store—and it cost less—but right next to it stood a small chest made out of beautiful burled wood with three drawers. She had been living out of her suitcase and thought about how nice it would be to actually have drawers to put her clothing in. “How much is this?”
Her face fell when she heard it cost twice as much as the end table.
“Here,” Derrick said, handing the salesman a credit card. “I’ve got it covered.”
“I’ll pay you back, Derrick, as soon as I get paid. I promise.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled.
But she did worry about it. She gave the salesman all the cash she had on her so Derrick would only have to pay the difference. In the end, she also had to let him buy her aspirin because she had no money left.
He carried the small chest into the cottage and squeezed it in between the couch and the bedroom door. Johanna picked up her lamp from the floor and placed it on the chest.
“Turn it on,” Derrick said, “so you get the full effect.”
“I can’t,” she answered. “I don’t have any light bulbs.”
He looked around the room at the sparse furnishings. When he had picked her up for their date, she had rushed out the door without inviting him inside. “What’s in here?” He walked into the bedroom.
“Nothing.”
“And in here?” He looked in the bathroom and saw a single toothbrush sitting in a plastic cup on the edge of the sink and a roll of paper towels.
“It’s just a bathroom.”
He opened the cabinet under the sink. She had placed her cleaning supplies there, plus an extra roll of toilet tissue.
“How can you live like this?”
“Like what?”
“Without necessities.”
“I’m fine.”
“Why don’t you ask that boyfriend of yours for money?”
“I’m fine,” she repeated.
He walked out of the bedroom and straight for the kitchen. He opened the cupboard and saw a single plate, a single cup, and a box of plastic cutlery. Her one pot sat on the stove—empty. He pulled open the fridge. It held what remained of the few groceries she had purchased the first day. “You have nothing.”
“I get by.”
“Get by? I had to buy you aspirin!”
She wanted to throw the aspirin at him and tell him to get out, but she really needed the aspirin and felt indebted to him. “Derrick, my headache is getting worse. I have to ask you to leave. I’ll pay you back on Friday when I get paid.” She pushed him out the door and locked it.
She knew she had nothing, but it hurt her pride to have other people remark about it. I should have gotten the cheaper end table. I could have waited for the chest. But it was too late. She owed Derrick, and she wondered if he was going to expect interest, in return.
That week she worked extra hard and didn’t even take time for coffee breaks; after all, she couldn’t afford to buy coffee. She was so involved in her work she didn’t notice the elderly man who came out of her boss’s office.
But he noticed her. He inquired about her by name but was told he was wrong—that she was Johanna Charette, not Josefina Charo. Could the similarity in names be a coincidence? I think not. He didn’t say anything about it to her boss. He would keep her secret.
Finally! She received her first paycheck. Taxes took a bite out of what she expected, but her salary would still go a long way toward helping her become self-sufficient. Except a chunk would have to go to Derrick for the chest. She had filled it with all her possessions the day after she got it, with room to spare. Now she couldn’t imagine being without it, yet she still berated herself for buying it. I should have waited until I saved enough money. She had enough to pay Derrick, and she could buy food, but there was little left over for anything else. She had been rotating the same skirt and pants with two tops and one sweater she owned for work, but she felt cheap and frumpy and feared people would make fun of her. In fact, Amaranda had already pointed out her lack of clothes sense and threatened to take her on a shopping spree. It might have been fun, but now, the cold hard fact of budgeting, and paying bills, and being on her own, were starting to take hold.
She dared not buy any more to eat than she had the previous week, although she did splurge on a package of small foil wrapped chocolates and a container of orange juice. She eyed the coffee longingly but didn’t have a coffee pot and still couldn’t afford one if she paid Derrick back. He told her not to “worry about it.” But she did. She didn’t want to be beholden to anyone. But she needed bug spray and wished she could afford a can of paint so she could brighten up the dingy walls in her cottage. The woman who rented it said she couldn’t afford to paint it, but if Johanna wanted to, it was all right with her. She would have to hold off on paint.
She didn’t own a phone, or a car, or even a second pair of shoes. Her jacket wasn’t very warm because she had rarely ventured out from Peakie’s. And it would be so nice to have another blanket. The nights were getting colder, and the wind whistling through the ill-fitting windows chilled her to the bone. Oh, and curtains! She knew she would feel safer, and warmer, and sleep better if she could cover the windows.
After considerable deliberation, she gave Derrick half the money she owed him and told him she’d give him the rest the following week. She used the money she held onto to go on a lunch hour shopping spree with Amaranda and bought a new top, a warm coat, and a pair of boots. Amaranda insisted she buy a scarf as well, saying Johanna could use it with and without the coat to add style. They chatted while they waited on the cashier’s line. Amaranda had just started her own fashion blog and asked Johanna if she could use her as a test subject. She took pictures of Johanna’s purchases on her cell phone and explained how she could mix and match her clothing for the best effect. When they got to the register, Johanna spotted wristwatches. She had never owned one before and thought how nice it would be to check the time whenever she felt like it. She impulsively grabbed one and put it on the counter with her purchases. The cashier rang it up and announced the total. Johanna pulled out her money and realized she didn’t have enough. “I’m a little short of cash.” She pointed to the watch. “You can keep that. I can do without it.”
“No, you can’t,” said Amaranda. She handed the cashier her credit card. “I’ll pay for this.” She turned to Johanna. “You can pay me back next Friday when you get paid.”
Johanna hated racking up more debt. But I really do need a warm coat, she reasoned to herself. In the end, she capitulated. “Okay.”
She was excited about her purchases, and since Amaranda had charged the entire amount, Johanna felt like she had extra cash. She was normally pragmatic, but instead of saving the money, she used it to buy a comforter to keep her warm at night. And curtains. And a coffee pot. And a radio. And real cutlery. And a scented candle.
That evening, Derrick stopped her as she left work to walk home, laden with packages. “I came by to give you a surprise, but it looks like I’d better give you a ride home first. You have way too much to carry.” After helping her with her packages, he presented her with a new driver’s license. “We can’t have you flouting state law by carrying a license with the wrong address on it. I know your family lives at the other address, but it looks like you’re slowly setting up an apartment here for a long-term stay. I hope you don’t mind that I put the address change through without asking. I wanted to surprise you.”
“That’s so nice of you.” Johanna flung her arms around him and hugged him, then overcome with embarrassment over her sudden compulsion, pushed him away. “Sorry. I got carried away.”
“You can get carried away with me any time you like.”
“Thanks again,” she said. “I wish I could invite you to stay, but I’m … uh … having dinner with my landlady.”
Johanna leaned against the door after Derrick left and sighed. Another lie.
That Friday, Johanna cashed her paycheck and realized she had barely enough money to pay
Amaranda and Derrick and buy groceries. Not to mention, she really needed a toaster and a dress. Derrick had taken her out to dinner a second time, and she felt woefully underdressed at the restaurant he chose. A dress and high heels would be nice. In the end, she put both her friends off another week. There would be plenty of money to pay them as soon as she got settled in.
She spent more than she planned on a really nice dress, a pair of high heels, and a cute little pocketbook to go with them. She also bought a tote bag for work. Her eyes widened when she saw the bill. Once again, she pointed out items the cashier could take off the bill.
“Why do that, honey,” the cashier asked, “when I can just open a store account for you, and you’ll get ten percent off whatever you buy today?”
Johanna agreed, filled out the credit application, received a temporary card, and started to carry her packages back home. Then she realized she still had money in her wallet because she charged everything and took a taxi instead.
That afternoon, she went out again and bought paint, brushes, and a drop cloth, and found out how expensive painting could be. She originally planned to make the walls white, but when the clerk asked “what color white,” and she saw all the different variations, she didn’t choose white at all. Instead, the store mixed up a pale silvery blue that made her think of ice castles in the sky for the living room, light creamy gold for the