When in reality it was Hell on Earth.
Once I finally got Sophia back from my mom, I took her out on the dance floor. Holding her tight, humming the soft melody in her ear.
“I can’t believe you made me think that I lost my ring.” She peered down at the three-karat diamond that I had added to her infinity ring. Setting the stone right in the center of the symbol.
I surprised her with it that morning, and she spent the rest of the day thanking me for it.
“I’m still shocked your dad reacted so calmly to our engagement. Maybe he isn’t so bad, Alejandro,” she admitted out of nowhere.
As soon as those words left her mouth, I stopped dancing. “Look at me,” I ordered in a harsh tone. “He’s the Devil, Sophia. He’s the goddamn Devil. I never want you thinking he’s anything but.”
She lowered her eyebrows. “And you? What does that make you?”
“Next in line,” I replied without hesitation, starting to move with her again.
She grimaced, following my lead. “Are you going to change when you take over? Am I not going to know who you are anymore?” she finally asked what had been plaguing her since the day she made my mom that promise.
I would be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed a change in her after that day.
More questions in her eyes.
More worry in her tone.
More uncertainty in her actions.
More. More. More.
I grazed her cheek with the back of my fingers, getting her to relax. Promising myself right then and there I would never lie to her.
“You look beautiful, cariño.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“You shouldn’t ask questions you really don’t want the answers to.”
She jerked back, hurt, taking a step away from me.
“I am who I am, Sophia.”
She didn’t falter, blurting, “Have you killed anyone else, Alejandro? I mean since that night. Is there anymore blood on your hands?”
“What I do is none of your concern.”
“So that’s a yes,” she huffed, shaking her head in disbelief.
“It’s not a no.”
She backed further away from me, my statement causing her to shudder. For the first time, she looked at me as if she didn’t know me. A glare of disgust spread over her face. It killed me not to lie her. I hated that I couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. It would have been easy to pull her into my arms and relieve her worry.
I wasn’t made like that.
I may have been a lot of things.
But a liar wasn’t one of them.
She turned her back on me, wrapping her arms around herself in a comforting gesture. Needing to get away from the truth that was blatantly staring her in the face.
Me.
I allowed her the space she needed, even though I fucking hated it. I ran my hands through my hair in a frustrated gesture, locking eyes with my father across the room. He was smoking a cigar with his associates standing around him. Lifting his glass of whiskey out in front of him in a congratulations gesture.
I grabbed a glass off the table in front of me, nodding, returning the sentiment. I swiftly downed the contents before turning to leave. Desperately needing to get some air and space of my own. Feeling as though the room was closing in on me. I needed to clear my head from the fear that I felt in my heart and the thoughts that cluttered my mind.
My present and my future colliding.
I grabbed a bottle of bourbon from the bar and left. Taking a swig as soon as I walked outside the back entrance of the banquet hall. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to drown my sorrows. I wanted to get lost in my own thoughts.
My own compulsions.
My own Hell.
The fiery liquid burned as I took another swig, welcoming the pain that resonated in my chest. I wanted to pretend like the last ten minutes didn’t fucking happen. Like my whole world hadn’t crashed down around me with a look I never wanted to experience again. I knew it was only a matter of time before Sophia would want answers I couldn’t provide.
Soon, her whole life would be changing, and not for the better. I made that decision. No one else but me. Michael’s words haunted me with each step on the gravel that took me away from my own party. Not giving a fuck where I was going, just walking aimlessly. Trying, hoping, praying that I was doing the right thing.
That loving her wouldn’t be her destruction.
Never realizing that it might be mine.
I turned back around searching the wooded area that surrounded me, suddenly feeling the loss of her light she always brought into my life. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw shadows in the distance. It took me a second to realize it was my mom. She was standing in front of her bodyguard Roberto in a gazebo. I stepped closer to get a better view, and it was then I noticed she looked pissed.
Nothing like the vibrant, radiant woman she had been all night.
Gone was the smile and happy demeanor.
She threw her hands up in the air, furiously shaking her head. Pointing toward the hall, she exaggerated her words.
Saying something I couldn’t make out. The expression on her face had my mind racing. Roberto said something with a look of remorse, causing her to tense and turn her back to him. She stared off into the distance with her arms crossed over her chest.
I was about to make my way toward them when I heard Sophia calling my name. I turned around as she was walking up to me.
“Hey…” she breathed out. “I’ve been looking all over for you. I thought you had left me here.”
“Never.”
She smiled. “I’m sorry, Alejandro. I didn’t… I mean I wasn’t trying… it’s just…” she paused, sighing. Trying to gather her thoughts when mine were still on my mother.
“I guess I’m just learning my role in all this. In your life," she spoke, bringing my attention back to her.
“You’ll be my wife. The most important person in my life. Nothing will ever change that.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“You’re making it harder. Baby, we are different. What we have is different.” I stepped toward her, taking her face in my hands.
“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to change. I love you. For the man you are now. Do you understand?” Tears threatened in her eyes.
“I don’t have a choice, Sophia. Do you understand?” I countered, letting her go.
She nodded, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. I leaned forward taking her into my arms.
“Yes. I don’t want to fight. You do enough of that for the both of us,” she chuckled, trying to break the tension between us. Our fight was over.
For now.
“Te amo,” I murmured against her ear, “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Come on. Let’s go back to our party.” She pulled away, grabbing my hand.
When I looked over my shoulder toward the gazebo, they were gone.
I spent the next week thinking about what I witnessed. Watching my mom walk around, going on with her daily life like nothing was wrong. Even though I knew otherwise. On several occasions, I walked in on her and my father whispering to each other, having intense conversations. They never fought. Something wasn't right, and they sure as hell weren’t telling Amari and me.
One afternoon Sophia, my mom, and Amari decided they were going to start looking around for wedding locations. I took the opportunity to talk to my father. Determined to get some answers to what the fuck was going on with my mom.
“Come in,” Dad announced after I knocked on his office door.
“Do you have a few minutes?” I asked, peeking my head inside.
He gestured with his hand for me to enter and for his bodyguard to step out. I closed the door behind him wanting some privacy. Taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk, where he was sitting with piles of paperwork in front of him.
“Everything go okay with the Italians?” he questi
oned, looking over the documents not paying me any mind.
“I handled it,” I simply stated, leaning back in the chair, eyeing him.
“Good. Then what’s this about?”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
He peered up from his paperwork, placing the stack back onto his desk. “Care to elaborate?”
“I saw Mom upset at the engagement party. What the hell is going on?”
He scoffed, “Your mother gets overwhelmed about everything. You’re getting married, Alejandro. It was a hard day for her. Her little boy is becoming a man. Accomplishing another major milestone. She knows you’re leaving soon. Amari will probably be next with how things seem to be going with her and Michael.”
“I’m not blind. I know what I saw. Has something happened? Is Mom in danger?”
“She’s always in danger. It’s part of being a Martinez.”
“No shit. I’ve seen you guys whispering. You’re hiding something. Is she sick? If she’s sick, you need to tell me. There—”
“I don’t need to do anything, Alejandro.”
I narrowed my eyes at him with a sincere expression. “I’m here out of concern for my mother.”
He took a deep breath, contemplating what he was going to say. “I have it taken care of. Javier is… I’m handling it.”
“It’s been almost four years. Four fucking years, and that motherfucker is still walking. He should have been taken care of already. What the fuck is the hold up?”
“Are you questioning my authority?” he spewed, eyeing me up and down.
“When it comes to my mother’s safety, I would question Jesus Christ’s authority.”
He slammed his fists on the desk, gritting out, “I would never let anything happen to your mother. My wife. Do you hear me? Don’t ever disrespect me by insinuating that I would.”
I immediately stood, leaning forward. Placing my hands on the desk, I looked him dead in the eyes and spoke with conviction, “If you don’t put a fucking bullet in his head, I will.”
And I meant every last word.
“Are you ready?” Amari asked, as she took a seat next to Sophia, who had a spread of bridal magazines laid out on the kitchen island. She had immersed herself in gowns, centerpieces, and decor for the past hour. Color coding and organizing what she liked and didn’t.
“Why am I going to this again?” I asked, annoyed. They were dragging me along with them to do wedding shit. “Women are supposed to be the ones that handle all this. I did my job. I proposed and put the ring on her finger.”
“That was a very sexist response, brother,” she replied, flipping pages. Pointing out what she liked.
“Call it what you want. I’m the odd man out. Last time I checked, I had a dick, Amari.”
Sophia laughed, and my sister rolled her eyes.
“Alejandro, you’re a picky eater. You need to come try the food for the reception. Then we have the cake tasting at two o'clock. After that, you can go back to not caring about our wedding,” Sophia added still not looking up from her damn bridal magazine.
“Baby, it's not like I don't care about the wedding. I just care about the wedding night and the honeymoon more. I offered to help you pick out your lingerie. That has to count for something, right?”
“You care about the sex,” Amari chimed in.
“So romantic," Sophia added, shutting her magazine and grabbing her purse to leave.
“I’m a man," I shrugged, grabbing Sophia by the waist and pulling her into my side.
“You’re a pig. Michael would never—”
“Michael’s a fucking pussy.”
Sophia smacked me on the chest and Amari rolled her eyes again, standing up. “On that note. Let’s go. Mamá is going to meet us downtown after her doctor’s appointment. If we’re late, it’s your balls on the line because you know I’m going to blame it on you.”
The limo that my dad insisted I needed to start using was waiting for us outside, along with five bodyguards.
“Are they always going to be with us?” Sophia whispered at my side. Even after all these years, the men protecting us still scared the shit out of her. Permanently scarred from that night.
Amari peered over her shoulder, blurting, “Get used to it. Knowing Alejandro, you’ll have more than necessary.”
I glared at her and she smiled, getting into the limo first. By the time we made it downtown, we were running late for our appointment.
“Relax, Mamá isn’t even here yet. Her car isn’t in the parking lot,” I announced, stepping out of the limo.
They both looked around the lot. “How did you know that? We just got here,” Sophia stated, glancing back at me.
“I’m always aware of my surroundings, baby. Let’s go.” I nodded toward the guards to do their checks and led the way toward the garage elevator.
Amari stopped as the doors opened. “Maybe we should wait for her. She gets lost everywhere, Alejandro. You know she has no sense of direction,” she reminded. “I bet that’s why she’s late. She probably gave Roberto the wrong address.”
She was notorious for getting turned around, especially when she was out on her own.
“I don’t want to miss this appointment,” Sophia whined, pulling on my hand to go. “We’re already so late. We had to schedule this weeks ago and—”
“Cariño, you know I hate it when you fucking whine like that.” I pulled her toward me, wrapping my arms around her waist.
Elegant Edge catered to the rich and famous. The building had a private entrance and parking located in the back alley. Privacy was a must when it came to celebrity and high-end weddings. My mom always wanted the best for her children, no matter what the cost.
“Relax. We won’t miss the appointment, I’ll make sure of it. But Amari is right. We should probably wait for her.”
She smiled, looking up at me adoringly. “Oh yeah? You think your green eyes and devilish grin work on every woman, huh?”
“I know it does.” I grinned just to prove my point. Whispering in her ear, “The best two out of my three attributes.”
“What’s the third?”
“My cock,” I responded, rubbing my dick against her just to prove my point again.
“Alejandro.” She blushed, slapping my chest. Trying to push me away.
I held her tighter, chuckling, “I love you.”
“Alright, you two love birds,” Amari interrupted, bringing our attention to her. “There’s Mamá’s car.” She gestured behind us.
We all turned to see Roberto driving up the back alley with Mamá in the back seat, waving and pointing in our direction as we came into view. I could see her smile. We all could. In her excitement, she was about to forgo protocol, opening the door without her guard next to her.
I would remember the next turn of events for the rest of my life.
My father once told me that Martinez men didn’t hold onto memories in our minds. They were burned deep within our souls where they laid dormant. I never understood what he meant by that until now. Except this was one of those scenes that no matter how hard I tried, how much I sacrificed, how long I prayed, I would never be able to forget. It would eternally haunt me. My mind would be forever branded. My heart forever broken. My future immorally damned.
The moment where a part of me died.
A black SUV with pitch-black tinted windows came up from behind my mom’s car in the alleyway, heading toward us. Out of nowhere a matching SUV skidded out from the side street to the left. Pulling up in front of Roberto, causing him to slam on the brakes. Blocking the way to the garage, but not our view. The windows of the SUV in front of them rolled down, exposing two rifles. Roberto sprang into action, throwing his body over my mother.
The rest played out in slow motion. A nightmare that would eternally haunt me. I'll never forget the look on my mom's face as gunshots rang out. Her worry-free smile quickly turned into a look of pure horror. As if she knew it was the moment she was going to die.
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Her time had come.
An inevitable day she had been expecting all her life. Knowing all along the consequence of loving a Martinez man.
“NO!” I shouted with everything in me as the sound of shots ricocheted off metal and glass, ringing as screams echoed in the alley.
Bullets flying everywhere, decorating the car with holes.
Two bodyguards tackled Amari to the ground, guarding her. While I simultaneously picked Sophia up into my arms, throwing her onto the rough pavement behind a parked car. Tucking her head against my chest, as my hands skinned against the asphalt, breaking our fall. Shielding her body with mine. Seconds later we felt the weight of my bodyguards on top of us. The air filled with rapid fire rumbling from afar, with Sophia and Amari screaming and crying all at once. She shook so fucking bad in my arms, her body convulsing with fear.
“Take her!” I ordered, shoving the men off me. “You guard her with your fucking life! Do you understand me!? With your fucking life!”
They nodded as Sophia forcefully shook her head. “No! No! Don’t go! Please! Don’t go! Don’t leave me!” she bawled, clutching onto me like her life depended on it.
“Grab her, now! Get them out of here!” I ordered, ripping her off of me.
They roughly tore her out of my arms, kicking and screaming, giving the men one hell of a fight. Her face was a blank canvas, but her eyes portrayed her pain.
I affirmed, “Te amo! Vamos!” As the guards rushed the girls into the elevator to take cover. Hearing Sophia’s pleas not to go as the doors closed.
Standing without a second thought, I nodded toward the three guards who stayed behind with me. Instantly yanking my guns from the holsters inside my suit jacket. We sprinted down the parking lot, hauling ass toward the vehicles. Immediately opening fire, lacing the SUV’s. Bullets recoiled off the steel, breaking through the tinted glass.
Four men opened fire back at us, hitting one of my men several times in the chest. Knocking him to the ground, instantly dead. The other two tried to cover me as best as they could, but an endless stream of bullets kept coming at us from all directions. I felt a burning sting graze my shoulder and then again at the side of my stomach. Blood flying everywhere, not knowing if it was theirs or mine.