Page 32 of Undone


  My gaze shot to the sleeping baby on her shoulder—to his dark hair and olive coloring I suddenly realized weren’t like Haych’s as I’d automatically assumed. They weren’t like Haych’s at all. They were like mine.

  “But...” My throat was so dry I had to swallow to form words. “That’s...impossible. H-how? I can’t—“

  “Apparently, you can. Felicity said that the vas deferens, or whatever it is they cut in a vasectomy, can grow back together. Even after ten or more years. It’s rare, but...it happens.”

  “Felicity?” My eyes met hers again. “She knows?”

  Natalie nodded. “She’s visited several time. She flew out when I was due and even delivered him here on the island. I made her and Marco promise not to tell you because I knew if they did, you’d try to get to us. And I...” Her soft blue eyes grew damp. “As much as I wanted that, I couldn’t put you in danger.” She glanced down at the baby. “I couldn’t put Ian in danger.”

  My head grew light. So light I sagged back against the wall. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around this. “But you... That doctor in Panama, on our way here that first time... He put that implant in your arm. I was there. I saw it happen.”

  “I asked Felicity about that too. When I told her I thought I was pregnant, she didn’t believe me either. She flew all the way out here to check me herself. And when she realized I was and took the implant out of my arm, she said it was probably injected too deep to work correctly. Apparently, there were several lawsuits in the UK about the implants failing from improper insertion a few years ago.”

  I still couldn’t believe it. She’d had a baby. She’d had my baby.

  “It shouldn’t be possible, Luc, but it was. The only explanation I have is that this baby desperately wanted to be born. He is a miracle.”

  My lungs contracted until I could barely breathe, and my vision grew blurry, making it nearly impossible to see.

  “I don’t want you to worry,” she said quickly. “I’ve taken every precaution to keep him hidden. No one knows where he really came from except for Sela, Haych, Felicity, Marco, and my mother. I stayed on the island the whole pregnancy. He was delivered here. And a few months after he was born, Felicity and Marco helped me file forged adoption papers with the US government. To anyone who was looking, I went home to the States to adopt a baby. So he’s safe from your House. No one knows he’s yours. I’ll never let anyone find out the truth. And I’m not asking for anything from you. I’m only telling you now because you’re here, and I can’t lie to you about it, and—“

  “Tu sei un dono del cielo.” I captured her in a fierce hug, careful near the sleeping baby. “Ti amo, angioletto.” I pressed my lips against her temple and closed my eyes as I held her tight. “Senza di te non sono niente.”

  She turned her face into my throat. And in a muffled voice I heard her whisper, “You’re not upset?”

  I drew back and looked down at her “Why would you ever think I’d be upset by this?”

  She blinked damp lashes at me. “Because you told me in Scotland that you didn’t want children.”

  “Ah, Dio.” I lifted my hand to her face and turned her lips up to mine so I could kiss her. Once. Twice. “You know I’m a stronzo who’s wrong most the time.”

  She laughed, and I swiped a tear from her cheek that spilled over her lashes. “Oh, Luc... The whole time you and Haych were gone, I was terrified of how you’d react.”

  I kissed her again and pressed my forehead to hers. “You had nothing to be afraid of, angioletto. I just...I can’t believe you did this all on your own.”

  “He made it easy. He’s a good baby, Luc.”

  As if he’d heard us talking about him, Ian yawned, and she shifted him against her shoulder.

  My pulse raced as I looked down at him, still unable to believe he was real. That he was mine. “Can I... Can I hold him?”

  “Of course.” She twisted her hands around his little body and carefully shifted him to my shoulder.

  He felt tiny in my hands, and my heart thumped hard against my ribs as his warmth seeped into my chest. My fingers shook, I was so afraid I’d drop him or hurt him. Lifting him higher so he could lay his head over my shoulder as he’d done with Natalie, I watched in utter amazement as his little mouth opened, and he yawned again as he settled against me. For just a split second, he opened his eyes and looked up at me, and I saw that his were a deep brilliant blue, just like his mother’s.

  I’d only fallen in love once. And I’d fought it every step of the way because I hadn’t thought I’d deserved that love. It had taken me a long time to not only understand what I felt for Natalie, but to accept that I could be loved in return. But as I looked down at this tiny little angel she’d created—that we’d created—I didn’t question what I felt. I didn’t fight it. And I finally understood what it meant to fall in love at first sight and to love unconditionally.

  “Are you all right?” Natalie asked softly beside me, one hand gently rubbing my back and the other on our baby.

  “Yeah.” I blinked back tears. Happy tears I didn’t even try to stop from sliding down my cheeks. “I’m better than all right. I’m home.”

  “Hey.” Natalie’s soft voice brought my head around where I sat on the footstool I’d dragged to the side of Ian’s crib set up in the sitting area of my room—correction, our room. “What are you doing?”

  “Watching him sleep.”

  She climbed onto the ottoman behind me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and perched her chin on my shoulder. “You have to be tired.”

  I was. Deliciously so. After we’d put Ian down, I’d dragged Natalie into the shower and washed every trace of Giovanni from both of us. Then I’d loved each inch of her body the way I should have been loving her these last eighteen months.

  “I just can’t stop looking at him.” I closed my hand over hers at my waist, pulling her closer, loving her heat and that grapefruit and honey scent of her skin I’d missed so much. “He’s so...perfect.”

  She laughed softly in my ear. “You would not be saying that if you heard one of his high pitched shrieks. The kid has lungs.”

  I smiled. “He clearly gets that trait from his mother.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “You’re the screamer, not me.”

  She pressed her fingers into my ribs, making me wiggle away from her.

  “Careful,” I whispered. “You’re gonna wake him.”

  She sank her teeth into my ear then climbed around me until she was sitting on my lap with both legs stretched out on one side so we could both watch him.

  I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as she rested her head on my shoulder.

  “I was right, wasn’t I?” she asked quietly. “This changes everything.”

  My heart squeezed tight, and I turned my lips against her temple. “Yeah, it does.” My eyes slid closed. “I can’t take you back with me now.”

  “I know.” She held me tighter.

  We sat in silence for several minutes, both of us thinking about the danger Ian could be in if anyone from my House found out about him. Here, where no one paid attention to him, he was safe. If we took him to Italy, they’d never buy the adoption story.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to let you go again,” she whispered.

  “I’ve been thinking about that all night. I have to go back, but, there’s a chance maybe it won’t be forever.”

  “What do you mean?” She lifted her head and looked at me.

  I didn’t want to get her hopes up, but I wouldn’t leave her in the dark again. “If I can find Dante, if I can talk him into it, there’s a possibility I could abdicate rule to him.”

  “How?” Excitement lit her eyes. “Is that really an option? Would they let you just walk away?”

  “It’s a long shot. I won’t lie to you. I don’t know if I can find Dante or even what state of mind he’s in right now. But... I told you before that bloodlines are important to them. If I can’t produc
e children, they’ll be more than happy to let me abdicate to Dante who can.”

  “But...” Her gaze drifted to Ian asleep on his belly in his crib. “You aren’t sterile like you thought.”

  “I know. I’d need to have the vasectomy repeated in secret. Before I approached Dante. I might be the Grand Duke now, but even I have to follow the rules. They won’t just take my word. They’ll want proof.”

  I watched her eyes in the dim light. Tried to gauge her reaction as she realized that would mean no more kids, ever.

  “Is there a chance they could find out? Hurt you?”

  “I don’t think so. I mean, there’s always a chance. Forced sterilization among the nobility is forbidden. But I did it before in secret, and they never knew.”

  She looked back at me. “Then do it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure. It’s not even a question. We need you, here with us. Do you think the Grande Cavaliere will agree to let Dante take your spot? And what about your House, all the changes you’re making? Won’t that all fall apart if you leave?”

  “Not if I can convince Dante to keep it going. And Marco’s a Knight now. He has say in House matters. Between the two of them and the others helping to make change, I know they can carry on without me. As for the Grande Cavaliere... I don’t want you to worry, but there’s already a plan in place for him.”

  “That does make me worry.”

  I brushed the hair back from her beautiful face. “The last eighteen months have been pure torture for me, Natalie. A thousand times worse than that beating they gave me after we were married. Every day I was away from you, I wanted to die. The only thing that kept me going was the belief that as soon as Giovanni was gone, we could be together again. I won’t last much longer without you. I need you the way I need air to breathe. I need to be here with you and Ian or I’m going to waste away into nothing. I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen. I can’t lose you again. Never ever again.”

  She wrapped her arms right around my neck and held me close, and as I buried my face in her throat, she whispered, “You won’t lose me. You’ll never lose me. I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes, okay? We’ll wait for you, Luc, I promise. You’re mine and I’m yours and we’re unbreakable.”

  I captured her lips and kissed her. And when she groaned into my mouth, I picked her up, carried her around the corner to our bed, and lost myself in her all over again.

  My world was chaos personified. My life had never been more of a mess. But she brought everything into perspective. She gave me strength. She gave me hope. She gave me a future.

  She was my queen. My protector. My savior. And as I stripped her of my T-shirt and sank deep inside her, I vowed to finally and completely be the king that she deserved.

  Epilogue

  “That’s it. What a good boy you are.” I smiled down at Ian as he balanced precariously on his chubby feet in the middle of the living room carpet and moved back a half step. “Come to Mommy, Ian.” I held my hands out, encouraging him. “You can do it, piccolino.”

  He gurgled, smiled, and clapped his hands. Then, growing very serious, he took one tiny step and tumbled to the carpet.

  I swept him up into my arms before he could cry and bounced him in my arms. “What a big boy you are! You almost did it!”

  His little brow furrowed. He looked ready to start bawling, then his lips curled into a smile, and he mumbled “Ma ma ma,” as he pushed against me and tried to get me to bounce him harder.

  I laughed and kissed him, turning for the kitchen where Sela was making dinner. One look at her standing with her hands on her low back, though, rocking from side to side, and I frowned.

  “Sela, I told you I didn’t need any help tonight.” I set Ian in the exersaucer we kept in the kitchen so he couldn’t cause trouble and moved to her side. “You need to sit down.”

  “I-I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine. You’re overdoing it.” I took her hand and tugged her toward a kitchen chair. She’d grown as big as a house in the last month, and I didn’t want her to pop right here on my kitchen floor.

  I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and brought it back to her. “Drink.”

  She frowned up at me but cracked the cap.

  “Then you’re going home to relax where Haych can wait on you.”

  “I don’t need—“

  “No arguing.” I moved to the counter and put away the items she’d just gotten out to cook for dinner. “I feel like ramen noodles tonight anyway.”

  She lowered the water bottle and all but groaned. “That does sound good.”

  Laughing, I opened the cupboard and pulled out two packs. “Then it’s settled. I’m cooking.”

  I filled a pot with water while Sela swiveled to look at Ian. He threw his head back and laughed at the silly faces she made at him. From across the room, she said, “Any news from Luc?”

  “No, none.” And I was trying not to be anxious about that.

  It has been over a month since he’d left. We hadn’t communicated once. It was too dangerous for him to contact me, and I understood why, but every day that passed without word was like another nail stabbing deep into my heart. I had no idea if he’d found Dante. I had no idea if he’d had the procedure. All I knew was that I missed him a thousand times more than I had before he’d come back. And I was going out of my mind with worry, afraid something would go wrong and I really would never see him again.

  “Do you hear that?” Sela asked.

  I stilled, but heard nothing except the water heating on the stove. “What?”

  She turned her head. “I think your phone’s buzzing in the other room.”

  “Oh shoot.” I pushed away from the counter. I’d left my phone on the coffee table when I’d been playing with Ian. I raced into the living room and picked it up. An unknown number flashed on the screen. I hit answer and quickly lifted it to my ear, but the line was already dead.

  My heart beat hard and fast as I pulled the phone away and stared at the screen, waiting for a voice mail message to pop up. Every time my phone rang, I freaked out, hoping it was Luc. I bit my lip. Prayed. But no message appeared on my screen.

  I pressed a hand to my forehead, closed my eyes, and dropped the phone to my side, telling myself I was only making the situation worse. It could be months—years. I had to be patient.

  “Natalie?” Sela called.

  I opened my eyes and drew in a steadying breath. I could do this. I could be tough again. I could do anything for Luc. “Yeah, I...I’m coming.”

  Sela was standing next to the table with a weird look on her face when I stepped back into the kitchen. One that put me immediately on edge.

  “What’s the matter?” I crossed toward her. “Is it the baby?”

  She shook her head, her eyes glistening as she held out her cell phone. “Better.”

  For a heartbeat, I couldn’t breathe. Her phone was ticking off time. Someone was on the other end of the line.

  I grasped it and pressed it to my ear, my heart thundering in my chest. “Luc?”

  He laughed in my ear, a warm, deep sound that sent shivers through my whole body. “Angioletto? You need to keep your phone on you. I called you three times before I gave up and called Sela.”

  “Oh my God.” My legs felt weak. Luckily, Sela pushed a chair under me before I fell. “Where are you? I’ve been dying without you.”

  “Ah, vita mia. I’ve been dying without you too.” He sounded exhausted. More tired than I’d ever heard him. “I wanted to surprise you but then I realized I didn’t know if you’d be at the warehouse or at home and I didn’t want to make the wrong choice.”

  “What?” My eyes flew wide. “You’re here?”

  “I’m in Tahiti. They let me go, Natalie.”

  My heart felt as if it might explode, and I covered my mouth with my hand to hold back a sob.

  “Hello? Are you still there?”

  “Yes,” I managed as tears ru
shed down my cheeks—happy tears. “I-I can’t believe it. Are you sure? Really?”

  “Very sure. I found Dante. He’s...different. And he wasn’t going to say yes. But when he heard about Ian—“

  “You told him?”

  “I had to. It was the only way I could get through to him. When he heard about Ian, he broke down. Told me he wouldn’t let them touch you and Ian the way they did Maricella and his child. He volunteered to take my place before I could even ask him.”

  My heart ached for Dante. For what they’d done to him. For what he’d lost. And in that moment, I knew I’d never be able to repay him for what he’d just done for us. “W-what about the Grande Cavaliere?”

  “Did you see the news from Italy last week?”

  My mind spun. “About the president’s heart attack?”

  “Yes.”

  It suddenly hit me, and I gasped. I’d never seen his face, but it made sense that the Grande Cavaliere was someone with great power in the country. “Oh my God.”

  “He won’t last the week,” Luc said. “He’s on life support right now. They’re keeping him alive long enough for the Knights to nominate someone new.”

  “Who will it be?”

  “I don’t know. But Marco’s on the committee. He’ll make sure it’s not someone evil.”

  I closed my eyes and sucked in a slow breath.

  “It’s over for us, Natalie. They can’t touch us anymore. Dante will make sure of it. We’re finally free.”

  I blinked back a rush of relieved tears, barely able to believe his words. “Please tell me you’re already on a boat to me right this minute.”

  “I’m about to get on the chopper. I just needed to talk to you first, to hear your voice.” He sighed. “Dio, I love you, angioletto. I love you endlessly.”

  I loved him too. So much. So much more than I ever thought I could love another person. And right now, I was bursting with so much emotion, I could barely speak. “Then... Then stop talking and get home so you can show me.”