“That was pretty awful,” Christy agreed.
“Do you remember what you said to me in front of the koala bears at the zoo?”
“In front of the koala bears? No, I have absolutely no idea what I said to you in front of the koala bears.”
“You made me promise you something. You said, ‘Promise me you won’t let Rick use you.’”
“I don’t remember that.”
“Well, I do, because your advice cut me in half. I knew that’s what I had done with you in the beginning. I had used you to get to Rick. I confessed it to God right then and got my heart right with Him, but I was too chicken to confess everything to you and ask you to forgive me. But I want to ask your forgiveness now, Chris. I’m so sorry.”
“Katie, I forgive you. Please don’t worry about that. It was complicated, like you said. I never held any of this against you.”
“I know you didn’t. But I still had to get it off my chest. You have this way about you, Christy. You open your heart, and you make people feel as if they can mosey on in, take off their shoes, and stay awhile. That’s what I did back in high school and, well, here we are. Still friends.”
“Best of friends,” Christy echoed.
“I guess a couple of peculiar treasures like us don’t come along every day, do they?”
“Definitely not.” Christy paused before adding, “And a God-lover like Rick Doyle doesn’t come along every day, either.”
Katie stared at her hands.
“Let me pray for you. For us.” Christy placed a comforting hand on Katie’s shoulder and thanked God for what He had done in their lives in the past and for what He was doing now and would do in the future. She prayed for wisdom for Katie and Rick and for direction for Todd and her.
Katie prayed, as well. They hugged and both cried a little. Then Katie went to the laundry room, where she found a plastic pitcher and filled it with water for her flowers. It was almost two in the morning when Christy finally coaxed Katie to turn out the light.
In the dark stillness of their room, Katie said, “I didn’t tell you one other thing.”
Christy was almost asleep and didn’t think she could handle any more surprise announcements or confessions.
“We haven’t kissed yet,” Katie said simply.
Christy opened her eyes and stared across the dark room at Katie’s bed. All she saw was the silhouette of Naranja’s top curve.
“Rick told me he made a promise to God that he would clean up his act in that area. He wanted me to know, as our relationship progressed, that he would be taking it really slow in physical expression. I think that’s a good choice. For him. For us. It takes a lot of the pressure off, you know? Well, I just thought I’d tell you. Good night.”
“Good night.” Christy rolled over on her side. Now she was wide awake with not-so-pleasant memories of when she had dated Rick, before his act was cleaned up. Christy was fifteen. She was trusting and inexperienced. Rick was direct and expressive. She knew that the handful of kisses Rick had stolen had been part of what she forgave him for a long time ago. As the unsettled feelings now tried to come back and torment her, she reminded herself that it was in the past. It was forgiven. Forgotten. Erased from God’s book. Buried in the deepest sea.
A saying came to mind. “When the enemy comes knocking on a door you closed long ago, you just call out, ‘Jesus, it’s for you!’”
Christy smiled. She pulled up the covers to her chin and let Jesus answer the door while she floated off to dreamland.
Three weeks later the saying came to her again. This time Todd heard the enemy knocking on a door he thought he had closed long ago.
It was the evening of Todd’s graduation. Christy’s parents, her brother, her aunt and uncle, and Todd’s dad all had come to cheer for him when he received his diploma. Christy took a roll of film of Todd in his cap and gown and handed her camera to David to take several shots of Christy and Todd together. Katie, Rick, Sierra, and a bunch of other friends came from school. Christy made sure they all posed in a group picture with her favorite graduate.
Afterward, a group of eleven family and friends went to a steak house in town. Todd’s dad treated them to a fabulous dinner in a private room. The day had been filled with cheers, laughter, and applause. Christy thought it couldn’t have gone better.
Yet, as Todd drove Christy back to the dorm, she could tell he was upset or sad about something by the way his shoulders slumped. Christy reached over and gave his arm three squeezes. A slow grin of appreciation came to his face. He glanced over at Christy.
“You know,” he said, turning his attention back to the road, “I thought she couldn’t hurt me anymore. I thought I was over it. But when my mom called yesterday and said she wasn’t coming, I found myself remembering every important event in my life she’s missed. She was really never there for me. Ever.”
Christy felt her heart go out to him.
“Except when I was born, of course.” He lightened his tone, as if trying to make a joke. “I guess that one was mandatory.”
During the past month, ever since Christy had tried on her mom’s wedding dress, she and her mom had become closer than ever. They spoke on the phone almost every day and were working closely together on all the wedding details. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have a mother who would call at the last minute to say she found it “inconvenient” to come to Christy’s college graduation.
“I was thinking about that quote you told me a few weeks ago about asking the Lord to answer the door when the enemy comes knocking,” Todd said. “I guess that’s what I need to do in this situation. It’s a door of hurt and disappointment that I shut long ago when I forgave her. It’s not a door I should open again.”
“It might be,” Christy said cautiously.
“What do you mean?”
“You know how last week in our premarital counseling session Pastor Ross said we should feel free to discuss with him any areas of our lives that we think might be a challenge after we’re married? Well, I think this might be a challenge for you, for us, for the rest of our lives. It might help to talk openly to someone about it.”
“Maybe,” Todd said.
“Do you think your mom will come to our wedding?”
“I don’t know. In a way, I don’t know if I want her there. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’d almost rather have Bob and Marti sit in the front row where my parents normally would sit.”
“I’m sure they would be honored if you asked them. I know they both feel like you’re a son to them. But what about your dad?”
“I asked him to be my best man.”
“You did?” It was the first Christy had heard of it. She had listed Doug as Todd’s best man in the wedding planner, but then she didn’t remember Todd and her ever talking specifics. She had just assumed.
“Is that allowed in the world of wedding etiquette? Can you have your dad stand up as your best man?” Todd pulled into the parking lot behind Christy’s dorm and parked the Volvo.
“I don’t know. We keep saying it’s our wedding, so I guess we can do whatever we want.”
“My dad always has been there for me. He’s the first person I thought of. I want him to stand beside me.”
“Okay,” Christy said. “I think that’s great.” Her mind was busy rearranging details that had been penciled in her notebook. “You and I should set aside some time this week to work on our plans. My aunt gave me some wedding invitation samples today.”
“I saw her hand them to you. Do you like any of them?”
“Not really. I’d prefer it if you and I could go to a stationery store and look at more samples together. We have to decide on the wording, and Marti said that she arranged for an artist friend of hers to address the invitations in calligraphy, but she needs six weeks to do them. The invitations need to be sent out six weeks to a month before the wedding. If it takes a month to print them, we’re almost out of time already.”
“You’re s
tarting to sound panicked,” Todd said. “There’s no need to panic. We can go sometime this week, just not on Monday. That’s when I start my new job.”
“What new job?”
“Painting houses.”
Christy didn’t try to hide the shocked expression on her face this time. “What job painting houses?”
“I didn’t tell you?”
“No.”
“A guy at church asked if I wanted a part-time job helping him paint houses since the position at church is only part time until June. I told him I could start as soon as I graduated. It’s only thirty hours a week.”
“Todd, that’s a lot.”
“The money is good. We need it, Christy. I can work flexible hours around my schedule at church. It won’t interfere with our counseling sessions on Tuesdays, and I have weekends off. Are you sure I didn’t tell you about this?”
“I think I would remember.” Christy adjusted her position in the passenger’s seat. “This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about last week at counseling when Ross asked if I felt any areas needed to be addressed right away. You don’t tell me things, Todd.”
“I thought I told you about this job.”
“I don’t remember ever hearing about it until this minute.” Her voice was elevating. “And this is the first time you said anything about your dad being your best man.”
“I didn’t think it would be a problem,” Todd said. “We have plenty of time before the wedding to do all this planning.”
“Not if you’re going to be working sixty hours a week!”
“It’s not sixty hours. It’s thirty for the painting job and twenty at church.”
“Todd, you work more than twenty hours a week at church. You’re there for meetings and on call whenever one of the teens or a parent wants to talk to you about something. Like last week when you never showed up for dinner because you took some of the guys skateboarding and ended up talking to one of them until eleven o’clock.”
“That’s how youth ministry goes sometimes. He had a lot of questions about God.”
“I know.” Christy tried to pull herself down a notch and be more understanding. “And that’s what you’re good at. I just want to make sure I’m still on your list of priorities once you start working a second job.”
“You’re at the very top,” Todd said.
“Then you give me a time when we can look at invitations this week.”
Todd seemed to be flipping through an invisible calendar in his mind. “What about next Saturday. I could meet you after the men’s prayer breakfast at church.”
“Next Saturday is the soonest you could go with me?”
“You could go by yourself or with Katie or somebody and find what you like and then show it to me. I don’t have a strong preference on the invitations.”
Christy felt herself about to boil over. Usually she swallowed her frustration and went along with whatever Todd suggested. Not this time. If she was going to learn to communicate with her future husband, it would be now or never.
“No, Todd!” she spouted. “I don’t want to go shopping with Katie or my mom or anyone else. This is our wedding, and you need to participate in the planning. It makes me so mad when you sit back and expect me to do everything!”
“Okay, okay!” Todd held up a hand, as if to hold back the force of her words. “When do you want to go shopping for invitations?”
“I don’t know,” Christy said sullenly. She didn’t like the way she felt right now. “Saturday, I guess, if that’s the soonest you’re available.”
“Okay,” Todd said. “Saturday. Around eleven. Is that okay with you?”
“Fine.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Christy drew in a deep breath and tried not to burst into tears.
Am I going to have to wrestle you to the ground on everything that’s important to me for the rest of our lives, Todd? We have to communicate better. I’m still mad; you’re mad. When do things get better for us instead of worse?
11 The first week of February turned out to be one of the worst weeks of Christy’s life but, strangely, I I one of the best weeks, too.
On Monday she started classes for her last semester, only to find that one of the classes she needed to graduate had been cancelled. To take the class at the only other offered time meant readjusting her work schedule at the campus bookstore. She was cut back from twelve hours a week to eight, which meant less money.
On Tuesday, Todd didn’t show up for their second premarital counseling session at church. He left a message with Pastor Ross saying he couldn’t break away from his painting job and to please tell Christy he was sorry, but he would be there for sure next Tuesday.
Christy was stuck at church because she had gotten a ride there with Katie and then expected Todd to take her back to school. She decided against staying with Pastor Ross and discussing anything because she was so mad at Todd, she was certain she would later regret anything she said in the counseling session. She hadn’t figured out how to express her feelings without exploding in a burst of pent-up fury.
Being too upset and too proud to ask for a ride back to campus, Christy decided to walk the five miles. She had walked everywhere during her year at school in Switzerland and felt certain the trek would help her to release her anger. All it gave her were blisters and more anger toward Todd for putting his job above her.
She rehearsed all kinds of conversations she planned to have with Todd once he showed his face. None of them were pretty.
To make matters worse, Todd didn’t call her Tuesday night. Since he had moved in with Rick the day before he graduated, each time Christy called, she got Rick’s voice mail. Finally she gave up and went to bed early. Katie was at work, and Christy was too upset to do homework or to embroider her wedding dress bodice.
Wednesday morning the phone rang at 6:30. Christy was certain Todd was calling with an apology. But it was her mom, and her voice was low.
“Grandpa passed away last night,” she said. “He had been complaining of stomach pains, and Grandma took him to the hospital yesterday afternoon. He died while they were doing exploratory surgery.”
Christy already felt drained. This news sent her into a flood of tears. She loved her grandparents and suddenly regretted that she hadn’t seen them since their fiftieth wedding anniversary back in Wisconsin the summer after she graduated from high school.
Marti called an hour later and said she had plane tickets reserved for Todd and Christy to attend the funeral on Saturday.
Friday night Todd and Christy took a red-eye flight with her parents, her brother, and Bob and Marti. They landed at O’Hare airport in Chicago at five o’clock in the morning. Their connecting flight to Madison left at six. After renting a van, they drove through a light snowstorm for three hours, arriving in Christy’s hometown of Brightwater, Wisconsin, only a half hour before the funeral.
Christy and Todd hadn’t talked about their unresolved tension. She was still upset with him, but those feelings had been set aside to deal with the grief of her grandfather’s death.
Todd was the perfect gentleman as he met Christy’s relatives for the first time. She knew her grandma was taken with him, even in the midst of her grief and shock.
Marti was on a mission to stay in Wisconsin until she had grilled every doctor and hospital staff member involved in caring for her father. She was certain his death was unnecessary and the result of human error. Instead of grieving her father’s death, the way Christy’s mom was, Marti was fighting for justice.
“It won’t bring Grandpa back,” David said as they stood around in the living room at Grandma’s house after the funeral.
Everyone stared at him. David wasn’t the sort to speak up in a group about anything.
“It will make things right,” Marti declared. “And that’s important in this world.”
“But Grandpa isn’t in this world anymore. He’s in heaven,” David said. “You’ll see him again if you give
your life to the Lord like I did.”
Christy stared at her little brother. He sounded just like Todd. She could tell David’s evaluation of the situation was the last thing Marti wanted to hear. She made a swift exit. Christy wasn’t surprised to see Todd follow Marti. While Todd talked to Marti, Christy prepared to leave.
The rest of her family planned to stay in Brightwater until Monday, but Christy and Todd had a flight back that night so Todd could be at church in the morning. The snow had stopped, and Christy’s grandma said she was certain the main roads would be plowed so they should make it to the airport just fine.
With their brief visit almost over, Christy wanted to have a special moment with her grandma. She drew her grandmother into the hallway, took her hands, and spoke condolences softly, telling her grandma how much she loved her.
“Thank you, precious. And thank you for coming all this way.”
“I wish we could stay longer.”
“No,” Grandma said. “There will be so much commotion here for the next few days. Todd and you will have to come another time to see me when you can stay for a nice little visit. I would like that.”
“You will come to our wedding in May, won’t you?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything. You have a real gem there, Christina. I’m happy for you both.”
“Thank you, Grandma.” Christy gave her grandmother’s cool hands a squeeze. “Do you have any advice for me? For us?”
Christy was remembering her grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary party when she had asked them how they had met and how they had known they were right for each other. Her grandfather had offered some advice about making sure they came from the same background. Grandma, however, had told Christy to wait until things were difficult and then to ask herself if she still wanted to spend the rest of her life with this person.
That thought had come back to Christy several times during the past week while she was mad at Todd. She knew she still wanted to spend the rest of her years with him. She just wanted to get along better with Todd.