Take a Breath (Take 1).
By
Jaimie Roberts.
Chapter 1
She’s staring at him again. Why does she keep looking at him like that, I can’t stand it? I look away horrified at my thoughts. I wish they would all just go away. I crave this man, this man who has been the only man I have yearned for, that I have adored from the very first day I met him, who tries hard to avoid me at times. He has been the centre of my world for far too long and I can’t shake him no matter how hard I try, and it tears me apart at times. I know I can’t have him and I wish I could give up this obsession as there is this one problem, well one major problem. He’s getting married to my mother.
The sick part about it is that she doesn’t deserve him at all. She uses people. She meets men, gets them to fall in love with her, she gets what she’s wants from them and then leaves. It is always the same pattern and has been this way since as long as I can remember. From a child I have been pushed and pulled around to different areas, different schools and never settled down anywhere. I was ‘The accident,’ and I think my mum has been making me pay for it ever since. I hope she settles down this time, although it kills me to think that way, but I want him to be happy, even if it is with my own mother.
I stare out of the window from the breakfast island trying not to look as sick as I feel. It is a beautiful day outside and the garden and pool are glistening in the sun. The house we live in is picture perfect for a family and has a statuesque element to it. It has five bedrooms all en-suite a gym and the basement downstairs also being used as a bedroom. Jake’s bedroom is the first you come to on the landing so I have to pass his room every time I go to mine which is always torturous. Jake owns the property; it was given to him as a family home when his parents died in a tragic accident 3 years ago. He comes from a wealthy family and now he has inherited his wealth there really is no need for him to work, but he loves his job and I think he sees it as a purpose in life. He has worked hard on the house in the last three years trying to make it a little more modern. As you come through the front door you have the staircase leading up, to the left is the living room that leads into the kitchen and to the right is the dining room that also leads into the kitchen. I love the dining room as it has a bar area at the end by the kitchen door. The kitchen is huge and my favourite part of it is where I’m sitting now. My mother and I moved in about Eight months ago and I love it here.
I eat the rest of my toast and get up to gather my things.
“Are you ready Ana?”
Oh just him calling my name gives me goose bumps. “Yes Jake, I’m good to go.” He kisses my mum on the cheek and she smiles her sweet sickly smile and says goodbye.
“Should be home around nine tonight if that’s ok Stella?”
That’s late; I thought he was finished at 6pm today. The thought quickly exits my head as work is calling us and we have to get from McLean to Fairfax in twenty minutes.
“That’s fine Jake; I have things to do later anyway. Bye Ana darling, hope you have a good day.”
“Bye mum, see you later.” We get in the car, trying my best not to stare at Jake and I start thinking about how I got here.
Jake is a Captain for Fairfax County Police in charge of Major Investigations. He got me a job there about the same time we moved in. I had completed my Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice and Jake was looking for a new employee, so all of this was perfect timing for me. I am an Analyst there and love my job. Determined never to follow in my mother’s footsteps I set out to better myself and I pushed and pushed as much as I could to get a decent job and to settle down. I am only 22, but I want so much to have a normal life after so much running. Jake is mum’s toy boy as he is only 33 and she is 40. They both had children young as Jake has a son called Matthew who is only 16 and as Jake was the responsible one and the mother at the time couldn’t cope, he took Matthew under his wing and has been looking after him since he was born with the help of his rich parents of course. All this only makes me want Jake all the more. I really must stop this, it’s not healthy.
“How are you feeling today?”
Jake pulls me out of my daydream, “I’m fine thank you, I had a good sleep, you?”
“Yes, thanks but looking forward to some time off I must admit. Work has been a little hectic lately. Are you going out tonight?”
His question raises some intrigue. Why is he concerned about what I’m doing? “Well Jessie did mention drinks after work. You know what she’s like, all work and even more play.” He laughs a hearty laugh, god I love this man.
“Yes, she does like her drink doesn’t she? I may join you if you don’t mind, are there a few of you going?”
What, did I just hear him correctly; he wants to go for drinks? I look at him in awe. He has the most beautiful physique. He is 6’3” and is very fit. He likes to work out in the gym so is nicely compact. He has dark brown hair, almost black slicked back and spiked at the front with the most piercing green eyes I’ve ever seen. Why does he have to be so damn godlike? “Yes, that’s fine,” I answer. “I think a few are going.”
“I thought so, that’s why I want to come. I think Tony has his eye on you and I want to make sure he behaves himself after a few beers.”
I think my jaw just dropped to the floor, he spies me and obviously notices my reaction.
“Sorry, just doing my protective fatherly thing.”
Oh, great, can the floor of the car swallow me up right now? Father, he’s only eleven years older than me. I want to die.
We get to work and I quickly rush into the office and spy Jessie sitting at her desk with a big devilish grin on her face. I notice a nice cup of steaming hot coffee on my desk. Jessie, I love you. “Ah, thanks Jessie. So what did you do last night?” I ask her. “Or shall I say who did you do?”
“Shh,” she smirks, “You’ll give me a bad name talking like that Ana. I’m not that bad.” She sits silently for a moment whilst I get myself organised for the day ahead. “Well, he’s a Lawyer and certainly knows his way around a courtroom if you know what I mean.”
I gasp, “I knew it! You brazen hussy you. Are you seeing him again?” I’m now grinning from ear to ear for her. I like to see my friend happy.
“Yes, tomorrow night. He’s taking me to dinner,” She beams.
“Wow, Jessie, you must really like him to let him take you out to dinner. So tell me all about him, what’s his name?” She pauses a minute like she’s wondering whether to tell me or not. Eventually she speaks.
“It’s Jerry Maguire.”
I spit my coffee out and frantically grab some tissues off my desk to wipe my mouth. “Seriously Jessie, you must be kidding me surely?” I choke.
“I’m not kidding, his name is Jerry Maguire,” She sighs.
“My goodness, he must get a lot of people ribbing him at his law firm about that.” Jessie’s tapping the end of the pencil on her lips.
“I believe he does, and the worst part about it is he looks like Tom Cruise.”
I think I may have a heart attack. It’s too early in the morning for this. “I must meet him Jessie, this I got to see.” She smiles her devilish grin again with her auburn locks falling onto her perfectly rounded face.
“We’ll see, I’ll get the dinner over with first and see if he is worth a second date. Talking of which young lady, there has been very little action as far as you’re concerned. Why don’t you get yourself out there girl? I know Tony would appreciate it, actually the majority of the police station unmarried or otherwise would appreciate you putting it out a bit.”
I blush a bright red, “Jessie, you can’t say things like that, it’s not true. She sighs and rolls her eyes.
“Ana, you are either blind o
r stupid. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? It makes me vomit actually. I hate you and your British accent.”
I’m stunned at her honest confession, but she is smiling at me. I can’t believe that beautiful Jessie could possibly feel that way about me, but we are both different, she has her auburn hair and brown eyes; I have blonde hair and blue eyes. Jessie is small and petite; I’m 5’8” with curves. The British accent comes from the fact I was born and raised for a while in London until the age of 11 when my mum met and married an American Accountant, and we quickly moved to New Jersey. The thought of it all sends shivers all over my body.
“I wish I had your breasts.”
I’m quickly snapped back to the conversation, “I think they’re too big myself.” She snorts in disgust and turns her chair back to her desk.
“You’re coming out tonight aren’t you Missy?”
I turn and look at Jessie’s back; she swings her head around and looks at me expectantly. “Yes Jessie, even Jake is coming.” She swings her chair around again.
“Mr Boss man eh? That means we have to behave ourselves.”
She pouts and I smile at her. “He says he wants to keep an eye on Tony. He thinks that if he has a few he may make unwanted advances towards me.” Her posture picks up.
“Yet another man who wants you Ana and he’s shacked up with your mother of all people.”
I gasp at her comment, “Don’t be so silly Jessie. He made a comment about fatherly instincts. I nearly puked.” She looks at me and frowns for a second. What on earth is she thinking now?
“Have you thought about it?” I look confused, “Thought about what?” She’s got that grin back on her face.
“You must have, I think every female with a pulse in this station must have. He’s super fit, gorgeous, rich and has plenty of power, who wouldn’t?”
My mind racing with what she says takes in every word. “Jessie, you can’t be serious, he’s my mum’s Fiancée,” I answer in shock.
“Ana doesn’t mean you can’t think about it. Personally, if I were you I would be driving myself crazy in a room next to Mr God himself. Oh, the fantasies.” I’m mortified, but mostly at the thought that maybe she can read my mind. “Jessie, I’m going to get on with my work now and pretend you never uttered those words.” She looks up at me and her eyes narrow. She swings her chair back around and mutters, “Miss Prissy.”
I know Jessie is joking, but I feel a knot in my stomach at her comment. I haven’t been with a man for a very long time because I can’t get Jake out of my head. I have tried to go on dates and forget about him, but it’s impossible. Six months ago when I heard that Jake asked mum to marry him, I went out on a bender and ended up the next morning with a raging hangover, and next to a man I had never met before. I was mortified and have been celibate ever since. I’m not a one-night-stand kind of girl and never have been. I just wanted to forget that night and I did. Turns out the man I slept with is a very nice guy. He’s a Police Officer from Leesburg called John and a handsome one at that. He wanted to see me again and had said that he had admired me from afar for a while now, and couldn’t believe his luck when I agreed to go home with him. I told him I was sorry but I couldn’t, that I was getting over someone and I’m not ready for a relationship. He didn’t seem happy with that, but we have remained friends. Things were a little bit strange after but he calls me now and then and still asks if I’m ready. Trouble is I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Jake is like my drug and I keep hanging around like a silly addict waiting to see if I can get my fix, knowing full well I can never have it.
I pull myself from my slumber and look at the case files on my desk. At the moment there is a serial killer on the loose killing women around my age with always the same M.O. Blonde girls with blue eyes who have been strangled but never sexually interfered with. It’s been going on about six months now and we are still not closer to catching him. He’s killed seven girls that we know of so far and yet the scene is always clean. It’s just making mine and everyone else’s jobs that much harder.
“This asshole needs to be caught already. He did it again last night and not only that he exposed her.”
My head snaps up to look at Michael and Tom, the lead Detectives on the case and their eyes lock on mine. They look uncomfortable when they see me. “He’s done something different this time. Did he rape her?” Michael pulls at his collar like its ninety degrees outside. It’s a beautiful day in May but it’s not that hot yet and the air conditioning is on so it’s lovely and cool. He looks troubled.
“No, but you’re right, it is different this time, so this particular murder we need to pay close attention as to why.”
Tom elbows him and I frown. What’s wrong with those two? “Where did it happen Michael?” He looks pained and I’m getting a little annoyed now. “Reston…” his mouth shuts immediately at the sound of Jakes voice booming across the room.
“Michael in my office now please.” I look across at Jake and he’s staring at me eyes wide and intense. Is he mad at me?
“Coming sir.” Michael trots off with his tail between his legs and Tom looks on at me.
“Tom back to work,” Jake shouts.
I look and have a thousand eyes staring at me. What’s wrong with everyone today?
“Someone must have their period.” I look across at Jessie and she winks at me. “He obviously didn’t get any from your mother last night.”
I cringe at her words. “Shut up Jessie,” I shout as I throw a paper-clip at her. “I don’t want to hear about my mum getting it on with anyone,” least of all Jake.
I get back to work and get through a lot of mind numbing data. I don’t want to think about Jake anymore so I push on searching through burglary arrests from six months going back. I get to around two years when I decide I need to get something to eat. I nip out to get myself a salad for lunch and get back to go through the same case which involves two men in ski masks picking on the elderly, tying them up whilst they rob their homes. Thankfully they do not harm them in anyway; they just probably think that because of their age they must have valuable items. I also look at where they have hit all areas and dates and times trying to see if there is a pattern and where they might strike next. I’m so engrossed in my work that before I know it, it’s after 5pm.
“Are you ready now Miss Thang? We have ourselves some drinking to do and maybe you can have a bit of, what is it you Brits like to call it, Shagging?” I’m stunned but can’t help but laugh. It’s the way she says shagging, has me in stitches. Tony at that moment decides to grace us with his presence and looks at me and smiles.
“Speak of the devil,” Jessie says flatly. I almost choke.
“You ladies talking about me, I’m flattered. I hope they were all nice things?”
I quickly gather up my bag to get ready to go.
“About you, always.”
Jessie is such an outrageous flirt, she’s incorrigible. Tony gives me a wink and I smile at him, he obviously looks pleased with himself.
Jessie sees this little interaction and without making herself obvious whatsoever states, “I’m off to the ladies, Tony, why don’t you escort Ana to the bar and I will meet you two there?”
I roll my eyes at her but Tony quickly straightens himself upright and with a smile looks at me and says, “I’ll be happy to.”
I want to hit Jessie so much right now, the conniving little minx. Tony is lovely and all but relentless. He has been pursuing me for months now and I keep trying to push him away. It’s not that he’s not good looking or a nice guy as he is in some ways. He has wavy mousy hair and brown eyes, looks a little like John Travolta with a dimple on his chin. He is lovely and very polite and always treats me like a lady but there is no spark for me and I think you always need to have spark.
“You look exceptionally beautiful today Miss Sinclair. That is a lovely dress you’re wearing.”
I stare at him and about to answer when a delicious voice appears from nowhere. r />
“Accosting my staff again Mr Andrews?”
I look and see Jake staring at us, relief evident on my face.
“No Mr Bennett, I mean Sir; I was just paying Ana here a compliment. Don’t you think she looks nice today, as always?”
I look over to Jake and see his piercing green eyes boring into me. I think my legs wobbled slightly.
“Whoa, steady girl, we’d not even gone to the bar yet and you’re all over the place.” Tony steadies me and Jake stares at Tony’s arm around my waist. He looks pissed.
“Don’t worry my dear, Tony will look after you.”
Jake glares at Tony, “Did you get that report done I asked you about?”
Tony looks bewildered for a second but then seems to remember, “It’s on my desk sir.”
“Well it’s no good on your desk can you please go and get it and put it in my Inbox for me for tomorrow? I’ll take Ana and meet you there.” Tony is obviously affronted but nods his agreement and heads off. I look over to Jake.
“Are you ok?” he asks.
“I’m fine, thank you. Tony gets a bit excitable at times.”
Jakes smiles, “I know, that’s why I thought I would come over and see if you needed rescuing. If he is bothering you let me know and I’ll have a word with him ok?”
“It is fine, really. Tony’s harmless.” I find myself staring at him for a while, completely transfixed to this hunk of a male.
“Right, well then, are you ready?” Jake clears the way to let me pass allowing me to snap out of my daydream again and we leave the office ready to hit the bar.
Chapter 2
We make our way into Harley’s bar and familiar sights and smells are there. The usual Harley Davidson bike is in the bar window in all its glory. The bar itself is not a bikers bar, it is just the owner is called Sam Harley and thought the Harley bike theme was suitable. I think it looks cool. I sit on the bar stool and see other familiar faces already drinking from the offices.