His eyes grew misty, and he blinked rapidly and squeezed my leg again. And when he leaned toward me and kissed the top of my head, I closed my eyes and held on to him, drawing in his scent, his warmth, telling myself if I reminded him of that enough, someday he’d believe it.
“I think that’s a perfect segue to the next part of Luc’s therapy.”
Swiping at the stupid tears threatening to spill over, I glanced toward Abigail, wondering what she meant.
She met my gaze head-on. “Natalie, for the remainder of our session, you’ll need to step outside.”
“What?” I looked toward Luc. “But I thought—”
“There are things we need to discuss regarding the Entente that you cannot be present for,” Abigail cut in. “I’m sure you are aware there are very specific rules. Just because you are a spouse does not grant you special permissions.”
My jaw clenched down hard as I looked back at her. “But those rules don’t apply to you?”
“I have special clearance from House Merrick. And, as a professional in the medical community, a very specific doctor-patient confidentiality agreement that will not be breached. I can assure you of that.”
Bullshit. I did not trust this woman one bit. She just wanted to get Luc alone for...I wasn’t sure what, but something I didn’t want to imagine.
“It’s okay, angioletto.” Luc squeezed my knee again. “I’ll be fine. She’s right. There are things I need to talk about that I can’t tell you. Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t want to put you in danger. It’s safer this way.”
I didn’t believe that. There were things he was ashamed to discuss with me. Things he thought would make him see differently.
“Are you sure? Because if you’re not—”
“I’m sure.” He lifted a hand to my cheek and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
I wanted him to kiss my lips. I wanted him to pull me in and show this bitch that he was mine and I was his and she couldn’t have him. But he didn’t. He just drew back and smiled down at me with those worried, stressed eyes that were once again like a mask, hiding things from me.
Abigail pushed to her stiletto-booted feet and crossed to the door. “This may take a while. You’re welcome to sit in the waiting room, but I’m sure you’d be more comfortable at the café downstairs. Or, if you’re in the mood for something stronger, there are several pubs in the area.” She tugged the door open, indicating it was way past time for me to leave. “Eve has your cell phone number and will call you as soon as we’re done.”
Luc rose and tugged me to my feet. With my head spinning and my stomach swirling, I looked up at him, fighting what this woman wanted me to do, needing to stay with him.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Go. We’ll be done here before you know it. Just...don’t go far.”
His words didn’t ease my anxiety any, but when he pushed me forward and let go of me, I felt myself crossing the floor as if in a daze.
I startled when the door snapped shut behind me and looked around the empty waiting room once more. The blonde was back at her desk, clicking away on her keyboard. I thought about sitting back on that couch under the window, picking up one of those magazines on the side tables and waiting, but I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I’d strain and listen for any sound coming from the door at my back, and I’d imagine all kinds of things happening on that couch, on that stupid desk that was like an altar up on that raised platform.
Before I could change my mind, I rushed for the door and didn’t draw a deep breath until I was outside the old church, standing on the street near the high, iron fence that surrounded the property, shivering in the cool October air.
With shaky fingers, I tugged my cell phone from my pocket and looked down at the screen. It was two-thirty p.m. That doctor—or whatever she was—had cleared her entire schedule to treat Luc. And she’d told me it would be hours before she was done. Hours in which I would worry and conceivably make myself crazy imagining worst-case scenarios.
I’d never last.
Shoving the phone back into my pocket, I headed for the sidewalk and went searching for a bar—any bar—to save my sanity.
I was ready to shatter my phone.
Hours had gone by with no word from Luc or that office. The light was fading outside, and it was starting to grow dark. What in the hell could they be doing up there?
“Are ye sure I cannae get ye anything else?” the waitress said at my side as she checked on me in the back table of the dimly lit pub. “Ye been nursing that ale fer hours.”
I had been. After the two shots of Macallan I’d had when I’d first arrived that had chilled me out a bit, I’d been sitting here staring into my beer, trying to hold it together.
“No. Thanks.” I glanced at my phone again. Still nothing. But they had to be done soon. It was almost five o’clock. I’d just go back up to the office and wait. Even if I had to stick my fingers in my ears as I sat there. “Just the tab, please.”
“It’s already been taken care of,” she said in her thick Scottish accent.
“It has been?” I glanced up at her for the first time, realizing she wasn’t as young as I thought. Midthirties, maybe. “By whom?”
“Dark-haired chap over at the bar. Hotter than hell, if ye ask me. Surprised he didnae come sit with ye. He was watching ye the whole time like he knew ye.”
A new set of worry gathered in my belly, and I twisted to look past her toward the bar. “Where?”
She glanced over her shoulder then looked back down at me. “He left awhile ago. I tell ye, that man nearly melted me panties. I’m a sucker fer that accent.”
Fear lurched in my throat. “What accent? Italian?”
“Ye did know him, didnae ye?”
My heart rate shot straight up, and I jerked out of the booth and rushed toward the door.
At my back, the waitress called, “Yea didnae finish yer ale!”
Shoving the door open, I burst out onto the street and wove between people heading home from work, desperate to get back to Luc. I wasn’t sure who had been in that bar, but if they’d been watching me and they were Italian, they knew we were here. They had to know Luc was up in that office talking to that woman about his House.
I turned the corner and pushed my legs into a run, spotting the old church two blocks ahead. A hand snaked out of a dark doorway and wrapped around my arm, yanking me off my feet. I yelped, but before much sound could escape my lips, another hand slapped over my mouth, and I was jerked up against a hard, warm, solid male body.
A click sounded, then the man stepped back, dragging me with him through a doorway. Horror engulfed me. I struggled, tried to scream, but he was too strong, and before I knew what was happening, I was shoved around in the darkness, pushed up against a wall, and the man who’d been at my back closed a hand around my throat and moved in at my front, pinning me in place.
I drew in a stuttering gasp and went still. He was big. Muscular. But it was so dark I couldn’t see his face. And there was something familiar about his scent. Citrus, with a hint of spice. I’d smelled it before. Not just in a magazine, but on a man’s skin. Close. Like this. In the dark. Surrounded by pulsing lights and thumping music.
“Ah, bella,” a very familiar voice said next to my ear. “It’s been a while, no? Too long if you ask me.”
Giovanni.
I froze as Luc’s brother’s slimy breath spread down my neck, causing a shudder all through my body.
He chuckled. “You still tremble when I touch you. That’s good, bella. That’s very, very good.”
He trailed his fingertip down my neck where his breath had just been, and I slammed my eyes shut and held my breath, afraid to move, afraid to speak, afraid to do anything, because I knew what he was capable of. This was the man who’d drugged me. Who’d taken me to that orgy on Long Island. Who’d planned to rape me and possibly turn me into a sex kitten he and his perverted friends could ab
use. And he was the man who’d killed my best friend, Elena. Who’d murdered her when she’d found out who and what he really was. Who’d probably killed dozens of women in the very same way when they’d dared to stand up to him.
“I forgot how soft your skin was, bella.” He was touching me like a lover, slinking lower with every pass of his hands over my skin, inching his way down to my breasts. But he was no lover. The hand wrapped around the front of my throat was a stark reminder of that. He was a monster who would use me to hurt Luc in any and every way he could. And I wouldn’t let him.
I opened my eyes and stared up at him. This close, with his breath fanning my face, I could see the whites of his eyes around his pale, soulless irises. “What do you want, Gio?”
His lips curled, flashing those stark-white teeth in the darkness. “Still as fiery as ever, I see?” His hand tightened around my throat, and he leaned in closer. “I like that in my kittens. I like to break it from them. My brother clearly hasn’t done his job with you. But I can.” His free hand pushed the collar of my sweater aside so his fingers could slip over my collarbone and down my chest to curl around my left breast. “I can break every little bit of that defiance in you. And I’ve a feeling you’ll enjoy every moment of it.”
I ground my teeth so I wouldn’t cry out as he pawed at me. So I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. My mind spun. Every instinct inside screamed for me to fight back. To lift my knee and nail him in the balls. It might make him let go for a second, but even if I could get away, it was so dark I couldn’t even see the door. And I’d heard the lock click when he’d dragged me in here. If I fought back, I knew there was no way he’d let me live.
Plus, my rational mind told me, he’d said, “I can,” not “I will.” He wasn’t here to hurt me as he wanted me to think. Just to frighten me. But if I fought back, he’d have an excuse. And he was waiting for that. For a reason to break his precious House rules. I had to stay docile. I couldn’t antagonize him. It was the only chance I had. It was my only chance to keep Luc safe.
Tears rushed to my eyes, and I fought the hysteria that threatened to drag me under. Luc would never survive if something happened to me. I knew that with absolute certainty.
“Mm.” Gio’s fingers slipped over my nipple, and he twisted hard, making me gasp. “So responsive. You’ll make a very satisfying kitten. Don’t you agree, David?”
“Oh, I absolutely agree. It’ll be fun training her.”
My eyes shot open at the voice I heard somewhere behind Gio. Another familiar voice. One I’d heard at a fashion party in Rome.
David Bonello.
A new sense of terror clawed up my chest when I remembered what Luc had told me about the man, after he’d ordered me never to go anywhere near Bonello again.
He was a friend of Giovanni’s. He was as sick and twisted as Giovanni. And they often shared the same depraved tastes and the same women.
Oh God...oh fuck... Terror seized my chest. I was wrong. These two together didn’t care about any rules. Even sacred House rules. I was about to be raped by both of them.
I shifted my back against the wall, ready to fight to the death if I had to. Then Gio suddenly released my nipple and tugged his hand from my sweater.
“My brother is healed from his wounds,” he hissed near my ear. “Your time is up. You have three days to get him back to Italy, or this will only be a sampling of what we’ll do to you. You made a deal with House Salvatici, and if you don’t fulfill your end of the deal, they’re ready to hand you over to us.”
Bonello moved up on my other side, his cloistering heat swirling in the air, sending bile straight up my throat. “I, for one, hope you fail, bella,” he whispered in my other ear. “Because I can’t wait to unleash the inner slut inside you. We all know it’s there.” He skimmed his knuckles down my cheek. “And it’ll be even more fun to let her out while your husband watches.”
Gio chuckled.
His hand released me. Both men stepped back. Then a click sounded, followed by their footsteps fading until there was nothing but darkness around me.
I gasped. My legs gave out. I dropped to the floor and bent forward, gagging in the dark. But a voice was pushing me, screaming for me to go, to run before they changed their minds and came back. I clawed my way to my feet and fumbled in the darkness until I found the door.
My hand shook as I scrambled to pull it open. Fresh air whooshed around me, followed by the familiar sounds of cars and people rushing past in a big city. The streetlights blurred in my eyes. I stumbled down the sidewalk, using the buildings to guide me. But a wretched sickness was rising inside me. Threatening to consume me. And before I could stop it, I bent forward and vomited all over the sidewalk, unable to hold it in.
I wasn’t sure how I made it back to the old church, but the second I stepped inside the café, a kind woman took one look at me and steered me toward the restroom. “In here. Oh, you look like you’ve had quite a day.”
I cleaned up as best as I could, glad there were no other women in the bathroom with me. Luckily, I’d managed not to get sick all over my clothes, which was the only blessing I could see in this whole fucked-up day. Slowly, I tugged my sweater up and pushed my bra aside. Bruises marred my skin. Fingertip marks that were already darkening.
Bile threatened again, but I fought it back. Dropping my sweater back down, I glanced at my reflection and knew that even if I could somehow hide those bruises from Luc, he was going to take one look at my pale skin and deer-in-the-headlights eyes and know something had happened.
I forced myself to breath slowly, in and out. Closed my eyes. When my fingers shook against the sink, I grabbed the ceramic object and squeezed until pain shot up my arms.
I could handle this. I was okay. Bruises were nothing. I’d dealt with everything else they’d done to us by sheer strength of will. I just had to keep doing what I’d been doing. I had to stay strong.
Hysteria threatened again, but somehow I beat it back. I couldn’t spend all day in the bathroom.
After splashing water on my face, I fixed my hair as best I could. Then I shuffled toward the bathroom door. When I stepped out, I was surprised to see Eve, the receptionist from upstairs, waiting for me with a mug in her hand.
“You look a little better, but not a whole lot.” She reached for my arm and gently steered me toward a table in the corner of the café. “Sit.” She set the mug in front of me, then took the other seat. “And drink that.”
I lifted the cup to my lips and sipped, then coughed. “It’s whisky.”
“Drink it all. It’ll help.”
Her voice was kind, not chastising, and I did as she said, not because I particularly liked the taste, but because I knew the alcohol would help me relax. And I needed to find some way to stop shaking before I saw Luc.
“Boy, you are a mess,” she said in a soft voice as I lowered the mug to the table. “Don’t worry, though, I’ve got cosmetics upstairs. We’ll get you fixed up before you have to see him.”
I wasn’t sure why she was being so nice to me. Or what she was doing here. “How...? Are they done?”
“Almost. I called your cell, but you didn’t answer. So I came down looking for you. Glad I caught you before you went up.”
This was all too surreal. Too much. I braced my head in my hand. “Y-you don’t seem surprised by this. By me.”
“I’m not. In this job, I’ve seen my fair share of stressed spouses and family members. You’re a little more anxious than most, but it’s understandable, all things considered.”
I had no idea what that meant, and I didn’t want to give away anything more than she already knew—whatever that might be.
“Don’t worry.” Her hand closed over mine against the mug. “Abigail is very good at what she does.”
I closed my eyes, fighting back another wave of sickness because I didn’t even want to think about what Abigail “did.” Or was doing upstairs with my husband.
“It’s all very innocent, I promise
,” Eve said with a smile in her voice, as if she’d read my mind. “They’re just talking. Abigail has a way of getting to the root of what’s really bothering a person. And she’s been dealing with Entente families for a long time. Things will be better after this, trust me.”
I wanted to believe her, but I’d learned not to believe anyone in this world. “Are you sure?” I glanced up at her. “They’re just talking?”
“Absolutely. Abigail and Felicity Merrick have been friends for years. Felicity called a few days ago and said you or your husband might be making an appointment. Then she threatened Abigail within an inch of her life if she did anything to mess up your relationship. To be honest, I think Abby was a little afraid to meet you.”
Some part of me was thrilled by that news—although mutedly so.
I drew in a shaky breath, fighting the panic that still wanted to pull me under, trying to forget what had happened in that darkened entryway. “This is all my fault,” I whispered. “All of it. He wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.” I slid both hands into my hair and fisted the locks, pulling just hard enough to send a shot of pain across my scalp. “If I hadn’t stuck my nose where it didn’t belong, Luc would still be in New York. None of this would have happened to him. His family wouldn’t have their hooks in him, trying to drag him back like they’re doing now.”
“Listen to me.” Eve’s fingers tightened around mine. “I don’t know the specifics of what you’re talking about, but I do know this. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions. And it’s a waste of time and energy to play the I-shouldn’t-have game. You can’t go back and change the past. You can only make a conscious decision not to repeat past mistakes.”
I knew that. I did. But knowing and believing were two very different things. And I’d already made another huge mistake. I’d made a deal with the devil himself, and now I—we—were about to pay the price for that deal.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and fought back the tears that wanted to overwhelm me. I was scared Luc was going to take one look at me and know what had happened today with Gio. But I was even more terrified he was going to hate me forever when he realized what I’d agreed to.