CHAPTER X
The scene at the ballet was most brilliant, as it is always on a Sundaynight. The great auditorium, with its blue silk-curtained boxes, themass of glittering uniforms, and the ladies in evening-dress, althoughthey were all in black, made a gay spectacle almost like a gala night.Then it is so delightful to have one's eyes pleased with what is on thestage and yet be able to talk.
But Tamara, as she sat and looked at it, was not enjoying herself. Shewas overcome with a vague feeling of unrest. She hated having to admitthat the Prince was the cause of it. She could not look ahead; she wasfull of fear. She knew now that when he was near her she experiencedcertain emotion, that he absorbed far too much of her thoughts. He didnot really care for her probably, and if he did, how could one hope tobe happy with such a wild, fierce man? No, she must control herself;she must conquer his influence over her, and if she could not she couldat least go away. England seemed very uninteresting and calm--and safe!
Filled with these sage resolutions she tried to fix her eyes on thestage, but unconsciously they continually strayed to a tall blue figurewhich was seated in the front row of the stalls with a number ofofficers of the Chevaliers Gardes. And when the curtain went down,--andinstead of the Prince joining them in the box, as she fully expected hewould do, he calmly leaned against the orchestra division and surveyedthe house with his glasses--she felt a sudden pang, and talked as bestshe might to the many friends who thronged to pay the Princess court.
Gritzko did not even glance their way! he stood laughing with hiscomrades, and it would have been impossible to imagine anything moreinsouciant and attractive and provoking than the creature looked.
"No wonder Tatiane Shebanoff is in love with him--or thatactress--or--the rest!" Tamara thought.
And then a wave of rage swept over her. She at least would not give inand join this throng! To be his plaything. _She would_ be mistress ofherself and her thoughts!
But alas! all these emotions not unmixed with pique, spoilt theballet's second act!
For the interval after it, the two ladies got up and went into thelittle ante-chamber beyond the box. Tamara was glad. There she couldnot see what this annoying Prince would do.
What he did do was to open the door in a few minutes and saunter in. Hegreeted Tamara with polite indifference, and having calmly displacedCount Valonne, sat down by the Princess' side.
Valonne was a charming person, and he and Tamara were great friends. Hechatted on now, and she smiled at him, but with ears preternaturallysharpened she heard the conversation of the other pair.
It was this.
"Tantine, I am feeling the absolute devil tonight. Will you come andhave supper with me after this infernal ballet is over?"
"Gritzko--what is it? Something has disturbed you!"
He leant forward and rested his chin on his hands. "Well, your haughtyguest touched me with too sharp a spur, perhaps," he said, "but she wasright. I do waste my life. I have been thinking of my mother. I believeshe might not be pleased with me sometimes. And then I felt mad, andnow I must do something to forget. So if you won't sup--"
"Oh! Gritzko!" the Princess said.
"I telephoned home and ordered things to be ready. I know you don'tlike a restaurant. Say you will come," and he kissed her hand. "I haveasked all the rest." And the Princess had to consent!
"You must promise not to quarrel any more with my godchild if we do. Iam sure you frighten and upset her, Gritzko--promise me," she said. Helaughed.
"I upset her! She is too cold and good to be upset!"
Tamara still continued to talk to Valonne, and presently they all movedinto the box, and the Prince sat down beside her, and again as heleaned over in the shaded light that nameless physical thrill creptover her. Was she really cold, she asked herself. If so, why should sheshiver as she was shivering now?
"I wonder if you have any heart at all, Madame?" he said. "If under themummy's wrappings there is some flesh and blood?"
Then she turned and answered him with passion. "Of course there is,"she said.
He bent over still nearer. "Just for to-night, shall we not quarrel orspar?" he whispered. "See, I will treat you as a sister and friend. Iwant to be petted and spoilt--I am sad."
Tamara, of course, melted at once! His extraordinarily attractive voicewas very deep and had a note in it which touched her heart.
"Please don't be sad," she said softly. "Perhaps you think I was unkindto-day, but indeed it was only because--Oh! because it seemed to mesuch waste that you--you should be like that."
"It hurt like the fiend, you know," he said, "the thought of the damnedcircus. I think we are particularly sensitive as a race to those sortof things. If you had been a man I would have killed you."
"I hated to hear what you told me," and Tamara looked down. "It seemedso dreadful--so barbaric--and so childish for a man who really has abrain. If you were just an animal person like some of the others are,it would not have mattered; but you--please I would like you never todo any of these mad things again--"
Then she stopped suddenly and grew tenderly pink. She realized theinference he must read in her words.
He did not speak for a moment, only devoured her with his greatblue-gray eyes. Of what he was thinking she did not know. It made heruncomfortable and a little ashamed. Why had she melted, it was neverany use. So she drew herself up stiffly and leaned back in her seat.
Then down at the side by the folds of her dress he caught her handwhile he said quite low:
"Madame, I must know--do you mean that?"
"Yes," she said, and tried to take away her hand. "Yes, I mean that Ithink it dreadful for any human being to throw things away--and Oh! Iwould like you to be very great."
He did not let go her hand, indeed he held it the more tightly.
"You are a dear after all, and I will try," he said. "And when I havepleased you you must give me a reward."
"Alas! What reward could I give you, Prince," she sighed.
"That I will tell you when the time comes."
Thus peace seemed to be restored, and soon the curtain fell for theinterval before the last act, and the Prince got up and went out of thebox.
He did not reappear again, but was waiting for them to start for hishouse.
"I met Stephen Strong, Tantine," he said. "He left me at Trieste, youknow, and only arrived in Petersburg to-day. He has got a cousin withhim, Lord something, so I have asked them both to come along. They willbe a little late they said."
"It is not Jack Courtray by chance--is it?" Tamara asked, in aninterested voice, as they went. "Mr. Strong has a cousin who lives nearus in the country and he is always traveling about."
"Yes, I think that is the name--Courtray. So you know him then!" andthe Prince leant forward from the seat which faced them. "An amid'enfance?"
"We used to play cricket and fish and bird's-nest," she said. "Tom--mybrother Tom--was his fag at Eton--he is one of my oldest friends--dearold Jack."
"How fortunate I met him to-night!"
"Indeed, yes."
Then her attention was diverted, as it always was each time she saw theblazing braziers and heaped up flaming piles of wood at the corners ofthe streets, since she had been in Russia. "How glad I am there issomething to make the poor people warm," she said.
"When it gets below twelve degrees it is difficult to enjoy life,certainly," the Prince agreed. "And, indeed, it is hard sometimes notto freeze."
It was a strange lurid picture, the Isvostchiks drawn round, while thepatient horses with their sleighs stood quiet some little distance off.
How hard must existence be to these poor things.
Supper could not be ready for half an hour, the Prince told them whenthey got to the Fontonka House, and as they all arrived more or lesstogether, they soon paired off for bridge.
"I am going to show Mrs. Loraine my pictures," the host said. "Sheadmires our Catherine and Peter the Great."
And in the salon where they all sat, he began pointing out
this one andthat, making comments in a distrait voice. But when they came to thedouble doors at the end he opened them wide, and led Tamara intoanother great room.
"This is the ballroom," he said. "It is like all ballrooms, so we shallnot linger over that. I have two Rembrandts in my own apartment beyondwhich it may interest you to see, and a few other relics of the past."
He was perfectly matter of fact, his manner had not a shade ofgallantry in it, and Tamara accepted this new situation and followedhim without a backward thought.
They seemed to go through several sheet-shrouded salons and came outinto a thoroughly comfortable room. Its general aspect of decorationhad a Byzantine look, and on the floor were several magnificent bearskins, while around the walls low bookcases with quantities of booksstood. And above them many arms were crossed. Over the mantelpiece afamous Rembrandt frowned, and another from the opposite wall. But itwas strange there were no photographs of dancers or actresses about asTamara would have thought.
The Prince talked intelligently. He seemed to know of such things aspictures, and understood their technique. And if he had been an elderlyart critic he could not have been more aloof.
Presently Tamara noticed underneath the first picture there was hung aquaint sword. Something in its shape and workmanship attracted herattention, and she asked its history.
The Prince took it down and placed it in her hand.
"That sword belonged to a famous person," he said--"a Cossack--StenkoRazin was his name--a robber and a brigand and a great chief. He loveda lady, a Persian Princess whom he had captured, and one day when outon his yacht on the Volga, being drunk from a present of brandy someDutch travellers had brought him, he clasped her in his arms. She wasvery beautiful and gentle and full of exquisite caresses, and he lovedher more than all his wealth. But mad thoughts mounted to his brain,and after making an oration to the Volga for all the riches and plundershe had brought him, he reproached himself that he had never given thisriver anything really valuable in return, and then exclaiming he wouldrepair his fault, unclasped the clinging arms of his mistress and flungher overboard."
"What a horrible brute!" exclaimed Tamara, and she put down the sword.
The Prince took it up and drew it from its sheath.
"The Cossacks had a wild strain in them even in those days," he said."You must not be too hard on me for merely riding my horse!"
"Would you be cruel like that, too, Prince?" Tamara asked; and she satdown for a second on the arm of a carved chair. And when he had put thesword back in its place, he bent forward and leaned on the back of it.
"Yes, I could be cruel, I expect," he said. "I could be even brutal ifI were jealous, or the woman I loved played me false, but I would notbe cruel to her while it hurt myself. Razin lost his pleasure for daysthrough one mad personal act. It would have been more sensible to havekept her until he was tired of her, or she had grown cold to him. Don'tyou agree with me about that?"
"It is a horrible history and I hate it," Tamara said. "Such ways I donot understand. For me love means something tender and true which couldnever want to injure the thing it loved."
He looked at her gravely.
"Lately I have wondered what love could mean for me. Tell me what youthink, Madame," he said.
She resolved not to allow any emotion to master her, though she wasconscious of a sudden beating of her heart.
"You would torture sometimes, and then you would caress."
"I would certainly caress."
He moved from his position and walked across the room, while he talkedas though the words burst from him.
"Yes, I should demand unquestioning surrender, and if it were refusedme, then I might be cruel. And if my love were cold or capricious,_then_ I would leave her. But if she loved me truly--my God, it wouldbe bliss."
"Think how it would hurt her when you did those foolish things though,"Tamara said.
He stopped short in his restless walk.
"No one does foolish things when he is happy, Madame. All suchoutbursts are the froth of a soul in its seething. But if one weresatisfied--" he paused, and then he went on again. "Oh! If youknew!--In the desert in Egypt I used to think I had found rest,sometimes. I am sated with this life here. A quoi bon, Madame!--thesame thing year after year!--and then since I have known you. I havewondered if perhaps you in your country could teach me peace."
"So many of you are so desequilibres," Tamara said. "You seem to be sopolished and sensible and even great, and then in a moment you are offat a tangent, displaying that want of discipline that we at home wouldnot permit in a child."
"Yes it is true."
"It seems that you love, and must have, or you hate and must kill.There are storms and passions, and the gaiety of children and theirirresponsibility, and all on the top is good manners and smiles, butunderneath--I have a feeling I know not what volcano may burst."
"Tonight I feel one could flame with me." He came up close now andlooked into her eyes, as if he were going to say something, and then herestrained himself.
Tamara did not move, she looked at him gravely.
"You all seem as if you had no aim," she said. "You are not interestedin the politics of your country. You don't seem to do anything but killtime--Why?"
"Our country!" he said, and he flung himself into a seat near. "Itwould be difficult to make you understand about that. In the old daysof the serfs, it was all very well. One could be a good landlord andfather to them all, but now----" Then he got up restlessly and pacedthe room. "Now there are so many questions. If one would think it woulddrive one mad, but I am a soldier, Madame, so I do not permit myself tospeculate at all."
"Things are not then as you would wish?" she asked.
"As I would wish--no, not as I would wish--but as I told you, I do notmix myself up with them. I only obey the Emperor and shall to the endof my life."
Tamara saw she had stirred too deep waters. His face wore a look ofprofound melancholy. She had never felt so drawn toward him. She lether eyes take in the picture he made. There was something very nobleabout his brow and the set of his head. Who could tell what thoughtswere working in his brain. Presently he got up again and knelt by herside--his movements had the grace and agility of a cat. He took herhand and kissed it.
"Madame, please don't make me think," he said. "The question is toogreat for one man to help. I do not go with the Liberals or any of therevolt. Indeed I am far on the other side. Good to this country shouldall have come in a different, finer way, and now it must work out itsown salvation as best it may. For me, my only duty is to my master.Nothing else could count." His eyes which looked into hers seemed greatsombre pools of unrest and pain.
She did not take away her hand and he kissed it again.
Then the clock on the mantelpiece chimed one, and she started to herfeet.
"Oh! Prince, should we not be thinking of supper," she said. "Come, letus forget we have been serious and go back and eat!"
He rose.
"They have probably gone in without us, they know me so well," he said;"but as you say, we will no more be serious, we will laugh."
Then he took her hand, and merrily, like two children, they ran throughall the big empty rooms to find exactly what he had predicted hadoccurred. The party were at supper quite unconcerned!
It was such a gay scene. Princess Sonia and Serge Grekoff were busilycutting raw ham, by their places; while others drank tea or vodka orchampagne, or helped themselves from various dishes the servants hadbrought up. There was no ceremony or stiffness, each one did as hepleased.
And there sitting by Olga Gleboff, already perfectly at home, was LordCourtray; and further down the Princess Ardacheff sat by Stephen Strong.
"Gritzko--we could not wait!" Countess Olga said.
Then both the Englishmen got up and greeted Tamara.
"Fancy seeing you here, Tamara! What a bit of luck!" Jack Courtray said.