I feel terrible. I should have understood how devastated Rachel felt at being left out of Dad’s will. How could I have been so insensitive? Yes, I had bought her the cottage, but only because I’d been there when she’d fallen in love with it. Would I have thought of gifting her some of the money if she hadn’t seen the cottage? Maybe. I hope so.
And why hadn’t I given her the cottage straight away, the minute I bought it, instead of keeping it for her birthday so that I could make a big thing out of it? For the last eighteen months, the cottage has stood empty, unused. If I had given it to her, she would have been so happy. I might still have Matthew, and Jane would still be alive. At the very least, I should have told Matthew about the cottage. If I had, and if he and Rachel had already embarked on their affair, he would have told her about it. She would then have waited patiently for her fortieth birthday, and then, once she had her cottage, Matthew would have divorced me and, more likely than not, tried to get some money out of me in settlement. I would have lost Matthew – but Jane would still be alive.
I don’t know what it was that made me stumble unwittingly on the truth about Jane’s murder. Maybe it was my subconscious – maybe the look of surprise on Jane’s face when she saw Matthew outside the restaurant window that day had registered in my brain as a flash of recognition. Maybe her invitation to have coffee at hers had registered as something more than just a casual suggestion to meet up again. Maybe, somewhere deep down, I had known that Matthew and Rachel were having an affair, maybe, somewhere deep down, I had known that Jane was going to tell me. Perhaps it was just pure and simple luck. Or maybe, when I’d sat in the lay-by yesterday and had felt Jane’s presence, she had led me to the truth.
*
It’s almost another hour before PC Lawson stands up to leave.
‘Does Matthew know?’ I ask, as we walk to the front door together. ‘About Rachel?’
‘No, not yet. But he soon will.’ She turns on the doorstep. ‘Will you be all right?’
‘Yes, thanks, I’ll be fine.’
As I close the front door behind her, I know that I won’t be, not yet. But one day, I will be. Unlike Jane, I have my whole life ahead of me.
Copyright
HQ
An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd
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First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2017
Copyright © B A Paris 2017
B A Paris asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Ebook Edition © January 2017 ISBN: 9781474050661
B. A. Paris, The Breakdown
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