"I've been practicing my routine for a month. My whole family came out to see me, and I didn't even make it to the chorus," one girl said. "It was totally unfair."
"See," I whispered to Polly like this was a good thing, "It will be over so fast, your nose won't have time to bleed."
I heard Rick before I saw him. His voice carried down the hallway in a clipped rhythm. "Well, isn't it just convenient then, that you were there to lug my equipment around."
"I didn't do it," Tanner said. I recognized his voice too. In fact my heart paused for several seconds at the sound of it. Something that shouldn't happen.
I heard the sound of footsteps and knew Rick and Tanner were about to round the corner. "I told you I wouldn't sing the song," Rick said. "But that wasn't enough, was it?"
"I didn't do it," Tanner said again.
And then they were walking toward the rest of us. Rick carried his guitar case in one hand while clutching a paper that read eighty-six. Tanner carried a boom box. Neither one saw me, and I knew I ought to turn my gaze to something else and pretend I didn't see them either. But I couldn't keep my eyes off of Tanner. Dark hair, square jaw, piercing blue eyes . . . I'd stop staring at him in a second. In another second. In another second.
He turned and caught my eye. I looked back at Polly, who was watching me with one eyebrow lifted. "Aren't you going to go say hi to him?" she whispered.
I hadn't told anyone about my phone call with Tanner last night. I just shook my head and tried to maintain a normal heart beat. Tanner's presence shouldn't fluster me. I'd just keep looking at Polly. He'd be gone in a second.
"Chelsea." His voice made me jump. I hadn't heard him walk over, but he stood beside me, still holding the boom box. Rick glared at me but followed him over.
I plastered on a smile. "Hi, Tanner." Then through gritted teeth I added, "Rick."
Tanner shifted the boom box under one of his arms. His gaze trained in on mine, and there was a tightness about his eyes. "Rick woke up this morning to find the air let out of the tires on his and my parents' cars. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
Surprise kept me from answering right away. I mean, sure my friends had talked about it, but I didn't think they'd do it. And how had they gotten inside of Rick's garage anyway?
I shrugged in Rick's direction. "I don't know, have never known, and never want to know anything about the air pressure in your cars' tires."
His head moved, like he wasn't sure whether to nod or shake his head, and he held out a finger in my direction. "I didn't put anything in your stupid duffel bags."
"Then we both have clean consciences, don't we?"
Tanner stepped between us. "Great. I'm glad you guys got a chance to straighten that out. Where do you want me to put your stuff, Richard?"
"Anywhere." Rick broke off from glaring at me to take in his surroundings. He waved to a place further down the hallway. "How about there."
Without another word, Tanner walked over and set the boom box down by the wall. Rick turned back to me. "I'm going to guard my stuff now, but in case you're wondering, I've got my guitar, my boom box, three CDs of background music"—he patted his jacket pocket—"and my iPod with speakers. There is no way you can sabotage my song."
I smiled back at him. "Has anyone told you that you're paranoid?"
"I'm prepared. Are you?" Rick sent me one last scowl and went off to guard his stuff.
Molly and Polly peered after him. "I think he has issues," Molly said.
"Should we have brought extra CDs of our backup music?" Polly asked, and her voice had the beginnings of panic.
"He's just trying to psyche us out," I said. "Besides, I have an extra copy of our background music in with my clothes." After all, I hadn't sung an a cappella duet with Mrs. Jones and learned nothing.
With his hands tucked into his pockets, Tanner walked back over to our group. Molly saw him coming, took hold of her bag and said, "Come on, Polly. Let's change into our football gear." Before she left, she paused, leaned in close to me and whispered, "I know he's your boyfriend, but don't take your eyes off of our background music for a second."
Paranoia, apparently, was catching.
The twins headed toward the restroom, which left me nothing to do but watch Tanner walk up.
"Hey," he said. "I just wanted to wish you good luck. Break a leg. Preferably not Richard's leg, though."
I knew he was trying to make me laugh but I couldn't muster much more than a smile.
Tanner glanced back at his brother. "Richard can't bring himself to ask you, but he really wants to know if Adrian is here."
"I'm not sure where she is. She'd already left with the car this morning when I got up. So Rick wasn't the only one who had to hitch a ride here."
Tanner's eyebrows lifted and disapproval sprung into his voice. "Adrian left you without a car?"
"Yeah, it's nice to have my family's support." I shrugged as though it didn't bother me, but Tanner didn't notice. He looked past me, his mind somewhere else.
"She won't talk to Richard," he said after a moment. "He's called and left messages but she won't return them. Why is she so upset?" He let the question linger in the air. I could tell he was trying to figure everything out, and I suddenly felt what I'd done was inexcusable. How could I explain to Tanner that I'd kept Adrian in the dark about Rick and me to protect her from him?
"When was the last time you talked to her?" he asked.
"I checked on her last night when I came in."
"But when was the last time you talked to her—said more than a few words in passing?"
"I don't know. She hasn't said much to me since she broke up with Rick."
He nodded as though this too was part of the puzzle, and I had to stifle the urge to spill everything. Why was it that Tanner did this to me? One well-placed look into my eyes and I would have turned over my diary and let him read the whole thing.
"Have you tried calling her to see where she is?"
"She didn't pick up."
"Maybe she will, if I call. What's her number?"
I gave him the number. If I hadn't, Rick would have.
"I'll let you know if I find anything out," he said. Then he wished me luck again and walked back down the hallway toward the auditorium doors.
Molly and Polly came out of the restroom dressed in football jerseys and sat on the floor again. I decided I'd wait until the goatee guy took more contestants backstage before I changed into my sparkly outfit. I didn't want to sweat in it. I recited the words to my song, chanting them like it was a prayer.
I could do this. I had an advantage over most of these people because I was used to performing in front of crowds. I performed at every pep assembly and game.
So yeah, Rick, who says cheerleading is a useless skill?
I wandered around talking to other people in the hallway, all the while keeping an eye on Rick. He sat by his stuff, listening to his iPod, and mouthing the words to whatever he was listening to. Curiosity propelled me in his direction, and I walked close by him, pretending I wanted a drink from the drinking fountain.
I recognized the music coming from his iPod. How could I not? It was the background music for "Dangerously Blonde."
So much for Rick's deal with his brother.
At ten-thirty, the judges took a break. They had to, because crushing all those dreams is strenuous work. Goatee guy came into the hallway, tapped his watch, and told us we had ten minutes before he took the next group of contestants backstage.
Rachel, Aubrie, and Samantha came to find me. They all gave me hugs. "The judges are going to love you," Samantha said.
"Yeah, because the rest of the numbers stink," Rachel said. "We've heard so many cracking voices you'd think they were serving helium back here."
Which is what jitters do to most voices and another reason I was glad I'd already sung in front of crowds.
Samantha let out a sigh. "I wish we could be up there with you."
" I 'm almo
st glad we're not," Aubrie said. "I'd be so nervous." She immediately looked like she wanted to take back the words. "Not that you should be nervous, because you'll do great."
"Thanks." I leaned in closer and lowered my voice. "I can't believe you guys let out the air of Rick's tires."
Samantha's head tilted. "What? We didn't do that."
I thought she was joking. "You really shouldn't have," I whispered. "You could have gotten in a lot of trouble if you'd been caught."
Rachel shook her head. "We didn't do it."
My gaze went back and forth between my friends, waiting for a smirk that would let me know they were lying. But they didn't smirk. "Then who did?"
Rachel shrugged. "Either an enemy of his or a fan of good music. They're both large categories."
Aubrie looked past Rachel and down the hallway. "Well, whoever did it, it didn't stop Rick for long. There he is."
"That doesn't matter," Samantha said. "All that matters now is what you can do on stage. And Chelsea, you can do it."
This statement was followed by several others along the same lines. They said they'd all come visit me in L.A. once I became a big star. Rachel made me promise that I'd introduce her to Orlando Bloom.
She might have requested a few other invitations as well, but Samantha glanced down the hallway and said, "There's Tanner."
Rachel's gaze flickered over to him. "Do you want us to stay or do you want time alone with him?"
Samantha didn't give me time to answer. "We're going. Trust me, when Tanner is around, you don't want to try and keep track of the verbal camouflage Chelsea throws around."
They wished me good luck again, and left.
Even before Tanner reached me, I could see the seriousness in his expression. It wasn't just in his eyes. It was in his walk, his posture. His gaze met mine, but he didn't smile.
I knew the look. I'd seen it before. It was the look of condolence people wear before they deal you a blow.
At first I didn't understand. I thought, well, he's going to give me some sort of talk where he officially says we shouldn't see each other anymore. Not much of a surprise, so it shouldn't hurt.
It shouldn't, but it still did. Each footstep he took down the hall bruised me.
And then I saw the open cell phone in his hand. It wasn't about us, I realized, it was about Adrian, and it wasn't good news. Even before he spoke, my heart stopped. Something horrible had happened.
Chapter 19
He held the phone out to me, hesitating. He didn't want to do this. It's a car crash, I thought with panic, just don't let her be dead.
"Adrian wants to talk to you," he said.
Good. She was alive. I took the phone from his hand but my hand shook. "Adrian, where are you?"
Her voice came across the line, ragged with emotion. "I'm in Spokane."
Which was way better than being in a hospital, but still, Spokane was an hour-and-a-half drive away—not a place a person with a learner's permit should go by herself. "What are you doing in Spokane?" I asked.
"I have a flight out at 1:00. I'm going to live with Dad."
Several seconds went by before I could speak then I sputtered out, "What? You can't do that." The worry pumped through me harder, because I knew she could. She shouldn't. But she could. He had joint custody.
I stepped away from Tanner to give myself privacy, to think.
"Dad said I could come anytime, and I think it would be best—" Her voice broke off.
"You don't think that," I said, because she couldn't. She knew what Dad was like as well as I did. I pressed the phone to my cheek, willing Adrian to be logical. "Turn around and come home. If you're leaving because you think I'm interested in Rick, you've got it all wrong. I went out with Tanner a couple of times. That's why his car showed up at our house. That's why Rick was talking to me at my locker."
She cut me off as though she hadn't heard me. "I know what I saw. Guys start out liking me but end up liking you. I'm just not enough for anybody. They all want to move on to Chelsea, the deluxe model."
I shut my eyes, trying to make all of this undo itself. "I promise you there is absolutely nothing between us."
"Maybe you believe that. Maybe you don't think about things until after they've 'just happened.' "
"Or maybe I'm telling you the truth."
"You're only making me feel worse for what I did." Her voice broke again. She didn't finish.
"What did you do?" I asked but I'd already guessed. She'd let the air out of Rick's tires. He'd forgive her easily enough, though. After all, he'd been asking for her. He wanted her here. My mind was already sprinting into the future, already bringing Adrian home. I turned so that I faced down the hallway toward where Rick sat. In a moment I'd walk over and hand hini the phone so that he could assure her that none of it mattered.
"I put the beer into your duffel bags."
The future skidded to a halt and I was suddenly back in the present. "You what?"
"It wasn't fair, Chelsea. You always get what you want." Her voice was not accusing now, just sinking, and asking me to understand. "It doesn't matter for most things, but music is all that Rick ever wanted. He's worked his whole life to succeed at it. I couldn't let you just waltz in and take that away from him on a whim. I'm sorry I got you and your friends suspended. I'll call the principal on Monday and confess."
It only vaguely registered in my mind that she didn't know I wasn't suspended. I gripped the phone, shocked. It had been my own sister. Tanner had told me that Rick wouldn't sink that low, but Adrian had. My thoughts spun around the betrayal; dark, black, and swirling with anger. It was an unforgivable act, worse than anything I did to her with Travis.
But my fury died as quickly as it flared up. It's hard to stay mad at a person when moments earlier your heart stopped beating in fear of her death.
And besides, my amazement seemed bigger, more solid than the anger. She'd done this for Rick. They weren't even going out anymore. She had thought he'd betrayed her in the ultimate way—by liking me—and yet she still cared enough about him to want to hand him his dream.
She had told me, but I hadn't believed her. She really did love him.
"Chelsea, are you still there?"
"Yeah, and I still want you to come home."
I heard her take a ragged breath. "I can't. I've ruined everything with you, and with Rick, and I just need to go away for a while."
"No, you don't—"
" I 'm sorry." Then silence. I checked the cell phone, but even before I saw the "call ended" sign, I knew she'd hung up.
I stared at the phone, my thoughts racing.
Tanner walked up. "Is she coming back home?"
I shook my head.
"Can you get a hold of your mother?"
I punched in her number, and waited, but she didn't answer. "I don't know what she could do anyway," I said as the phone rang. "She's in Arizona."
Mom's answering message came on. Her voice sounded so happy in it. It could, because she didn't realize she'd just lost one of her daughters. I told her to call me right away. Before I'd even hung up the phone, I walked over to Rick. Tanner followed me.
When I reached Rick, he looked up at me suspiciously, "What do you want?"
"Your help."
He shut his eyes and leaned back against the wall. "Sorry, last time I checked hell hadn't frozen over."
"It's about Adrian."
His eyes opened but he still regarded me suspiciously. His gaze darted over to his brother and then back to me. "What about Adrian?"
"She's at the airport in Spokane. She wants to go live with our dad because she thinks she's messed things up here too badly." I shoved the phone at him. "Call her. Tell her to come back home. She'll listen to you."
"What?" Rick's eyebrows drew together, like he didn't quite believe me. "Why did she leave?"
"She put the beer in the squad's duffel bags."
Instead of using Tanner's phone, Rick pulled out his own, and pressed Adrian's n
umber into it. He glanced back at me while he waited for it to connect. "Why did she do that?"
"Because she wanted to make sure you won the audition."
"And she didn't think I could beat you? That's a nice vote of confidence." As he held the phone to his ear, his hand tapped against his jeans. "So she'll be suspended. It's not the end of the world. There are worse things."
"Like living with my dad," I said.
Tanner and I watched Rick silently, waiting for a sign that Adrian had answered.
But Rick let out a grunt and shook his head. "She's not picking up." To her voice mail he said, "Adrian, don't get on the plane, okay? Just call me." He shut the phone and hit redial. I watched him while my insides slowly fell to my feet. She wasn't going to answer. She wasn't going to come home.
Rick stood up, agitated. "So much for 'she'll listen to you.' She won't even talk to me." He swore then, although I assume not into her voice mail. He shut his phone and called again. "It doesn't make sense. Why would she sabotage your song so I'd win, and then take off so I never see her again?"
It hurt to admit it, but I had to. "Well, she sort of thinks you have a crush on me."
"She what?" Rick said this too loudly, and several people stared in our direction. "Just because I was at your locker on Tuesday?"
"That, plus she saw Tanner take me home on Monday and thought it was you." Both Tanner and Rick stared at me, so I quickly added, "I told her she was wrong. I told her I'd never done anything to make you like me."
Rick hit the redial button. "That's the truth and then some."
While Rick paced around the floor cursing, Tanner continued to stare at me, his gaze heavy. I could tell he knew what I'd done. I took a step closer to him and lowered my voice. "I did tell Adrian there was nothing going on between Rick and me."
"But you didn't prove it to her. That would have been easy enough. All you would have had to do was tell her to talk to me."
"I thought it was better if they didn't get back together." When his eyes turned accusing, I added, "You said as much yourself when I went to dinner at your house. You were glad that Rick and Adrian had broken up."
He let out a sigh and his gaze traveled past me, to where Rick paced across the hallway with the phone. "He's been calling and leaving messages for her for the last two days, asking her to come to the auditions. He cares about her. So my opinion doesn't matter."