“Thank you,” Nancy said. “I’ve always liked her.”
“But not as much as me, right?” Lauren said, and Nancy gave her an admonishing look that was also amused.
“They make a gorgeous couple, don’t you think?” Lana said, looking back and forth rapidly between Ava and Russell, who both shrank down into their seats.
The fact that Lana Markowitz thought she and Russell belonged together felt to Ava like the final nail in the coffin of her almost-relationship with the guy. The woman was five and a half feet of solid bad judgment.
“Imagine how cute the grandchildren would be,” Lana added.
“Adorable,” Nancy said, “but if I’ve learned anything over the past couple of decades, it’s that we parents don’t actually have much control over any aspect of our kids’ lives, starting with toileting and continuing on to pretty much everything else, and especially not their love lives.”
“But isn’t that the shame of it?” Lana said. “We could choose so much better for them than they choose for themselves.”
Russell raised his hand. “On behalf of the entire younger generation, I’d like to say that we appreciate your faith in us.”
She shook her head at him, smiling. “Oh, you. You know what I mean. You can’t deny you haven’t made a complete mess of it all with your marriages and divorces and Lord knows what in alimony payments, and have you even learned anything from it all?”
Russell said, “No. I can’t deny that. I can’t even parse it.”
“Don’t you think Ava would have been a much better choice?” Lana said. “And don’t go giving your father any credit for it—it was me and Nancy who came up with that idea, wasn’t it, Nancy?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it was,” Nancy said with a slightly apologetic glance at Ava. “But only as a passing joke. Who’d have thought we’d all end up sitting around our table talking about it decades later?”
A burst of a loud, unintelligible song interrupted the conversation. “Oops,” Lauren said. “That’s me.” Her cell phone was lying next to her plate. She picked it up and looked at the screen. “It’s Briana.”
“Oh, how is she?” Nancy said at the same moment that Jimmy said, “Phones do not belong at the table when we’re eating.”
“I’ll call her back later,” Lauren said, pressing a button and putting her phone back down. “We’re supposed to go for a hike later this afternoon.”
“But you made plans to go hiking with me this afternoon,” Russell said to Lauren, and Ava’s heart gave a little painful hop. So that was the plan they had been making on the phone.
But Lauren seemed confused. “I did? Really?”
Russell grinned. “Nah, just joking.”
“I would have believed you,” Lauren said with a good-natured laugh. “I’m always messing up plans and double-booking.”
“I’ve noticed,” he said. “Hence the joke.”
Ava looked back and forth between them. So that wasn’t the plan they had been making on the phone? What was, then?
“I’m going to make some more coffee,” Jimmy said, pushing back from the table. “Who wants another cup? Lana? Russell?”
Everyone said yes to another cup except for Lana, who said that she was cutting back on caffeine—“I’m jittery enough without it—at least that’s what my doctor says”—and Nancy, who couldn’t stomach coffee at all at the moment and had been drinking hot tea with lemon.
After Jimmy had left the room, Lana laid her hand across Nancy’s pale wrist. “There’s something I need to say.” Everyone waited while she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened her eyes again with a flutter of her heavily mascaraed eyelashes. “Nancy, I want you to know that I completely understand why you behaved the way you did back when things were so hard for me. I want you to know that I understand and I forgive.”
Nancy looked down at the slashes of red lying across her arm. She said slowly, “I’m sorry. You forgive me for—?”
“You know.” Lana’s fingers flexed slightly so her fingernails dug gently into Nancy’s skin. “For cutting me off when I needed my friends the most. Believe me, you weren’t the only one. So many of my friends abandoned me after the divorce. And I was angry at first—I have to be honest and tell you that. I was just so hurt and lonely. With all I was going through those years, a phone call would have meant so much—” Her fingers relaxed and she tapped their tips lightly on Nancy’s wrist. “But then I realized that none of you really understood the whole situation. In a way, it was my fault for always being so circumspect—maybe I should have confided in people more about what was going on, how he treated me . . .” She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s easy to have hindsight. And of course I had to protect my boys. That was first and foremost. I couldn’t say anything that might have come back later to haunt them.”
“He didn’t beat you,” Russell said. “You’re making it sound like Dad beat you or stuck you in a closet or something. He didn’t. He didn’t,” he repeated to the rest of the room with a slight edge of desperation. The Nickerson women all nodded sympathetically.
“I never said anything like that at all.” At least the interruption had made Lana take her hand off of Nancy’s arm. For some reason, that was a huge relief to Ava. “All I’m saying is things went on in that house that no one outside of it could know about.” She turned back to Nancy. “So of course you had confused loyalties. And later I realized you had also completely cut off my ex—never saw him anymore either—and let me tell you, that went a long way toward helping me forgive and forget.” She sat back in her seat and flattened her hand expressively against her half-naked chest. “And today has completed the healing process. I feel whole again, thanks to you and your beautiful family and the warm welcome you’ve all given me this morning.”
“Mom,” Russell said.
“What?” She looked at him, her hand still glued against her chest.
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Nancy said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you during that difficult time, Lana. I really am.” She looked awfully tired, Ava thought, with a sudden flash of anger at Lana for wearing her mother out.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Nancy,” Russell said. “We weren’t even living here then. We moved, Mom,” he said to Lana. “You can’t blame people for not calling when you move out of town.”
“Phones work long-distance, if I remember correctly.” She removed her hand from her chest and daintily smoothed out a wrinkle in the tablecloth. “And I’m not blaming anyone for anything. That’s my point. All is forgiven, all the wounds are healed.”
“Oh God,” Russell said and actually put his head in his hands. “Like these people need your forgiveness. Like anyone in the world needs Lana Markowitz’s forgiveness.”
“Someday, you’re going to want exactly that,” she said. “You’ll want it more than anything else and just because of moments like this one—because of all the moments when you dismissed and belittled me—it will be too late.” She appealed to Nancy. “It’s life’s great tragedy, isn’t it? That we don’t value our parents until they’re dead and gone and nothing can ever be fixed.”
“Oh God,” Russell said again.
Nancy said, “Oh, don’t be so sure of that, Lana. Look at us. My girls have been absolutely wonderful through my whole illness, helping out in any way they can. I don’t wish an illness on you, of course, but I’m sure that your boys would be there for you in a second if you needed them.”
“I’d have to be dying for them to pay any attention to me,” Lana said.
“The temptation right now is to suggest it’s worth a try,” Russell muttered.
“You’re so lucky you had girls,” Lana said to Nancy.
“I am,” Nancy said. “But if I had a son like Russell, I wouldn’t throw him out.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at her and then pushed back his chair. “Mom, we should go.”
“It feels lik
e we just got here,” Lana said and waited. When no one urged her to stay longer, she said, “But of course we shouldn’t overtire you, Nancy. You have to promise me, though, that we’ll do this again next time I’m in town.”
“Of course,” Nancy said, a little feebly.
Lana picked up her fork. “Just two more bites of my melon,” she said gaily, “and I’ll be on my way.”
“Come on,” Russell said to Ava, with a jerk of his chin toward the door. “I need to talk to you before we go.”
Everyone stared at them both, and Ava flushed, but it seemed more awkward to protest than to comply, so she excused herself from the table and followed Russell into the front hall while the others settled back down at the table—although, now that she thought about it, her father still hadn’t returned from making the coffee, which seemed a little suspicious. How long could it take to measure out a few tablespoons and pour some water?
A few steps outside the dining room, Russell halted, and so Ava did, too. He took her gently by the shoulders and turned her a little this way and that, eyeing her clothing, until she broke away, annoyed. She was wearing an old, loose pair of jeans and a Catalina Island T-shirt that had been a giveaway at her law firm’s annual retreat. “You’re not wearing any of the clothes I gave you,” he said. “I’m disappointed.”
“It’s Sunday morning.” She had abandoned her plan to wear the shimmering dark pink top when Lauren had gotten the call from him. She wasn’t going to dress to please a guy she didn’t even trust. “The clothes you gave me were pretty fancy.”
“I know. But I wanted to see you in all your glory.”
“There was no glory. Just me in nicer clothes.”
“That’s glorious,” he said. “From where I’m standing.”
Lauren emerged from the dining room and joined them. “Sorry to interrupt,” she said, “but I’ve reached my limit. Your mother’s a pain in the butt, Russell. No offense.”
“Lauren!” Ava said.
“What? I said no offense.” She was wearing a miniskirt with her go-go boots and a long top that was cinched by a narrow belt. She had pinned her hair up in an elaborate, puffy bun that Ava knew for a fact had taken her twenty minutes in the bathroom to perfect.
Russell certainly didn’t seem offended. He laughed and said, “Did you see the clothes I gave Ava? Weren’t they great?”
“They’re awesome,” Lauren said. “When do I get to go get some?”
“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?”
She pouted. “I just want my fair share.”
He shook his finger at her. “You dumped us for the evening. If you hadn’t, you could have gotten some free loot too. That’ll teach you to blow people off.”
Lauren made her eyes wide and innocent. “I wanted to go. It’s not my fault my friend came in that day.”
Ava took a step back. They didn’t need her for the conversation. But Russell noticed her retreat.
“Hold on,” he said. “Don’t you start going anywhere. I need to show you something.”
“What?” It annoyed her that Lauren was grinning like she knew what he was talking about.
“Come here.” He took her by the arm. “Cover for us, will you, Lauren?” he said over his shoulder. He steered Ava toward the front door and through it. “Think we could just make a run for it?” he said as he slammed it behind them. “My mother’s plane leaves tomorrow at seven. If I could just hide somewhere until then—” He stopped.
“Then what?” Ava asked.
“I might actually keep my sanity.” He was moving them forward, down the walkway, still holding on to Ava’s arm in a way that was more authoritarian than romantic. “But it’s probably too late for that, anyway.”
“Where are we going?” she asked. “I should help clean up.”
“Why are you always in such a hurry to get away from me?”
“I’m not.”
“Anyway, we’re here.” They stopped at the side of his car and he dropped her arm. He got his keys out of his pants pocket and circled around to the back of the car, where he opened the trunk. Ava drew nearer to see what he was doing. He extracted a box and handed it to her. “For you.”
“Shoes?” she said, examining the box. “Prada shoes?”
He nodded, brown eyes glowing with anticipation. “Open it up.”
She took the lid off, pushed the tissue paper aside, extracted a shoe, and held it up. It was a black pump—shiny because it was patent leather—with squared-off toes and a touch of silver at the ankle. The heel was stacked and at least three inches high. “Wow,” she said, for want of anything better to say. She would never have picked the shoes out for herself—the heel was too high, the toe too unusual, the price, she suspected, too steep.
Russell was watching her face eagerly. “I know you like pumps,” he said. “So I thought I’d get you a pair to wear with those pants I picked out. They’ll go fine with your work clothes—they’re pretty sedate. But also fashionable.” He nudged her arm briefly. “I thought about getting you a pair of leopard-print stilettos, but I didn’t want to push you too far too fast.”
“They’re very pretty,” she said, staring at the shoes.
“I asked the saleswoman for help. I described you.”
“Yeah? What’d you say?”
“That you were a lawyer, a little on the conservative side but ready to branch out.”
She wasn’t sure he was right about that last bit, but let it pass. “How did you know my size?”
“Oh, I can tell a girl’s shoe size with one glance,” he said airily.
“Really?”
He winked. “Nah. I asked Lauren.”
Realization dawned on her. And with it, the knowledge that she was a complete idiot. “Was that why you called her on Tuesday?”
“You knew?” he said. “I told her not to tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise.” He scowled. “Trust Lauren to mess it up.”
“She didn’t. I just saw your name on the caller ID. She tried to keep it a secret and—” She stopped, realizing how stupid she’d look if she told him that she thought he and Lauren had been planning some kind of secret tryst. “She didn’t tell me about the shoes,” she said. “They’re a complete surprise.”
“Oh, good.” He hesitated, watching her, but when she didn’t speak again, he said, “So . . . do you like them?”
“I do,” she said slowly.
“You need new shoes,” he said. “To go with your whole new look.” He tapped on the shoebox. “You’re a diamond in the rough, Ava. I’m going to mold you into something beautiful.”
“You don’t mold diamonds.” She struggled to keep her tone light despite the hurt his casual comment had just inflicted: he didn’t think she was beautiful already; he thought she needed to be changed. “They’re like the hardest substance on earth.”
“Yeah, but you can grind them down with other diamonds.”
“Is that what this is?” She let the shoe dangle from her fingertip. “Are you grinding me down?”
He laughed. “I guess so.”
“To what end?” She wondered if he could hear the genuine pleading in her voice.
He didn’t appear to. “It will make our married life so much more pleasant,” he said jovially. He leaned down to kiss her.
Ava jerked her head away from his. “We should go back.”
He peered at her. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” She moved away, out of the circle of his arm, and busied herself packing the shoes back up. “Just worried about my mother. She looked exhausted.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, immediately contrite. “I’m sorry—I should get my mother out of here.”
As they walked back up to the house, she could feel him watching her and knew that somehow she had disappointed him, that her reaction to his gift wasn’t what he expected or wanted. Fine, she thought. Being told I need to be ground down and altered to be at all appealing to you isn’t what I expected or wanted, so we’re even.
/>
“By the way,” he said with an edge to his voice, when he was opening the door for her, “you’re welcome. For the shoes.”
She muttered a toneless “Sorry—thanks,” and they walked in the front door just as Nancy and Lana emerged from the dining room. Ava quickly dropped the shoebox on the floor and pushed it to the side with her foot.
“I hope I didn’t stay too long,” Lana was saying. “It’s just so hard to tear myself away now that we’ve reconnected.”
“It was a treat to have such a nice long visit,” Nancy said, but her smile looked effortful. “Jimmy?” she called, looking around for him. “Come say good-bye to our guests.”
Jimmy emerged from the family room with a newspaper section tucked under his arm, closely followed by Lauren.
“Coffee brewed yet?” Nancy asked her husband sweetly as he joined them.
“Almost,” he said with only a trace of a smile.
“You have to tell me who your decorator is.” Lana tilted her head back to look up at the hanging light fixture in the foyer. “Your house is so pretty. I’ve been wanting Russell to do more with his little cottage—warm it up a bit. He did all the decorating himself, you know, and it’s such a bachelor’s pad. Or I guess I should say a divorced man’s pad. Oh, look at those beautiful curtains!” She stepped toward the living room, but Ava quickly interposed her body and said firmly, “It was so nice of you to come.”
“Our pleasure.” Russell tugged on Lana’s arm. “Come on, Mom. Let’s go.”
“It was lovely seeing you all,” Lana said, clasping her hands as she batted her eyelashes at each of them in turn. “Really lovely. Your girls are absolutely beautiful, Nancy. What a wonderful family you have! You’re very, very lucky.”
“I am,” Nancy said. “I really am.”
Lana made kissing noises near everyone’s cheek. “I feel like the past has been exorcised,” she said. “Not ‘exercised,’ but ‘exorcised.’ You hear the difference, right?”