The sick feeling in my stomach intensified with every menacing thought crossing my mind. I ran faster, only stopping to check rooms. The silence was deafening all around me. I never realized how quiet our house was at night, or how every little shadow simply heightened the darkness, lurking in every corner I ran passed. The only sounds that could be heard were resonating off of my body. My adrenaline hammered so fucking hard while every room I looked in turned up empty.
“Amari! Sophia!” I screamed, knowing it was useless. The walls in our house were all soundproof.
I stopped in the living room, hunched over with my hands on my knees, hyperventilating to the point of pain. After checking every last inch of the house, no one was to be found.
No bodyguards.
No Sophia.
No Amari.
Just me.
“What the fuck?” I breathed out, peering around the room in confusion like they were going to suddenly appear out of thin air.
I felt my face pale. All the blood drained from my body, causing shivers to course through me. I shuddered, suddenly cold. The hairs on my arms stood on edge when I realized the only room I hadn’t checked was my father’s office. We were ordered to never go in there unless he requested our presence. Before I gave it anymore thought, I ran toward the other end of the house. Frantically trying to ignore the nervous and fearful feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach and focus on the task at hand.
My heart pounded so profusely I found it fucking hard to breathe. My mind raced and my chest heaved with each passing moment, escalating with every step bringing me closer to his office. Panic began to set in, and I could no longer control my thoughts from running wild. I anxiously tried to find my resolve.
I was a Martinez.
Not a fucking pussy.
But I was still a kid who was terrified he’d let something happen to his sister and Sophia. There would be no coming back from this. I knew that before I even made it into his office. Everything played out in slow motion like it was a dream. I ran to the door, reached for the handle, turned the knob, and shoved it open. It made a loud thud as it bounced off the back wall. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the brutal scene playing out in front of me.
My night quickly turned into my worst fucking nightmare.
Two pairs of dark, soulless eyes turned toward my direction as I took in the image that would forever haunt me. In the dim light I could see Sophia thrashing around on the hardwood floor in the middle of the room. Her delicate, small frame held hostage against her will by the two men who were supposed to be protecting us. One bodyguard was pinning her hands to the floor and covering her mouth to muffle her screams. The other hovered above her, straddling her thighs with his slacks hanging down his legs.
Bile immediately rose up my throat, as I was about to witness her innocence being crudely ripped away from her. Her eyes were locked shut as if she was trying to pretend she was somewhere else. Her beautiful face was bright red and swollen with bruises already forming. Tears streamed down her beaten cheeks as she fought to break free. Her shirt was ripped open¸ revealing her blood-stained, white, lacy bra. One strap torn and hanging down her arm. Her panties and shorts were scrunched down by her ankles, restraining her from making any movement with her legs.
It took me a matter of seconds to look over every last inch of her broken body. It was like I wanted to engrain it into my memory. The bodyguard’s eyes stayed focused on me in those moments, and my eyes remained locked on her. Desperately hoping this was all just a bad dream, willing myself to wake the fuck up. Except I knew in my heart it wasn’t, and I allowed this to happen.
The bodyguard’s hand moved off Sophia’s mouth, allowing a devastating scream to escape. I felt the sound pierce deep down within my bones, resonating and making itself home.
“Help me! Someone please help me!” she screeched loud enough to break glass. “Amari! Please help me!”
“Shut the fuck up!” the bodyguard who held back her wrists snapped. “You’re asking her to help you?! Stupid, whore! You don’t see her? She’s so weak and scared, she can’t even help herself. Shit, we don’t even have to tie her up. I’ll let you in on a little secret, she’s who we are after, but she’s no fun. You, on the other hand, are so feisty. A much better toy to break. But don’t worry, her turn is coming soon. After we take care of your pussy ass brother.”
I gasped, jerking back. I swear my heart stopped beating when I remembered I still hadn’t found my sister. My gaze tore through the room, frantically searching for her in the dark corners of this Hell. It didn’t take long for me to find her. She was sitting in the furthest corner of the room with her arms wrapped around her legs, locking them tight against her chest. She looked so tiny and scared, like she was trying to mold herself into the wall and the floor. She shook profusely, but her petrified stare never wavered from Sophia. Blood-stained tears streamed down her bruised face. My eyes quickly scanned over her body, immediately noticing her clothes were still intact. For a second, it gave me a false sense of security they hadn’t touched her… yet.
She hadn’t even realized I was in the room, which made me think she was in shock. Seeing her in this state gave me the courage I needed to keep going. My stare went back to the men who were frozen in place, both of them trying to figure out what was my next move. I couldn’t read the neutral expressions on the bastard’s faces. It was as if they didn’t have a soul, a conscience, or one fucking ounce of remorse or compassion for what they were doing.
It was the first time in my life I ever witnessed evil in true form. Sophia and Amari’s innocence weren’t the only things taken that night.
I was no longer a boy.
A kid.
A child.
Rage quickly replaced every feeling, every emotion, and every last thought that crossed my mind was gone in a flash, as if they never existed to begin with.
And all I saw was vengeance.
“Get the fuck off of her,” I gritted out through a clenched jaw. My fists tightened to the point of pain by my sides.
Sophia’s eyes shot open when she heard my voice resonate through the room, lifting her head off the floor to see me. She started crying harder as she dropped her head back, unable to hold it up for very long.
“What the fuck are you going to do, boy?” the bodyguard hovering over Sophia spewed out, rising to the balls of his feet, tucking his dick back into his pants. I resisted the urge to look at Sophia, disgusted by what I would see between her legs.
“Marco, let her go,” he ordered the guy who was holding Sophia’s wrists.
Marco complied, releasing his grasp. Sophia scrambled to her hands and knees, crawling as fast as she could over to Amari, who still hadn’t moved or made a sound. I released a breath of relief, knowing Sophia was safe for now.
“You made a big mistake walking in here tonight. The fun was just getting fucking started, boy. Wasn’t it, John?” Marco mocked, standing alongside the other motherfucker.
I stood taller, not backing down. I was five-foot-nine, one hundred and sixty pounds. I was built like my father and bigger than most guys my age, which gave me an advantage.
“Why don’t you just run along, boy,” John scoffed out. “Or wait, better yet. Marco grab him, I think we should show this little prick how a real man fucks.”
I didn’t falter, spitting out, “A real man wouldn’t have to rape a girl. But judging by the size of your cock, I can see why women your age won’t voluntarily fuck you.”
“You little shit,” John spewed, walking over to the girls.
I was over to him in four strides, dodging Marco’s hands that were trying to get a hold of me. Getting right up in John’s face, I snarled, “You touch them one more fucking time, and I’ll—”
“What? You’ll what? What are you going to do, boy? Your daddy ain’t around to save any of your sorry asses. He already called, saying they weren’t coming home tonight. Now back the fuck up so I can have a taste of your sister’s sweet little
pussy.”
My fist connected with his jaw before he got the last word out. His head whooshed back, knocking him off balance from my unexpected blow to his face. He stumbled back, holding his chin, before he glared up at me, spitting blood on the floor. Sizing me up for the first time. I had been in kickboxing since I learned how to walk. No one fucked with a Martinez, my father made sure of it.
“You’re going to pay for that, you little fucker,” he warned, charging toward me but stopped when a shot was fired hitting him right in the leg.
The sound of Amari and Sophia screaming and wailing at the top of their lungs brought my attention to them, cowering in the corner, before I could figure out where the shot came from. They bawled harder and hugged each other tighter, tucking their faces into each other’s chests.
John collapsed onto the ground, holding the open wound on his leg that gushed blood onto the floor.
“Motherfucker!” he groaned out in agony.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Marco lifting his hands in the air in a surrendering gesture, backing up slowly. A look of pure fear quickly followed. I turned around, following the direction of his petrified gaze.
“What the fuck?” I breathed out, locking eyes with my father who appeared out of thin air.
I didn’t even hear him. He was standing by his office door, still dressed in his tux, with a gun in each hand. One was pointed at Marco, the other at John.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he whispered, shaking his head in disappointment. “You haven’t been paying attention, boys. What am I paying you so much fucking money for? You two fuck-ups didn’t even hear me coming. Oh, yo lo sé,” he said, “Oh, I know.”
He peered over at the girls with no emotion whatsoever. They both sat there beaten and broken, and he didn’t even ask if they were okay. You would think one of them being his own flesh and blood, he would have consoled his child, showed some kind of emotion, but not my father. He stood there like a cold-hearted bastard, as if he didn’t give a fuck who they were. He could see what I walked in on. It was staring him blatantly in the face, but he remained calm and collected. Unfazed, like he saw this sort of scene play out in front of him all the time. That’s when it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. This wasn’t my dad, this was the crime boss that everybody feared. I had never truly witnessed my father’s true nature until this very moment.
I wouldn’t learn until later in life you never allowed your enemies to see your weaknesses. You could be burning inside, but had to remain cold and heartless on the outside. Even if your whole life was laid out in front of you, dying.
“Do you like little girls, asshole? Hmm… A usted le gustan las peladitas, cabron?” my father asked, repeating himself and bringing me back to the present. “I asked you a question. Twice, motherfucker. There won’t be a third.”
Marco lowered his arms. “Sir, we—”
“If you move your hands again, I'll slap the taste out of your fucking mouth. Now do as I say or I'll let the homeboys in the Bronx run a train on your culo. You know what? On second thought, I still might.” He let out a throaty laugh that echoed off the office walls.
“Suck my dick, Martinez,” John spewed from the floor, spitting blood in my father’s direction. “Javier, he sends his regards.”
My dad slowly cocked his head to the side with a grin like the name meant something to him.
Was this retaliation for something?
He casually walked over to him. Only stopping when he was a foot away from John’s face.
“You like to rape little girls? Raping young girl pussy? Is that your thing? You dirty motherfucker,” he didn’t falter, kicking him square in the throat. John recoiled, immediately gasping for air, thrashing around not knowing whether to hold his throat or his leg.
Amari and Sophia both let out a scream, taken aback by my father’s actions. I stepped forward to go to them, and he pointed his gun in my direction, stopping me dead in my tracks.
“Now is not the time, hijo,” he reprimanded, calling me son before turning the gun back on John. “So where were we? Oh yes, you said you wanted me to suck your dick. That’s what you said right? For me to suck your cock?”
John whimpered, “No.”
My father crouched down to his level, pointing the barrel of both guns to his face.
“What? You didn’t say that? You said you wanted me to suck your dick. That’s what you said. Are you calling me a liar? I’m a liar? I believe your exact words were, ‘Suck my dick, Martinez.’ Alejandro, did this piece of shit tell me to suck his dick?”
I stood there nodding my head, unable to find my voice.
“What did he say, hijo?!” yelling at me to answer him.
“He said, ‘Suck my dick, Martinez.’”
“That’s what I thought.” He moved the guns to his cock. “Pull your pants down, John. I’ll be nice. Nicer than you were to my daughter and her friend. I promise I won’t shoot off your dick. I’ll just leave you with one fucking ball. I’ll even let you choose. Make a fucking decision. You tell me, right or left?”
“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry,” John groaned.
“You know saying sorry is a sign of weakness? Where’s the man who wanted to take my daughter and her friend’s virtue? Huh? Where did that John go? The one who told me to suck his dick, he’s gone? Eh coño?”
Out of nowhere I saw my dad’s arm swing straight up behind him, his face not wavering from John’s. I blinked, following the direction he was aiming, right as another shot was fired, hitting Marco directly in the fucking forehead. Blowing his brains out the back of his head, causing it to splatter on the floor and the walls.
Time just seemed to stand still, nothing moving, including me. Sour bile burned in the back of my throat, threatening to surface. Blood and death lingered in the air, a scent which would forever haunt me. I had never witnessed someone get murdered. I would remember that image for the rest of my life.
There was no going back, it was now a part of me, burned into my senses, whether I wanted it to be or not.
His dead body fell to the floor with a thud. My father didn’t even bother to turn to see what he had just done. He shot a man point blank in the head, executing him without hesitation, without warning, and without any remorse or shame. I envied him at that moment. Seeing him exercise all his power, made me crave it, too, but a part of me was scared and not ready. So many conflicting emotions emerged in a matter of seconds. I still didn’t understand my role as a Martinez.
The life I was supposed to lead one day.
The girls’ screams echoed off the walls, vibrating through every last fiber of my being. I wanted to move. I wanted to grab my sister and Sophia and run. I wanted to hide, but my feet were glued to the goddamn floor beneath me.
“Man up, son. Man the fuck up,” Dad roared while handing me the gun. “One down, one more to go, Alejandro.”
I looked from him to the gun in my shaking hands. It was right then and there I knew my life was about to change forever.
“You look me in the eyes when I’m talking to you.”
My body began to tremble as I looked into my father’s vacant green eyes, trying like hell to control the fear coursing through me.
“This is what we do, hijo. We protect what’s ours by any means necessary. No. Matter. What. Family comes first.”
I looked back at Amari and Sophia, who were still cowered together like two little girls in the corner. Both of them stared intently at me, waiting. I had never witnessed fear like it before, and I didn’t know if it was directed at me or at what they had gone through tonight.
My lips began to tremble as I held back the emotions trying to surface. I wanted the bastard to pay for what he had done to my girls. I wanted him to suffer as they had. I didn’t know if that made me the hero or the villain in this story, but in the end, it didn’t matter. I knew what I wanted to do. I felt it in my core what I had to do, not for my father, and not for the girls…
For me.
??
?Eye for an eye, Alejandro. Justice is always made on the fucking street.”
John and I locked eyes. For the first time since this nightmare, a sense of calm settled over me. Replacing any doubt or trepidation. The voices of my conscience were silenced. All I could hear was the sound of John’s breathing in the distance.
I’ve always known my fate, but this was the first time I actually wanted to embrace it.
The look in his eyes showed me everything I needed to see.
I raised my gun with a steady hand, causing his eyes to widen, pointing it directly to his forehead.
“You’ll burn in Hell for this, boy,” John spewed, spitting blood again.
I grinned. “Well then, save me a fucking a seat.”
I didn’t think twice about it, cocking the gun and pulling the trigger.
Silence.
The girls didn’t scream. They didn’t make a sound. They just looked at me like they knew John was right. I didn’t move. I didn’t dare to even breathe. Trying like hell to hold it together. It wasn’t until Amari shut her eyes, shaking her head as though it killed her to look at me. I dropped to my knees, slouching over, still holding on to the gun. The realization of what I just did was like a cold bucket of ice being poured over my burning hot body. My father didn’t falter, roughly grabbing my chin, making me look him dead in his eyes.
I’ll never forget the words that came out of his mouth next.
“You’re a Martinez now.”
And I was.
The next few weeks seemed to drag on, prolonging the nightmares plaguing my mind since I killed someone. It was my fifteenth birthday, and my mom had all of our family and friends over to celebrate. Every birthday my sister and I had turned into a huge, extravagant party, more for our parents than us. We never discussed what happened the night in my father’s office. We were forced to move on. The incident, buried along with the bodies, six feet under. In those last few weeks everything changed in my life.
Starting with how my sister looked at me, so callous and cold. Every night I waited for her to come to my room and seek my protection like she always did. But she never came. I don’t know if she fucking hated me because I left her that night or because I killed someone while she watched. Either way, there was no turning back.