Rachel sat on her bed and looked at the heaping mess that surrounded her, and began to fold her clothes and put them into her tiny closet. She had snuck into Sarah’s room after school to see it, and had been shocked at how much bigger it was: her closet was at least twice the size.
As Rachel hung up the last dress, she began to wonder why her phone had not received any calls or texts all afternoon. She turned it off, and then back on, assuming it was broken.
It still flashed No New Messages. Her head fell: maybe Dana and her crew had forgotten her.
She bent down to pick up some pictures strewn about the floor and looked again at the picture of her and Dana hugging. Even though her tear mark had ruined it, she hung it on her wall anyway.
Rachel tried to re-create her old room in her new house. The layout was different, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t hang up all the same pictures, posters and awards she had won. She carefully unrolled her Avril Lavigne poster she had won at the Dutch Fair two years back. She loved Avril Lavigne, especially the song Girlfriend. She then tacked up all four corners on the wall behind her bed and stood back to make sure it looked straight.
She took all the felt junior varsity letters that she had received from her soccer, tennis, volleyball and dance teams, and hung them on the wall beside her bed. She had four letters, and she hung them in a square shape. As she stepped back to look at them, she felt a sense of pride. She had earned each and every one of those letters.
Rachel also had received a certificate for the math league at her old school. She had won first prize for the article she’d written for their Pennsylvania school newspaper about the school Book Fair and had won an award for the work she had done on her biology plant study in 9th grade. Not to mention, Rachel was on high honor roll each semester and had four high honor roll certificates that she hung all these on her wall as well.
She stepped back and looked at the display. Her wall was now a shrine to her many talents and for a moment, as she stood impressed by herself, she forgot she was in a new house and starting a new life.
She took another step back and tripped over a small folded up JCPenney’s bag. She opened it up and was delighted to find her new boyfriend jeans. She lifted them out of the bag and started thinking about what to wear with them to school the next day.
As she walked over to her stack of graphic tees, she heard her mom’s voice yell, “Kids, time for dinner! Come on down.”
She heard Mark and Sarah’s door slam shut a few seconds later and the sounds of their feet racing down the hallway.
Rachel opened her door to the smell of roast chicken filling the air. Rachel loved roast chicken, one of her favorite meals her Mom cooked.
When Rachel got downstairs, she saw mashed potatoes, corn and gravy, too. My favorite, Rachel thought to herself.
She didn’t want to let on that she was happy about the meal, though, and sat down in her hard wooden chair without cracking a smile.
Rachel sat there scooping food onto her plate, quietly eating as Sarah and Mark raved about their first days. Listening to them blissfully describe their day in detail, Rachel wondered if they were at different schools. She couldn’t understand how Mark and Sarah both had picture-perfect days.
“So, Rachel, how was your first day? her dad asked. “You’re awfully quiet over there,”
Rachel looked up from her plate, swallowed her bite of corn and said, “Fine.”
“She didn’t make any friends, she’s a loner,” Mark said with a laugh from across the table.
“Shut up,” she retorted.
“Honey, is that true?” her mom asked in a sympathetic voice.
“No. Mark doesn’t know anything.”
Rachel’s mom changed the subject and turned towards her dad and said, “So how was your first day at the office, love?”
“Couldn’t have been better. I unpacked the office, and started right into it,” he replied.
Rachel’s dad was a computer IT guy who worked for IBM. Basically, he fixed broken computer systems. He had been transferred to the IBM headquarters in Armonk, New York, because of the bad economy. His office in Pennsylvania had gone bankrupt and he either had to be transferred or was out of work. It was an easy decision for him, because he couldn’t be without a job, especially with three kids and a wife at home-- not to mention, the three looming college tuition fees that lay around the corner. So, the family had all packed up and moved to Bedford with only a few weeks’ notice.
“Oh good, I’m so glad it was an easy transition,” their mom replied.
As Rachel heard all the positive remarks coming from each of her family members, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was really related to these people.
Are these really my mom and dad? Are those two balls of excitement my siblings? Rachel thought of all the various possibilities to explain this. Maybe she was adopted? It would only seem right. She was nothing like these people she called her family.
Despite these feelings of alienation, Rachel knew she wasn’t adopted. She had been part of every family video and had seen pictures of her being born in the hospital. This made her even madder inside. Why was she so different?
Rachel cleared her plate, put it in the sink, and started for the stairs.
“That’s not where that goes, get back here and clean your plate,” Rachel’s mom yelled. “We are not your personal maids, clean up after yourself.”
Rachel stomped back into the kitchen and looked at Sarah’s plate that had been placed right next to hers in the sink.
“But Sarah left hers in the sink,” Rachel said.
The front door slammed shut as Sarah left the house.
“Sarah went to go meet a friend in town and she was running a little behind,” Rachel’s mom said.
“It’s not fair,” said Rachel as she cleaned her plate off and put it in the dishwasher.
When Rachel got back into the comfort of her bedroom, she lay there breathing heavy, her head face down in her pillows. All her emotions were flooding her body, and she began to cry. She sat up and reached for a tissue and saw her cell phone on the nightstand. She flipped it open. No new messages.
Rachel grew even sadder. She couldn’t understand why nobody from Pennsylvania had reached out to her. Rachel scrolled down her lists of contacts and clicked Dana’s name. She started writing a text.
Hey, how was your day today? Did you see Alex? What was he wearing?
Rachel placed the phone back onto her nightstand and waited. Dana always had her phone glued to her body and never missed a call, text or email.
A few minutes went by with no reply and Rachel’s heart dropped.
Rachel went over to her desk and took out her purple, velvet diary. She held it up to the key on her necklace, and opened the lock.
Dear Diary,
Today was awful. I hate AHS, I hate Mr. Allen and I hate my family. I didn’t make one friend and I never will. Nobody even knows I exist. Dana is ignoring me, too. I feel alone.
I did see a cute guy in school – Rob Greene. He plays football. He obviously hasn’t noticed me yet, but we are in the same homeroom. I hope he notices me tomorrow. He’s the hottest guy ever and has the biggest muscles. He’s perfect. Not that he would ever go for a girl like me.
I’m dreading tomorrow. I hope it won’t be a repeat of today.
Oh, and I have cheerleading tryouts tomorrow. Wish me luck!
XOXO,
Rachel
As Rachel locked her diary back up her phone buzzed.
One New Message:
Dana: Hey, can’t talk-super busy-call you tmw.
Rachel shut her phone, feeling even more depressed. She put her head back on her pillow and fell asleep.
Chapter Five