So what? That doesn’t change anything.
Katie fought the urge to glance at him over her shoulder.
Why didn’t anyone tell me he was going to be the best man? Why does he have to look so… so… good? What’s wrong with me? Come on, Katie, breathe. This doesn’t change anything. Couple more days, and he will be gone. And you’ll be…
She yanked open the chapel’s door and saw Julia standing there, holding her bouquet and posing for a photo by the stained-glass window.
Katie blinked away the piercing revelation that she didn’t know where she would be in a few more days. Don’t think about that now. This is Julia’s day. This is her moment. You are the woman of honor. Time to do the honorable thing and put your full attention on the bride.
Julia’s parents stood to the side. Inhaling fresh courage, Katie went to them and whispered, “Did you see your corsage there in the box? And your boutonniere? Let me get them for you.”
From that moment on, all was movement, photos, smiles, and guests arriving and filling the seats.
The violinist played her solo, and Katie took steady steps down the runner, holding her birdie bouquet in front of her as unswayingly as possible so the dove wouldn’t flap about.
She glanced at Dr. Ambrose. He looked happy and confident, standing there under the arch, waiting for his bride. Katie gave him a quick grin and kept her focus straight. She didn’t dare let her eyes venture over to Eli where he stood next to the groom.
Katie made the turn at the front gracefully and heard the distinctive coo of her stowaway.
It’s okay. It’s an outdoor wedding. No one will think it’s unusual to hear a bird out here.
Julia’s mother rose from her chair, and the other guests rose with her. The violinist changed to what Katie now knew must be Handel’s “Water Music,” and down the white runner floated Julia.
All brides are beautiful, of that Katie was sure. Julia was no exception. She came forward serene and radiant. As Julia took her place beside her husband-to-be, she let go of her father’s arm and handed off her bouquet to Katie.
Katie had forgotten about that woman of honor duty. She had been doing fine with the swaying bouquet as long as she had both hands to hold it secure. Now she had Julia’s bouquet in one hand and hers in the other.
You can do this. Relax. And whatever you do, don’t look at Eli!
The ceremony was traditional and lovely in its simplicity. During all of it, Katie could feel Eli’s persistent gaze on her. She looked at him only once, when he handed his uncle the rings. Katie thought Eli would be looking at Dr. Ambrose when he did the hand off, but no, Eli met her gaze, and her poor stomach was a mess. She looked down and noticed a white splurt freshly deposited on the front of her black dress from the nervous dove.
Great! I know you’re a bit rattled in there, little dove, but could you try to hold it just a little longer?
Katie focused back on Julia. Vows exchanged, Dr. Ambrose was invited to “kiss your bride.” He gave Julia a short kiss followed by a second and then a third. The guests rustled with warm murmurs the way guests do at weddings whenever the kiss between the bride and groom is especially tender.
Julia and Dr. Ambrose turned to face their guests, all smiles and rosiness. Katie handed Julia her bouquet.
Okay, this is it, little dove.
Katie reached for the latch on the backside of her bouquet.
The pastor said, “It is now my privilege to introduce to you for the very first time…” He glanced at Katie, waiting for her to release the dove.
Katie gave the cage a little wiggle. Come on, baby, spread your wings. You can do it!
“… these two people whom all of us have come to know and love…”
Clearly, the pastor was stalling for Katie’s benefit. She tipped the cage. Gravity had been her helpful assistant earlier. Why not now?
Katie shook the bouquet, and the dove tumbled to the grass and lay there, unmoving.
Oh, no! It’s dead!
Before Katie could panic, the pastor raised his voice saying, “… the newly married, Dr. and Mrs. Jonathan Ambrose.”
At that moment, the strong-hearted dove raised her head, stretched her wings, and up she flew. Everyone gasped. It was as if the dove’s wedding flutter had been choreographed. She flew in a half-circle above Katie’s head, then over the pastor, then over Eli, and then, with lovely, slow-flapping white wings, the dove seemed to rest midair over Julia and Dr. Ambrose just as they walked down the aisle.
Katie’s mouth opened in amazement, as the gentle dove followed the bride and groom to the end of the runner and then, in a magnificent show of strength and bravery, soared into the heavens.
Everyone saw it. Their faces expressed astonishment and delight. Especially Dr. Ambrose. When Katie saw his expression, she knew the gift of the dove was more than just her idea of a fun little surprise. It was a God-thing. It was God’s idea of a special wedding gift all along. He simply had nudged Katie to help him pull it off.
Katie’s face felt like a pink sunrise of heavenly glee. She stood in place, grinning wildly and forgot the next and final step in the ceremony. She was supposed to meet Eli halfway, at the altar, take his arm, and exit down the aisle with him.
The pastor cleared his throat. Katie glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He dipped his head and raised his eyebrows above the top rim of his glasses as a signal that Katie was up to bat.
“Oh!”
Katie looked over at Eli. She took her three steps toward the middle. He did the same. Only, with each step Eli took, his hand was over his heart, and his eyes were fixed on Katie. Just as she had seen him do before, Eli thumped his chest with the flat of his palm. One… two… three times.
In a deep and resonating place inside, Katie heard the unspoken words that attached themselves to those three beats. They came over her unforced, like a wave.
I… love… you.
29
You should try to eat something.” Christy gave Katie a concerned look. “I have English muffins. Do you want me to toast one for you?”
“No, I don’t think my stomach could take it.” Katie flopped back on the air mattress where she had set up camp in the corner of Christy and Todd’s living room. “Man, when did you ever hear me say I couldn’t eat? Like, never, right?”
“And you said you don’t have any other symptoms? No more sweats or aches or anything?”
“No, I just can’t eat.” Katie looked up at the clock. “You don’t have to stay up any longer, watching me melt away to nothingness.”
“Not to destroy my bedside manner, or should I say, air-mattress-side manner, but I was waiting up for Todd. He’s usually home by this time on Sunday nights. He’s probably talking to someone. That seems to be half his job lately, just listening to teens and counseling them. At least the Elder Board recognized the uncharted hours he spends doing the counseling, and they agreed to keep him on staff through the summer.”
“Then what?”
“We don’t know.”
Katie untangled her legs from her blanket cocoon. “I guess God is keeping both of us in suspense about what’s next.”
Christy smiled softly. “He’s kept us in suspense before. But he’s never abandoned us.”
Katie picked up her pillow in its Little Mermaid pillowcase and hugged it to her chest. “Well, there could be a first time for everything. Especially if your charming manager doesn’t call me this week and say that the other renter backed out so I can have the apartment.”
“Katie, you know God is going to do one of his God-things. He always does. How many times over the years have you been the one to tell me that?”
“I think it’s easier to believe goodness and hope for your friends than it is for yourself.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m your best friend, Katie, because I believe. I believe God has his hand on your life. He has from the moment you were conceived. God has plans for you, surprising plans. Your life was his idea. This
isn’t a dead end but a beginning of new adventures.”
Just then the front door opened. Todd gave his wife a big smile. His gaze fell on Katie, and he frowned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Katie wiped away a tear. “Nothing. Your wife was just trying to cheer me up.”
“If I had known the two of you were here cheering each other up, I would have had you come help us.” Todd headed for the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
“Help who?” Christy asked.
Todd pulled out some apple juice and drank the last of it directly from the bottle. “Eli. Some guy bought Eli’s furniture. I was helping them to dismantle and load the stuff into the guy’s truck. There wasn’t a lot, but it took awhile. Eli’s leaving in the morning. You knew that, right, Katie?”
Katie felt as if Todd had punched her in the stomach. “No, I didn’t know when he was leaving.”
“That’s right.” Todd stepped back into the living room and gazed at Katie with his silver- blue eyes. “You probably didn’t know when he was leaving because you haven’t been talking to him. He said you avoided him at the wedding yesterday. Are you okay with his leaving without you saying good-bye?”
Katie shook her head slowly. “No, I guess I’m not okay with it. I thought I would be, but I’m really not. I need to go up there and say good-bye. I mean, he’s going far away. I may never see him again.” Katie’s eyes filled with tears.
Christy said, “You should go, Katie. Go talk to him.”
“He’s not there,” Todd said.
“Where is he?”
“He went to his uncle’s to stay overnight since he sold his bed and had nowhere to sleep. Julia and Dr. Ambrose are on their honeymoon, so their house is empty.”
Katie felt her hands clench and unclench inside her sweatshirt’s front pocket. “Do you know where Dr. Ambrose lives?”
“No.”
“Well, maybe I’ll just call Eli.” Katie strode across the room and scrounged in her purse for her phone. “Have you seen my phone, Christy? Did I plug it in somewhere?”
Todd sat down on the couch. “So what are you going to tell Eli when you call him?”
“I don’t know. I’ll wish him a safe trip. Where is my phone? Maybe I left it in my car.”
“And after you wish him a safe trip, what are you going to tell him?”
Christy now had taken a seat next to Todd. Both of them focused on Katie.
“I don’t know. I’ll tell him I hope he has a nice life in Africa.”
“Is that all?”
“Probably.” Katie faced her friends with both hands on her hips. “What is this? Some sort of intervention?”
Todd and Christy looked at each other and exchanged expressions Katie couldn’t categorize. “Now there’s an option we never thought of,” Todd said.
“Listen.” Katie tried to calm down by sitting in a chair across from the board of examiners. “You guys think Eli is wonderful. I get it. No argument there. But as far as he and I or him and me or however you say it… no.”
“No?” Christy’s blue-green gaze was burning a hole in Katie.
“Why?” Todd’s voice came across demanding and authoritative, which wasn’t his usual style.
“He’s… I’m… we’re… no!”
“Why?” Todd asked again, this time with less verve.
“He’s going to live in Africa,” Katie blurted out. “Probably for the rest of his life. That’s the home of his heart, Africa.”
“You said you always wanted to go to Africa,” Christy reminded her.
“I did. I do! But I was thinking more like for a visit. Go do some good and come back.”
“Come back to what?” Todd asked.
Katie felt the bottom drop out. She couldn’t answer him.
“What do you have here that you couldn’t leave behind?”
She didn’t answer.
Todd asked again. “Really, what do you have that would permanently tie you to this place?”
“Nothing!” Katie shouted the answer true and clear. “You know that. All my belongings fit in the back of my car. I don’t have anything that’s keeping me here.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Todd leaned forward. “So what would you have to lose if you let go of what you have here — and letting go does seem to be a key to what’s going on here — and what if you bought a one-way ticket to Kenya? What would you have to lose, Katie?”
She wished she had some sassy sort of answer, but all she had was truth floating openly on the top of her spirit. She scooped it up and handed Todd that answer. “Nothing.”
Todd scratched the side of his square jaw. “I see such a picture in all this. A picture of Christ and his bride, the church.”
Christy gave Todd a questioning glance, as if she couldn’t believe that was what popped out of his mouth.
“It’s like this, Katie.” Todd sat back on the couch. “You have been given every reason to believe Eli wants to be with you and share life with you. But you resist even though you have nothing to lose. It’s a matter of the heart, really. Free will and all that. You get to choose. You know he wants you. You know it. The question has been, and still is, do you want him?”
Katie couldn’t move. Her stomach was a mess. Swallowing the tears she refused to let out, she lifted her chin. “So what do you think would happen if I said yes?”
Todd folded his hands behind his neck. “You tell me.”
Christy grinned. “For one thing, I’m pretty sure your appetite would come back.”
“And you’re saying Eli and I would go live with the giraffes and lions and end up happily ever after.” Katie could hear the quiver in her voice.
Todd and Christy looked at each other with soft smiles.
“It can happen,” Todd said.
Katie felt like a hundred kernels of popcorn were going off inside her head. “I can’t believe you guys are telling me it’s okay to just pack my bags — ”
“Your bags already are packed,” Christy interrupted.
“ — and buy a one-way ticket for Kenya tomorrow.”
“Why not?” Todd asked. “Wonders of the modern world. You can buy a plane ticket to anywhere right from the comfort of our apartment. And if you don’t have enough to cover the cost of the ticket, Christy and I will help you out, won’t we?”
“I think she has enough.” Christy kept her blue green laser beam fixed on Katie. “She has enough of everything she needs to make this decision, including all her immunizations and malaria pills. As a matter of fact, I think you made this decision awhile ago, Katie. You’ve just been waiting for someone like us to give you a little kick out the door.”
The room went still. Katie didn’t look away from Todd and Christy.
Todd’s calm voice rode across the silence. “Katie, what are you afraid of?”
A little covey of tears clouded her vision. “I invested so much in Rick. So many years. So many emotions. So much of myself. It seems I should wait longer. Not be vulnerable again so soon. It would be safer to wait, don’t you think? It’s better if I hold off and not get emotionally connected to anyone. Especially not to someone on the other side of the world. It’s too much, too soon, too far.”
“It hurts when you fall off a cloud,” Todd said. “Even if you jumped off. We all understand that. So does that mean you’re going to lie on the ground and play dead?”
Katie thought about the dove tumbling from its floral cage yesterday and lying without moving on the grass.
“No.” Katie’s voice was barely a whisper. Then again, with more certainty, as if her soul was starting to flutter upward, she emphatically said, “No!”
“Then do it, Katie.” Christy’s eyes sparkled. “Get on that plane tomorrow and see what God has for you and Eli together in Africa. You can always come home. We’ll be here for you. But if you don’t take this chance now, you might miss the next surprising God-thing he has waiting for you.”
Katie and Christy exc
hanged a deep-hearted expression of understanding.
“Okay.”
As soon as Katie spoke the golden word, Todd stood up. “Okay,” he repeated matter-of-factly. He opened the laptop sitting on the kitchen table. “Eli’s flight goes out of San Diego at 6:30 tomorrow morning.”
“How do you know that? Are you giving him a ride?”
“No. Eli gave his car to Joseph. I heard them talking about what time Joseph needed to pick him up. I also heard Eli say he had a layover in London. All we have to do is find a 6:30 flight to Nairobi out of San Diego that connects in London and see if God saved you a seat.”
“Start sorting out your things,” Christy said. “We’ll keep what you don’t need here in our storage closet. If you want any extra toothpaste or shampoo, you can take whatever I have.”
Katie set to work packing once again, this time simplifying her life down to what she could fit in one large duffle bag and a carry-on tote. Todd found the flight that matched the criteria and booked Katie a window seat.
“Or would you prefer aisle?”
“I don’t care. I can’t believe we’re doing this. The two of you are accomplices, you know. If this whole thing blows up, you’ll have to admit your involvement. Could get messy.”
“Love tends to be messy,” Todd said.
“And inconvenient,” Katie added, remembering what Eli had said at Strawberry Peak Lookout. “Do you guys really think this is love? Do you think I’m in love with Eli, and I just haven’t admitted it to myself?”
“Whatever it is, you’ll have lots of time to figure it out on your way there. Your flight is twenty-seven hours,” Todd responded.
“With a four-hour layover in London,” Christy added. “Do you want to take a shower?”
“In London?”
“No, now. It’s 1:45 in the morning. If you’re supposed to be at the airport two hours before departure for international flights and if it takes us an hour to drive to the airport, that means we should leave in an hour.”
Katie dashed through a shower. She put on her most comfortable traveling clothes and snagged a bar of soap from under the sink. Pulling together some important papers from her portable file, Katie called out, “Chris, do you have a dollar?”