“I can’t reach, you’re just too big. I can’t leave you like this, I just won’t. We need to find another way.”
“I will crouch down as far as the chains upon my wrists will allow, climb up on my knees, I think you should be able to reach then.”
I give him a little nod, trying not to think about the close proximity we are bound to be in, but it still makes me nervous. I don’t know this man, if I let him out of these chains he could hurt me or worse kill me. The memories of my past clearly still haunt me- something about large men… they scare the crap out of me, but in the back of my head I refuse to leave him chained up like some animal. He deserves better.
I see his legs bend, and I hear the chains holding him against the wall pull tight. I pray to whoever is listening for once in my life, don’t let me be a clutz, don’t let me fall or hurt this man. I approach him cautiously, standing right in his personal space.
“Are you sure? I would feel awful if I hurt you in anyway.”
He just looks at me dead in the eyes. His gaze… something about the way he looks at me, I can’t explain it. It was like I am his life line. I let out a heavy breath through my mouth and start to climb him like a money. I place both hands on his shoulder and then I hoist myself up on his knees. As soon as I am standing up right, I realize that yes, I can reach the chains but also my breasts are pressed right up in this man’s face most likely smothering him. Stupid boobs.
I then focus on the task. Left then right. These take a lot longer to pick than the ankles. I am unsteady, and my arms are starting to get sore and numb only after having them raised for not even five minutes. I get the first one and say, “Thank God.”. As soon as I hear the chain hit the wall, Ecbert stands, wrapping his left arm under my bum so I am held even further up in the air, coming face to face with the next lock.
“Thank you,” I say shyly.
I am so glad he can’t see my face. I am blushing like a little school girl. Once again, he doesn’t reply, I’m starting to think he just doesn’t like me and my feelings are getting hurt. Everyone likes me. Well… I think they do, sometimes Haven is a bully to me, but I know deep down she loves me… a little. We are friends no matter what she thinks. She is my best friend, the one I can turn to for anything. I just wish she’d see me like I see her.
With my boobs out of Mr. Drop Dead Gorgeous’ face, resting on his shoulders this lock comes undone in a matter of seconds. I so need a new profession, maybe I can become a thief and steal things from people. Yeah. no. That would be mean. I’ll just have to find a way to use these new skills on something else.
When the last chain hits the wall, I feel myself slammed against cold hard concrete. The wind knocked right out of me. I try to take in a deep breath but instead I am met with a pair of lips. Lips so soft I can’t resist kissing them back. It was passionate and romantic, and I wanted more. After what happened with my ex, I never wanted more. Just thinking about my ex, I push and shove at Ecbert’s chest.
I need to be away from him or I was going to have a panic attack. He got the hint as soon as I bit his lip so hard that I noticed blood coming to the surface. He leans up over me on his forearms just staring down.
“My apologies, I don’t know what has come over me. I just felt so grateful. Thank you, thank you so much…,” he says. Oh right.
“Fern. My name is Fern.”
“I need you to do something for me Fern. I need you to find Jettsoir and tell him…”
That’s all that is said before I am transported back into my own body. Ugh. Tell him what? He never got to finish. I open my eyes frustrated peering down at Jett. His eyes pop open and I don’t know how to tell him what just happened… but I must.
“Jettsoir… We need to talk,” I say, voice firm and demanding.
Chapter 15
Grow stronger from the pain. Don’t let it destroy you.
[email protected] Haven
The last day passed me by in the blink of an eye. You know, there used to be times where I felt so out of place in Sanctuary, but that compares nothing to the way that I feel here. I know that I’m not alone, though. None of us feel comfortable. We’re only here because some sort of portal opened to a place called Xeha and now these lesser demons are flying out and stirring up a shitload of trouble in the process.
I pull my coat firm against me, hoping it will help me stay a tad warmer. I still wanted to know why they decided to build this supernatural fortress in the middle of the damn cold.
I walk up to the fountain in the center of the town and look at the sculpture. It’s of a beautiful woman, one whom I wouldn’t know about. I glance around to see if I can find a plaque explaining who she is, or what she has done, like the humans do when there are sculptures based off of actual people, but I don’t see anything. It’s left blank and my imagination will just have to wonder, conjuring up a story of who this woman once was.
“You’re going to freeze out here in that.” I hear his voice grumbling from behind me and can’t help but smile. Right now, I’m glad he can’t see the grin that’s plastered across my face.
I turn, facing him—Darkness.
“The rest of my body will just have to adapt, my heart’s already this cold” I retort, smirking at him. “Anyway, it’s not like I have anything else to wear. We left in a hurry and this is all I had.”
Darkness removes his massive black coat, it goes from his shoulders all the way down to his boots, something that I would have assumed someone to wear hundreds of years prior. He walks quickly towards me, shoving my arms in the sleeves and making sure I’m wrapped up tight. I’ve never had someone do something so kind for me. “We will search my chambers for some clothing for you. I am bound to have a few items that were collected over the years, if not I will ask Mist or Trix”
“Who are they?” I ask, curious because he just said two women names. I wonder if they’re exes of his.
“Friends, two other members in the High Order”
I nod at what he says, still learning about him and this High Order.
“Come. We’re going inside.”
He grabs onto my shoulder and tugs me along with him. Nothing about Darkness asks, he just takes what he wants, and I respect that. He drags me along with him until we reach the castle, walk into the oversized foyer and back through the hallway until we reach the back and open a doorway that leads to a spiral stairwell. We go down the stairs and come to a stop at a wooden double door. He places his hand on the doorway and pushes, opening his massive room to me. Looking back, his illuminating green eyes meet my own.
I walk into his room, taking in his chambers, the dark stone floors paired with the animal rugs that are splayed out across the room, and the colossal bed that sits just in front of the fire. It was big enough to sleep ten people, at least. I wonder why he needed a bed so big….is he into orgies? I can’t help but scrunch up my face thinking about it. I know for a fact Jett isn’t into it, he’s too vanilla for that...but Darkness? Phew. He’d love it.
“Is this the part where you ask me how I’m feeling and if I had a hard day?” I ask Darkness, turning around to face him. He’s already been sweet to me already tonight, I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to keep it up.
“You must forget who it is you’re speaking to,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes at me.
“You aren’t easy to forget, I’m afraid,” I mutter, walking further into the room, looking at the old paintings that are plastered across his walls. They’re beautiful, and I know that can’t even describe them. I continue to venture further into the room, until I find one of a black horse on a mountainside, who appears to be on the snow.
“Jett painted them,” Darkness tells me, I hear his voice coming from right behind me and jump, startling forward. I don’t know how the bastard is so quiet when he walks. “That is of Gloom, he was Jett’s horse a long time ago before - “ He stops.
“Before, what?” I lift my head up to look at him, his dark eyes avoiding my own.
“Be
fore me,” he murmurs.
Darkness turns around quickly, removing his shirt and tosses it on the stone floor below us. “Get to bed. We’re going to have a long day tomorrow and you will need your energy”
“No. I’m not some slave girl you can just command, who will bend at your beck and call. I’ll go to bed when I feel like it.” I snap. I don’t know why he thinks that he has the right to bark orders at me. He doesn’t. I fucked him…once. He isn’t my keeper.
“You’re right, you’re not a slave girl. You’re a little girl, and a brat at that who refuses to listen. You may think you know what’s best for you right now, but you don’t. I don’t even think you can sense it coming, but I can smell it on you. Tomorrow everything is going to change for you. Everything”
“Are you trying to scare me right now?” I snap, marching over to him I shove his chest.
“More like prepare you. How old are you, Haven?” He grumbles out, eyes raking up and down my body.
“Twenty-four,” I reply quickly.
“When’s your birthday?” I’m taken aback by his question, because I don’t know the answer to it. I was left on the front steps of the orphanage when I was days old. They guessed my birthday, but I had no idea when it really was.
“I...don’t know.”
“It’s tomorrow, girl. I know I don’t have to tell you what happens when you turn twenty-five.” I shake my head, trying to understand where he’s getting all this information from.
“I’m confused...how the hell do you know? How is it that you can tell when I’m going to go through my awakening?”
“Did you not listen to me? I can smell it on you.” He puts his hand against my cheek, raking his claws against my skin. It hurts, yet it feels comforting at the same time. My heart is pounding a thousand miles a minute in my chest, my fear slowly swallowing me up. Fear because I don’t know what I am, and I don’t know what this is going to be like. I’ve heard stories, but none of them match to one another. Every individual’s awakening is their own, never are they the same.
“What do you mean you can fucking smell it on me?” I growl, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. There’s only one reason he can smell it. I’ve heard rumors that inner species can smell before another of their kind is going to go through their awakening. Darkness is like me.
I begin to pace the length of the room, walking quickly, and then faster until a point where I’m running. He watches me do this for what feels like seconds but is bound to be minutes before I feel his claws digging into my shoulders, commanding me to stop. “You need to relax. If you freak out it won’t help you.”
“Of course, I’m freaking the fuck out! I’m going to look ugly like you,” I cry, the tears spreading down my face. I could be a nymph, a fucking fairy like Fern, a succubus, but no, I just had to be an ugly ass shifter like Darkness.
He laughs, and I mean, he laughs. Darkness lets go of my shoulders and cocks his head back, grumble filled laughter echoing throughout the room.
“You’re an asshole,” I mumble.
“Tell me something that I don’t know,” he retorts, smirking at me.
“So...what am I?” I ask, looking up into those dark eyes of his. For once, someone has the answers that I so desperately seek. I just need them. I need to know.
All my life, I’ve never had the knowledge of who I am, or what I am...and growing up without parents fucks you over in lots of ways, like right now. Human kids would have their parents talk to them about the first time they fucked, or the birds and the bees as they call it. Paranormal parents would talk about awakenings, and what to expect. In this moment, I really wish I wasn’t a fucking orphan.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Oh...no, you’re right. I changed my mind. I think we should just let it be a surprise.” I smack him on the chest again “Of course I want to know, you giant lizard. Tell me!”
He laughs at me again, lifting me up in his arms he takes us over to the bed and sits himself down, his bare back against the headboard. Darkness sets me on his lap, my knees on both sides of him. “What do you think I am?” he asks, curiously.
“A shifter.”
He folds in his lips like he’s trying to hold himself back from laughter, but breaks through and the laugher echoes in his room yet again.
“You’re really a jackass.”
“I’m a demon, Haven. Jett and I are two entities within one body.”
“...So, I’m going to have a demon come out of me like...like you and Jett? I will have a demon with a name?”
“No, you are a demon. You were born in Xeha. That is what I can smell on you, you are from our home, yet you grew up on Earth. It is fascinating, and interesting at the same time.”
“Jett isn’t from Xeha?” Darkness shakes his head at my question.
“That is another story, for another time. I’m sure Jett will share with you when he is ready, for it is not my story to share.” I blink a few times, taking in what Darkness just said to me. He holds respect for Jett’s privacy, which is a little shocking to me. Darkness shoves his face against my neck, and I hear as he takes a deep inhale. “You smell so fucking sweet, like a piece of home that I’ve missed for many years.”
“Will you listen to me now and go to sleep? I don’t mean to scare you, I am simply telling you that you will need your energy and it is best to conserve as much as you can.” He brings his face from my neck and looks at me, eyes searching my own for some sort of answer.
I can’t help but speculate one thing…
“I won’t leave you when it happens.”
I nod at his statement, not showing him any emotion. Truthfully, I don’t know how I feel about it. I just know I’m not going to argue with him.
The last thing I want to be is alone. I’ve been alone for most of my life, and for once...it might be nice to have some support.
Chapter 16
Oh, my darling, it’s true. Beautiful things have dents and scratches too.
[email protected] Haven
I don’t know how I dozed off, not with how nervous I’ve been since Darkness spoke to me earlier in the night, but yet here I am, snug against him with a killer migraine. His arm is wrapped around me, claws digging into my skin as I try to give myself a little bit of distance. I mean it, my head is pounding, in a way I’ve never felt before.
I dig my nails into his skin, still not understanding how he can turn into that grotesque thing and then is also able to keep Jett’s normal, human skin. I burrow my nails in his flesh and he doesn’t move in the slightest. I just need a little space, just some air so my head will feel better.
“Darkness! Wake up.” I smack him, the pounding in my head growing greater with every moment. Fuck, it feels like my head is being ripped open. “Darkness!” I scream, which jolts him awake. He instantly releases me, sitting up on the bed and brings me up with him, staring at me like I’ve suddenly grown three heads.
I bring my hands to my forehead, covering my eyes, trying to somehow shield the pain that is running through my body. “It hurts, so fucking bad,” I whine, praying for this pain to stop.
I can’t fully comprehend the feelings that overtake my body. Pain is radiating, starting at my head and flowing through every vein until it reaches the bottom of my feet. I’m freezing yet feel as if my body is being lit aflame. My eyes burn, and I keep blinking them rapidly.
“Oh my, god,” I murmur, biting my lip, holding onto him.
I don’t want to let go. I can’t. I am so terrified in this moment, so scared for what is happening to me, to what I don’t understand. This fear is killing me. I am more afraid now than I ever was with Father as a child. At least I knew what to expect then, whereas now I don’t know a damn thing.
“You just need to remember to keep breathing. The pain will pass with time. I promise. You are strong, and you will make it through this.”
Fuck me sideways, I mean, good on him for wanting to be all supportive and stuff right
now, but I feel like I’m being ripped apart limb by limp. I’m not really in the mood to go all Oh, Darkness and dramatically fall into his arms.
“Fuck you,” I snap.
“I will if you keep it up. I’m just waiting for your pain to get worse, and then I plan on sinking my cock into your pussy so deep you’ll be begging me for release. You will fucking thank me for making you feel better.”
I listen to his words carefully, opening my eyes, staring at him. I can’t help but squint and bite on my bottom lip so hard that I taste blood when another burst of pain courses through my body.
This is worse, so much worse than anything Father had ever done to me. Worse than any flog, belt or paddle. Back then I had prayed for death, but right now is when I truly want to feel nothing.
“Ah!” I scream out, not able to hold myself up. I fall flat against his chest, and I cry. I cry for many reasons - not just the pain. I cry because I grew up without a family, because I grew up without knowing who or what I was, because I didn’t have the knowledge that could’ve prepared me for this day. I cry...because I am experiencing this in front of someone who I should consider a stranger, and yet cannot, because he has seen parts of me that even Fern hasn’t. I cry, because at the end of the day, I am only one thing.
Alone.
“Don’t cry.” I hear Jett’s voice, and look up to see something I haven’t experienced before. One of his eyes is dark as midnight, and the other is that capturing color that Jett has. I look down to his hands, and one is a claw where the other is normal.
“We are both here,” Darkness hisses, bringing his forehead to my own. I feel helpless as the tears fall. I feel like a weak little girl, like I will break with a snap of a finger.
“Oh my, god!” I cry again, pain rippling at the base of my back, shooting up my spine into my neck.
“I am not waiting any longer, you are suffering enough.” Darkness flips me over, placing me down on the bed gently, but with force.