Louisa, doubtful that the fever had left her sister hearing impaired, and even dubious of the typhoid diagnosis, suddenly felt mischievous. “Perhaps Georgy would benefit from an ear trumpet?”
Roused from her lethargy, Georgy cried, “I’d rather die than use an ear trumpet. It would make me a laughingstock!”
“I’m sorry, Georgy. I was only teasing.” Louisa looked at her mother. “Father will be glad to see you, and I’m sure Rachel has missed you terribly.”
“Yes, though we wrote faithfully, letters are a poor substitute. Your father didn’t mention if Johnny had had any success with the reform bill. But I don’t believe the prime minister will present it until he feels sure the Lords will pass it.” Her next thought brought a smile. “When we get home, we must start making plans for Christmas.”
“Johnny always comes to Woburn for Christmas. He says it rejuvenates him so he can work full bore when Parliament reconvenes in the New Year.”
Louisa saw that her sister had fallen asleep and with the monotonous rocking of the coach it wasn’t long before both she and her mother gave themselves up to the arms of Morpheus.
It’s true. I can’t deny it any longer. “Holy Mother of God,” Georgy whispered, “what will I do?” She stood before her mirror with clenched fists. She raised them intending to smash them into her reflection, when she suddenly stopped. Hellfire, I cannot break another mirror. That’s why I’m having such rotten bad luck!
Tears filled her eyes, as she began to frantically count the months since she’d fucked with Teddy Fox. This was the third week of November. As far as she could remember their last fateful coupling had been around the third week of July. “Four months!” She drew in a ragged breath. She placed a shaking hand on her belly and hated the small mound she felt beneath her tight riding habit. “I must get rid of it somehow. I cannot wait any longer.”
For the next week she rode every day, galloping like a madwoman in an attempt to shake it loose. But it clung like a leech and every night she cursed heaven and hell. When December dawned and Georgy had received no divine intervention, she made a decision.
She put a warm cloak over her riding dress to cover the burst seams and went into her sister’s bedchamber. “Louisa, would you like to go riding with me?”
Lu was surprised. Her sister always rode alone these days and seemed so withdrawn and unhappy. “Yes, I’d love to go with you. Do you think I’ll need a cloak?”
“Yes, I think you should wear one. There’s frost in the air, and if we are dressed alike, it won’t draw attention to me.”
In the stables Louisa saddled her own horse and saw that Georgy struggled to do the same, refusing the help of a groom.
Georgy galloped madly through Woburn’s park toward the woods and Louisa followed. Once she reached the cover of the trees, Georgy reined in and dismounted. She sat down on a fallen log and gestured for her sister to join her.
“I want to share a secret with you. But first you must promise me you will not breathe a word to anyone.”
Lu sat down. At last she is going to tell me what has been troubling her. “Of course I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me, Georgy.”
“I’m going to have a baby.”
Lu stared at her sister’s pale face and frightened eyes in disbelief, shocked into momentary speechlessness. Suddenly all the puzzling pieces of her sister’s strange behavior fell into place and began to make sense. The enormity of her situation made her heart ache. She took hold of her hand. “Georgy, I’m so sorry.”
Her gentle sympathy opened the floodgates. Georgy buried her face against her sister’s shoulder and sobbed.
Louisa held her tightly and decided not to ask the unkind question about who had fathered the child. Instead she asked, “How long have you known?”
Georgy drew in a long shuddering breath and allowed Lu to wipe away her tears. “I suspected it before we went to Scotland, but then I pushed the terrifying thought away and refused to believe it. Even after I missed my menses for a couple of months, I kept denying it. I prayed that the jolting carriage or long gallops in the mountains would start my bleeding. I can’t deny it any longer. I’m four months gone. Will you help me?”
Your vomiting was morning sickness. You never had typhoid fever. “No wonder you’ve been so withdrawn and worried. I’ll help you any way I can, Georgy.”
“I want you to help me keep it secret. I wore the cloak because I split the seams on my riding dress. Promise me you won’t tell Mother.”
“I cross my heart, Georgy.” If you are four months along, you won’t be able to hide it much longer. “We can let out the seams on all your dresses and enlarge them.”
“Thank you, Lu. You have no idea how relieved I am to share it with you.”
Louisa and Georgy got to work immediately letting out her clothes. For the next week Georgy wore a paisley shawl over her gowns as the family made preparations for the Christmas festivities.
“Are you cold, darling?” Georgina asked her daughter.
“Yes. I seem to feel the cold more since I had the typhoid.”
“I shall crochet you a shawl. I have some lovely soft wool I brought from Scotland.”
That night when the sisters retired, Georgy came into Louisa’s bedchamber. “You have to help me, Lu.” She took a crochet hook from her pocket. “You have to help me get rid of it.”
Louisa recoiled. “I can’t do that!”
“You promised to help me,” Georgy cried desperately.
“We’ve both heard the stories of servant girls dying from doing that.”
Georgy sank down on the bed. “Whatever am I to do? I cannot face the scandal. I’d rather die than have anyone find out.”
Louisa sat down beside her and put her arm around her. “Have you told the father?”
“He won’t marry me! And if this gets out, it will ruin my chances of ever marrying. Swear to me again that you will never reveal my shameful secret!”
“I swear on my honor, Georgy. Go to bed and get some rest. We’ll get up early and go for a good gallop. Maybe that will do the trick.”
The following day the sisters saddled up and galloped through Woburn’s park. As Louisa headed north, Georgy stopped her. “I don’t want to ride to Ampthill. I don’t want to run into Uncle Holly or Beth. Let’s ride south.”
It’s Teddy she doesn’t want to see. Georgy’s words rang in her ears: “He won’t marry me!” Louisa could not believe their friend would be that cruel and dishonorable. “It’s Teddy Fox, isn’t it? Have you told him?”
Georgy laughed bitterly. “Yes, I told him. Would you like to hear his reply? He said: ‘If I offer for anyone, it will be Louisa.’ ”
O my God! Lu was covered with guilt that Teddy Fox preferred her to her sister. He is a selfish bastard like all men.
Georgy took off, galloping like the wind. She spurned the road and took off across the barren, rutted fields. Louisa did her best to keep up. They rode hard for two hours before Georgy stopped and dismounted. “I have to pee. I can’t hold it these days.”
She pulled up her petticoats and examined them minutely for any smear of blood. Furious that she could not bend nature to her will, she jumped into the saddle and rode hell-for-leather across the fields, back the way they had come.
Two hours later, they arrived back at Woburn Park. Louisa was relieved that her sister had slowed to a canter, then was horrified to see Georgy let go of her reins and fling herself to the ground. O my God! She’s trying to kill herself!
Lu reined in, dismounted, and ran to her sister who lay in a crumpled heap. She fell to her knees. “Georgy, Georgy, speak to me!”
“I want to die.”
“No, you don’t, Georgy. I won’t let you die!” She lifted her to a sitting position. “Where does it hurt?”
Georgy closed her eyes in abject misery. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t hurt anywhere except my knee and my back.”
“Can you walk, or shall I get help?” Lu asked fra
ntically.
“Don’t . . . you . . . dare.” She glared at her sister with unconcealed hatred.
“Rest for a few minutes while I take the horses to the stable. Then I’ll come back and help you up to the house.”
When they entered Woburn, their mother was busy putting up Yule decorations while the Russell brothers erected an enormous Christmas tree.
“Everything looks lovely,” Lu declared. “As soon as I change my clothes, I’ll be back to help you decorate the tree.”
The sisters managed to climb the stairs unobserved. Georgy limped into her bedchamber and Lu hung up her sister’s cloak. “Lie down and I’ll rub your back.”
Lu removed her sister’s boots and gently massaged her back. “Georgy, you frightened me to death. Promise you won’t do anything so reckless again?”
“It didn’t work,” she said dully.
“I’ll bring you up a tray. I’ll tell them you are tired from the ride.”
“I’m not hungry.” Georgy closed her eyes and lay still.
Downstairs, Louisa went through the motions of decorating the Christmas tree with her brothers, but her thoughts were focused on Georgy. The chatter was all about presents and games and who would be Lord of Misrule this year, and none noticed that Lu was preoccupied.
At the evening meal when her father asked about Georgy’s absence, Lu had her story ready. “I’m going to take a tray up to her. She’s busy wrapping presents, and after dinner I’m going up to do the same.”
“I invited my sister Charlotte and her entire clan, but it’s possible they will hold Christmas at Fife House,” Georgina announced. “Johnny, however, has sent word that he will be here until New Year. I’ve invited the prime minister and his wife, and of course the Hollands.” She glanced at Louisa. “I sent an invitation to James Hamilton and his brother Claud. I do hope they’ll come.”
Louisa’s anxious thoughts of Georgy crowded out everything else. Woburn will be filled with guests. How will Georgy face everyone? I love her so much. If only I could find a way to help her.
Lu set the tray down by Georgy’s bed. Her sister had undressed and put on her nightgown. “How are you feeling?”
“My knee is bruised and my back hurts.”
“I have some angelica salve that will take away your bruises.”
Lu brought the pot of ointment and rubbed it on her sister’s knee. Then she raised her nightgown to look at her back. “It’s black and blue, but not nearly as bad as I feared. That was a very hard fall.” She anointed her sister’s back. “Drink your wine; it will help you sleep.”
Lu saw that Georgy’s hand trembled as she lifted the wineglass to her lips and her heart went out to her. “We’ll face this together, Georgy,” she pledged.
“Will you stay with me for a while?” Georgy picked at her food.
“Of course I will.”
Georgy set down her fork. “I’m so sick and tired of everything.”
“Get into bed. You need rest. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
Lu sought her own chamber once her sister slept. She put on her nightgown and climbed into bed. Distressing thoughts filled her head. Georgy hates me. She thinks no one will offer for her, and blames me. It devastates me that she is in such a mess. I’ll stand by her, no matter what. Tired by her ride, she drifted into slumber.
Two hours later, Louisa awoke when Georgy shook her arm. “Lu, I don’t feel very well. I don’t want to be alone.”
Louisa slid out of bed and turned up the lamp. “Are you going to throw up?”
“No, I don’t think so.” She shivered. “I’m in pain . . . I hurt all over.”
“You’re cold. Get into my bed. It’s nice and warm.” Lu took the chamber pot from the cupboard in the night table. “Just in case.”
Georgy lay down and pulled up the covers. She moaned softly to ease her misery. All at once, she bolted upright. She pressed a fist against her mouth to smother a scream, as a sharp pain tore through her belly. She felt a tearing sensation, followed by a gush of warm wetness between her thighs. She threw back the covers and saw that she was bleeding.
Louisa’s eyes went wide. “O my Lord, you’re having a miscarriage!”
“Thank God! Thank God! What shall I do?” she whispered frantically.
Blood was spreading everywhere, drenching Georgy’s nightgown and staining the bedsheets.
“Is the pain unbearable?” Lu was terrified for her sister.
“The agonizing pain has stopped.” She panted with relief and with fear.
For an hour they sat together while Georgy cramped and bled into towels Louisa had brought. When the cramping eased, Louisa helped her sister from the bed. “Here put this towel between your legs and squeeze them together.”
Three towels later, the bleeding subsided. Louisa cut a fresh towel into smaller squares. She removed her sister’s soaked nightgown, then brought water and washed her. “I’ll get you a fresh gown.” Lu pulled the crisp white nightgown over Georgy’s body and handed her the squares of towel. “Here, use these as pads.”
Georgy was weak with relief but still shaking with fear of discovery. “Promise you’ll keep my secret, Lu?”
“I promise no one will ever know. I’ll burn these sheets tomorrow and put fresh ones on the bed.”
“Swear to me you won’t tell anyone.” Tears streamed down her face. “I’ll kill myself if anyone ever finds out I was with child!”
“Georgy, I swear on my life I will keep this secret. Surely you know you can trust me? No one will ever know.” Lu looked down at herself and saw her nightgown and hands were covered with blood, just as in her nightmares. Her nerves were stretched to the breaking point and she let out a sob.
Suddenly the door opened and their mother walked in. “What on earth—”
The three females stood staring at one another.
“Oh, my darling.” Georgina closed the distance between them and enfolded Louisa in her arms. “My poor, poor, darling. You’re having a miscarriage.”
“No . . . Mother . . . I—” Lu saw her sister’s face, pale as death and she couldn’t betray her. Georgy had tried to kill herself once and she would do it again rather than face the shameful scandal. I’m stronger than Georgy.
The duchess stripped the sheets from the bed and put on fresh ones. Then she took a clean nightgown from the drawer and gently eased the blood-stained one from her daughter’s body. “You will need to rest.” She led Louisa to the bed and glanced at Georgy. “I want you both to listen carefully. No one must ever know about this. Not even your father—especially not your father.” She bundled up the bloodied nightgowns, sheets, and towels. “I’ll tell the servants that I had the miscarriage. I’ve had them before. We will keep this secret between the three of us. No one else must know.”
The duchess saw that Georgy was swaying on her feet. “Go back to your own bed, dearest. I’ll look after your sister now.”
She bent and placed a tender kiss on Louisa’s forehead. “These things happen, darling. We’ll get through this together.”
Montagu House, London
August 1894
“The name is the destiny,” Dowager Duchess Louisa murmured as she watched her daughter, Georgianna Susan, move toward her through the throng of guests. I named her after my sister Georgy, never dreaming that my baby girl would turn out to look exactly like her aunt. Never mind, darling. Your plain face didn’t stop you from becoming the Fifth Countess of Winterton.
Louisa smiled a secret smile. I could have been the Fourth Countess of Winterton. Earl Winterton panted after me and I might have succumbed if he hadn’t been such a boring cricket fanatic. “Georgy, darling. Do you have something of import to impart?”
“Yes, Mother. The press wants permission to take photographs for the newspaper.”
“My vanity compels me to grant permission. Pass the word and gather everyone together . . . my sons and daughters first, then my grandchildren, and then my great-grandchildren. Make sure
no one is overlooked, Georgy.”
As Louisa gazed after her daughter, she felt a tug on her heartstrings. She is the spitting image of my dear sister, Georgy. The devastating night my sister miscarried is indelibly stamped in my memory as if it just happened.
That was the night that changed my life and my destiny . . .
Chapter Eighteen
“Henry! Beth! I wish you a Happy Christmas, and many more to come.” The Duchess of Bedford greeted her dearest friends warmly. “Don’t tell me Teddy isn’t coming!”
Beth threw an apologetic look at Georgy and Louisa. “He’s gone to Horsham in West Sussex. He said he felt duty bound to visit his constituents while Parliament is in recess.”
“How very noble of him,” Louisa said sweetly.
“Actually,” Lord Holland confided, “we are extremely pleased that Teddy has begun to take his responsibilities seriously.”
“Uncle Holly, you always manage to make me laugh.” Louisa glanced at her sister and gave her a reassuring smile.
Georgina lamented, “With George Grey and our sons Edward and Charles off serving their country, there will be a shortage of bachelors to celebrate Christmas with us this year. I made a special point of inviting James Hamilton and his brother, but apparently they’ve gone to Ireland.” She glanced at Louisa and saw her blush.
Mother is annoyed that Abercorn won’t be coming, but I’m relieved. If he were here, she and Father would aid and abet him in his pursuit of me. “Johnny arrived yesterday and Jack has volunteered to be Lord of Misrule.” Lu smiled at her brother. “He’ll make sure everyone has a good time.”
“Why don’t I organize a hunt for this afternoon? We have no snow yet, and I’m sure the ladies would enjoy a good gallop.”
“Organize it for just the men, Jack. You forget that Georgy is recuperating from that dreadful bout of fever.” The duchess glanced at Louisa with concerned eyes. “Your sisters are helping Johnny write a Christmas play they are going to perform.”