“Never mind. I’ll just have an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich and a milk.”
Todd repeated her order and drove up to the window.
“Are you okay?” Todd asked.
Christy tucked her hair behind her ears and glanced at his handsome face. How can I explain to you all the intense feelings colliding inside me for the past hour? I’m afraid that if I say anything, I’ll be sorry later and hammer myself to pieces for making a big deal out of nothing.
“I’m okay,” Christy said in a low voice.
Todd paid the employee at the open window and handed the food to Christy. She was going to ask if he wanted to park the car so they could eat, but he turned left onto the main road, and she knew where he was headed. The call of the wild that always beckoned to Todd was the ocean. They were less than a mile from where the blue Pacific ran to meet the California coast. Christy knew she should have guessed that was why they had driven all this way for breakfast burritos. Todd wanted to eat their first breakfast as an engaged couple on the beach.
Only Todd didn’t head for the beach. He turned toward the freeway.
“Are we going back to school?” Christy asked.
“No, I just thought we could share our breakfast.”
Share our breakfast? What’s he talking about?
Todd pulled the car to the side of the road under the freeway overpass and grabbed one of the large orange juices.
“Can you hand me two of those burritos?” he asked Christy. Then, leaving the engine running, Todd jumped out of the car and took the food to a homeless man huddled under a cardboard box. She hadn’t noticed the guy when they had exited the freeway, but obviously Todd had.
As Christy watched Todd smile and offer the hot food to the surprised man, her heart beat a little faster. A troubling thought settled on her like an ominous shadow. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with a man who is given to random acts of impulsiveness. I’m never going to know where we’re going or what we’re doing or with whom we’ll be sharing our meals. Nothing will be predictable about our life together. Nothing orderly or steady or sure.
Christy swallowed hard. Todd was jogging back to the car wearing a wide grin of contentment. She tried hard to press a welcoming smile across her face to greet him, but in her heart, all she could think was, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.
2 Todd turned the car around and drove to the beach, where they parked and carried their breakfast over to a large, smooth boulder. Christy ate slowly, her eyes fixed on the endless ocean stretched out before them. She could feel Todd’s gaze on her. Because they had sat together many times at the ocean without exchanging words, the silence felt familiar and had a comforting effect on her. Folding up the uneaten half of her breakfast sandwich, she let out a deep breath.
“Does it scare you?” Todd reached over to brush his fingers across Christy’s cheek.
“Does what scare me?”
“Getting married. Or more specifically, marrying me?”
Unnerved at how Todd could read her thoughts, Christy threw up a smoke screen. “Why do you think I’m afraid?”
Todd traced the rim of her ear with his finger and didn’t answer. She knew he was waiting for her.
“We don’t think the same way,” Christy blurted out.
“No, we don’t.”
Christy leaned her cold cheek against his warm hand. She decided to go ahead and hook a few of her fishy feelings onto the end of the line he patiently was holding over the deep waters of her heart. “Todd, I’m afraid that being married is going to be hard.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“It will be a gigantic adjustment for both of us. We’re opposites in so many ways.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“You approach life differently than I do. You see things differently. I don’t think the way you do.”
“That’s okay.” Todd stroked her hair. “I don’t see our differences as a problem.”
“Of course you don’t! That’s my point. What’s major to me is minor to you.”
“I think our differences are good,” Todd said. “We balance each other out.”
“I think our differences will make it harder for us.” Todd lifted a handful of her long hair and brushed the ends across his lips.
“Todd, I don’t think you and I know each other as well as we think we do. We have a lot of adjustments ahead of us.”
“And a whole lifetime to work on them.” Todd pulled her toward him so her head rested on his shoulder. In a calm voice he said, “Learning about each other and working through the adjustments are part of what makes a relationship alive and growing. I’m looking forward to that part of our future.”
“I’m not,” Christy heard herself say. “I think we’re going to drive each other crazy. I’m so determined to have everything organized, and you’re so spontaneous and so, so . . . random!”
“Yeah, I guess I am. What was it Katie called me a couple of months ago on our camping trip?”
“You mean when you brought plastic hangers instead of metal ones because you didn’t realize I wanted to use them to roast marshmallows?”
Todd nodded.
“Katie said you were ‘detail impaired.’”
Todd laughed. “That’s right. And Matt told her it wasn’t nice to discriminate against people who have disabilities.” He drew Christy’s head down till it rested against his chest.
“You know what I think?” Todd asked. “I think we all have disabilities or areas where we’re impaired. You help me where I’m weak, and I help you where you’re weak. That’s what makes us strong together.”
Christy wrapped her arms around his middle and cuddled up close. With a sigh she said, “I don’t know, Todd. I hope you’re right. Katie says I have a ‘tidiness’ issue. She says I have to have everything in place all the time or I’m not happy.”
Todd chuckled.
“Do you think she’s right?” Christy pulled back and looked into Todd’s face.
“I think God brought us together so I could learn the rewards of being spiritually disciplined from you and so you could learn the joys of walking by faith from me. We’re made for each other, Kilikina.”
Christy reached for Todd’s hand and drew it to her lips. She kissed it three times. One kiss for each of the scars that remained after the near-fatal car accident he was in that fall.
“I hope you’re right,” she said.
“I am.” Todd chuckled. He held her left hand and ran his rough fingers across the top of her long fingers. “Did you wish I had a ring for you when I proposed last night?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? Because I asked my dad if I should buy a ring for you before I proposed. He said you probably would want to choose your own. Doug told me last night about a jeweler he likes here in Carlsbad. That’s where he bought Tracy’s ring. It’s not far from here. I thought we could stop by this morning to see what they have.”
Christy drew back and examined Todd’s expression. “Is that why we came all the way to Carlsbad for breakfast burritos? You wanted to go ring shopping today?”
“Yeah.” Todd grinned.
She closed her eyes and shook her head.
“What?”
“Todd, you know you can tell me these things ahead of time, don’t you? I mean, it would have helped me to know that was why you wanted to drive down here.”
“Okay, next time I’ll tell you. See? We’re learning to adjust already.”
Todd helped her stand up, and they headed for the parking lot hand in hand. Christy felt herself warming up from the inside out as they drove into an older part of Carlsbad. She had fond memories of a jewelry store she and Todd had visited last summer when they were in Venice, Italy. It was owned by their friend’s uncle and had to be the most elegant shop she had ever been in, complete with a uniformed guard at the door and gold chandeliers.
This Carlsbad jewelry store was located next to a bakery and a bookstore and didn’t look nearly as opu
lent as the jewelry store in Venice. But what it lacked in golden chandeliers and uniformed guards it made up for in cozy ambience. Todd held open the door for Christy, and the fragrance of fresh-baked bread from the bakery next door swirled through the air.
Romantic visions of exchanging whisper-filled glances with Todd as she tried on engagement rings danced in Christy’s head.
“Morning!” Todd greeted the gentleman at the back of the shop. “Is it okay if we look around?”
“Yes, of course. If I can answer any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m Mr. Frank.”
Christy felt like a princess as Todd motioned for her to take a seat at the padded bench in front of the first jewelry case. He stood behind her and, leaning over, pointed at the most noticeable ring in the center of the case. It had a large diamond in the center and three rubies on either side.
“Look at that one,” Todd said.
“It’s beautiful. But kind of big, don’t you think? I like the smaller, simpler rings. Like that one.” Christy pointed to a gold ring with a single diamond in a plain setting. “Only not that plain. I want my ring to be unique, you know?”
“Is there anything I can show you?” Mr. Frank came their way with a key in his hand.
“I’m not sure,” Christy said quickly.
“Go ahead. Try it on,” Todd said. “That way you’ll know if you like the style or not.”
Mr. Frank reached into the case for the padded velvet display box and took out the diamond solitaire. Christy slid the ring onto her left hand; it fit perfectly. The diamond was cut boldly and raised high on four prongs. She felt her hands begin to sweat. She had read the price on the attached tag when she slipped the ring on her finger and knew it must be an exceptional diamond. And she knew she could never feel comfortable wearing a ring that cost so much.
“What do you think?” Todd asked.
The phone rang, and Mr. Frank excused himself with a polite nod, leaving Christy and Todd alone for a few minutes. Todd leaned over and planted a kiss on Christy’s unsuspecting lips.
With a chin-up gesture he asked again, “So, what do you think?”
Christy teasingly returned the chin-up gesture that had been Todd’s trademark for years and whispered, “I think you kiss pretty good.”
Todd suppressed his laughter. With a finger to his lips he whispered, “I’m serious. What do you think?”
Christy blinked her eyes innocently and said, “I was serious, too. I think you kiss pretty good.”
Todd reached over and tickled her. A burst of laughter almost escaped her lips, but she kept them pressed together until they hurt.
Mr. Frank finished his phone call. As he headed back toward them, Christy turned to Todd and whispered, “This ring is way too expensive.”
Todd took her hand and turned it so he could read the price. “That’s okay. If you like it, we can make payments. Don’t let the price hold you back.”
“It’s not just the price, it’s the ring. The style. I’ve never worn a lot of rings, but I know I’d like something smaller. Flatter. Something different.”
“Different?” Todd questioned.
Mr. Frank stood before them and began to quote more facts about the diamond’s clarity and size. “All of these rings are original designs made right here by my son and me.”
Christy took the ring off her finger and tried to keep from giggling as she felt Todd’s hand on her shoulder. If his fingers slipped behind her hair and started tickling her neck, she knew she would burst out laughing.
“Do you have anything different?” Todd asked in a controlled voice. “Anything flatter? And what did you say, Christy? Smaller?”
“Ah!” Mr. Frank seemed to enjoy the challenge set before him. “Something other than the traditional diamond. Perhaps a sapphire or a blue topaz, to match your lovely blue eyes. We have some particularly nice tanzanite.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Todd refrained from tickling her as Christy tried on half a dozen nondiamond rings, with Mr. Frank giving a comprehensive lesson on each of the stones. With each ring she began to see potential options. Her imagination exploded with ideas when she tried on a particularly colorful Australian blue opal ring. The deep aqua blue stone with its flashes of green and purple reminded her of an ocean wave. And that reminded her of Todd and how they first had met at Newport Beach. However, the ring was too large, and the complicated setting didn’t suit her.
“Do you have anything with this same sort of stone only in a smaller setting?” Christy asked. “Or even a flat setting like those bands with the diamond chips?”
“I don’t believe we do. But as I mentioned earlier, we can make anything.”
Christy was ready to design her ring right then and there. However, she glanced up at Todd before asking for paper and pencil. His expression was glazed over; he appeared to have reached his limit on looking for rings and learning the history of gemology.
“You’ve given us a lot to think about.” Christy smiled at Mr. Frank. “I appreciate all your time.”
“Allow me to present you with my card. If I may be of any further assistance, please don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you,” Christy said.
“Are you sure you don’t want to try on any more rings?” Todd asked a little too politely.
Christy couldn’t hold back her laughter any longer. She released a light giggle that floated on the air like a band of glistening soap bubbles. “I would love to, Todd, but I think I’ve already tried on every ring in the store.”
They left with Todd’s arm around her middle while he threatened to tickle her again.
“That poor man!” Christy exclaimed. “He kept looking at us like we weren’t old enough to know what we were doing.”
“I thought he was looking that way because he knew we didn’t have enough money to buy anything but the peppermints in the dish by the register.”
“Those were free,” Christy said.
“They were? Hey, let’s go back and get some.” Todd turned around, but Christy grabbed his arm with both hands and pulled him toward the car. His comment about not having enough money sobered her.
“How are we going to pay for the rings and everything else?” she asked as soon as they were in the car.
“I have some money set aside,” Todd said. He didn’t start the engine but looked at her carefully. “It’s not a lot, but my goal was to have enough for the ring, the tux, and the first three months of rent before I proposed. And I have that. Otherwise, I would have asked you to marry me a long time ago.”
“You would have?”
Todd nodded. “I wanted us to get married before you went to Switzerland, but I knew that was an important year for you, and I didn’t want to take it from you.”
Christy thought a moment. “I don’t think I would have been ready then. I don’t even know if I’m ready now.”
“Is that why you want a longer engagement?” Todd asked. “Do you need more time to be sure?”
“Oh, I’m sure I want to marry you.” Christy reached for his hand and held it with both of hers. “I didn’t mean that to sound the way it did. I’m sure with all my heart that I want to marry you. Only you. What I meant was I’m not sure I’m ready for all the adjustments and planning and decisions, like with the ring. I mean, you would think I would have an idea of what I want already, but I’ve never given it much thought. I just want it to be uniquely ours so that every time I look at it I’ll think of us. Does that make sense?”
“Sure,” Todd said. “You heard what he said. They can custom make anything you want. I’m sure you could have him put a stone like that blue one you liked into a different setting.”
“It might take a while to do that,” Christy said.
Todd flashed her a mischievous grin. “That’s okay. It’s not like we have to have the ring by January or anything.”
Christy playfully thumped him on the arm. “Todd, seriously, do you think we could pull off a wedding in less than a m
onth?”
Todd shrugged. “Hey, all we need is a ring and a minister, right? And before you comment on that, how do you feel about stopping by to see Doug and Tracy?”
“Okay.”
“Now, I like that answer.” He started the car. “Quick, clean, decisive.”
Christy settled back in her seat and thought about how much sense it made to wait until August for their wedding and about designing her own ring and about how much money they needed for rent. She thought about how many decisions they would need to make and how Todd appreciated “quick, clean, decisive” answers.
As Todd drove into a residential area where cottage-style beach bungalows lined the street, Christy came to a conclusion. “You know what, Todd? That’s going to be my goal over the next few months. I’m going to work at making quick, clean decisions.”
“You have good instincts, Christy. You should trust yourself and go with your gut feelings more often.”
She studied his profile as he pulled up in front of Doug and Tracy’s house. This man of her dreams who sat beside her had grown into a strong God-lover who was also deeply in love with her. Christy felt her heart pounding until she thought it would go zing! and fly right out of her.
“What?” Todd glanced at her as he backed their Volvo into a space along the curb.
Christy pressed her lips together, intending to keep her zingy feelings inside. But then Todd stopped the car, looped his arm over the steering wheel, and turned to her with his silver-blue eyes peering deep into the secret place of her heart. Suddenly August seemed very far away.
“Okay,” she said, following her gut instincts yet speaking in barely a whisper. “You win. January it is.”
Todd leaned closer. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”
Christy’s heart raced. Her cheeks flushed. Never had she felt so overcome with the intensity of her love for Todd. Did she dare repeat the whispered words that had escaped her heart?
“What I said was . . .”
A flicker of an image came to Christy. The two of them were pulling away with a squeal from the very curb they had just parked in front of and driving one hundred miles an hour to the first drive-through wedding chapel they came to in Las Vegas.