THE AMAZING YARN OF THE BO'S'N'S MATE
AN ACCOUNT OF AN UNUSUAL PRIZE
"Now this is the tale that was told to me By a battered and shattered old son of the sea, To me and my messmate, Silas Green, When I was a guileless young marine."
ANCIENT SEA SONG
The second dog-watch, from six to eight in the evening, is thesailor's play-time. Unless some emergency requires it, drills andduties are suspended for the time being and Jackie, except for supper,has his time to himself. The older seamen usually collect on theforecastle; sometimes in the lee gangway in rough weather. There theysprawl themselves on the deck, or dispose themselves comfortablyagainst the rails or the bitts, or even the anchor-fluke, if everyplace is occupied, or the boom boats if the waist be the place ofassemblage, and smoke their pipes and yarn.
The ordinary seamen, the landsmen, and the ship's boys, if they arenot rigorously excluded from the top-gallant forecastle, or from closeproximity to the group of worthies who literally "take the deck," areforced to stand afar off, at any rate, where they listen to marvellousrecitals as best they can. The midshipmen, however, as a species ofprivileged intermediaries between officers and men, often make a partof these exclusive circles, especially when yarning is going on.
Among all the tellers of strange tales on the famous United Statesfrigate _Neversink_, Jack Lang, the old bo's'n's mate, held the chiefplace by general consent, and the sound of his deep voice raised innarration was sure to attract to his side every available reefer notspecifically on duty, and all the old shellbacks, to whom yarning andlistening to yarns were as the breath of life. And nowhere will youfind better listeners than at a dog-watch "gam" on a ship'sforecastle. The old man's services on the _Neversink_ were invaluablein every way, his word was law forward of the mast as the captain'swas on the quarter-deck, and even as a story-teller he was supreme.
One mild, pleasant evening this before-the-mast autocrat and raconteurfound himself the centre of an interested group on the forecastle. Themidshipmen were burning for a yarn. They had learned, however, thatthe surest way not to have their desire gratified was to ask a sailorfor a story. Certainly this was true of this particular old salt, andit was necessary to approach him by indirection. The conversationturned, as it frequently does in the forecastle, on the quarter-deck,and everywhere else, on woman.
"Wot's the matter with leetle Sammy Bowline?" queried the old man in apause in the conversation. "I seed him a-weepin' an' a-bellerin' likewot you Yankees call a 'caow' in the fust dog-watch."
"A cow don't weep, Jack," answered a maintopman who had been alumbering bucolic dairyman when the _Neversink_ left port six monthssince, but who was now a smart young light yardman.
"Hev you seen all the cow critters on the yearth, youngster?"
"No, but----"
"Well, some cows weeps, I sez, an' this'n' did," answered the oldsailor, sententiously. "Anyway, Sammy Bowline, he bawled awful."
"I reckon he's homesick fer his ma," remarked Billy Clumpblock, thecaptain of the maintop. "I just guv him a few teches with me colt totake it out'n him, w'ich I've larned that w'alin' is werry good ferhomesickness, an' sent him up in the top, as he calls it, to 'spell awatch.'"
"It's a sing'lar thing," continued the old bo's'n's mate, "how muchmen an' boys thinks of feemales, sech as mothers an' sech likepussons. It stands ter reason thay ain't necessary to nobody'sexistence, though it's agreed that we all had 'em onct, though I'vegot no evidence of it in my own case 'ceptin' general report. Look atthis ship, now. There ain't a woman on board of her, an' if they was,she'd be considerably disorganized, w'ich I means the ship an' p'rapsthe feemale too."
"They seems ter be necessary on shore, though," remarked the chiefquartermaster, a much-married man.
"P'raps they be. But they're no 'count on sea."
"I've heered them called the weaker sex," said the purser's yeoman,who was fond of literature of the dime novel variety. "I guess that'sbecus they can't make sailor-men out'n 'em."
"Wall, naow," drawled the Jack-o'-the-dust, a studious New Englander,given to historic research as he could manage it, "there hev beenwimmin sailor-men. I've read abaout 'em. There was two pyrates oncean' they was wimmin. An' they was the wust kind of pyrates, too."
"That's nateral," said the autocrat of the forecastle; "it stands terreason that a woman'd be a bad sailor an' she'd also make a badpirate."
"They wus good pyrates," continued the down-easter.
"Good pirates? There ain't no sech thing," chimed in another sailor,filling the responsible position of captain of the hold.
"I mean they wus bludthirsty feemale villains, an' they done thepyrate bisness up jest's fine's if they'd a-bin men."
"I had an amazin' experience with wimmin onct," said the old bo's'n'smate, reflectively.
"I should say you had," broke in a young midshipman; "I've heard youspeak of your 'ol' woman' hundreds of times, and all the troubleyou've caused her."
"I don't mean her, Mr. Bobstay. God rest her soul; she's dead, sir;an', as fer the kids, my darter's married an' the boys is God knowswhere. I brung 'em up ter be good sailor-men, though, an' whereverthey is, I guess they're a-doin' of their dooty. This was another kindof a feemale. You see, lads an' young gentlemen all, in theMed't'ranean in 1800 I was bo's'n's mate, an', like this yere ship, wedidn't kerry no bo's'n on the little hooker _Grampus_, the luckiestbarkie that ever carried the American flag. She was schooner riggedw'en I was on her. Then they turned her inter a brig, an' now they'rethinkin' o' makin' a full-rigged ship of her. They've done everythingthey kin to spile her. She's the slowest old tub afloat now, I'mtelled, but let anything British take arter her an' she jest naterallytakes a bone in her teeth an' rips away. Lordie, to think of thatlittle ship a-doin' all the things she's done! Wall, where was I,mates?"
"You wa'n't now'ere. You was gittin' ready to go som'er's, tho', Iguess," said the quartermaster.
"To be sure. Wall, as I was sayin', I was bo's'n's mate, an' that wasbein' ekal to bein' bo's'n on that 'ere schooner, an' CommodoreRattlin was jest takin' command of her. My, but he's a sailor an' afighter! I never seed any one like him an' I have fit in some rightgood hard battles sence, onless 'twas Commodore Paul Jones, w'en wetuk the _Serrypis_ nigh onto forty years ago. I was a smart youngforetopman in them days, lads, an' it was me wot the commodore sentout on that main-yard-arm to drop them grenades down the hatchway ofthe _Serrypis_ that blowed her up. So I allus thought that I won adeal of that battle myself, though the commodore got the most credit.Let's see. W'ere was I?"
"You was on the _Grampus_ w'ich Commodore Rattlin was takin' commandof," said the Jimmy-Legs, lighting his pipe.
"So I was. So I was, tho' he was only a leftenant then, lads,"continued the old man. "Wall, we was mighty keen for prize money inthem days, an', fer that matter, I ain't never seed the day, so far'sI'm consarned, w'en I wasn't ekally desirous of gittin' my share ofthe same. Now, you youngsters, an' you haymakers,--w'ich is a bitunjest to you, p'r'aps, becus you've larned to be putty fairsailor-men sence we tuk our departure from Boston,--ye know prizemoney's divided into twenty parts by the laws of the United States.The cap'n he gits three parts; the leftenants an' sailin'-master, theygits two parts; the marine officers, surgeon, purser, bo's'n, gunner,carpenter, master's mates, an' chaplain, they gits two; three partsgoes to the steerage an' chief petty officers, the other pettyofficers gits three, an' the balance of the crew gits seven."
"Seems to me the crew don't git no fair share," interrupted one of thenew hands.
"We're lucky to git anything at all," commented the old seaphilosopher. "They used to say you throwed the prize money at aladder. Wot went through was diwided betwixt the cap'n an' th'officers an' petty officers, the cap'n takin' the biggest share. Wotstuck to the rounds was fer the crew. An' if they hadn't tarred therounds in sum instances I knows of," he went on, mendaciously, "theywouldn't a-got none. Howsomever, this yere explanation is necessaryfer to understand this yarn."
&
nbsp; "I'd like to know wot prize money's got to do with wimmin," remarkedBilly Clumpblock.
"My lad," said the bo's'n's mate, sapiently, "prize money's got a lotto do with wimmin, as you'll find out, especially if you go ashorewith a pocketful of it. It had suthin' to do with the wimmin I'm goin'to tell ye of, anyway. One pleasant day in December, 1803, we was aratchin' to an' fro in the Med't'ranean on the _Grampus_ a-lookin' outfer Algerian cruisers, w'en we run acrost a ketch."
"What's a ketch, Jack?" asked one midshipman.
"Well, a ketch--an' the rest on you pay attention, too; if ye justtake notice to wotever I says, ye lubbers, you'll soon know a heapabout the sea an' other things. Bein' a silent man myself, I don't saymuch, as ye may hev noticed; therefur, w'en I do say suthin' it'swal'able. A ketch is a wessel wot has one big mast set well aft aboutmidships an' a little one way aft of the fust one. This is to leave acl'ar space forrard fer a bum [bomb]. They're mostly used fer that,w'ich is w'y they are called bum ketches, ye know. This one, however,had a cargo more dangerous an' onsettlin' than bums would ha' been,fer w'en we ranged alongside an' throwed a shot over her, you neverheered sech a screechin' an' yellin' in all yer life.
"'Good Lord!' said Cap'n Rattlin out loud, w'ich as he was young an'impulsive like an' not used to controllin' his feelin's like me, hejest spoke right out. 'Good Lord!' he sez, 'wot hev we run inter?'
"'It 'pears to me,' spoke up Mr. Parbuckle, actin' as his first luff,w'ich he was only a midshipman an' had no experience wotever with thefeemale sex,--but I've allus noticed that it's them as has littleexperience as knows the most, specially 'bout wimmin,--'it 'pears tome,' he sez, 'that them's wimmin.'
"'Wimmin?' roars the cap'n. 'Wot are they a-doin' there? Well,' hesez, 'we'll soon find out,' sez he. With that he shoved the schoonerin clus to the ketch an' hailed her. Of course, the conwersation bein'carried on in lingo Franco, w'ich I understands, it was all werryclear to me, an' I told the rest of the fok's'l wot was happ'nin'.
"'Ahoy!' the cap'n cried, 'wot ship is that?' An' then a measly oldTurk he come over to the side an' throwed his flag in the water an'waved his arms an' bowed to the deck, but didn't say nuthin'. He wasso skeered he was most frightened out of his baggy britches. He couldsee the smokin' matches, an' we was jest itchin' to turn our gunsloose on the old heathen, with his wildcats, or wotever they was. Thecap'n bein' young an' impetuous like, he hails ag'in. He sez,--
"'W'y don't you answer me?' he sez. 'Ain't ye got no tongue?' he sez.'Don't you hear me? W'ere are you from? W'ere are you bound? Wot hevye got on board? If ye don't speak up I'll turn a broadside on ye.'
"With that that old Turk he unstoppered his jaw tackle an' reels offan extr'ordin'ry lot o' stuff, but we makes out, me an' the cap'ndoes, that he was from Tripoli three days out. That his ketch's namewas the _Stamico_, or sum sech other outlandish name, an' that she wasloaded with feemale slaves fer the Sultan of Turkeys.
"Gosh-o'-mighty, if the cap'n hadn't insisted all the time on the mostsharpest dissypline on that there leetle ship, I'd a yelled an'laughed outrajus, an' the men would hev busted inter cheers. As itwas, I didn't dare to tell the crew all that bit of news; I jest guv'em a leetle to keep 'em goin' an' hove to under the lee of theforemast where nobody seed me an' cut loose a few steps myself.
"'This is a putty how-de-do,' sez Cap'n Rattlin.
"'Wot'll we do, sir?' axes Mr. Parbuckle. 'Wot'll we do with themfeemale slaves? I reckon we'll have to bring 'em aboard here, fer wecan't let the ketch go,' sez that youngster.
"He was as excited as any of us, an' I reckon the cap'n was hisself,if the truth was to be told. Sech a prize as that ain't picked upevery day at sea, ye know, shipmates.
"'You know old Commodore Ringtailboom,' continoos Mr. Parbuckle,grave-like; 'you know, sir, he wants a boat jest like this ketch forinshore work.'
"'You're right, sir,' sez Rattlin, werry solemn; 'take a boat, Mr.Parbuckle, an' go over there an' tell that beastly Turk we'll have totransship his cargo over here aboard the _Grampus_.'
"I was cox'n of that boat, young gentlemen, an' we went off armed tothe teeth, not so much fer fear of the Turks, but on account of themfeemales. You see, we didn't know wot'd happen to us with a ketch loadof wimmin folk, an' we went prepared fer the wust. Wall, may I bejiggle-toggled, shipmates, but sech a screechin' an' yellin' you neverheered w'en we got aboard. Bein' a chief petty officer an' the next incommand, as it was, an' the most experienced, bein' a married man, Mr.Parbuckle, he tells me to go below an' see wot I could make out of thelot, w'ile he speaks to the beastly Turkey cap'n. Fer a reefer, younggentlemen," said the old sailor, "he was the bashfullest feller I everseed. 'Tis a rare and onsettlin' quality in the class,--meanin' nooffence," he added, amid a general laugh, in which the midshipmenheartily joined. "I didn't want nuthin' better'n that job, so I jumpedbelow to tackle it, took off my hat, an' sez, most pleasant like,'Ladies, yer most obejient an' 'umble sarvant.'
"They all run forrard at that an' crowded inter the eyes of the shipto git away from me. I suppose I must ha' looked mighty fierce, wotwith cutlass an' pistol an' the pigtail we allus wore them days, an'w'en I tried to tell 'em that I come peaceable like, they was makin'sech a noise that they didn't seem to pay no 'tention to wot I said. Ithought the best way to ca'm 'em an' to assure 'em of my peacefulintentions was--well--er--I jest caught the nearest one by the arm,slipped my own arm 'bout her waist, an'--an'--smacked her good!"
"Oh, Jack, you old sinner!" yelled the youngsters in chorus.
"Dooty, gentlemen; a true sailor-man is allus ready to sakerficehisself fer his country, an' I done it cheerful then, bein' as 'twasin the line of dooty."
"I guess you did," said Midshipman Cringle, sagely.
"Thankee, sir," continued the bo's'n's mate, oblivious to the sarcasm."She yelled sum at fust, but she seemed to like it. Of course, Irepeats, it was all one to me, jest in the line of duty, as I sez,though I hev done more disagreeable jobs than that. I jest patted heron the head a bit w'en I got hold of her, an' told her to ca'm down,that we wa'n't goin' to hurt her, an' she seemed to feel summatassured, but, as we arterwards larned, she didn't understand a word Iwas a-sayin'! Howsomever, suthin' satisfied her. Perhaps 'twas myactions. Well, now, you youngsters, you must remember that I wasyounger then than I am now, an' there wa'n't a likelier sailor-man onthe sea, ef I do say so myself. The rest of the cargo stopped makin'that infernal noise w'en they seed wot was happ'nin', an'----"
"Jack!" said Midshipman Futtocks, severely, "and you an old man! I'mashamed of you!"
"Mr. Futtocks," said the old sailor, "as I hev said, it was strictlyin the line of dooty, an' I was a young man at that time, sir. Mr.Parbuckle, he ordered me to pacify 'em, an' I was a-doin' the best Icould. I was only a poor ignorant sailor-man in them days, an'couldn't be blamed fer a thing like that. W'ich I've got moreexperience now, tho' I don't say I wouldn't be willin' to sakerfice myfeelin's to my dooty again if 'twas demanded of me. Well, I got 'emquiet by this means, anyway, w'ich I'm sorry to say you blames me fer,but w'ich my conscience is clear, an' I wish I could do it ag'in, an'I got 'em up on deck, too.
"'How did you get 'em quiet, Jack?' axed Mr. Parbuckle, who was busyarrangin' with the measly old Turkey w'en he seed me a leadin' 'emfrom below.
"'Well, sir,' sez I, 'I jest hauled alongside the nearest one, hoveto, laid her aboard, an' s'luted her with a few light guns, an' therest stopped a-yellin' at onct.'
"'Gad, man!' said the youngster, 'you've a genius fer dealin' withwimmin.' W'ich I tuk as a compliment, altho' comin' from one with noexperience. Anyway, we got 'em aboard the _Grampus_ all right arteraw'ile, an' ranged 'em on the quarter-deck. We didn't lose a solitaryone, tho' they did beller an' bawl wuss'n Sammy Bowline at gittin'into the cutter. Mr. Parbuckle he was left in command of the prize,an' he a-protestin' bitterly; but the cap'n he sez he might send someof the prize over arter aw'ile to keep him company, but fer thepresent they must be mustered on the _Grampus_. Wall, we claimed thatthey all must be diwided up accordin'
to law, bein' a lawful prize,an' we wasn't goin' to wait fer no prize court, nuther. The cap'n,bein' only a boy, he was in fer a lark like the rest on us, so hemustered the crew an' he made a speech.
"'Men,' he sez, 'as you knows, the prize laws of the United Statesdiwides the prizes inter twenty parts. There ain't no money, but thereare one hundred an' twenty feemale wimmin in this lot w'ich we've tuk.That's six wimmin to a part. I gits three, an' I'll make my ch'icenow. Ladies, yer most obejient,' he sez, grinnin' at 'em, an' thema-grinnin' back, becus, like me, he was young an' well favored themdays, an' the feemales was havin' great larks, too. Then he stepsforrard and picks out eighteen of the youngest and purtiest. Among 'emwas the one I endeavored to impress myself on the ketch, an' as shepassed me she made languishin' eyes at me; but she had to go with therest, me bein' only a bo's'n's mate. So the cap'n he ranged hiseighteen aft on deck, then the leftenants tuk their turn, an' thecap'n he chose fer Mr. Parbuckle, w'ich he was on the prize an'couldn't choose hisself, an' a mad young officer he was, too, seein'plain wot was a-goin' on an' him not there. Wall, arter the cap'n, theleftenants, an' the chief petty officers tuk their share, blast myeyes if there wa'n't left an assortment of the ugliest old wrecks youever seed--forty-two of 'em--for the crew, an' them jest beginnin' tounderstand the game, too," said Jack, laughing, "fer they showed thegreatest willin'ness to be tuk. An' sum of 'em must ha' been oldenough fer grandmothers, too.
"The cap'n he chose fer Mr. Parbuckle, ... an' a madyoung officer he was, too!"]
"We carried about eighty of a crew, w'ich meant there wa'n't enough togo round. There was an awful lot of protestin' from the crew on the_Grampus_ over this yere diwidin' business. They said it wa'n't nofair. But the cap'n, he sez, it was accordin' to law, an' we was luckyto get what was there, an' to hurry an' pick 'em out. So we turned to,an' then sech a screamin' you never seed! Each woman had two mena-holdin' each arm an' claimin' of 'em, an' we was a-pullin' an'a-haulin' an' a-laughin' all over the decks.
"I tell ye, messmates, a shipload of feemales is the mostdisorganizin' body that kin board a ship-o'-war. Ef the old_Confederation_, the flag-ship, hadn't a-hove in sight jest then, Idon't know wot'd a-happened. We was so okerpied in this diwidin'bisness that nobody was a-watchin' out fer her. We was a-scramblin'an' a-dancin' an' a-raisin' Ned, an' the cap'n was a-protestin' an'a-tryin' to restore order, w'en the old frigate shoved alongside, an'Commodore Ringtailboom was that rageful he could hardly speak w'en hesees us all. He settled the hull thing by takin' all them feemales onboard his own ship an' then sendin' 'em to Algiers an' settin' 'emfree till the Turkeys got a hold of 'em ag'in, w'ich we never seed 'emag'in. Cap'n Rattlin he got transferred to the frigate to onct ferpunishment, an' we was scattered among the fleet, cos they said'twarn't safe to leave sech a crowd together no more.
"Shipmates, we was only jokin' about diwidin' of 'em, but arter thecommodore crossed our course we was the maddest lot of officers an'men you ever seed, but that was all there was to it. You can be surethat nobody never got athwart the hawse of Commodore Ringtailboomdeliberate; he was a peppery old gent, sure, an' 'twas as much as aman's life was worth to go agin him.
"Now, that's an example of how disorganizin' wimmin 'ud be on board aship."
"Jack," said little Futtocks, amid the laughter with which thisamazing story was greeted, "do you mean to tell me that this is a trueyarn?"
"Hev I brung you up, Master Futtocks, to doubt me?" asked the old man,his twinkling eyes belying the resentment in his voice.
"I am not doubting you, Jack. I'm just asking you a question."
"Wall, wall, I'll tell ye wot to do. The next time you see CommodoreRattlin you jest ask him wot was done with them feemale slaves wecaptured in the _Stamico_ w'en we was together in the old _Grampus_ inthe Med't'ranean in 1803."
"But, Jack----"
"Eight bells, sir," said the old man, rising as the four coupletsproclaimed the hour. "All the starboard watch!" he cried, shrillinghis pipe as a sign that the play-time was over.