"Oh, yeah," Eva said, nodding. "It's a good wow."
Riley scooted over to sit next to her, cupped her face with both hands, and pulled her to him. Just before their lips met, Eva saw it, exactly the way she'd always pictured it.
In that moment Eva Farrell learned what it meant to have a dream come true.
"Deborah."
Oh, that was not good. That tone was never good. Debbie stopped with her foot on the bottom stair and turned slowly to face her father. She lifted her chin and tried not to look like her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest. He stood in the doorway of his study, holding his glasses in his hand, down by his side. How
262
was it possible that he seemed to be twice the size he had been yesterday?
"Come in here, please," he said.
On unsteady ankles, Debbie followed her father into his office. The sherwani suit still hung over the window, blocking the light from the streetlamps, but the note was gone. Her father had read the note.
For once in her life, Debbie wished she had paid attention when her mother was teaching her all those prayers to Buddha.
"There is something I need to give you," Debbie's father said, his back to her as he walked behind his desk. From a stack of papers he pulled out a large, white envelope. Before handing it to her, he looked down at the address and sighed, but when he reached out to give it to Debbie, there was a small smile on his creased face.
Debbie's mouth went dry when she saw the return address. The package was from FIT. And it was very thick.
"Where did this come from?" Debbie asked.
"It came in the mail yesterday," her father told her, sitting down in his leather chair. "About five minutes after your dramatic exit."
Hands shaking, Debbie turned over the envelope and ripped it open. Catalogs and pamphlets and paperwork and a subway map clattered to the floor, but Debbie held in her hand the only thing she needed. The letter.
Dear Ms. Patel,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded a
263
full scholarship and placement in the Fashion Institute of Technology class of. . .
"I got in," Debbie said, under her breath. She looked up at her father, clutching the page. "I got in."
"I see that," her father said, looking down at the mess on his floor. "FIT. That's a fashion design school, I believe."
Debbie had never felt such elation and unadulterated fear at the same time. She wasn't sure her body could handle such contradicting emotions. She had a sudden vision of herself fainting to the ground just as Mandy had the night before. Or exploding into a million tiny pieces.
"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, Dad, it is."
Her father nodded slowly, looking again at the floor. An eternity seemed to pass before he looked up at her again. She had no idea what he was thinking.
"Well, then, I think that's exactly where you should be."
Debbie's heart thumped once as if to punctuate his words.
"Are you serious?" she said.
"Am I ever not serious?" he asked, smiling.
Debbie screeched and jumped into her father's arms before he even had time to stand up.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Debbie asked, pulling back from him.
Her father turned and plucked his suit from the drapery bar. He laid it reverently down on top of his desk and fingered the fabric, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger.
"You may be good at the sciences, Deborah, but this. . ."
264
He looked up at her, his eyes gleaming with pride the way Debbie had been longing to see them. But this time it was even better. This time they were shining over something she was proud of too. Something she wanted to do.
Her father reached out his free arm and hugged her to his side. "This," he said, "is art."
As soon as Mandy's mother walked into her hospital room on Monday afternoon, Mandy instantly noticed the change. There was some color in her mother's face, and something about the way she was carrying herself was different. She looked a little more together, a little more energetic than she had for the past couple of weeks.
"Hey, sweetie," her mother said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. Mandy had adjusted the electric bed into a seated position for lunch and was still propped up. Her mother leaned back and inspected her quickly. "You look much better."
"I was just thinking the same thing about you," Mandy told her. "What's up?"
Her mom put her purse on the floor and sat down on the edge of Mandy's bed. "I have some good news," she said, beaming at her daughter.
"You're kidding," Mandy joked. "What's that again?"
"I know. It's practically a miracle," Mandy's mother told her. Mandy smiled. It was nice to joke with her mother again. It would have been an almost normal moment if she hadn't been sitting there in her pj's with a tube in her arm. "I
265
spoke to Jim Morrow this morning, your father's accountant?"
"Yeah . . . ," Mandy said.
"He called to tell me that your college account is completely protected," her mother said. "Your father put it solely in your name, so the IRS can't touch it. As of your eighteenth birthday, it's all yours to do whatever you want with it."
Mandy could barely allow herself to believe what she was hearing. "But I turned eighteen on Saturday."
"Exactly," her mother said with a smile. "Jim said he'll be happy to meet with you as soon as you're feeling better so you can sign the paperwork."
"You're kidding," Mandy said, sitting forward. "Wait. . . so I can still go to Princeton?"
"Yes, you can still go to Princeton," her mother said, beaming.
Mandy reached out and hugged her mother, laughing and crying at the same time. Her mother gripped her back tightly and rocked her back and forth. But Mandy was only able to revel in the moment temporarily. She pulled away from her mother abruptly and looked into her eyes.
"But wait, aren't we going to need that money?" Mandy asked. "I mean, are we going to have to move? What if we need it to pay for a place to live?"
"That's not your responsibility," Mandy's mother said. "Let your father and me worry about that."
"But Mom--"
"Mandy, all your father and I have ever wanted was for you to have the future you dreamed of," her mother said,
266
tears in her eyes. "You're going to have it. That money is yours and we want you to use it for school."
Mandy's eyes welled up and she looked down at her mother's hands, which covered hers. Her mom's diamond rings were gone and Mandy wondered what she'd done with them, but she didn't ask. Her mother and father still wanted to protect her and for the moment, Mandy didn't mind being protected a bit. She'd had enough reality in the past few weeks to last her a lifetime.
She'd do what her parents wanted her to do. She'd go to Princeton and ace everything and graduate a star. Then she could start protecting them.
"Okay," Mandy said, sighing blithely. "If you want me to go to Princeton, I guess I'll go to Princeton." Like it was such a chore.
Mandy's mother laughed and hugged her again. "That's my girl." She leaned back and pushed Mandy's hair behind her ears. "And when you're ready, you can go visit your father and tell him that."
Slowly Mandy nodded. The very thought of seeing her father behind bars hollowed her out inside, but she knew she would do it. Whatever her father had done, he still cared about her. He still loved her. And she loved him. If there was one thing Mandy had learned over the past couple of weeks, it was that people made mistakes. Lots of them. She couldn't go through life if she couldn't forgive.
"Okay," Mandy said with a nod and a smile. "I will."
267
Chapter 27
Kai stood in the guidance office waiting room on Monday afternoon, watching the clock as the scholarship panel finished up their last interview. Her pulse was racing with excitement and determination. She knew her friends would think she was crazy f
or doing what she was about to do, but she had to do it. If she didn't say something now, it would be too late. The second Marni Raab walked out of the conference room, Kai grabbed the door and barged right in. The five teachers and administrators were packing up their things and looked up, surprised to find Kai standing before them with a clear sense of purpose on her face.
"Kai! Here to give us your purity essay?" Mr. Simon asked.
"No," Kai said, standing in the center of the room before their long table. "No, I'm not."
268
Ms. Russo and Mrs. Labella exchanged a look. "Ms. Parker, is everything all right?" Ms. Russo asked, her forehead wrinkling.
"No, it's not," Kai said, taking a deep breath. "I've got something to say to you people and I'd appreciate it if you'd just give me a few minutes of your time."
For once Mr. Simon didn't laugh. He sat back in his seat with the rest of the panel and they all watched her expectantly. Kai hesitated for a moment. And then she jumped right in.
"All right, here's the thing--I don't think it's right for you guys to make us prove to you how pure we are," Kai told them. "What we do in our personal lives, that's our business. And you know what? Our definitions of purity are our own business too. This Treemont lady, she was clearly out of her mind. I mean, where does she get off putting something like that in as a requirement for a scholarship? What is she saying? If we've had sex, we're unworthy of succeeding in life? Well, that's bull and we all know it!"
Kai paused, waiting for someone to interject, but the teachers just looked back at her. In all the scenarios she'd imagined coming out of this speech, she'd never thought she'd be met with silence.
"Do you people have any idea what you've put us all through with this thing?" Kai continued. "You've got friends lying to friends, you've got people regretting decisions that were made years ago that can't be taken back.
269
Everybody's totally stressed out, rethinking this and questioning that. Everybody's completely confused because of this stupid scholarship."
Mr. Simon leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. "I hear you, Kai, but don't you think that this is a good thing?"
"That what's a good thing?" Kai asked.
"That this scholarship has got people thinking . . . questioning, as you say. I happen to think people should be confused about this topic. It's not a simple thing."
Okay. Kai swallowed hard as she considered this. He's got me there. "Okay, yeah, but I still think it shouldn't be a requirement for a scholarship," she finished, feeling lame.
Coach Davis took a deep breath and leaned forward, her hands clasped on the table in front of her. "The truth is, Kai, we happen to agree with you."
Kai's heart took a little leap. "You do?"
"Yes, we do," Mr. Simon told her. "Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it. We have to award the scholarship based on Mrs. Treemont's specifications."
Kai deflated slightly. "I understand," she said. "But in that case, I'd like to withdraw my name from consideration."
"Are you sure about that?" Coach Davis asked.
"I am," Kai said, nodding. She'd made this decision and she was going to stick by it. She didn't want to participate in a scholarship that had turned her and all her friends
270
into secret-keeping, backstabbing, confused crazy idiots.
"Well, good," Coach Davis said.
"Good?" Kai asked.
"I was going to practice in a few minutes to tell you that there were some scouts at the game last week and they're coming back to see you play in the finals," Coach Davis told her. "You play as well as you did in the semis and I don't think you'll have any problems getting financing next year."
Okay, this she definitely hadn't expected.
"Really?" Kai asked, her voice jumping about two octaves. A volleyball scholarship? She could play volleyball next year and get paid for it? She'd known she was good, but not that good.
"Really," Coach told her, standing up.
Then Kai narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute, which schools?"
Mr. Simon laughed, and the panel continued packing up their stuff. Coach Davis came around the table and hooked her arm around Kai's neck, leading her out of the room.
"We'll talk about it after practice," she told Kai.
"No, wait a minute, which schools?" Kai asked as she stumbled along next to her coach, hoping these places were in close proximity to the slopes or the beach. Or both. " 'Cause I have some very strict requirements about where I wanna be next year. . . ."
* * *
271
Debbie dimmed the lights in Mandy's hospital room, Kai lit the candles, and Eva placed the cake on the table that swung over Mandy's bed. Mandy grinned, her eyes glowing in the candlelight as her friends whisper-sang the "Happy Birthday" song to her so as not to attract any attention to the complete fire code violation.
"Okay. Make a wish," Eva told her, grinning.
Mandy closed her eyes. There were so many things to wish for, choosing seemed like bad luck, so she decided to take her chances and just blew out the candles.
Her friends applauded and Debbie flicked on the lights as Eva took the cake away to cut it.
"So when the hell are they springing you from this place?" Kai asked, plopping onto the bed and causing Mandy to bounce up and down slightly.
"Tomorrow. But I'm not coming back to school until next week," Mandy told them.
"Lucky," Debbie said.
"You're gonna miss states," Kai told her.
"I know," Mandy said. "So you're gonna have to kick a little ass in my name."
"Not a problem," Kai told her, crooking her arm behind her head to stretch her triceps muscle. "I am a volleyball goddess."
Mandy rolled her eyes as Debbie handed her a piece of cake and a plastic fork. They all gathered around the bed and dug in. Mandy smiled, knowing the others were just as happy to see them all back together as she was.
272
"I have news," Debbie told them, licking icing from her fork. "I got into FIT."
"You're kidding!" Eva blurted, probably the first words she'd said to Debbie since Saturday.
Debbie flushed as she looked at Eva.
"I knew it!" Mandy said brightly. "Didn't I tell you?"
"Yeah, but the question is, is she going to FIT?" Kai put in, her fork poised above her plate. They all gazed at Debbie, waiting for the answer.
"Yep," she said giddily. "I'm going."
Eva and Kai jumped up and hugged Debbie, knocking a slice or two of cake to the floor. Debbie sat in her chair, cringing as they smothered her but smiling as well.
"That's amazing, Debbie," Eva told her as she pulled away. I guess I have news too," Eva said, bending to clean up the mess. Her skin darkened from her forehead down to her neck. "Riley and I kissed," she told the floor.
"What?" Mandy said above her. "When? Where? How?"
"Um . . . last night," Eva told her, standing up with her hands full of messy paper plates. "And then again after school today . . . and then out in his car when he dropped me off here . . ."
"Omigod! You little vixen!" Kai said.
"I know," Eva said, tossing the plates in the garbage can. "I'm a wanton woman."
"I'm really happy for you," Debbie told her as Eva sat back down on the other side of Mandy's bed.
"We all are," Kai said. "Sheesh. It was about time."
273
"I know," Eva said, smiling. "I mean, I know you're happy for me. And it was so about time."
"Well, as long as we're spilling, I have something to tell you guys that you already probably know," Kai said, slapping her hands on her thighs. "I am going to resign as president of the V Club because I am not, in fact, a virgin," she announced, looking right at Mandy.
"Andres?" Eva asked.
"Andres," Kai said with a nod.
"Lucky shit," Debbie said, shaking her head in awe at Kai.
"Yeah, that's all relative," Kai told them. "But anyw
ay, this means Mandy can take over as president," she added, reaching out and rubbing Mandy's knee through the blanket.
Mandy took a deep breath and laid her half-eaten piece of cake on the table next to her bed. She pushed her hands into the mattress and sat up straighter, looking from Debbie to Eva to Kai.
"Actually, I don't think that's the best idea," she said.
"Why not?" Debbie asked.
Mandy smiled, her heart pounding, and shook her head. "Because if actual virginity is the prerequisite for a V Club president, then I don't really qualify anymore."
There was a prolonged moment of silence as this statement sank in, and then the room exploded.
"Omigod! You guys did it?" Debbie screeched, jumping up from her chair. " When? Why didn't you tell us?"
"I can't believe it," Eva said. "Where? What was it like?"
274
"We are just dropping like flies," Kai lamented, shaking her head.
Mandy's friends gathered around her as she told the story--the true and somewhat heartbreaking story of her first time. It hadn't been perfect, but she knew now that imperfection was okay--part of life, even. And for the first time in her life, Mandy Walters was realizing that she could live with imperfection.
But as her friends sat and listened and lamented and laughed and hugged and comforted and cajoled and hoped, Mandy realized that even with all that imperfection, there were still perfect moments.
And this was one of them.
275
Chapter 28
"Dude, Pennsylvania is, like, arctic," Kai said, kicking back in the booth at the Ardsmore Diner, her bare leg hanging out into the aisle. "Well, maybe if you didn't wear shorts in November," Debbie pointed out, rolling her eyes.
"Hey, I didn't need fashion advice from you last year, and I don't need it now, even if you're FIT's star pupil," Kai deadpanned. "Besides, these things are everywhere in LA.," she added, admiring her cargo cutoffs.
"Right. And it's also about fifty degrees warmer there," Mandy said, munching on a french fry.
Kai was staying with Mandy and her mom in their new, smaller, but still nice house for the Thanksgiving break while Kai's parents were in Australia for a few months. Ever since she'd stepped off the plane from LA. that afternoon, Kai had been shivering, but she still