CHAPTER XX
The lunch passed off with quiet reserve--there was no one present butStephen Strong. Tamara endeavored to behave naturally and answeredGritzko whenever he spoke to her. He, too, played his part, but thetone of things did not impose upon Stephen Strong.
As they were leaving the diningroom, on the plea of finding something,Tamara went to her room, and Gritzko took his leave.
"I will fetch you for the French plays tonight, Tantine," he said, "andprobably will come back to tea--tell Tamara," and so he left, and thetwo old friends were alone.
They stirred their coffee and then lit cigarettes--there was an awkwardsilence for a moment, and then the Princess said:
"Stephen, I count upon you to help us all over this. I do not, and willnot, even guess what has happened, but of course something has. Onlytell me, do you think he loves her? I cannot bear the idea of Tamara'sbeing unhappy."
The old Englishman puffed rings of smoke.
"If she is prepared never to cross his will, but let him be absolutemaster of her body and soul, while he makes continuous love to her, Ishould think she will be the happiest woman in the world. She is madlyinfatuated with him. She has been ever since we came from Egypt--I sawthe beginning on the boat--and I warned you, as you know, when Ithought he was only fooling."
"In Egypt!--they had met before then!" the Princess exclaimed,surprised; "how like Gritzko to pretend he did not know her,--and beintroduced all over again! They had already quarreled, I suppose, andthat accounts for the cat and dog like tone there has always beenbetween them."
"Probably," said Stephen Strong; "but now I think we can leave it tochance. You may be certain that to marry her is what he wishes most todo,--or he would not have asked her."
"Not even if--he thought he ought to?"
"No--dear friend. No! I believe I know Gritzko even better than you do.If there was a sense of obligation, and no desire in the case, he wouldsimply shoot her and himself, rather than submit to a fate against hisinclination. You may rest in peace about that. Whatever strain there isbetween them, it is not of that sort. I believe he adores her in hisodd sort of way, just let them alone now and all will be well."
And greatly comforted the Princess was able to go out calling.
The news was received with every sort of emotion,--surprise, chagrin,joy, excitement, speculation, and there were even those among them whoaverred they had predicted this marriage all along.
"Fortunately we like her," Countess Olga said. "She is a good sort, andperhaps she will keep Gritzko quiet, and he may be faithful to her."
But this idea was laughed to scorn, until Valonne joined in with hisunderstanding smile.
"I will make you a bet," he said; "in five years' time they will stillbe love-birds. She will be the only one among this party who won't havebeen divorced and have moved on to another husband."
"You horribly spiteful cat!" Princess Sonia laughed. "But I am sure weall hope they will be happy."
Meanwhile Jack Courtray had come in at once to see Tamara.
"Well, upon my word! fancy you marrying a foreigner, old girl!" hesaid; "but you have got just about the best chap I have ever met, and Ibelieve you'll be jolly happy."
And Tamara bent down so that he should not see the tears which gatheredin her eyes, while she answered softly, "Thank you very much, Jack; butno one is ever sure of being happy."
And even though Lord Courtray's perceptions were rather thick hewondered at her speech--it upset him.
"Look here, Tamara," he said, "don't you do it then if it is a chancysort of thing. Don't go and tie yourself up if you aren't sure you lovehim."
Love him!--good God!--
Pent-up feeling overcame Tamara. She answered in a voice her oldplaymate had never dreamed she possessed--so concentrated and full ofpassion. In their English lives they were so accustomed to controllingevery feeling into a level commonplace that if they had had time tothink, both would have considered this outburst melodramatic.
"Jack," Tamara said, "you don't know what love is. I tell you I knownow--I love Gritzko so that I would rather be unhappy with him thanhappy with any one else on earth. And if they ask you at home, say Iwould not care if he were a Greek, or a Turk, or an African nigger, Iwould follow him to perdition.--There!"--and she suddenly burst intotears and buried her face in her hands.
Yes, it was true. In spite of shame and disgrace, and fear, she lovedhim--passionately loved him.
Of course Jack, who was the kindest-hearted creature, at once put hisarm around her and took out his handkerchief and wiped her eyes, whilehe said soothingly:
"I say, my child--there! there!--this will never do," and he continuedto pet and try to comfort her, but all she could reply was to ask himto go, and to promise her not to say anything about her outburst oftears to any one.
And, horribly distressed, Jack did what she wished, running againstGritzko in the passage as he went out; but they had met before thatday, so he did not stop, but, nodding in his friendly way, passed downthe stairs.
Tamara sat where he had left her, the tears still trickling over hercheeks, while she stared into the fire. The vision she saw there of herfuture did not console her.
To be married to a man whom she knew she would daily grow to lovemore--every moment of her time conscious that the tie was one ofsufferance, her pride and self respect in the dust--it was a miserablepicture.
Gritzko came in so quietly through the anteroom that, lost in hertroubled thoughts, she did not hear him until he was quite close. Shegave a little startled exclamation and then looked at himdefiantly--she was angry that he saw her tears.
His face went white and his voice grew hoarse with overmasteringemotion.
"What has happened between you and your friend, Madame? Tell me thetruth. No man should see you cry! Tell me everything, or I will killhim."
And he stood there his eyes blazing.
Then Tamara rose and drew herself to her full height, while a flash ofher vanished pride returned to her mien, and with great haughtiness sheanswered in a cold voice:
"I beg you to understand one thing, Prince, I will not be insulted bysuspicions and threats against my friends. Lord Courtray and I havebeen brought up as brother and sister. We spoke of my home, which I maynever see again, and I told him what he was to say to them there whenthey asked about me. If I have cried I am ashamed of my tears, and whenyou speak and act as you have just done, it makes me ashamed of thefeeling which caused them."
He took a step nearer, he admired her courage.
"What was the feeling which caused them? Tell me, I must know,--" hesaid; but as he spoke he chanced to notice she had replaced her weddingring, it shone below his glittering ruby.
"That I will not bear!" he exclaimed, and with almost violence heseized her wrist and forcibly drew both rings from her finger, and thenreplaced his own.
"There shall be no token of another! No gold band there but mine, anduntil then, no jewel but this ruby!"
Then he dropped her hand and turning, threw the wedding ring withpassion in the fire!
Tamara made a step forward in protest, and then she stood petrifiedwhile her eyes flashed with anger.
"Indeed, yes, I am ashamed I cried!" she said at last between her teeth.
He made some restless paces, he was very much moved.
"I must know--" he began. But at that moment the servants came in withthe tea, and Tamara seized the opportunity while they were settling thetray to get nearer the door, and then fled from the room, leavingGritzko extremely disturbed.
What could she mean? He knew in his calmer moments he had not the leastcause to be jealous of Jack. What was the inference in her words? Twoweeks seemed a long time to wait before he could have all cloudsdispersed, all things explained--as she lay in his arms. And thisthought--to hold her in his arms--drove him wild. He felt inclined torush after her, to ask her to forgive him for his anger, to kiss andcaress her, to tell her he loved her madly and was jealous of even theair she breat
hed until he should hear her say she loved him.
He went as far as to write a note.
"Madame," he began--He determined to keep to the severest formality orhe knew he would never be able to play his part until the end.--"Iregret my passion just now. The situation seemed peculiar as I came in.I understand there was nothing for me to have been angry about,--pleaseforgive me. Rest now. I will come and fetch you at quarter to eight.
"Gritzko."
And as he went away he had it sent to her room.
And when Tamara read it the first gleam of comfort she had known sincethe night at the hut illumined her thoughts. If he should loveher--after all!--But no, this could not be so; his behavior was not thebehavior of love. But in spite of the abiding undercurrent ofhumiliation and shame, the situation was intensely exciting. Shefeverishly looked forward to the evening. Her tears seemed to haveunlocked her heart--she was no longer numb. She was perfectly awarethat no matter what he had done she wildly loved him. He had takeneverything from her, dragged her down from her pedestal, but that lastremnant of self-respect she would keep. He should not know of thiscrowning humiliation--that she still loved him. So her manner was likeice when he came into the room, and the chill of it communicated itselfto him. They hardly spoke on the way to the Theatre Michel, and whenthey entered the box she pretended great interest in the stage, while,between the acts, all their friends came in to give theircongratulations.
Tamara asked to be excused from going on to supper and the ball whichwas taking place. And she kept close to her godmother while going out,and so contrived that she did not say a word alone with Gritzko. It wasbecause he acquiesced fully in this line of conduct that she was ableto carry it through, otherwise he would not have permitted it for amoment.
He realized from this night that the situation could only be madepossible if he saw her rarely and before people--alone with her, humannature would be too strong. So with the most frigid courtesy andceremony between them the days wore on, and toward the beginning of thefollowing week Gritzko went off with Jack Courtray on the bear-hunt. Hecould stand no more.
But after he was gone Tamara loathed the moments. She was overwroughtand overstrung. Harassed by the wailing and expostulations of herfamily for what they termed her "rash act," worried by dressmakers anddozens of letters to write, troubled always with the one dominatingfear, at last she collapsed and for two days lay really ill in adarkened room.
Then Gritzko returned, and there were only five days before thewedding. He had sent her flowers each morning as a lover should, and hehad loaded her with presents,--all of which she received in the samecrushed spirit. With the fixed idea in her brain that he was onlymarrying her because as a gentleman he must, none of his gifts gave herany pleasure. And he, with immense control of passion had played hispart, only his time of probation was illumined by the knowledge ofcoming joy. Whereas poor Tamara, as the time wore on, lost all hope,and grew daily paler and more fragile-looking.
Her father had a bad attack of the gout, and could not possibly move;but her brother Tom and her sister, Lady Newbridge, and MillicentHardcastle were to arrive three days before the wedding.