Page 22 of The Breakdown


  ‘He is very bad, no?’

  ‘Yes,’ I agree. ‘But I don’t think it belongs to my friend. Maybe he took it from someone else.’

  She calls over to him and after a quick conversation in French, where everybody around them seems to be nodding in agreement, she turns back to me.

  ‘Si,’ she says again. ‘Yes. She push past him and he took it from her bag.’ She looks anxiously at me. ‘If you want, I give it to the man at the bar.’

  ‘No, it’s fine,’ I say, taking it. ‘Thanks. I’ll make sure she gets it. I hope your friend hasn’t taken anything of mine,’ I say, frowning at her.

  ‘No, no,’ she says hurriedly.

  ‘Well, thank you.’

  She goes back to her friends and I turn the phone over in my hand, still not convinced it belongs to Rachel. It has to be one of the most basic pay-as-you-go models on the market. Did John give it to her? It feels as if everything’s crumbling around me and I don’t know who to trust, not even myself. I flip the phone open and go into the list of contacts. There’s only one number registered. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I’m really going to dial it. I feel like a stalker but I’m not even sure it’s Rachel’s phone and, anyway, I don’t need to say anything, all I need is to listen to the voice at the other end.

  Feeling sick with apprehension, I call the number. It’s answered immediately.

  ‘What the hell are you phoning me for? I thought we agreed only for texting.’

  Even if I had wanted to speak I wouldn’t have been able to. Because suddenly, I find it impossible to breathe.

  It’s the noise of the French students getting up to leave that brings me back to reality. I look down at the phone in my hand and realise that, in my shock, I’ve forgotten to hang up. The call has been timed out anyway and, my mind racing, I try to work out if, during those couple of minutes when the line was still open, anything incriminating could have been heard. But the person on the other end would only have been able to hear the sounds of the voices around me, not the frantic beating of my heart. Anyway, maybe he had hung up long before then, because he must have realised something was wrong.

  My coffee arrives and I gulp it down quickly, aware that Matthew will be wondering where I am because in my note I hadn’t mentioned meeting Rachel, I’d only said that I was going out to buy a phone. I walk quickly to the car and hide Rachel’s phone at the back of the glove compartment. I want to get home as fast as possible but nothing in the world will make me go back via Blackwater Lane, so I put my foot down, thinking about what I’m going to say to Rachel when she calls, as she surely will.

  ‘I know you left me a note but I didn’t expect you to get back this late,’ Matthew grumbles as I walk into the kitchen. He gives me a kiss.

  ‘Sorry, I met Rachel for a quick drink.’ The room is cool compared to outside and smells faintly of toast.

  ‘Ah, that explains it. Did you get yourself a new mobile?’

  ‘No, I wasn’t sure which one to buy but I promise I’ll get one tomorrow.’

  ‘We can look at the different models on the Internet, if you like,’ he offers. ‘By the way, Rachel phoned. She asked if you could call her back.’

  My heart skips. ‘I’ll do it in a minute. I need a shower first, it’s so hot out there.’

  ‘It sounded pretty urgent.’

  ‘I suppose I’d better do it now then.’

  I fetch the phone from the hall and bring it back through to the kitchen.

  ‘Wine?’ Matthew asks, as I dial her number. The bottle is already open so I nod, the phone to my ear.

  ‘Hello, Cass.’ It’s the first time I’ve heard Rachel sound agitated, although she does her best to hide it.

  ‘Matthew said you called,’ I say.

  ‘Yes, look, do you know if anyone found a mobile after I’d left the pub? I think I might have dropped it somewhere.’

  ‘You can’t have because I’m phoning you on it,’ I say reasonably.

  ‘It wasn’t my phone, it was a phone that I was looking after for a friend. It might have fallen out of my bag or something.’

  A friend. The word sits heavy on my mind. ‘Have you phoned the Spotted Cow to ask if anyone handed it in?’

  ‘Yes, they don’t have it.’

  ‘Wait a minute – was it a little black one?’

  ‘Yes, that’s it. Do you know where it is?’

  ‘Probably halfway across the Channel by now. You know that group of French students who were sitting near us? Well, after you left they were mucking around with this little phone, throwing it to one another and trying to grab it off each other. I didn’t really take much notice because I thought it belonged to one of them.’

  There’s an appalled silence. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes. They were making fun of it because it was one of those really basic models. That’s why I’m not sure it’s the one you were looking after for your friend,’ I add doubtfully. ‘Nobody really uses them any more.’

  ‘Do you know if they’re still in the pub? The French students?’

  The thought of her racing all the way back to Castle Wells is savagely pleasing.

  ‘They were when I left. They looked pretty settled in for the night,’ I say, safe in the knowledge that they’ll be long gone by the time she gets there, as they were already making moves when I left.

  ‘Then I’d better go and see if I can get it back.’

  ‘Good luck, I hope you find it.’

  I put the phone down, relieved that I managed to pull it off.

  ‘What was all that about?’ Matthew frowns.

  ‘Rachel lost a phone in the pub and some French students took it,’ I explain. ‘She’s on her way there now to try to get it back.’

  ‘Right,’ he says, nodding.

  ‘What do you fancy eating tonight? How about some steak?’

  ‘Actually, Andy phoned and asked if I’d like to go to the pub for a pint. You don’t mind, do you?’

  ‘No, go ahead. Will you get something to eat there?’

  ‘Yes, don’t worry.’

  I stretch my arms over my head, yawning. ‘I’ll probably go to bed early, in that case.’

  ‘I’ll try not to disturb you when I come in,’ he promises, fishing his car keys from his pocket.

  I watch him as he walks towards the front door.

  ‘I love you,’ I call after him.

  ‘I love you more,’ he says, turning to smile at me.

  I wait until the car has pulled out of the drive and then I wait a little longer, just to be sure. And then I run out to my car and get the mobile, the one Rachel told me she was looking after for a friend.

  Back in the house, I go into the sitting room and sit down, shaking so much I can hardly open the phone. I go into the text messages and look at the last one she received, just before she left the Spotted Cow.

  Tues 19.51

  Hang on in there

  End in sight, I promise

  I scroll up to the one before, the last one that Rachel sent, probably from the ladies’.

  Tues 19.50

  False alarm, she had nothing of interest to say I’m leaving now, really fed-up.

  Beginning to wonder if it will ever end ☹

  And the ones before that, earlier this evening.

  Tues 18.25

  Let me know what happens

  Tues 18.24

  Job done, seeds of disrepute planted

  I asked him to tell the head, so hopefully they’ll take root Waiting for her to arrive.

  And then the rest of the messages for today, starting with the first one that morning.

  Tues 10.09

  We have a problem

  When I phoned this morning she said she knew I wasn’t murderer

  Tues 10.09

  Wtf?

  Tues 10.10

  Didn’t sound frightened either

  Tues 10.10

  What you going to do?

  Tues 10.10

  Phone back
r />   Wear her down, like before

  Tues 10.52

  How goes it?

  Tues 10.53

  She’s refusing to pick up

  Tues 10.53

  Sure she hasn’t gone out?

  Tues 10.53

  Pretty sure

  Tues 10.53

  Keep on trying

  Tues 10.54

  Will do

  Tues 16.17

  Guess what? She just phoned, wants to chat Any ideas?

  Tues 16.19

  Maybe to do with calls I made this morning Find out everything you can

  Tues 16.21

  Have arranged to see her in CW

  I’ll already be there for J so will kill two birds with one stone

  Then I realise I’ll get there much faster if I scroll to the very beginning of the messages. And I see that they start on 17 July, the night I drove down Blackwater Lane and saw Jane in her car.

  17 Jul 21.31

  Receiving clear?

  17 Jul 21.31

  Yes ☺

  17 Jul 21.31

  Good. Remember, no phoning, only text me at work, or when you know she’s not around

  Important that you keep this phone on you at all times I’ll check in with you every evening when she’s asleep

  17 Jul 21.18

  It’s going to be hard not seeing you for next few months

  17 Jul 21.18

  Think of the money

  If she had given you some, it wouldn’t have come to this Now we get it all

  17 Jul 21.18

  It is going to work, isn’t it?

  17 Jul 21.19

  Of course. Look how well it’s worked already She already thinks she’s forgetting things

  And that’s only small stuff, wait until we really start messing with her head

  17 Jul 21.19

  Hope you’re right. I’ll send her text about Susie’s present later

  If she falls for it we’ll be home and dry

  *

  18 Jul 10.46

  Good morning!

  Just to let you know she’s on way to meet you

  18 Jul 10.46

  Ready and waiting

  Did she say anything about Susie’s present?

  18 Jul 10.47

  No but she seemed on edge

  18 Jul 10.47

  Let’s hope my text did the trick

  Did you hear about local woman murder?

  18 Jul 10.47

  Yes, awful

  Let me know how it goes

  18 Jul 12.56

  Omg it went like a dream!

  Thought I should warn you she’s on her way home

  18 Jul 12.56

  Already? Thought you were having lunch together

  18 Jul 12.56

  She lost her appetite ☺

  18 Jul 12.57

  It worked that well?

  18 Jul 12.57

  Couldn’t have gone better, she had total meltdown

  18 Jul 12.58

  She really believed she forgot about present?

  18 Jul 12.58

  Told her she was the one who suggested it

  Brilliant watching her pretending she remembered!

  Is the money ready, because she’ll check

  18 Jul 12.58

  160 in drawer

  18 Jul 12.59

  Bingo!

  It takes me about an hour to read through all the messages and get back to where I started, with the last message Rachel sent from the Ladies’ toilet in the Spotted Cow. Most of them are read through eyes blurred with tears and some remain seared in my brain long after I’ve moved on to the next. They alone are enough to start me on the road to the truth, a truth I’m half scared to face because I know it will destroy me. But when I remember what I’ve been through for the last three months, and that I’m still standing, I realise that I’m stronger than I think.

  I close my eyes, wondering when Matthew and Rachel first began their affair. I think back to when they first met, about a month after Matthew appeared in my life. I was already in love with him and was desperate for Rachel to like him, yet they hadn’t really hit it off. Or so it had seemed at the time. Maybe there had been an instant connection between them, and they had been cool with each other to hide it. Maybe they had become lovers not long after, before Matthew had even married me. It’s terrible to think that my marriage to Matthew might have been nothing more than a sham, a means for him and Rachel to get their hands on my money. What I want to believe is that he truly loved me and that his desire for my money only came after, and that it was Rachel who planted the seed in his head. But for the moment, it’s something I don’t know.

  I get slowly to my feet, feeling as if I’ve aged a hundred years in the last couple of hours. Rachel’s phone is still in my hand and I know I have to hide it before Matthew comes back. He isn’t out with Andy, he’s out with Rachel, helping her look for the little black mobile that holds so much incriminating evidence. I scan the room and my eyes fall on the orchids lined up on the window sill. My mobile is still hidden under one of the plants. I walk over, lift a different plant out of its pot, place the phone in the bottom and put the orchid back. And then I go to bed.

  *

  It’s only when I hear Matthew’s car pulling into the drive that I realise the danger I’m in. If Rachel and Matthew have managed to trace the French students, they’ll know I have the phone. I throw the covers off me and leap from the bed, hardly able to believe that I came up to bed instead of taking the phone to the police. But I had been in such a daze, and so distraught, that I hadn’t been thinking straight. Now it’s too late. Without my mobile, and the house phone downstairs, I have no way of calling them.

  The sound of the car door slamming propels me into the bathroom, looking for something to defend myself with. I fling open the cupboard; my eyes fall on a pair of nail scissors but they don’t seem enough of a weapon. Matthew’s key rattles in the lock and, in a panic, I grab a can of hairspray and run back to the bedroom. Climbing into bed, I slide the hairspray under my pillow, easing off the top off as I do so. Then, lying down facing the door, I close my eyes and feign sleep, my hand gripping the hidden can tightly. And like ticker tape running through a machine, the text messages hurtle through my brain.

  20 Sep 11.45

  I’m bored

  20 Sep 11.51

  Why don’t you drop in and see coffee machine in action New one in place

  20 Sep 11.51

  Really?

  Thought you didn’t want us meeting up

  20 Sep 11.51

  Willing to make an exception

  Also need you to dig

  20 Sep 11.51

  For what?

  20 Sep 11.52

  Why she’s OK at weekends when she’s crashed out during the week

  20 Sep 11.52

  OK, what time?

  20 Sep 11.53

  2 p.m.

  20 Sep 23.47

  Big risk kissing me in hall this afternoon

  20 Sep 23.47

  Worth it

  Find out anything?

  20 Sep 23.47

  She doesn’t take her pills at weekends

  Doesn’t want you to know how much they affect her

  So hides them in drawer

  Which means she only gets the 2 you put in her orange juice

  20 Sep 23.49

  Did she say which drawer?

  20 Sep 23.49

  Bedside

  20 Sep 23.49

  Hold on, going to check

  20 Sep 23.53

  You’re right, found 11

  Have a brilliant idea

  20 Sep 23.53

  You’re getting me excited

  20 Sep 23.54

  Will use them for overdose

  20 Sep 23.54

  No!!! You can’t!!!

  20 Sep 23.54

  Make it seem like suicide attempt, make her seem unstable

  20 Sept 23.55

  What if they
kill her?

  20 Sept 23.55

  Our problem would be solved

  But they won’t. Will research properly, don’t worry

  I hear his soft tread on the stairs, and with each step he takes, my heart thumps a little louder; the beat of a drum heralding his arrival. As he comes to a stop at the foot of my bed, it reaches a crescendo and I can’t believe he can’t hear it, or see my body shaking underneath the quilt. Surely he can sense my fear, just as I can sense him standing there looking down at me. Does he know I have the phone? Or am I safe, at least for another night? The waiting becomes unbearable, then impossible. I stir slightly and half open my eyes.

  ‘You’re back,’ I mumble sleepily. ‘Did you have a good time with Andy?’

  ‘Yes, he sends his love. Go back to sleep, I’m going for a shower.’

  I close my eyes obediently and he leaves the room. And as his footsteps disappear down the hall, the ticker tape of messages continues to scroll through my brain.

  21 Sep 16.11

  We have problem

  She knows you were in the house earlier

  21 Sep 16.11

  How?

  21 Sep 16.11

  Don’t know, have called police

  21 Sep 16.12

  What? Why?

  21 Sep 16.12

  Because she wanted me to

  Would have looked suspicious if I refused

  Going home now, hope I’ll be able to cover for you

  21 Sep 23.17

  Can you get back to me asap

  Really worried, need to know what happened this afternoon

  21 Sep 23.30

  Don’t worry, all OK

  21 Sep 23.30

  How did she know I was there?

  21 Sep 23.30

  You put her mug in dishwasher

  She noticed

  21 Sep 23.31

  Did I? Don’t remember

  21 Sep 23.31

  Who has eod now?

  21 Sep 23.31

  You seem very cheerful considering near miss

  21 Sep 23.31

  Everything has worked out for best

  21 Sep 23.32

  How’s that?

  21 Sep 23.32

  After police left I told her she was paranoid and eod She stormed off, took 2 pills

  21 Sep 23.33

  So?

  21 Sep 23.33

  So will add 13 in drawer to orange juice tomorrow morning

  + 2 she takes

  Total 15

  + 2 already in bloodstream

  Should be enough

  21 Sep 23.34

  You mean it’s really going to happen?