Chapter 32
The minute they were back on Nemesis, Mirana told Ned to wait in his quarters and started to walk away. She was invisible before she had taken two steps.
“Stop.” Ned spoke it as a command, and although he had no authority over her, Mirana stopped and reappeared. Her armored back was still toward him. A little worried about what she might do, Ned tried to keep the confidence in his voice. “We need to talk. Now.”
Mirana spoke without turning. “There’s still a battle going on,” her distorted voice declared. Then after a moment’s hesitation, she added. “Come with me.”
Ned felt his control over the situation slipping away as he followed Mirana to the pricom. They were aboard her ship now, and surely she would regain more of her strength as time passed. But he could not simply kill her now, after she had helped him. And something told him that he was on the brink of understanding all of this.
They reached the pricom, and Mirana took her seat in the command chair. Ned stopped at a weapons station. He was not really trained in its use, but it seemed like the least useless place for him. He had to wonder what Mirana’s agenda was at the moment. He wanted to keep his anxiety concealed, but he could not just wait for Mirana to act this time. Instead, trying to minimize the bitterness in his voice, he asked, “Which side are you going to help?”
The dark helmet looked back at him once – probably a scowl. “I am going to make sure Gerran is safe, and then we are leaving.” Mirana offered nothing more, and for the moment that was enough for Ned. Mirana sped through the Anacronian fleet, and soon Ned could see Galactron ahead on the battle readout. “They’re surrounded,” he realized to himself. With grim precision, Mirana cut through more ships than Ned could count, leaving nothing but wreckage in her wake. The Anacron forces stood no chance against the invisible weapons of Nemesis. It seemed that the battle was still in progress when Mirana apparently decided she was done and pulled away from the fight. Seeing that Galactron was no longer under attack, Ned let out an audible sigh. Abruptly, Mirana jumped up from her seat, disengaged her armor, and advanced on Ned.
“Are you feeling relieved?” she asked accusingly.
“Galactron is…”
“I just killed five hundred soldiers in the army I swore to protect!” Mirana interjected. Her tight-lipped face was barely suppressing a yell. You heroes always come to rescue people, but you don’t seem to care how many people die in the process. Don’t follow me.”
And with that, Mirana vanished and left the pricom.
Ned sat in his room aboard Nemesis and wondered. He had started this journey wondering, and he had been wondering at every point along the way, so he supposed that he should not be surprised that now, at the end, he had more questions than ever.
A part of him wanted to ignore the questions and just feel relief that Dark Viper was defeated and that StarBlazer had been given at least the chance at escape. But Mirana was right in pointing out that a lot of people had died in the process, and understanding why was no longer a matter of mere curiosity. It felt more like a duty.
On the other hand, it had been a bit hypocritical of Mirana to accuse Ned of not caring about the deaths along the way, considering the number of deaths that she herself had caused. And no matter how long or hard he tried, he could not think of a motive that would make any sense. Mirana had been close to Gerran Marnax before the war had started, and she had rescued him and Ned at the end. What could have happened in-between that would make her help Dark Viper? A part of him wanted to believe there was some justification behind it. But he could think of none.
It had been a full day, and Ned had eaten a meal and grown tired without any contact from Mirana. Somehow going after her seemed very unwise, and Ned chose to trust that feeling. Instead, he ended up falling asleep.
The sleep lasted for several comfortable hours, but when he woke he was still unsatisfied with life, and now sleeping was no longer an option. He showered, then went to the kitchen and made himself some breakfast. Then he returned to his room, sat down on his bed, and wondered.
He was not sure whether to be relieved or worried when Mirana finally called at the door and entered his room. She was wearing her normal clothing again, and her face was once again the cold, hard, icy mask that it had been the first time Ned had seen her. Almost. When Ned looked at Mirana’s eyes, he could see that something very significant had changed. He rose to greet her as she entered the room.
“Mirana …”
“Sit down, Ned,” she said. Her voice was not harsh this time; it was weary. “I need to talk to you.”
Ned took a seat and forced himself to be quiet. Mirana pulled a chair up in front of Ned and sat down as well. Her eyes stayed focused on the floor.
“It started a long time ago,” she began. “I don’t know how long. My father learned about the Shadow Plasma from his father, but he never told me how he got it. ‘I’ll tell you when you’re older,’ he would say, but he never got the chance. It wasn’t called Shadow Plasma then; my father just made up that name when Trelan Thendrak revealed his discovery of the Plasma force. I’m not even sure whether it’s the same thing. It doesn’t matter. When I was very young my father taught me how to disappear. The power was just a toy to me then, a way of playing jokes on people and getting into places I wasn’t supposed to.”
Mirana paused, as if wondering how to piece together everything she wanted to say.
“Some time before I can remember, my family was on a space station that was attacked by a group of pirates. My father and I were surrounded in an area that was being flooded with toxic gas. Trelan was the station administrator then, and he led a small group of security officers on a rescue mission. He saved our lives – even before he was a Plasma Master. But my mother hadn’t been with us, and it turned out that she had been shot and killed in the initial pirate attack. I don’t have a lot of details; my father said he erased all records that might have linked him to Trelan. But when he taught me about the Shadow Plasma, he told me that there would be forces that would try to destroy Trelan Thendrak, and that it was our duty to protect him from them. He told me that we owed him a debt. He also told me that Trelan was never to know this. It’s cryptic, I know. But he was very serious. I promised to honor that debt.
“A short time later my father died, and I was raised by Gerran and Rinel. I came to love them, although I was a bit hesitant to open up to them. I was practically still a child – I didn’t want to feel like I was betraying my parents by replacing them. And then came the mess with the rebellion. Koral escaped with the Shield Crystal…” Mirana glanced up at Ned with an accusatory look, as if in response to something he was about to say. “Koral stole it,” Mirana said. “The war could have been over in a few weeks, but Trelan had to search for a new plan. Millions of people died as a result.” Ned’s stomach turned at the suggestion that Koral had been responsible for those deaths; Koral had believed that giving Trelan the full power of the Plasma would have been even worse. But Ned kept silent, wanting to hear the rest.
“And then Gerran left,” Mirana continued, her eyes once again to the floor. “I couldn’t believe he was abandoning the Empire when it was so clear that it was in danger and needed his leadership. The Aliens had retreated, but there was no telling when they would return. And a lot of the Empire’s best leaders, businesses, and even military forces left with him. I know you think they were fleeing an evil leader, but really, if part of your country back home were to decide to just leave because it didn’t like your leaders, would your government just let them go? Trelan had to bring them back.”
“Dark Viper,” Ned corrected, unable to continue listening to what sounded like such a twisted version of history.
“Darkness does not necessarily represent evil,” Mirana said. “Darkness can keep things safe. It can provide contrast to light and make it easier to see things that might otherwise get lost in the glare. Trelan needed a title that would convey power, one that would intimidate his enem
ies. And yes, in the end I think he took it too far. But again, just because an empire is led by someone who isn’t perfect, that doesn’t mean you can just abandon it. You stay and fix it.”
Ned was silent, so Mirana continued her story. “I thought Gerran was wrong to leave, but I didn’t want to hurt him, either. On the other hand, I couldn’t just sit still and do nothing. Not with the skills I had learned. So I picked my battles. I gathered information that I thought would help Trelan end the war quickly, and I went on specific missions for Gerran. I tried to live two lives at once so that I wouldn’t feel like I was betraying either one. But then you came along. All of a sudden a final conflict seemed eminent. The thing is, that was what seemed best for both sides. The longer the war went on, the more people would die. And you wanted to face Dark Viper. So I arranged it.”
“But not before trying to kill me yourself,” Ned noted.
“Yes,” Mirana said, not even attempting an excuse. “My loyalty was still to the Empire, and I couldn’t just lead an enemy to his door. But…” she glanced upward, looking for words. “I hoped I’d lose. Talking to you had made me realize that the war wasn’t just about picking sides based on political issues. I started to feel that it was okay to side with the people you cared about. And all of them were with StarBlazer. During that battle, I found myself afraid – afraid that I would kill you, afraid of what Dark Viper would do after he won. But I have become very good at not letting my feelings distract me during battle. I honestly did try to kill you. I can’t expect you to overlook that. A part of me felt relieved when you defeated me and then went off on your own. I was too weak to keep fighting, but I followed you. I guess a part of me wanted to see you end the conflict and put a stop to my need to live two lives.
“But everything fell apart when you fought Dark Viper. He broke down everything you could throw at him, and I saw that I had put you in a position where you didn’t have a chance. I finally came face-to-face with the consequences of the life I had chosen for myself for so many years, and I hated what I had become. I had to do something, but my mind was tearing itself apart trying to piece together all the logic and reason I had previously been using to justify my actions. Finally I just gave up on it all. I had already betrayed both Gerran and StarBlazer and you, and in my heart I had long since betrayed Anacron as well. In that instant all my rationalizing seemed like a joke; it had all come to nothing.
“Then I remembered something I had said to you once. I told you that sometimes you have to stop thinking about what feels right and think. I realized that that was what had been driving me ever since I had met Gerran Marnax. I had built up a wall of carefully-constructed logic that allowed me to believe that bringing the war to a quick close was what was best for everyone else, but I had ignored the fact that it had felt wrong. And as soon as I let myself see that, the reason became perfectly clear. I was afraid that if I turned on Trelan now, after having helped him so much before, that I’d be admitting that I had been wrong all along. So I tried to use you to end the conflict for me. Deep down, I wanted you to win, so I could admit defeat and continue ignoring my choice.
But when I saw Dark Viper holding you there by the throat, I saw that my hope of you getting rid of Viper and freeing me of my promise was gone. Not only that, but the StarBlazer fleet was about to be destroyed as well. I never intended for them to be trapped there; I told Dark Viper that Nembis Four was a decoy, but I didn’t tell him that the StarBlazer fleet was coming here. I just mentioned you. He must have figured the rest out for himself.
“I tried to think of ways to patch up my plan and make things work, but I couldn’t think of anything. That wall I had built up came tumbling down so fast I was afraid it was going to crush me. Finally I just discarded all of my self-justifications and did what I should have done long ago. I gathered the Shadow Plasma around me and struck Dark Viper down.”
Mirana lowered her face into her hands. “Now I have betrayed my father as well. I feel like there’s nothing left of me but the black fire that burns inside me. There’s nowhere I can go anymore, no one who can trust me. I guess it’s time for the Shadow Master to disappear one final time.”
She looked up, and her gaze was once again cold. “I had to tell you, though. I had to tell someone. I can never tell Gerran this; I can never even talk to him again. But I knew you would want to know, that you would listen. I know you’d probably like to resume that battle with me, but I think you’ll see that this time I have a distinct advantage, so I suggest you just stay here until I drop you off on Anacron – the war is over, and Gerran is heading there to finalize the treaty. Then you can do whatever you want and you’ll never see me again, just like I told you. Goodbye.” She quickly rose from her chair and turned to leave.
“Mirana, wait.”
She stopped but did not turn around. “What?”
“Mirana, sit down, please. I need a moment to think.”
“What is there to think about, Ned?”
“Mirana, please.”
Finally she turned and looked at Ned. She was puzzled to find that there was neither anger nor hatred mirrored on Ned’s face, so she sat down again. “What is it?”
Ned did not know what to say. His emotions were all in contradiction. The obvious thing to feel would be unbridled indignation that Mirana had betrayed StarBlazer for all these years, but for some reason that seemed far too simple after hearing her story. Not only that, but the fact remained that Mirana was now the only person left who could ever really relate to him in terms of the Plasma force, so he wanted desperately to find a reason to justify what she had done. Still, a lot of people had died because of her choices, and Ned felt sure that he would have acted completely differently in the same situation. But how could he know? Maybe Ned was putting too much of a judgment on her. After all, when the conflict had first begun between Gerran and Trelan, the lines between good and bad had not been all that clear.
“Mirana,” Ned said finally, “I want to look past all of this. You saved my life, and you helped StarBlazer win. If you had done nothing at all, I’m not sure they could have managed it. Calling you a traitor would be too simple.” Then he ran out of words.
“But, …” Mirana continued for him.
“But I just can’t wrap my head around why you sided with Anacron. I mean, Trelan saved your life, fine. So that means you were obligated to help him wage a war? You said the StarBlazer people were wrong to leave, but even if that’s true, did they really deserve to die for it?” Mirana offered no response, so Ned continued. “And Ergana Prime. An entire planet…”
“Oh, please,” Mirana interjected. “Ned, how many civilian casualties were there at Ergana Prime?”
“I don’t know…”
“Exactly zero. They evacuated the planet before the fighting was even over. The battle hastened the end of the war.”
“They managed to evacuate it. Are you telling me that the Anacron army wouldn’t have attacked if the civilians hadn’t left?”
Mirana stood up, her breathing quickening. “I’m done,” she said as she turned away.
“Mirana, wait!”
She turned on him, and the fire was back in her eyes. “I didn’t come here to ask forgiveness. I’m not going to defend my opinions or my choices. I just wanted you to know what happened. After all you’ve done here, I thought you deserved that much.”
Ned’s voice caught in his throat. After all this, Mirana was still doing him favors. He couldn’t really hate her, could he? Then the terms “traitor” and “Shadow Master” flashed through his mind, along with the images of starships burning into vapor. She’s still responsible, came a voice in his mind. What’s to keep her from attacking again? But it was a hollow thought. Her conflict was over, and Ned knew it. He had known back on Venom when he had teleported her to safety along with himself.
“Mirana,” Ned said. “This is a lot to take in, and I’m still not sure what to think about all of it, but I am sure about one thing. I left my planet with
no enemies, and I want to go back the same way. I can’t say I agree with your choices, but I don’t want you to leave thinking I hate you. I… thank you for telling me.”
Mirana looked at him appraisingly for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll let you know when we reach Anacron,” she said, then turned and left.
Mirana was characteristically absent or silent for the rest of the trip. Ned tried to read, hoping to distract himself with facts about Anacronian history or new scientific principles, but he was so unsure about his immediate future that it was hard to find anything that seemed worth the time. He thought of home, but even with his return seeming so close, the topic was stressful. He would have to decide between sharing the knowledge and power he had gained with the world and living with the consequences of what others did with it, or he would be forced to keep silent and hide what had become the most important part of himself. In the end, his thoughts kept turning back to Mirana. But clarity in that area was slow in coming.
When at last they were in orbit around Anacron, Mirana met him in the launch bay.
Ned stood for a moment looking up at his starfighter, wondering if this was the last conversation they would ever have. How did a person say goodbye under circumstances like this? “Where will you go now?” Ned asked her, trying to sound conversational. Mirana surprised him by answering in the same tone.
“I have some business to take care of,” she said. “First of all, I need to make sure that Gerran ties things up without attacks from some dissident group. I won’t let him know I’m helping, but I can’t let things fall apart now. Maybe I’ll spend some time studying Nemesis. It would be very handy if I could replicate annihilator cannons. Maybe I could even duplicate the shadow field, but I doubt it. When I learned that Dark Viper had based one of the warp drive components on the Plasma Crystals, I decided to try fusing the Shadow Plasma with it, and somehow it worked. But I have no idea how he made the component…” And there was the matter of the Plasma again. There was really no way around it, not with them. Ned decided that maybe that was okay.
“Thank you again for teaching me about the Plasma,” he told her, offering his hand.
Mirana shook it. “You did well,” she said simply.
And then Ned was feeling emotional again, for a reason he couldn’t quite explain. He didn’t speak the word “goodbye.” He just managed a friendly smile, then turned and teleported himself into his fighter’s cockpit. Mirana walked back through the airlock and engaged the shadow field, hiding the inside of the launch bay as well as the outer hull. As Nemesis disappeared, the planet Anacron came into view below, its lush forests and clear lakes interspersed with cities large enough to see from space. Ned waited for several minutes so that Mirana would have plenty of time to open the bay doors and fly away, and then he fired up his engines and began looking for Galactron.
He found it quickly and received permission to dock in the shuttle bay, where he was told that the General was waiting for him in his office. Ned took a lift pod there and stepped inside.
As Ned entered, Gerran Marnax rose from his desk. Rinel Marnax, Smardwurst Varlon, Marvis Harvey, Ambelshack Devorion, and X were there. General Marnax had sent word to Palandora, and Jenara Trennon was visible on a viewscreen over a remote connection. Everyone present stepped forward, shaking Ned’s hand and embracing him and congratulating and thanking him all at once.
“Nedward, what’s wrong?” Smardwurst asked, seeing the look on Ned’s face.
“It’s a long story,” Ned managed. And then for the first time in a very long time, Ned was the one to do the explaining. He told them of his journey to Venom, of the time he had spent with Rinel, and of the conversations he had had with Mirana Kelar. He told of his entrance into Dark Viper’s fortress and his battle with the Shadow Master. It occurred to him that he could leave out what Mirana had told them, but he decided that it would be easier for Mirana if she did not have to tell Gerran and Rinel herself. Besides, everyone in the room deserved to know who had betrayed them. He told the whole story, leaving nothing out. It was all he could do to keep everyone silent until he had finished, but he insisted on explaining his conversations with Mirana aboard Nemesis.
“I don’t see why you’re feeling so conflicted,” Marvis Harvey declared angrily when Ned had finished. “It doesn’t matter what her excuses were. She’s a traitor. She must be captured and executed.”
“You’re right about one thing,” General Marnax said. “It doesn’t matter anymore. We’ll never see her again. If there’s one thing Mirana has always been good at, it’s staying hidden.” He and Rinel managed to hold back the tears that threatened to break free, but Ned knew that they would not be able to hold them back forever. And suddenly Ned realized just how deep his feelings about Mirana’s betrayal had been. If he were having trouble resolving his disgust at what she had done and his desire to justify her so that he could consider her a friend, how much more must Gerran and Rinel Marnax be feeling that conflict? Not only were they closer to her, but General Marnax also found himself in a position of having to decide what sort of consequence she deserved. And if he chose to respond as a government leader instead of as a father, what would that do to Rinel? Or to their children, who looked to Mirana almost as a sister?
Before he could ponder the matter for long, Jenara decided to change the subject. “So, Ned, what are you going to do now? You’d be welcome to come back with us to Palandora for a nice vacation, if you like.”
“Thank you. Thank you, everyone, for everything you’ve done for me and the galaxy. But I think it’s time for me to go home now. I’ve been away from my family for too long already. I don’t know how long the vortex that leads to Earth is going to last, but if I can I’d like to come back some day.”
“You will be missed, Shield Master,” General Marnax said.
“That title is insufficient now,” Rinel corrected. “All of the powers that Trelan Thendrak discovered have been destroyed except one, and Ned has expanded his power far beyond the capacities of the Shield Crystal. His proper title now should be Plasma Master.”
“It sounds good to me,” Smardwurst commented.
Ned smiled. “Me too. I’ll accept it under one condition.”
X put his hand on Ned’s shoulder. “I think after what you’ve done for us, we owe you whatever you want. Don’t you all agree?” They voiced agreement, although Major Harvey gave it as a simple nod. Ned had to admit that there were people who had sacrificed far more than he with no special reward, but he did not bring that up now.
Ned’s smile disappeared and he looked around the room soberly. “I want you to pardon Mirana Kelar of any crimes she may have committed against the StarBlazer Alliance or anyone else. She was an Anacronian soldier who risked her life and betrayed Dark Viper because she cared about her adopted parents.” It was strange hearing Mirana’s point of view come out of his mouth, but the look in Rinel Marnax’s eyes made him continue. “You aren’t trying to punish the crews of the Anacronian ships that surrendered. I don’t want you to pursue her either.”
“She betrayed us,” Harvey objected, barely keeping down his anger.
“I insist on this one thing. I ask nothing else, but I demand that you forgive Mirana. Maybe she doesn’t deserve forgiveness. But you have agreed that you owe me something. And I want to know that I’ve left you all in a state of peace, not in a hunt for vengeance that you know would never end, because you could never catch her anyway.”
There was silence for several moments. “All right,” Marnax said finally. “I’ll see to it that Mirana is pardoned for everything she’s done. Ned …” He reached out to shake Ned’s hand. “Thank you.” As he looked into the General’s eyes, Ned saw that Gerran was thanking him for his words here as much as for his actions on Venom.
There was another round of goodbyes, and then Ned was aboard Smardwurst’s repaired Green Scorpion and on his way back to Earth.