Chapter 10
Good Times with the Guild
“The Guild of Sundry?! Those... those clowns?! You're telling me that you're... that they're... that we're...” Ezra sputtered and nearly fell out of his chair.
Agent Doe gave him a shocked look and Mr. Blair burst into a deep belly laugh, reaching a hand out in front of Doe and gesturing with his fingers. She tore off the glasses and slammed them into his hand, glaring at Ezra.
“I can't believe it! You really didn't figure it out? After everything you saw? The base? The freaking gliders?! Ugh, this is so typical.” She threw her hands up in disgust, then crossed her arms, looking away from Ezra. “I'll get you back for this, Ezzy.”
Mr. Blair's laughter died down slowly, as he wiped a few tears from his eyes. “That aspect of what we do, what you know as the Guild of Sundry, was actually founded because of your family. Before your grandfather developed traversable portals, your great grandfather had managed to create stable, non-traversable wormholes. Unfortunately, there were some rather bizarre unanticipated side effects for reality. Sections of Sanctuary would loop in time, slow down or even freeze. It caused completely understandable panic.”
“Wait, I've heard of that.” Ezra frowned. “But... but that was just a Guild of Sundry prank. I heard that there were teams of performers all over the city, acting normally, freezing for a minute, then continuing as if nothing happened. Or acting out the same sequence of events over and over. There are videos of it on the net! You're telling me that it was all...”
Ezra stopped talking as the pieces started coming together in his head. GoS on the doors in the secret base. Guild of Sundry. The man in the base he had fled saying something about a mission. Gliders out everywhere, covering up what he was doing, making it all part of the event. Just like they had for his great grandfather. “You cover it up. The things that would frighten people, that would make them ask questions that could lead to answers you don't want to share. The Guild of Sundry. And no-one looks past it, because they think it's all just an elaborate prank.”
“And you couldn't have figured this out two minutes ago?” Agent Doe shot him an exasperated glance.
“Unfortunately, I'm afraid we've run out of time here. There's a skiff waiting outside to take you home. Miss Doe, please escort Mr. Hawkins and see to it that he has an appropriate cover story. We'll contact you soon, Ezra.” Mr. Blair deftly removed the card from the table and wiped its memory.
Ezra was still caught up in thought. He wracked his brain for other Guild of Sundry events, trying to tie them to potential cover-ups. The Day of Pants-less Shuttles... maybe something that made people forgetful? The University Statue Caper... had someone animated statues? The Great Waffle Switch... a... um... huh. He looked up to find Mr. Blair gone and Agent Doe waiting for him at the door, smiling a knowing smile.
“The Great Waffle Switch?” she asked. Ezra blinked and nodded his head. The girl shrugged. “I don't think anyone's figured that one out. Come on, we should get you home.”
They walked back through the DOLT office and collected Ezra's belongings. Ezra was still trying to work through everything he had heard that night. Outside, the Founder's Day gala had finally come to end. Streets were mostly clear, and the dizzying kaleidoscope of color that painted the town was beginning to fade. A closed skiff was parked in front of the building. They got in and it hovered to life, gliding off into the night toward the Hawkins estate.
“Ezra,” Doe said, looking directly at him, “I'm going to help you with your cover story, but it will be up to you to make sure that it sticks. You're going to have to deal with the people in your life who might notice something is off or ask difficult questions.”
“Okay, I think I can manage something Agent Doe... look, do you have a real name? Something I can call you?” He thought the question might somehow be inappropriate. How were you supposed to ask secret agent for her name?
She smiled back at him. “I'm afraid it really is Doe. I come from a long line of Doe's, all the way back to a man at Founding who apparently didn't want to give his real name. A proud family with a long-standing grunt tradition.”
Ezra winced. Grunt, or more formally, GRNT, stood for General Research Non-inheriting Technician. They were the people who never got a breakthrough, the nuts and bolts of Sanctuary. Assistants, maintenance workers, service technicians... the kinds of people who went to school to learn rather than being taught at home by parents or siblings. And certainly not the sort of people a Legacy heir should be overly friendly with. How was he going to work her into any plausible cover story? Kirsten O'Donnell would never find this acceptable, and the woman had a tendency to pierce even his most carefully laid deceptions.
“I'm afraid you still have me at a disadvantage,” he said, making small-talk while he furiously thought up and dismissed idea after idea. “A first name maybe? Something a little... less formal?”
“Most people typically call me Doe, but to friends I'm Gal. I think we can be friends, even though I'm still immensely disappointed in you.”
“Gal?” he said sceptically.
She paused as she took out a tube of cherry red lipstick and gave him a level look. “Short for Galois. My parents wanted a boy. And a mathematician. I figured since I'd already failed at the first, I shouldn't even bother trying for the second. Hence the Guild.”
Ezra made every effort not to laugh. Her name wasn't her fault. Also, she probably still had that taser somewhere. “Gal, then. It's a pretty name.”
She rolled her eyes and began applying the lipstick. He grimaced as he dismissed another plan involving a prolonged stay with local grunts to rekindle his passion for research. Gal really wasn't being very helpful with this whole cover story thing. Ezra was about to say something when they came to a stop. He looked out the window in a panic as the Hawkins estate loomed above them. He wasn't ready, he hadn't thought of anything yet, he needed more time!
Ezra turned despairing eyes back to Gal just as she grabbed his head firmly with both hands and gave him a big, wet kiss on the left cheek. She then reached past, opened the door, and pushed him out. He stumbled but caught himself before he could fall. Gal grinned at him through the open door.
“Good luck, Ezzy.” She gave him a wink. “I know you'll do me proud.”
The woman began to close the door but he caught it halfway. She looked up at him quizzically. “I just have one more question,” he said. “Why the phone booth?”
Her grin returned, even wider and more dazzling than before. “I thought that would be obvious. Where else would you go to become a hero?”