‘He wouldn’t hit me,’ I said quietly, fiddling with my T-shirt. There was a rip in it; it must’ve happened when I fell off the workbench. ‘Even Noah knows where to draw the line.’
‘I hope so,’ Lee muttered.
‘I know so.’
‘One minute you’re at each other’s throats, the next you’re defending him?’ It wasn’t an accusation, just a statement.
‘You flipped out pretty quickly yourself,’ I pointed out. ‘What’s up?’
He sighed, mussing his hair. ‘I’m just on edge. Failed my history test, remember? My parents said maybe I’m spending too much time with Rachel. I’m just stressed.’
I reached for his hand, linking my fingers through his. He squeezed my hand back tightly, and took a deep breath.
‘Anyway, don’t change the subject, missy. Since when were you two so buddy-buddy, anyway? You and Noah looked pretty close when I came in.’
My heart raced. I didn’t think he’d seen anything – Lee was never the kind to beat around the bush – he’d have already asked me straight out if he suspected anything was up.
Now isn’t the right time. Not right now. You can tell him some other time, but not now . . .
My stomach twisted around. I should just tell him. I mean . . . he was bound to find out at some point, so why not just tell him now, before he found out from someone else? I should just tell him.
I didn’t want to. He was going to hate me.
But he’d hate me less now than if he found out later.
‘Lee, please don’t hate—’
‘Elle?’ came a voice from the doorway.
I broke off with a sigh, flopping back onto Lee’s bed. Noah had the worst possible timing in the world. Not now, when I was just about to tell Lee. Not now.
‘What the hell do you want?’ Lee snapped at him, when I didn’t say anything.
Noah shot him a glare, but said, ‘Elle, can I talk to you a sec?’
‘Sure.’ I squeezed Lee’s hand once more before letting go and pushing myself up off the bed. I gave Lee what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and shut the bedroom door as I left.
Noah was scratching at the back of his neck, his jaw tight. It took me a while to read his expression: he was thinking about something pretty hard. He opened his mouth, closed it, then dragged me after him to his room again. This time, he shut the door properly.
‘I get it if – if, you know, you don’t . . . if you want to stop . . . you know, whatever we’ve been doing. If you don’t want to see me anymore.’
I frowned a little. Where was this coming from all of a sudden? ‘Why would I want to do that?’
He shrugged. ‘I get it if you do. You were saying earlier about me being violent, and then there was that stuff Lee said about – about me hitting you, and I just . . . I get it.’
I kept on frowning.
‘Violence junkie isn’t exactly on anyone’s list of top five qualities in a guy, huh?’ He gave a bitter smile. ‘I’d never do something like what Lee said, though – you know that, right? I’m serious. I’d never hurt you, Elle, I swear.’
I nodded. ‘I know, okay? I know.’
‘But I still understand if you don’t want to . . . keep this up. Whatever we’re doing. If you want to stop—’
‘I don’t. I mean,’ I went on hastily when his face fell, ‘I don’t want to stop.’
He smiled, and gave a breathy chuckle, pulling me forward and resting his forehead on mine. ‘I’m such a bad influence on you. Letting you make stupid decisions like this.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like staying with me.’ He gave me a quick kiss on the lips, then stepped back and said, ‘Go on – before he thinks you’ve pushed me out of the window or something.’
I laughed, and shook my head at him as I walked out. Lee was waiting outside his bedroom – but he wasn’t eavesdropping. Just waiting.
‘What was that about?’
I said something about Noah telling me he wouldn’t hit me, waving a hand around dismissively like it didn’t matter. But my heart was hammering in my chest, waiting for Lee to nod and accept my lie.
‘Is this the part where you tell me my best friend and my big brother are madly in love?’
I snorted, burst out laughing. ‘Lee, you do come up with some trash,’ I told him.
In love? Me, in love with Noah Flynn?
Yeah. Right.
My dad just sighed and told me to be more careful when I told him I’d fallen in the garage at Lee’s.
‘Honestly,’ he said. ‘You’re worse than your mom ever was. You remember that time she tripped on the escalator at the mall? Almost had to have stitches in her foot.’ He shook his head, smiling nostalgically at the memory.
Nobody at school doubted my story that I’d fallen in Lee’s garage either. And why should they? It wasn’t a lie – for once. Lying seemed to go hand in hand with my relationship with Noah, and I hated that.
But I seemed to be getting better and better at it every day. Not that it was something I was proud of.
At lunch I was waiting for Lee and the guys to finish loading their plates when the entire table suddenly filled with the girls.
‘So I was thinking,’ Jaime announced, looking right at me, ‘about Flynn.’
‘Ooh, spill,’ Tamara said eagerly.
‘Is he with anyone?’ she asked me bluntly.
Everyone knew Flynn was single, that he didn’t have girlfriends, just flings. So why did she suddenly think he was ‘with’ someone? Had we slipped up? Had she seen us? Was that why she directed that question at me?
I swallowed, flexing my fingers into my clammy palms. I went for an easy answer. ‘I’m not exactly clued in on what Noah’s doing all the time.’
‘You’re more clued in than any of us,’ Olivia muttered. ‘Lucky bitch.’ But she winked at me with a big smile and I laughed, feeling a little relieved.
‘Why are you asking?’ I said to Jaime.
She shrugged. ‘We just had this theory.’
‘Theory?’ I repeated. Jaime nodded, and Candice leaned in closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. Casually, like my pulse wasn’t racing wildly, I picked up a forkful of my pasta salad.
‘We think Flynn’s got some mystery girlfriend.’
I very nearly dropped my fork. I only just kept from dropping my jaw too.
Samantha snorted. ‘I doubt it. This is Flynn we’re talking about. He’s such a player, I cannot picture him going long-term with anyone . . .’
‘Well, maybe if he met the right girl,’ Karen laughed, pointing to herself.
‘Think about it though,’ Candice went on. ‘I haven’t seen him with anybody – and I mean anybody – in weeks. Usually you’ll see him making out with some lucky girl at parties, but—’
‘Ohmigosh!’ Tamara squealed. ‘You’re so right! There hasn’t been any girl with him for weeks. But you all saw that hickey he had a couple of weeks ago, right?’
‘Who could miss it?’ Olivia laughed.
I was trying so hard not to blush or look too guilty or worried. These girls noticed more than I gave them credit for.
‘Have you seen him with anyone, Elle? You know when you’re around his place, hanging out with Lee?’
I shook my head. ‘No, I haven’t seen him with anyone.’
‘I wonder who it is . . .’
‘If there is anyone,’ Faith put in.
Then I said, oh so very casually, ‘Maybe he’s gay.’
There was silence for a little while, and I carried on calmly eating my pasta salad. Everyone was gawking at me.
‘No way.’
‘He can’t be.’
‘You don’t think he really is, do you?’
‘No, there’s no way!’
I couldn’t hold it back any longer; I burst out laughing. ‘I’m kidding! You should’ve seen your faces just then . . . I wish I’d had a camera . . .’
Candice swatted my arm, scowling. ‘That wasn’t very nice, Ell
e.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I giggled. ‘I couldn’t resist.’
But it had distracted them from the subject of Noah Flynn’s supposed mystery girlfriend, and I was completely off the radar. I breathed an inaudible sigh of relief, listening to them discussing boys. I heard enough Flynn-related gossip when I wasn’t involved in it; I don’t know how I’d ever survive if they found out that innocent little Rochelle had been fooling around with bad-ass Flynn.
Hell, that would be about as believable as if I told them I’d gone out and bought a motorbike.
Chapter 17
WAY TOO SOON, it was the middle of May.
As if I wasn’t already preoccupied enough with everything going on in my life – not to mention finals coming up – I had the school council to deal with, too.
‘Well, the Summer Dance is going to be at the beginning of June,’ Tyrone announced to us.
‘What? But that gives us hardly any time!’ someone protested loudly.
Tyrone threw his hands up in surrender, and everyone hushed up. ‘I don’t choose the date, sorry. This is the only time we could get the ballroom at the Royale.’
‘You got us the Royale?’ Kaitlin shrieked, voicing what most of us girls were thinking. The Royale was a totally extravagant hotel, all white and gold and marble.
Tyrone nodded. ‘Yup. The budget managed to swing it, but we’ll be tight pressed on the decorations and the band, unless we bump tickets up a little.’
‘Well, we can do that,’ I said. ‘It’s the Royale. Nobody will care if they have to pay a little more to go there.’
‘True,’ he said, and everyone nodded to show they agreed with me. ‘Well, anyway, we really need to figure out food, a band, the tickets and—’
‘We need a theme,’ one of the girls said, planting her hands down on the table.
Faith jumped in her seat excitedly. ‘We should totally do, like, medieval! I saw this show where they had a medieval theme and it was awesome!’
‘No,’ all the boys said, almost simultaneously. I giggled at the horrified look on Lee’s face.
‘How about black and white?’
‘That’s hardly summery.’
‘Vintage? Like, the sixties or something? Or, no – we should do, like, the Roaring Twenties! The guys would all turn up like gangsters in flashy suits, and you know they had those – oh, what do you call them? – the flapper dresses. It’d be so cool,’ Bridget suggested excitedly.
‘Um, no,’ someone said flatly.
‘Do I get to take a gun,’ Tony joked, ‘if I’m Al Capone?’
‘That would totally work,’ one of the boys said sarcastically. It was Max, from my English class. ‘Prohibition era? At a school dance? Because nobody’s going to try and smuggle in alcohol and get school dances banned.’
‘Well, we could have a masquerade—’
‘Yeah! Oh my God, yes! That’s awesome!’
I groaned and banged my head down on the table before sitting back up. ‘Oh, come on! Don’t you think that’s just so overdone? Everybody has a masquerade these days. It’s even all over TV. There’s got to be something else . . .’
‘We already had that stupid Hollywood theme or whatever the hell you called it for the Winter Dance,’ Eric grumbled. ‘At least the masquerade thing is kind of cool.’
‘But it’s been done so many times!’
‘I agree,’ Lee said.
‘Of course you do,’ I heard Tyrone mutter as he shook his head at us.
‘Hey, we could always have a mini carnival,’ said Lily with a gleam in her eyes. ‘You know, with a fortune teller, cotton candy . . . another kissing booth.’
‘So long as Elle’s running it I’m all for that,’ laughed Tony, one of the seniors, winking at me. I just rolled my eyes and hoped I wasn’t blushing. All this time, and they were still bringing up how I’d made out with Flynn at the kissing booth.
‘No, we’re not doing that,’ Lee said, sounding so much like Noah I did a double take.
‘Well, anyway,’ Tyrone said, clearly getting impatient now. ‘Everyone in favor of a masquerade?’
Everyone bar Lee and I raised their hands.
‘Then it’s settled. Lee, Elle, can I count on you guys to do the posters and the tickets?’
‘Sure,’ we sighed at the same time. While Tyrone basically dictated what we were to make, without giving us a particular design, everyone else split up the rest of the duties between them.
Don’t get me wrong – I was really looking forward to the Summer Dance. It would be amazing – especially since the venue was the Royale. But I hated the prospect of having to get a date.
The dances at our school were for juniors and seniors. The Winter and Summer Dances were huge events here. For the Winter Dance I’d just gone with Lee as friends, since he didn’t have a girlfriend at the time.
But now he’d ask Rachel.
And that meant he wouldn’t be going with me – so I had to get a date. There was no way I was going alone.
So . . .
Who would I go with?
I knew who I wanted to go with – but then I thought of the rumors and gossip that would spread like a virus if I turned up with Noah Flynn . . . even the thought of that made me feel nauseous.
And I could hardly turn up without explaining it all to Lee first: he’d hate me if I sprang it on him; but when would I get a chance to tell him? And summon the courage to tell him . . .
I couldn’t exactly see guys queuing up to ask me, thanks to Noah.
On the bright side – if I turned up alone and it was a masquerade, maybe nobody would know it was me?
I held out a wild hope that Noah would ask me, though. I wondered if I should drop a few hints, and the opportunity rolled around a couple of days later.
We were doing some mock-ups of posters and tickets on Lee’s computer when his phone rang.
‘Hey, Dixon . . . What? Are you serious? Oh, man! I’ll be right there!’
Lee leaped up, grabbing his sneakers and looking like a five-year-old on Christmas morning.
‘What’s going on?’
‘He’s at the food court in the mall with some of the guys, and guess who’s there? Buying donuts?’
‘Uh . . .’
‘Matt Cain. From the San Francisco Giants. You know – the baseball player? He’s a pitcher?’
‘Oh, right, cool. So you’re off then.’
‘Hell yeah!’ he laughed. ‘Hey, do you know where my baseball cap is?’
‘In the closet,’ I said, pointing. I rifled through his messy desk before finding a Sharpie, which I handed over my shoulder as he ran out of the room.
‘Later!’ he yelled, the front door slamming behind him.
I laughed. I’d heard of Matt Cain, but I wasn’t much of a baseball fanatic. Sure, it was great to play and fun to watch. I’d been to a couple of games with my dad and Brad, and with Lee. Personally, I preferred watching football.
Especially if it’s Noah playing . . .
They had another game coming up Friday, I remembered. It was, like, the quarterfinals or semifinals. I’d probably end up going with some of the guys.
I saved what we’d done so far on the computer and got up to head on home. Lee wouldn’t be back for ages and I didn’t really want to stay here alone.
I made my way outside and heard noises coming from the garage. I wandered around, pulling the front door closed behind me, and saw the door half open. I heard the clank of metal and the slight crackle of a radio interfering with the music playing.
I ducked under the door. ‘Noah?’ I asked, looking around the empty garage, even though I knew it was him.
There was a rattle, and he suddenly appeared from under his car lying on a skateboard, oil stains on his face and arms and shirt, and some kind of tool in his hand.
‘Oh, hey,’ he said. ‘I think I just heard Lee leave.’
‘Yeah, there’s some baseball player at the mall so he ran off. We were working on posters for the d
ance.’
Noah groaned. ‘I hate all these crappy school spirit events.’
‘It’s optional, you know.’
‘Yeah, not so much for the football team,’ he muttered. ‘It’s like with the Carnival. It’s “strongly encouraged”, but we all know that we’ll end up having to sit on the sidelines for a game if we don’t make an appearance.’
I laughed. ‘I can’t believe they’d actually do that.’
‘They’re all about image, this damn school,’ he muttered.
‘Which is why you’re still there?’
He smirked. ‘Hello, have you met me? Perfect grades, great footballer . . . They overlook a couple of fights for that. Especially when I never actually start the fights.’
I just rolled my eyes at him.
‘So are you and Lee going to the dance again?’ he asked as he slid back under the car. I didn’t bother to ask what he was doing; I wouldn’t understand anyway.
‘No. He’ll go with Rachel.’
Noah slid back out again to give me a concerned look. ‘Then who are you going with?’
‘I don’t know,’ I admitted.
The look on his face told me he’d probably threaten to beat up the first guy to ask me, but I pretended not to notice.
‘It’s a masquerade, by the way,’ I said.
‘It is?’
‘Yup.’
He nodded and went back under the car. That was one thing that annoyed me about Noah – most of the time I couldn’t even guess at what he was thinking. Whereas with Lee, we could finish each other’s sentences and tell exactly what the other was thinking – well, except for this whole Noah situation. That was just a lucky fluke . . . or he was choosing to ignore any signs of something going on.
But Noah . . . Noah was like a Rubik’s Cube. An impossible puzzle, but one I didn’t want to give up on just yet because it was too compelling, too enticing.
‘Well, if someone asks you, say no.’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘I don’t want you going with any idiot who’s gonna try something, got that?’ His voice was a little muffled, what with the music and the metallic clanking, but I could hear the command in his voice. ‘If someone like that Dixon guy asks you – as a friend – then fine, if you want to, say yes, but—’