they would come for us."
"They didn't come for us," Carl said.
"One of them did," John said.
"No, it didn't come for us; it came for a new ride."
"But why?" Riley's voice was hoarse; it felt as if she hadn't had anything to drink in weeks as she turned to look at them. "Why didn't it take us? Isn't that what Death is supposed to do? Isn't it supposed to judge us and take us?"
Carl's eyes were troubled when they met hers. "No. Death doesn't pick who it takes or when, that's for fate to decide."
"Well why hasn't fate decided on me then? The things I've done, Lee…" her voice trailed off, she couldn't finish the sentence.
"That's not the way it works," Carl murmured. "If that was the way it worked no child would die from cancer, only the good would survive, and there would be no evil in the world, but that's not the way of the world, it never has been. I don't even think God has a say over what happens, not once we're set free upon this world. Medicine, technology, writing, learning, nuclear bombs, GMO's, pollution, animal extinction, murder, and all the other things that we've created are because we had the free will to do so. There has been plenty of good and plenty of bad that He never foresaw us creating because of free will."
Riley stood and stared at him, uncertain if he was channeling the Dalai Lama or if the chain smoking landscaper had always been so perceptive. Either way, he made her turn away to look out at the field again as she contemplated his answer.
"Why now?" Xander asked. "Why would God chose to end the world now, because that is what we're dealing with, isn't it, the apocalypse?"
"Why not now?" Carl replied and lit a cigarette. "Let's be honest, we've all been taking a giant crap on this planet, and each other, for centuries. I know I was pretty sick and tired of turning on the news every morning. It was never good."
"What do we do now?" John asked. "Is there any point? Are they just going to keep coming until we're all dead?"
"I think they're done, or almost done anyway," Carl said. "The earth has been scourged, the plagues have been unleashed, food is scarce, we're fighting a war for survival every day, and people are dying at a rapid pace. They've accomplished what they were sent here to accomplish. At least that's what I'm going to believe because to believe anything else is to accept death and give up. I haven't made it this freaking far to give up now."
"Neither have I," Riley whispered.
"If we survive what is still out there we'll repopulate the earth, the human race will continue, and the next time this planet and its people need a smack down it will get one," Carl continued. "I think it's time to return to the truck. We're leaving as soon as the sun breaks."
"Yes," Riley said but she had a difficult time tearing her gaze away from the empty racetrack.
Finally, she turned away. Xander kept hold of her hand and John took a staggering step to the side. Carl grabbed hold of his arm to steady him. "You're burning up," Carl muttered.
Riley's heart plummeted when she spotted the sweat beading across John's brow. He managed a wan smile as he shrugged and rubbed at his neck. "I've always been hot," he quipped but there was no humor in the etched lines of his flushed face.
CHAPTER 28
Carl,
Carl rested his arm against the barn as he relieved himself. The cool concrete of the barn felt good against his skin; it was the only cool thing around right now. Finished with what he was doing, he zipped up his jeans. He surveyed the woods on his right, searching for anything out of the ordinary in the coming dawn.
He wasn't above admitting to himself that the real reason he lingered here was because he was in no rush to go back to the others. Because he needed just a few minutes to try and sort through what they'd seen last night, to try and accept the fact that John was kicking out more heat than his cherished kerosene heater right now.
One of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, Death itself, had stood before them. Carl shuddered as he recal
led the look on Death's face, the blank expression that had shown no flicker of emotion about what it was doing. He could easily recall those wintry eyes burning into his soul. They hadn't been judged and approved by Death, nor had they been judged and found wanting, Death didn't judge. Death was simply a given from the moment life was created.
They had stood less than a hundred feet away from the one thing all humans feared at one point in time in their lives.
He didn't know how to feel about what had just been revealed. Religion had never been a big thing in his life; he didn't feel any more affinity to God than he had an hour ago. He believed he should though. He'd just been handed proof that everything that had occurred was because the apocalypse was unraveling around them, or had unraveled.
It appeared as if the worst of the apocalypse had ended as the sky was clear again, the sick seemed to be dying, and he hadn't felt a quake in weeks. God had leveled the world in order to allow them to rebuild it? It didn't make any sense to him. Granted humankind hadn't been doing a bang up job of taking care of the planet and each other, but destroying a good chunk of the world and the human population to make a point seemed a bit over dramatic to him.
God was a woman, he decided as he turned away from the woods.
He didn't worry the remaining population would be killed off. God had intended for there to be some survivors or they all would have been struck dead at the beginning, of that much he was certain. God had the ability to do so.
The last thing he wanted to do was die, even if there was a God there to greet him afterward. He much preferred this planet, as uncertain as it was, to some temperamental creature in the sky or earth? Even after what had happened he had no idea where God resided, perhaps it was on a completely different plane of existence altogether.
Even with Death itself walking out of the maintenance shed, he hadn't been overly frightened. The creature had been unnerving with its paranormal quality and what it represented but it hadn't been any more terrifying than earthquakes, bridge collapses, lava, ravenous humans, or standing on the receiving end of a rifle.
He'd been staring death in the face for a couple of months now, to actually look it in the face had been no different than any other day. Except this Death had given them answers as to what had uprooted their lives and destroyed their friends and families. The answers did nothing for him. All that remained was the same as what had always been, survival.
Gathering his courage to do what he'd been scared to face, more so than Death, he stepped away from the corner of the building and looked toward where the others were gathered. His gaze instantly found John in the darkness. His friend's back was propped against the side of the barn, his hands were in his lap and his head was bent forward so that his chin rested on his chest.
Death hadn't frightened him. Standing helplessly by and watching his best friend getting sicker terrified him.
They could do nothing about what they'd witnessed tonight. They could do something for John if they were able to leave this place soon. He just hoped it wasn't too late for him already.
John lifted his head as he approached. His eyes were bloodshot; his lips compressed into a flat line, there were lines around his mouth and eyes that hadn't been there just an hour ago. Sweat beaded across his forehead and plastered his dark hair to his skull. He was whiter than a Canadian in the middle of January.
"Don't look at me like that," John grumbled and bowed his head again.
"I'm not looking at you like anything," Carl told him.
"You're looking at me like you already have me buried. I ain't dead yet."
"I'm definitely not looking at you like that. I would have to be the one to dig your grave and believe me I've done enough digging over the past couple of weeks."
"I'm sure Josh would love to hear that," John said and waved his hand toward the truck.
Carl winced, with everything that had happened tonight he'd forgotten about the young boy's body in the back of the truck. Not knowing what to say, he turned away from his friend and pretended to busy himself looking for something in the truck. He pulled out a bottle of water and walked over to John with it but he waved it away. "Drink some," Carl insisted.
"I'm not thirsty."
"I don't want to hear about wasting supplies on you again, drink the water."
"I'm really not thirsty; I'd tell you if I was."
Carl placed the bottle of water down beside him before moving over to stand by the front of the barn. He stared across the dark track. He could hear the chuffing and hooves of the surviving horses in the night but he didn't see any of them moving amongst the barns.
He had no idea how much time passed but no one spoke and no one moved. He could feel them all awake behind him, even John. "That really did just happen, right?" John asked after awhile. "It wasn't another dream?"
"Yes that really happened," Carl confirmed.
"Would you like some more aspirin?" Riley knelt at John's side and held her hand out to him.
"I would."
Relief filled Carl when John took the aspirin from her and drank them down with some water. At least he hadn't given up completely. It wouldn't matter what time they got out of here, if John wasn't willing to fight than it would be for nothing. He turned his attention back to the night as Xander came to stand beside him.
"That was crazy," Xander said.
"It was," Carl confirmed.
"Are we going to talk about it?" Riley inquired. "Do we just pretend it didn't happen? Do we try and figure it out on our own?"
"What is there to figure out?" Xander inquired. "God got pissed, threw a temper tantrum, or just flat out simply had enough and let us all know about it."
"I've already decided that God is a woman," Carl informed him.
Riley shot him a look but Xander laughed loudly and even John gave a little chuckle. "I'd decided that earlier," John murmured.
"Men," Riley muttered and rolled her eyes. "Should we be religious now or something?"
Carl snorted and pulled his butts from his pocket. He shook a cigarette free and lit it. "I don't know what we're supposed to be now but I'm not going to any church services or praying. I didn't in the past so I'm not about to start now." Riley eyed him as if she was half-afraid the earth was going to open beneath his feet and swallow him whole. "It's gotten me this far."
Riley released a snort of laughter. "Good point."
"Aren't there supposed to be dragons or demons or something pouring forth from the bowels of Hell?" John asked.
"Not everything that is written or rumored is true." Xander's gaze traveled to the sky. "No one could have known what was coming."
"No, they couldn't," Carl agreed.
"What if this is Hell and all the people that have died were the ones that were accepted into Heaven?" John inquired.
"No," Carl told him briskly. "There have been too many children and God fearing folk that started trying to eat us or have just sat in their own filth for that to be true. What sins could Victor, Freddie and Rochelle possibly have committed in their short lives? Besides, I don't think this is Hell."
They were silent for awhile as they pondered his words. "How could you not think this is Hell?" John asked.
"Because I'm still alive and I still have all of you."
He hadn't known what to expect but it certainly wasn't Riley, who didn't hesitate to unload bullets into people anymore, to start crying. He also didn't expect her to fling her arms around his waist and hug him. Carl stood with his hands out by his sides and the cigarette dangling from his mouth as he stared down at her dark head. He could feel the wet press of her tears against his shirt. Before she went to pull away, he wrapped his arms around her and awkwardly patted her on the back.
She wiped the tears away from her eyes and gave him a thousand watt smile as she stepped away from him. "That you do." Her gaze drifted to John before coming back to him. "And it is going to stay that way."
Riley turned away from him, slid her arms around Xander's wai
st and held him close. Xander didn't look anywhere near as awkward as he held her against his chest and rocked on his heels with her in his embrace. "Well at least we know for certain that there's an afterlife," Xander said.
"Yeah, that's good to know," John muttered and took another swig of water.
"Apparently the Supreme Being is a little touchy. I'm not sure we'd get along," Carl said and stepped on his cigarette.
"I'm sure it would love your sparkling personality," John muttered.
"I really think it wouldn't like you, especially if it is a woman," Carl retorted.
"Gee thanks." John unscrewed the top of the water bottle. "Well I'd like to not meet God anytime soon, but I'd also like to not eat one of you within the next forty-eight hours too. Here's to hoping," he said and poured the water over his head.
"We would appreciate it if you didn't," Riley told him.
John lifted his head and gave them a wan smile before dropping it down again. Carl turned away to look over the track and was relieved to see a lightening in the sky on the far horizon. "Morning's coming," he murmured.
"I can't wait to get out of here," Riley said.
"Help me up," John said.
"Why don't you just stay sitting until we're ready to go," Carl suggested.
"Help me up," he said more forcefully.
Carl walked over to take hold of the good hand he extended. The heat of his skin was disconcerting, but his eyes were still clear when they met Carl's. "I'm going to get that bite cleaned up again before we leave," Carl told him.
"That's fine. Can you get me a flashlight first? I'll be right back."
Carl nodded and walked over to the truck to grab the flashlight; he handed it to John and went to grab his arm when he wobbled for a second. "I'm fine," John told him and slapped his hand away. "You're acting like a stage five clinger."
Carl scowled at him and shook his head but he stepped back to watch as John used the wall of the barn to help him inside the building. "Let me know if you need help," he called after him.