Fuck. Santana needed me. My little doll was sick, and I wasn’t there to take care of her. To me, hospitals meant scary sickness and death. My mother had been in and out of them countless times at the end of her life, and all I could think about was how tiny she had looked the last time she’d gone in.
“What do I need to do?” My voice shook, but not nearly as bad as my hands did.
“There is a car waiting for you outside the arena. They will get you to the airport. Once you land, there will be someone waiting to take you straight to the hospital.” Emmie sounded calm, like her usual efficient self. Not the raging bitch she had been when she’d called me earlier to rip me a new one about the picture. “I’ll take care of everything else. I don’t know how long you’ll be gone, but don’t worry about it. I can find someone to fill in for as long as you need it. Family is all that matters, kid. You go take care of yours.”
“Thank you, Emmie. I …” I didn’t know what I could say that could really convey how much I appreciated her right then. “Thank you.”
“Get home, Kale. Thank me by taking care of Santana.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
The car was waiting where she said it would be. The driver, some forgettable guy in a suit and glasses, jumped out and opened the back door for me as I approached.
“You know where we’re going?”
The guy nodded. “Yes, sir, Mr. Conway. I’ll get you there in no time.”
I slid into the car.
As the driver pulled into traffic, I tried to call Kin’s phone again. This time, she picked up.
“Kale—”
“How is she?”
There was a pause on her end, and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong, kept chanting inside my head over and over again.
“She’s resting now. The doctors are pumping meds and fluids into her as fast as they can. She’s pretty sick right now. Worse than some of the others, actually.”
I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. “I’m on my way. Thank you for taking care of her. And for calling Emmie.”
I heard her blow out a long sigh. “She’s my friend. I’d do anything for her. I’m not completely sure she’s going to be happy that I did call Aunt Emmie, but she kept asking for you.”
I wanted to explain what had really happened the night before, but it didn’t matter if she knew the truth or not. The only person who needed to know was Santana.
“I’ll call you when my plane lands.”
***
I had never flown on a private jet before. It was small, but luxurious, and got me across the country in half the time a commercial flight would have. All I could think about was getting home to Santana, of taking care of her, and telling her that I loved her.
Once we were in the air, I’d started looking up everything I could on food poisoning caused by fish. I couldn’t imagine how sick she must have been. I didn’t know what kind of food poisoning Santana had, but none of the three I researched looked particularly fun. They all resembled each other since they all caused nausea, stomach pains, and vomiting, but the worst could actually affect her blood pressure and heart rate. Hoping that wasn’t the case, I closed my eyes and prayed.
She was going to be okay. Food poisoning wasn’t a life or death thing these days. Yet, my brain kept imagining the most severe cases I had come across. People who had gotten the worst of the worst. Whose hearts had actually stopped, who had died even with medical attention.
As soon as the plane touched down, I called Kin, but it took me to voicemail after only a few rings. Cursing, I climbed into the back of the hired car that was waiting at the tarmac for me. I hoped the driver knew where to go, because no one had told me which hospital Santana was in. I had been so worried about my girl that I hadn’t even thought to ask.
Traffic was backed up on the highway. It took over an hour to get to the hospital, making it close to ten by the time I got there. I kept trying to call Kin, but it went to voicemail every time. My texts went unanswered, too.
Inside, I went into the emergency room, only to be told that she had probably been moved to another floor, along with all the other food poisoned wedding guests. With a nod of thanks to the nurse who guided me in the right direction, I headed for the elevators.
Three floors up, I stepped off to find that the floor had been overtaken by family members of those who were sick. No one gave me a second glance as I walked down the corridors in search of my girl. I heard a few people muttering something about suing the catering company, but I didn’t pay them any attention.
Nurses looked tired and harassed as they ran around, helping patients. The ones who didn’t appear to be as ill as the others were on gurneys in the halls, their loved ones sitting with them.
I went straight to the nurses’ station, but no one was there; they were all taking care of patients.
Pulling out my phone, I tried Kin’s number again, hoping that I could at least hear it ringing, even if she didn’t answer.
“Can I help you?”
I turned to find a nurse in stained scrubs walking toward me. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, and she looked like she had been working for two days straight from the tiredness I saw in her eyes.
“I’m looking for Santana Palmer. They told me downstairs that they brought her up with all the other food poison cases.”
A frown pulled at her brows as she pulled a folded and wrinkled piece of paper out of one of her scrub pockets. “Palmer?” She scanned the list. “Sorry, we’ve been swamped. This food poisoning was the biggest we’ve ever seen at this hospital. The worse I’ve ever seen, period. I’ve had to call in all my nurses who had the day off from day and night shifts, as well as pull some from other floors.”
I didn’t know what to say to her. The phone was still pressed to my ear, but Kin wasn’t answering. Surprising.
“Sorry, honey. I don’t have a Santana Palmer on my list.”
“Was she released, maybe?”
That got me a quick head shake.
“Okay, then maybe she was sent to another floor?”
The nurse twisted her lips. “There were a handful who went to other floors, most of them elderly. However, a few younger patients got hit harder than the others. They were sent directly to ICU because of the risk of cardiac arrest.” She stopped herself from saying anything more and moved behind the station. Going to a computer, she typed something, and then gave me a sharp glance. “You said Palmer, right? Santana?”
I nodded, nervousness making my hands sweat. “Yes, ma’am.”
Where would they have sent her? Was she as bad as the older folks who had gotten the very worst of it?
“Okay, you’re going to want to get back on the elevator and get off on the fifth floor. As soon as you get off the elevator, take a left and go straight to the nurses’ station. They can direct you from there.”
“Thank you,” I told her in a tight voice before doing as she had directed.
I pocketed my phone. It wasn’t like I needed it. Kin wasn’t going to pick up. I had no idea what her problem was. She was the one who had called Emmie to get me back here as soon as possible. Now that I was here, she couldn’t pick the phone up for two seconds to tell me where they were or how Santana was doing.
The elevator stopped on the fifth floor, and I turned left, which brought me right to the nurses’ station. The vibe on this floor was a lot calmer than that of the one I’d just left. The place looked practically deserted compared to the chaos of the other floor.
A nurse in her thirties lifted her head as I approached and gave me a small smile. “Can I help you?”
“I hope so.” I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “I’m looking for Santana Palmer. I was told she would be on this floor and that you would help me find her.”
Recognition filled the woman’s eyes, but they narrowed on me. “And your name …?”
“Kale Conway.”
She stood. “Give me a minute, please.”
Before I could even nod, she moved to a set of double doors, punched in a code I couldn’t see, and stepped through the now unlocked door. As she disappeared, I noticed the sign above her head. Intensive Care Unit.
The nurse was gone for two minutes, maybe less, but it was long enough for me to panic. When she returned, Kin was with her.
Relief washed through me at the sight of my friend, but the look on her face turned my blood icy. It was guarded, like she didn’t want to tell me what she needed to say. My panic was starting to choke me now as I moved forward.
“What the hell is going on, Kin?” I couldn’t keep my voice from rising or shaking, which had the nurse giving me a hard look as she stood close to Kin, like she thought I would hurt her or something. “Is Santana okay?”
Kin pushed her long red hair back from her face. “Look, Kale, I’m sorry. I probably should have just waited until Santana was feeling a little better before calling Aunt Emmie. She doesn’t want to see you.”
I would worry about her wanting to see me later.
“Why is she in ICU?”
She looked exhausted. “She had some respiratory issues. Her heart rate dropped really low, and her breathing gave the doctors a little bit of a scare, so they moved her up here. She’s doing a little better now. They’ve been able to stop the vomiting, and her stomach cramps have eased up a lot. The doctor thinks she can go home in a few days.”
Some of my panic started to ease, and I let out a relieved exhale. “That’s great. I’m glad she’s doing better.”
“I’m serious, Kale.” Kin stepped closer, putting her hand on my shoulder. “The only reason I’m back there with her is because she freaked out when they told her she would be in ICU alone. That fucked with her heart rate, so they let me, Jenna, and Angie stay with her. When I told her you were on your way, she freaked out again. She’s sick and vulnerable as hell right now. Especially after getting blindsided with that picture this morning—”
“I know she’s upset about that, but I can explain it, Kin.” I scrubbed my hands over my face.
Her brows lifted toward the ceiling. “I saw the picture, dude. It’s pretty hard to explain that kind of shit away.”
“Look, one second I was sitting on Petrova’s couch, talking to two guys from another band. Then the next, those two girls just dropped onto my lap and pulled that stunt for someone’s camera. Five seconds later, I was pushing them off me and left with Jace.”
She gave me a skeptical glare. “So, it was a setup? Someone put those chicks up to what, attacking you for a photo op that they could sell?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed, frustrated with her for not believing me. Any other time, it wouldn’t have mattered if she believed me or not. Right then, however, she was standing between me and Santana. I had to make her understand before I could see my girl. I grasped her hand. “Please, Kin. I would never hurt her. She’s my entire world. I love her.”
She couldn’t mask her surprise, but she was unrelenting. “I’m sorry—really, I am—but she begged me not to let you in. Just give her a few days, Kale. She’s not herself right now.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to push my way back there so I could see her for myself, so I could hold her and tell her she was my everything. I did neither, but I wasn’t leaving. If her condition changed, or she decided she wanted to see me after all, I wanted to be right there for her.
“Is there a waiting room? I don’t want to leave her, and if you won’t let me back there, then I need somewhere to camp out.”
Kin’s expression changed, losing some of that guardedness. Respect filled her eyes and she offered me a smile. “There’s hope for you yet, Conway.”
TWENTY
Santana
Two days passed before I felt even remotely human again. Two freaking days before reality came back to bite me in the ass.
This food poisoning epidemic had been bad. Not just for me, but for everyone involved. So many had gotten ill from it, and sadly, one had died from the complications to their already weakened body. The groom’s great uncle had passed away the day before, and the entire hospital had felt the rage of the family.
The catering company who had worked the wedding would be filing for bankruptcy. Their reputation was completely ruined now, and I kind of felt bad for them. The type of poisoning we had all gotten wasn’t avoidable with food prep or storage, so it wasn’t like the cooks had been negligent. It was the fish itself, some kind of reef fish that had come into contact with the toxin.
Not that the bride’s parents cared. Their daughter’s wedding had been so beautiful, and they had spent a fortune on it. Now that beauty was forgotten. It was hard to see the good in anything when everyone they loved was still feeling the effects, not to mention mourning the loss of a family member.
My stomach was sore from all the cramps, not to mention empty from all the vomit fun I’d had. I felt so weak I barely had the energy to open my eyes. There was an IV in the back of my left hand with a bag of medication of some sort along with a bag of fluids attached to it. There were oxygen tubes in my nose, and under my hospital gown, I could feel the attachments from the heart monitor that was steadily beeping in the background.
The ICU staff had let Jenna, Angie, and Kin stay with me for over twenty-four hours before I was well enough to not freak out every time I thought I was going to be left alone. I was embarrassed by how I’d reacted now. At the time, though, I couldn’t handle being alone. I had been vulnerable, and it had felt like I was going to be abandoned all over again.
My friends had proven how much they cared about me. They had stayed beside me, not getting much rest themselves as they watched over me and took care of me. Kin had canceled all my shoots for the week, while Angie and Jenna had taken turns wiping a cool cloth over my face when the fever got to be too much. It had been nice being the one taken care of for once. Sage never would have done something like that for me.
With the return of reality, came the memory of what had happened before I had gotten so sick. Flashbacks of seeing Kale’s picture on the cover of that tabloid, of having it shoved down my throat that he was definitely having the time of his life without me. The pain of seeing two girls all over him, kissing and touching him as I once had was worse than the stomach cramps that had tortured me.
I vaguely remembered Kin telling me that Kale was there, of screaming and crying and begging her not to let him into the ICU ward. I hadn’t wanted him to see me soaked in sweat and smelling worse than death because I hadn’t been in control of my own bodily functions. Now that I was a little more clearheaded, I couldn’t understand why Kale would be back, anyway. Did he feel sorry for me? Was the guilt eating him up, and he wanted to make amends?
Fuck, I didn’t know, and honestly, I was too much of a chicken to find out.
I was doing better today than I had the day before, and a hell of a lot better than I was on Monday. The doctor had promised me I could be moved to a normal room out of ICU. And he had come through. Now I was in a private room on the sixth floor. The nurse had told me I was getting the royal treatment compared to the other sick wedding guests. I had a private room on a floor well away from everyone else, whereas the majority of the others were on another floor and were basically crammed into any room they could fit them.
I didn’t know why I was getting different treatment from everyone else, but I wasn’t going to complain about it. I wouldn’t have traded the peace and quiet I was getting to the chaos I could only imagine was taking place with all those other patients. I had been mostly sleeping, and I doubted I would have gotten much of that with the others around.
Jenna and Angie came in to check on me that morning, but the nurse kicked them out before lunch so she could help me shower. I didn’t want them to go, yet I was dying to feel clean again, so I didn’t argue. Now I was back in a freshly changed bed with the pajamas Jenna had brought from my room. I didn’t have to wear the oxygen tube, which h
ad been annoying and had made my nose sore, but I still had the IV in.
“Feel up to eating?” the nurse asked as she and the nursing assistant finished tidying up the room.
I had to stop myself from gagging at just the thought of food. It was going to be a while before I could handle food again, and I sure as hell was never touching a piece of fish or other seafood ever again.
“Please, no.”
They both gave me a sympathetic smile. “How about something to drink, then?”
“Sure, I guess.” I leaned back against my pillows, when my attention was caught by the huge bouquet of flowers that were sitting by the window.
They were a mixture of yellow, pink, blue, and purple roses. The colors brightened the room, and I actually smiled when I saw them.
“When did those get here?”
The nurse’s assistant crossed the room to the flowers and pulled off the card that I hadn’t noticed before. “Just a little bit ago,” she told me as she handed over the card. “And that boy who brought them …” She sighed and fanned herself. “My goodness, girl. You sure are lucky.”
In the process of opening the card, I stiffened at the mention of “that boy,” and hesitated. I was pretty sure I knew who the flowers were from now, and my pleasure in them dimmed as the hurt I’d been trying to ignore stabbed into my chest yet again.
I hated that he had so much power over my heart, that I had given him that power so easily.
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to finish opening the card. Turning it over, my next inhale was a little rough.
I saw these, and they made me think of you. Of how alive you make me feel when you smile at me. Of how free and full my heart is now that you’re in my life. Get well soon, doll. – Love, Kale.
Tears stung my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. Those words, written in his handwriting, touched something deep inside me. It didn’t have the power to erase the memory of that picture of him with those girls, though. Or the pain that still burned in my chest that he had cheated.