Brie sighed dreamily. “He’s passionate on a level most men aren’t. He seems all intimidating and, believe me, he will challenge you. But he has a way of making you want it and…his aftercare is enlightening.”
Lea piped up. “Yeah, that’s when his guard goes down. It’s truly delicious. I’ve never met anyone like him.”
“He sounds divine,” Candy stated. “Although, I’m so not into sadists. Still, there’s something about him that makes you curious to try, isn’t there?”
“I hear what you guys are saying, but I know my limits, and he is way past mine,” Autumn stated.
Mary sighed in frustration. “Well, the Russian is still on my bucket list.”
Lea perked up, “Hey, Mary, what’s up with that Holloway guy you’re dating? I’ve heard rumors that he knew you as a kid.”
Mary’s face suddenly seemed to lose color. She immediately got to her feet and headed into the kitchen. “I’ve been a shitty hostess. Anyone want another drink?”
The girls looked at each other in concern, but Brie was the only one brave enough to acknowledge the elephant that had suddenly appeared in the room.
“Is something going on with Holloway? You know, whatever you say is safe with us.”
Mary came waltzing out of the kitchen with a rum and Coke in her hand.
“Mary…”
“Nope, Stinky Cheese,” Mary stated firmly. “This topic is not open for discussion. Next…”
A cold silence fell over them. In an attempt to lighten things up, Lea threw out another joke. “So what did the bra say to the hat?” After a pregnant pause, she answered, “You go on ahead, and I’ll pick up these two.”
The room remained silent.
“That’s number two,” Mary stated. “Too bad nobody laughed. Better luck next time, Lames.”
Lea looked at her with sympathy, which Brie could tell Mary didn’t appreciate.
To stave off any arguments, Brie asked a general question to the group. “What are you guys doing for fun these days? My fun is pretty much limited to taking care of the baby.”
Autumn perked up, pointing to her. “You said ‘baby’!”
Mary deftly grabbed Autumn and Brie’s pins. “Two for the price of one. Thanks, Autumn.”
Autumn shook her head, stunned. “I told you guys I suck at this game.”
Brie shrugged. “I haven’t caught anyone yet, so don’t feel bad.”
Mary surprised Brie when she actually responded to the question Brie had asked everyone. “I’ve started a new hobby.”
“Do tell,” Candy said. “I can’t wait to hear what it is.”
“I suppose it’s not really a hobby, but a new passion of sorts.”
Brie assumed it was something dark and dirty, but what came out of Mary’s mouth left her speechless.
“I’m volunteering at the Tatianna Center.”
“What’s that?” Autumn asked.
“It’s for girls who were victims of human trafficking. Even though I’m the one volunteering my time, it’s really those girls who are helping me. I’ve never seen such courage. They’ve inspired me to try to be a better person. I figure if they can remain positive after everything that’s happened to them, it gives me hope that I can too.”
“How did you find out about the place?” Candy asked her.
Brie held her breath. Mary was playing a dangerous game, associating herself with the Center after acting as the informant for Lilly there. If anything bad happened to Mary, it would devastate Brie.
“I saw it on the news, I think. After what my dad did to me as a kid, I felt a connection with the victims on a profound level. So, one day, out of the blue, I just decided to go to the Center, and that’s where I met Stephanie. The woman runs the place, and she is a powerhouse of positivity. Normally, I can’t stomach that crap, but Stephanie is a dynamo. And what she is doing for these girls will echo down through generations.”
Mary looked at Brie. “I think that’s part of the reason I volunteer there. It’s the one thing I can do that has the potential of bettering these girls’ lives, and the lives of their children and grandchildren. The cycle of victimization stops with them.”
Candy smiled at her. “That sounds similar to what we do.”
“Yes,” Mary agreed, nodding her head.
“That’s wonderful, Mary.” Her conviction astounded Brie. Faelan had shared with Brie that he’d seen a real change in Mary, but this went far deeper than Brie realized. She actually admired the woman now.
Mary smiled smugly, taking a sip of her drink. “I think so.”
That typical Mary smugness gave Brie an idea. “I may have too much time on my hands, but I can’t help thinking about kinky ways we could use those walkie-talkie things people put by the crib—”
“Baby monitors,” Mary instantly corrected.
Brie squealed with joy, snapping up all of Mary’s clothespins.
Mary’s look of surprise quickly returned to that smug look when she said, “Well played, Stinky Cheese. Well played.”
“I didn’t even see that one coming,” Lea laughed. “You were so sneaky, Brie! Was I right or was I right that games are totally necessary?” She stuck her tongue out playfully at Mary.
“Yes, it was slightly amusing, Lame Girl,” Mary said, taking another sip of her drink. “And you’ve got one more joke left to tell. Today appears to be your lucky day.”
Lea turned to Brie and asked, “So, I have a question for you, Brie. Why did you keep Hope’s name a secret for so long?”
“We were waiting to announce it after she was born.”
“Why?”
“Rytsar asked us not to tell him the baby’s name until he could hold her for the first time.”
There was a collective “Aww…” in the group just before Lea snagged all of Brie’s clothespins.
“What the heck?” Brie cried. It took her a moment to realize she’d used the forbidden word. “That was very sneaky, Lea.”
“Hey, I learn from the best! To make up for beating you all, here is my last joke for the day, in honor of our Russian friend’s cold motherland.”
“Give it to me.”
“If you’re cold, you should sit in a corner. Do you know why?”
Brie shook her head.
“It’s 90 degrees!”
Mary was the first to laugh.
“Isn’t it acute joke?” Lea finished.
“Oh, Lord, you’re making a math joke,” Candy laughed.
Autumn looked at them, confused. “Sorry, guys. I was never good at math and I’m the only one here who doesn’t seem to get it.
“You will,” Brie said, drawing on a napkin. She handed it over to her. “See? A corner is at a 90-degree angle.”
Autumn put her hands to her mouth, laughing. “Oh, Lea, you really do have the best jokes.”
“Don’t believe her, Lea,” Mary protested.
“Come on, you laughed, Mary. Don’t even pretend you didn’t,” Lea scolded.
“Okay, I’ll admit it was slightly better than your norm.”
“I personally loved the ‘acute’ part,” Candy said. “It was the icing on the cake.”
“Oh, oh, oh…” Autumn said. “I have one for you.”
“We’re all ears, girlfriend,” Lea told her enthusiastically.
“Wait!” Mary complained. “I said only three jokes allowed.”
Lea grinned. “Your limit was for me, not for Autumn.”
Mary looked at Autumn and sighed in defeat. “Fine, but you only get one.”
Autumn giggled, looking over at Lea. “Okay! Well, anyone who knows me knows I hate clowns. But the other day a clown held the door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.”
Her joke was met with unanimous groans, except for Lea, who clapped her hands, shouting, “Bravo, Autumn!”
“And that is why I limit jokes with you two,” Mary exclaimed.
Brie was laughing so hard it hurt, and she woke the baby, but O-M-G, it felt so good to be together ag
ain! Getting to let your hair down and just laugh was a coveted treat.
Me Too
Lea came to visit a few days later, wanting just to hang out. She was playing a mindless game on her phone while Brie put the baby down for a nap.
Shadow jumped onto the dresser beside the crib. It had become his favorite place since Hope had come home. The cat would sit there for hours watching the baby as she slept. Brie thought of him as Hope’s guardian angel. Initially, Sir had been worried about how the old tomcat would act around the baby, but it was clear he understood that she was a part of Brie.
Brie petted his head, after tucking Hope in. “You’re a good friend, Shadow.”
He brushed his cheek against her hand, a look of contentment in those yellow eyes.
As Brie headed out of the baby’s room, she thought about how lucky she was to have her best friend, Lea, back in her life after years of separation and turmoil. They were close again, as if no time had passed between them at all.
“Can you imagine if your life consisted of sleeping as much as a baby?” Brie asked Lea.
“Why do babies sleep so much?”
Brie shrugged. “Guess all that growing makes them exhausted.”
“And all that warm milk,” Lea added, staring at Brie’s boobs. “I had no clue how much those suckers eat.”
Brie clutched her breasts. “Sucker is right. My nipples are getting quite the workout these days.”
“Hey, what did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?” Lea beamed a smile. “Thanks for the mammaries.”
Brie giggled…man, she loved this girl and all her bad jokes.
Lea winked at her as she began scrolling through the newsfeed on her phone. Brie took the opportunity to sit down and close her eyes to chill for a bit. She liked the ease of their friendship. It didn’t require needless energy because they knew each other so well.
When Brie opened her eyes again, she noticed Lea staring hard at her screen. She glanced up and asked Brie, “Girlfriend, is this Darius? I didn’t realize he was hot.”
Just the sound of Darius’s name gave Brie chills down her spine. She took the phone from Lea and stared at the photo of him in shock. Seeing those familiar brown eyes literally made Brie sick to the stomach. It felt as if he was reaching through the screen to torment her again. She quickly handed the phone back to Lea, shuddering. “Yeah, that’s him.”
Lea frowned. “I’m so sorry, Brie. I was just scrolling through and found this article about some new local talent. I didn’t realize he was connected to you until I read the name. He’s the guy who bullied you as a kid, right?”
“What did he have to say in the article?”
Lea looked back at her phone, reading it over. “The article is just a brief introduction. Says he’s a model and actor, and mentions that he knew you in elementary school.”
Brie felt queasy. She hadn’t thought about Darius since the birth of Hope, but now the old fears associated with him came rushing back. “That asshole tormented me in elementary school. Why in the hell would he say anything about it now?”
“I don’t know, Brie.” Lea reached out to comfort her.
“He was so cruel, Lea,” Brie said with tears in her eyes. “I can’t tell you the number of times he beat me up after school. Hell, he was the reason my mom and I were homeless while my dad looked for a new job. They were determined to get me far from that place. It’s how we ended up in Nebraska.”
“I remember you telling me about being homeless for a while…”
Brie shuddered again. “I have tried to push every memory I have of him from my life, and I almost had. Why would he dredge it all up now?”
Lea squeezed Brie. “I don’t know, my friend. Maybe he wants to make amends?”
“I don’t believe that for a second.” Brie pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself, feeling shaky and out of control.
Seeing how upset she was, Lea asked her, “Do you want to cancel going to lunch?”
Brie took a deep breath and held her head up in defiance. “No. I’m not the scared little girl he tormented all those years ago, and that bastard is not going to ruin my life now.”
She moved through the day, having lunch with Lea and window shopping afterward just as they had planned, but those memories of Darius kept replaying in her head. It pissed her off that he had reentered her life by simply stating that he knew her.
That night, when she had a moment alone with Sir, Brie crawled into his lap. She rested her head against his strong shoulder, needing the connection. He began stroking her hair.
“What’s wrong, babygirl?”
Brie buried her face against his chest, taking in his masculine scent as he continued to hold her. She felt safe and protected. It gave her the courage to tell him, “Darius was in the news.”
Sir stiffen beneath her. “In what capacity?”
“Lea saw a short article that had a picture of him. He mentioned knowing me growing up.”
“Nothing else?”
“I guess he’s a model and actor now.” She laid her head back on his shoulder. “My memories of him won’t stop. Every time I think about him, I get all anxious inside and feel like I need to run.”
Sir held her tighter and continued to stroke her hair. “I will have someone look into it. I find it odd that he would mention knowing you.”
Brie pulled away and frowned. “I do, too. Lea thinks he wants to make amends.”
Sir pressed her head back against him. “Whatever his motives, he has no power over you now.”
Brie nodded, wanting that to be true even though her memories said differently.
“Until we know more, I don’t want you to dwell on it. Concentrate on constructive things.”
“I will try, Sir.” As soon as those words left her lips, Brie expected a correction. “Trying” was not enough in their household.
But he didn’t. Instead, Sir continued to stroke her hair in silence. She took comfort in his quiet support and was able to fall asleep later that night, in his safe embrace.
In the middle of the night, she woke up with a start, her heart pounding in her chest. She thrashed violently trying to scramble out of the bed and ran to the bathroom.
“What’s wrong, Brie?” Sir called out to her.
Brie retched in the toilet, her whole body numb with fear.
Sir got out of bed and went to reach out to her, but Brie flinched at his touch and instinctively pushed him away.
“What’s going on, Brie?” he demanded gently, cutting through the fear that surrounded her.
Brie looked up at him, her voice trembling when she answered. “I don’t know…”
He held out his arms and she moved into his embrace. She was crying but didn’t understand why.
Once Sir had her cleaned up and settled back in bed, he asked, “Were you dreaming?”
“Yes, I…I think so,” she answered hesitantly.
“What about?”
She looked at him with concern, shaking her head. “I don’t remember, but I woke up feeling like I was choking to death.”
Sir squeezed her tighter.
Brie looked at him sadly. “I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“No need to apologize,” he assured her.
Brie settled back against him and closed her eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but knowing there was no hope. The unsettling feeling of choking had released a flood of memories centering on Darius and, in the darkness of the night, she was unable to keep them at bay.
There had been one incident in particular that she had never shared with a soul—not her parents, not her friends, and not even Sir. Reliving it now, even with the passage of time, filled her with a deep sense of shame and humiliation.
That secret had held her captive and tortured her for years. It wasn’t until the Submissive Training Center and her encounter with Baron that she’d been able to move beyond it.
Darius had been the sole reason she’d been so afraid of the kind-hearted Do
m on that first day of training, and why she had to look into his eyes every time they scened together, even though Ms. Clark had punished her severely for it.
Baron’s gentle hazel eyes had been the anchor she needed when their scenes triggered old memories. Eventually, she stopped thinking about Darius when she was with the Dom, and eventually came to believe she’d overcome the trauma of the past.
However, today had sparked those memories she had kept hidden.
Darius had not only bullied her relentlessly—which her parents found out about the day he stabbed her with the needle—but just days after the incident, his actions managed to infiltrate the very core of her soul.
She had suffered in silence with the terrible secret ever since, and she knew it was the reason he still held power over her now. Her parents were not aware that their decision to move had saved her life back then.
At the tender age of twelve, Darius stole a piece of her innocence she could never get back, and it had almost destroyed her.
Getting out from under his brutal influence had allowed Brie to bury all memories of it. The small town in Nebraska proved to be what her spirit needed because nothing happened there. Bored to distraction, Brie often visited the theater house that played the classics in the afternoon. It was in that small, run-down theater that Brie discovered her love of film. She devoured the best of the best, never tiring of watching films like Dances with Wolves, Braveheart, Titanic, and Avatar. Luckily, the owner of the theater was a true lover of film and he introduced her to the classics, including Gone with the Wind—which became one of her favorites.
The small theater became her safe haven. There, she could completely lose herself in the worlds created on the big screen. What started out as a source of entertainment eventually became her inspiration.
On her fourteenth birthday, she asked for her first movie camera. Her parents, encouraged by her newfound confidence, indulged her in whatever used equipment they could find. Her father soon became a regular in the pawnshops in the surrounding towns.
To their credit, her parents never complained about her filming them on a daily basis. They put up with their privacy being invaded because every Sunday night, they would gather in the living room to watch the week’s events documented in film.