“Pull up a chair and I’ll show you.”
On her computer was a layout of the park. “We’ll make use of this area here, along the main path through the park. Set up various stations. We’ll figure out what we want at the stations, how many people we’ll need to man each, who should manage each.”
I pointed to the entrance to the park. “We should probably set up the adoption station there.”
“That’s what I was thinking. I’ll be there all day. I was hoping you’d take the morning shift when we’ll have more dogs on hand. You have a real talent for keeping them calm and showing them off.”
I felt myself blush. “Thanks. I love helping them find their forever homes. Of course I’ll work the morning shift.”
“Great. Where do you think we should put the gun show?”
A couple of days ago, I would have said that I wanted it across from us so I’d be near Jeremy, so I could watch him. “Farther up the trail, I think. So they don’t distract from the adoption.”
She grinned. “Yeah, the way Jade has been talking about it, I have a feeling she is definitely going to make sure they’re noticed.”
“Jade?” I echoed.
“She asked to be in charge of that station.”
Of course she did.
I commented halfheartedly as we discussed where to set up watering stations for the dogs, refreshment areas for the adults, face painting, a magician, and other entertainments for the kids. I loved this event, but I kept picturing Jeremy with Jade.
It was nearly two hours before Terri and I were finished. We had our layout, our volunteer needs mapped out. We created a sign-up sheet for the volunteers.
I went to pin it on the bulletin board in the small break room, crossing my fingers that Jade would not be there. Thankfully the place was empty except for Darla, who was sitting at a table, feet propped on a chair while she read.
She lowered the book, looked at me. “What’s that?”
“Sign-up sheet for Bark in the Park.”
“Awesome.” She got up, wandered over, took a pen from a nearby desk, and signed up for setup and a shift at the gun show. “So who do you think is going to win?”
Forty-eight hours ago, I would have said Jeremy. “Chase, of course.” Maybe Fletcher.
“You’re not a very loyal girlfriend.”
“I’m not a girlfriend anymore.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
I walked into the hallway and nearly rammed into Chase. I released a self-conscious laugh. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got no problem with a cute girl running into me.”
“I’m not feeling very cute today.”
“Did you and your boyfriend break up?”
Tears flooded my eyes. Stung. I hated feeling so weak. Roughly I swiped them away. “Yeah. But I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
Sniffing, I shook my head. “But I will be.”
“I’ve had some breakups. They’re a bitch. I’m here if you need me.”
I was touched, but I also knew that at that moment he wasn’t what I needed. “Thanks.”
“When you’re ready, maybe we can go out.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. “Maybe.”
When I got outside, no one was sitting under the tree any longer. I didn’t see Jade anywhere. Jeremy was on the roof, helping to put shingles in place. His blond head was bent; he was focused on the task.
Part of me wanted him to see me, part of me didn’t.
I turned on my heel, headed for my car, and pulled out my cell phone. I sent a text to Avery.
Got time for ice cream?
I Scream was one of our favorite hangouts. Avery and I had some of our most important discussions over an assortment of flavors, toppings, whipped cream, and cherries. I poked at my banana split while she dug into her sundae.
“I think Jeremy is with Jade,” I blurted.
She stilled, her eyes wide. Slowly she pulled the spoon from her mouth. “That’s crazy! You only just broke up yesterday. Why would you think that?”
“I saw him talking with her this morning.”
Her brow furrowed. “Where?”
“The shelter. I had to go in to help plan the fund-raiser. Neither of them knew I was going to be in. They were sitting together under a tree.”
“Did they see you?”
I shook my head. “No.”
She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Oh, Kendall, I’m so sorry. I know this has to hurt.”
I shook my head. “I can hardly breathe.”
“I can’t believe he’d be interested in her.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re my bestie. But Jade is fun, exciting, uninhibited. She doesn’t care about saltshakers.”
She released a small burst of laughter. “What does that mean?”
“I require order, lists, plans. At the beach? I straightened up the displays when we went to the souvenir shop. Jeremy understood my need for control. Jade is spontaneous. Without any planning, she pushed Jeremy into the pool. I’d check the labels on his clothes first to make sure the chlorine wouldn’t bleach them out.”
“You’re not that bad.”
“You’re tolerant because you love me.” Jeremy had as well and I’d blown it. “But I wanted us to change, to be different. He changed. I didn’t.”
“I really think you’re being too hard on yourself.”
Maybe, maybe not. I ate some whipped cream. It had no taste. Suddenly nothing had any taste. “I don’t know if I can keep volunteering at the shelter. It hurts so much to see him, and I want to lock Jade in one of the pens.”
“You can’t let them stop you from doing something you love.”
“You’re right. I know that. And I don’t want to give up on the Bark in the Park fund-raiser. This could be our best year.” I dug my spoon into my ice cream. “It’s funny. I think Jeremy actually stands a good chance of winning.”
She grinned. “No way. Fletcher has this hands down.”
I wished I could hate Jeremy. I wished I could root for Fletcher. But the truth was, I hoped Jeremy would win, because then maybe I wouldn’t feel so badly that it had cost us so much.
Chapter 28
JEREMY
“. . . forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty.” As I called out the final number, did the last crunch, I flopped back, breathing heavily. Beside me, Fletch did the same.
It was Thursday, and we were in his apartment getting in our daily reps. I was astonished to discover that when I looked in a mirror, I could see a definition to my abs that hadn’t been there before. I should have been pleased. Instead, I wasn’t sure I was going to go through with this gun show.
I wished I hadn’t quit my dad’s law firm. Wished I hadn’t started working construction. Wished I didn’t have to watch Kendall with Chase on the days she volunteered at the shelter. They laughed and talked while letting the dogs out.
Jade would visit with me on her breaks. She was nice enough. But she wasn’t Kendall.
“Don’t suppose Avery’s mentioned how Kendall’s doing,” I said when my breathing slowed. It had been only a few days, but it seemed an eternity since she and I had been together.
“It’s tough but she’s hanging in there.”
I knew Fletch wasn’t the type to ask how I was doing. I wouldn’t have answered anyway, because the truth was that I didn’t know. Mostly I was numb. I stared at the ceiling. “Jade asked me to go to some party with her Saturday. Probably going to do it.”
“You like her?”
“She’s fun.” I could use some fun. And she seemed to accept me as I was. She wasn’t making subtle suggestions that I should change things about myself. “It’ll be weird, though.”
“How so?”
Sitting up, I grabbed a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap, and gulped down a good portion of the contents before recapping it. “I’ve only ever dated Kendall.” I lo
oked over at him. “I’m actually a little nervous. You dated a bunch of girls. Any tips?”
He shoved himself up. “Didn’t really date before Avery. Just hung out with a lot of girls. How’d you start dating Kendall?”
I released a strangled laugh. “It just happened naturally. We were friends, palled around. One night we were going to a movie, Avery was sick, so it was just Kendall and me. During the movie, she laughed at something. I can’t even remember what it was now. I just remember looking over at her and knowing there was nothing I wanted to do more than kiss her at that moment. I’ve always loved her laugh. Now she shares it with Chase. I really want to beat that guy, but maybe I should just withdraw from the whole stupid thing.”
“Because you think you’ll lose?”
“No, because it’s important to Kendall. I know she’ll be at the event, taking care of things. I don’t want my being there to make it hard for her. On the other hand, if I bring in some money for the shelter that would make her happy.” I scrubbed my hands up and down my face. “I know it’s crazy. We’re not together, but I still want to make her happy.”
“What about Jade?”
“I like her.”
He got to his feet. “Avery would probably kill me if she knew I said this, but you should go out with Jade. That way you’ll know.”
I furrowed my brow. “Know what?”
“How you really feel about Kendall when you have options.”
“I always had options. I didn’t fall for Kendall because she was the only girl in town. That’s insulting to her.”
“Chill. I didn’t mean—”
A knock at the door had us both looking at each other guiltily. Our workout sessions were our secret.
Another knock. “Fletcher?”
It was Avery.
“Just a minute,” Fletch called out, then he arched a brow at me. “She’s going to get suspicious if I don’t let her in, and while I don’t think she’d jump to the conclusion that I have a girl in here, don’t take this wrong, but this little thing we’re doing isn’t worth upsetting her.”
“Let her in,” I said in resignation. It was going to be the first time I’d seen her since Kendall and I broke up Sunday. It was not going to be fun.
Fletch opened the door. Avery flung her arms around him, then quickly backed up. “Ew! You’re all sweaty.”
“Been working out. Come on in.”
She stepped inside and her gaze fell on me. I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “Hey, Avery.”
“You’re working out, too.” She said it as a fact not a question.
“Yeah.”
She angled her chin. “For Jade?”
“No! For the gun show.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I was being snarky.”
“I understand,” I told her. “You’re Kendall’s best friend.”
“But I’m also your friend.” She came nearer. “How are you doing?”
I shrugged. “Mostly confused, feeling a little lost, but hanging in there. How’s Kendall?”
“About the same as you.” She leaned her hips against the back of the couch, crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t believe you guys broke up.”
“Something happened. We weren’t happy.”
“Are you happy now?”
Not even the tiniest bit, but neither was I feeling pressure to meet someone else’s expectations.
“Anyone want a root beer?” Fletch asked into the uncomfortable silence that was stretching between us.
“No, thanks. I need to go.”
“I’m really sorry, Jeremy,” Avery said quietly.
“Yeah, me too.”
But at the same time, I knew Fletch was right. I hadn’t fallen for Kendall because she was the only option. I’d fallen for her because of who she was, how she was. But that didn’t mean that she was the only one I could ever love.
Chapter 29
KENDALL
Taking you someplace fun. Think steampunk.
I read once more the text I’d gotten from Chase an hour ago. After a few days of watching Jeremy and Jade taking their breaks together, I had agreed to go out with Chase.
But I wasn’t sure what his text meant. I knew what steampunk was, had read a couple of books that Jeremy had recommended. I knew he loved the genre. But I still couldn’t quite decipher why I was supposed to think about it. I’d tried calling Chase and gotten his voice mail.
Standing in my bedroom, I studied my reflection. I looked like someone about to have some fun. I was wearing a short red skirt, a lacy, white, layered top, and platform heels. Maybe we were going to a movie, although I didn’t know of one out right now with a steampunk theme. Slipping my phone into my skirt pocket, I headed downstairs.
Mom was sitting on the couch watching TV, Bogart’s head in her lap. I petted his head.
“This is weird,” I told her. “Going out with someone who isn’t Jeremy.”
She gave me a lopsided smile, like she wanted to be happy for me but was sad as well. “I know it’s hard, but it’s good that you’re not wallowing, that you have a chance to get out and have some fun. And Chase doesn’t have to be the one forever. It’s all right if he’s just the one for now, for tonight.”
“Is that what you think when you go on a date?” I asked. I was beginning to understand why my mom had waited so long to date after Dad died. It was like I was really saying good-bye to Jeremy, to what I’d had with him.
“I tell myself that it’s okay to have fun. Took me a while to get to a point where I didn’t feel guilty about wanting to live my life again. But my situation is a little different from yours. If there are no sparks on the date, that’s fine. I try to find the enjoyment in just going out and doing things with someone else. He doesn’t have to profess his undying love.”
“I like Chase,” I told her. “But I’m not totally crazy about him like I was with Jeremy.”
“You can’t compare them. But you might also be surprised. Sometimes the sparks start slow.”
How did I not do that—compare them? I wished I knew. Especially since comparing Jeremy to other guys was what had started all our problems. If I hadn’t become restless, bored with the summer, maybe I wouldn’t have lost him.
“You don’t compare these guys you’re dating to Dad?” I asked.
She slowly shook her head. “There will never be another guy like your dad. I have to consider these guys in light of who they are. I know what I need to be happy.”
I almost confessed about the ways I’d prodded Jeremy into changing. If I’d just left well enough alone . . .
“Think about all the different dogs you fall in love with at the shelter,” Mom continued. “None of them are the same, and yet you find things about each of them to love. Some you might have a stronger connection to—like Bogart. But you can still love a dog that isn’t like Bogart.”
I shifted uncomfortably trying to understand all the implications of what she was saying. I could love a man who wasn’t my dad. I could love another dog. I could love a guy who wasn’t Jeremy.
The doorbell rang, and my heart gave a little thud. “That’ll be Chase.”
Mom followed me to the foyer, Bogart trotting along behind us. I opened the door and froze.
It was Chase. Although it wasn’t. He was wearing a vest over a buttoned shirt, with some sort of cloth wrapped around his neck, and a dark brown coat that was more like a duster that cowboys wore. Goggles were perched around a top hat on his head.
With a wide grin, he gave me an appreciative once-over. “You look great.”
I released a little self-conscious laugh. “I’m not in costume.”
“I’ve got some stuff in the trunk you can borrow if you want, but it’s totally not necessary.” He crouched down and took Bogart’s face between his hands. “Hey, fella.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised. I’d seen him with other dogs, knew how much he liked them. He looked up and past me. Then stood. “Mrs. Jones, I pr
esume.”
I felt myself flush. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. Maybe because this was not only my first date since Jeremy and I broke up, but my first date with someone who my mom didn’t already know, someone who hadn’t hung around in my house before. “I’m sorry. Mom, this is Chase.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said as though she meant it, although she was probably wondering what her daughter was getting into. “Are you off to a costume ball?”
“In a way. It’s an annual get-together for those of us who appreciate steampunk. It’s a lot of fun, pretty different.”
My first thought was that I needed to call Jeremy and tell him about it. He would love this. He loved steampunk. Then I shoved that thought down because I could not think about him tonight. We were no longer together.
“Sounds interesting,” Mom said. She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I want to hear all about it when you get home.”
“Count on it.”
Then she was ushering Chase and me out the door. When we reached Chase’s car, I couldn’t help but notice that it had a sizeable backseat, although I couldn’t imagine myself back there taking advantage of it. He opened the trunk and produced a pair of goggles similar to his. “You can just drape these around your neck.”
Feeling silly, I did. “I’m not really dressed for this.”
“I didn’t figure you had a Victorian dress lying around,” he said, “but my mom is always attending fund-raising teas, so I borrowed one of her hats.”
It looked a little like a short, red top hat. It had netting surrounding it that ended in a bow on one side. I settled it on my head.
“Fantastic,” Chase said. “And really a lot of people won’t be dressed up, so you’ll be fine. Let’s go.”
He slammed the trunk shut and went around to his side of the car, slipped behind the wheel. I wandered to the passenger side as he started the car. He didn’t open the door for me, but a lot of guys didn’t do that anymore. Don’t compare. Don’t compare. I had a feeling that was going to be my mantra for the night.
Getting into the car, I bumped the hat on the roof and ended up taking it off and placing it on my lap.