CHAPTER 9
Melancholy Again
The next day with my Noelia was heaven. We were together from the afternoon until the night. (Both of us had slept until noon, because of the celebration the night before). It was a harmonious time, well spent with the one I loved. Nothing on earth could have made it better, except, of course, the actual marriage.
So as far as happiness goes, I was happier than I’d ever been. I got to my bed, that night, and slept like a lamb, still held by the warmth of her arms, even though she slept at her house and I was in my room. With love and with the peace that comes by it, there is no distance while it is right.
It is funny how things can turn suddenly and events can make what’s good fade into the background.
The next day I also spent with her. Early that morning we got together, fully rested from the lost sleep and spent the better part of the day together. We went on a walk along the Oceanside, wetting our feet in the tide, then we ate some mangos from an enormous tree that leaned over the edge of a small rocky cleft. She talked me into climbing the tree and when I saw how high we had gone it startled me half to death. I wrapped my arms and legs around a branch and would have held my grip forever had she not come to my rescue. But she gently persuaded me to let go with her easy touch and soft voice, like a big sister would her brother. She made me hold her hand and with our other hand we felt the strength of the branches. There was no risk of one of them breaking. I could open my eyes without fear. And it was all better when we ate the mangos.
It was fun, and I wasn’t afraid anymore; instead, a little embarrassed from being such a sissy-freak. But she didn’t jeer at me; didn’t even make mention of it, just passed it by with sweetness, because to her it wasn’t as silly as it was to me. I wanted to reclaim my manhood and make sure I beat her, on the way down, but it wasn’t easy. She wasn’t sure what I was trying to do: swinging so wildly and jumping from the last branch about ten feet. She didn’t realize it was a competition until I tried racing her, and then she passed me; splashing me with the ocean water, the whole way back to her house.
We spent a little while with her family and then we were hungry again. I guess fruit never really fills you once you’ve tried meat.
Higinia offered to cook, but instead we went alone to a little kitchen, not far from my room. They were serving crab, freshly caught that morning, and it was very good. I got more than my fill and she thought it was very funny that I ate like a pig. I had forgotten all about table manners and went out on a limb. It was the inner animal in me that had forced this behavior, when finally given the chance to eat without a fork. And since on the island people hardly ever used forks, it was an opportune excuse for this transformation to occur. When I finally realized what a pig I’d become, it was too late because I had crab crumbs all over.
Our nice meal was interrupted by a phone call. The owner of the little place brought the phone, on a long line, to our table. There were only five other couples, besides us, eating there, so it wasn’t really a large place. There were no sophisticated waiters, just a phone on the table and an “It’s for you, don.”
That was odd, I thought. How could anyone calling know where I was, especially since I wasn’t at that restaurant all day? It was the strangest of things. Of course, whoever was calling had to want to ruin my day, so I tried to shoo off the phone, waving my hands insistently at the owner, but he didn’t catch on for a long time. Finally, he got the idea and tried his round at a very bad lie, but whoever it was wasn’t stupid and again the owner passed the phone to me. “They insist, Mr. Finch.” So I took it.
“Hello.” A minute and a half passed by, as my face went from annoyed to serious to sad and then a combination of both sad and mad. It was my boss. He had finally got a hold of me after several tries. The fact was that the only three phones on the island, other than the airport phones, were owned: one by the butcher, the second by a very rich lady, and this one here, (and who knows why this little kitchen had one). My boss had already been trying the airport and the other phones for several days.
He finally got word from the butcher, who said he had seen me and that I lived with Blanca, but that she didn’t have a phone, so he promised that he would get word to me next time he saw Blanca. I hadn’t seen much of Blanca for a week, so if the message got to her at all, it would be some time before it got to me. Thus it was by mere coincidence (if there is such a thing, because I don’t believe in coincidences), that he tried the lines again and happened to find me at one of them. Of course it was bad news he had to administer.
No one had died, but I was late on a deadline for a yearly article that I was supposed to write. It was a very important story for the paper and one that I was assigned to every year. Since my vacation had gone over for as long as it did, I now had only days to finish the assignment. Mr. Freior was very angry and impatient over the phone, asking me how much longer it could possibly take to arrange my business and get back on the job. If we didn’t get this annual report printed, while the other papers did, it could cost our paper millions of dollars in dropped subscriptions.
To clarify the predicament properly, I have to explain that our paper had bought exclusive rights to cover a story, that we’d been doing every year, on trading agreements between a stock company from California and a New York firm. These negotiations were supposed to be the pivot point for increases or decreases in a number of stocks dealing with agricultural products from California; of which businessmen from around the world relied highly for their calculations.
Although those types of negotiations took place every year and around the same time, it was by mere luck that our newspaper had managed to deal a sole-coverage on the event. We were supposed to interview the president of the company, in California, in relation to the possible market value that the product was to have in the next few months. And that’s where I came in... I was the reporter who was supposed to interview and write the story; and I had known it since the exclusive. Now, my stay on the island was about to jeopardize the interview and if we didn’t print those results, many people were going to be very upset. It had been our campaign for the last four months, and we had spent millions of dollars advertising about our exclusive coverage of the story, with much success over our competition.
But further, if we didn’t print the damn thing, someone had to – and we would most likely lose all exclusive rights to it. It was very nerve racking, for I knew there was nothing to be done. I had to go back and I had to go right now! My angry boss asked me when I’d leave and I said “tomorrow,” to which he answered, “You have three days, or you’re fired!” Then in anger he must have pulled the phone from the wall because I heard a loud noise and then the line was dead.
My face became very long. Noelia asked me what was wrong, but it was useless for me to try to explain. Everything was amiss and where could I start? How could I explain corporate demand to her? She wouldn’t understand and most likely would get mad. But what could I do? I had to go, or I’d lose my job. She didn’t like it a bit, as I thought, but I couldn’t transfer my brain over to hers; she’d have to just trust and try to understand. I was too stressed to fight again; but she didn’t want to.
She was upset, and tried to make me give her a good explanation as to what could be so important that it called for me to go that very hour. I couldn’t give her one, so she kept harassing. It must have stressed her, as it did me. I think the only thing that calmed her was that she could see I also didn’t want to go. Because of that, she lessened the tension, even when I became more apprehensive to her. Without a doubt my stress was at its peak. It threw my mind into a tumult, on the extreme of foreboding, making me unsure of how to cope with all of it, as if a wrench had been thrown into my mind – straight into its gears.
There was no time to waste. She went with me, but her attempts to stop me were in vain. My mind was a dark tunnel. She cried some, because I was a little rude, but in spite of everything she stayed very sane and tried to brace my instability with her
strength. The first place to go was the hotel. Blanca had to know, and that didn’t help my situation at all, once we got there.
In all decency, I couldn’t just leave; but her reaction was so expectantly irritating that it sent me further down the dementia-drain so that I could no longer deal with it. I think I was even ruder to Blanca than I’d been to Noelia. When we left, Blanca sat crying as if I’d told her that her firstborn was dead. They were the loudest wails I’d ever heard. I didn’t even bother going through the formality of exchanging addresses and promising to write. I just left (an ungrateful slob). Noelia tried excusing me to her, but it was of no comfort. To Blanca, I had betrayed and abandoned; and Noelia didn’t think I should be so heartless, but I wasn’t in the mind for calmness.
The most unpleasant part was done and there was still plenty of time to extricate myself from the island and return to duty. I could send for Noelia after arriving in the States and then make all the arrangements in their proper order. The taxi-man lived down the street from Blanca, so we went there next and I hailed him to take me to the airport. He wasn’t happy about having to leave his asado (BBQ). We had caught him during the siesta, so we practically had to drag him out before he finally said he would take us. It was amazing to me that a man as he would not jump at the opportunity to get some cash from a North American. Of course we had infringed upon the sacred “siesta-time,” which was in essence an unwritten law on the island.
The siesta time started at about midday and ended sometime after four or five. The main idea was that everyone ought to take a break from work and have a large meal, then sleep for a few hours to digest it. I didn’t find the siesta to be productive nor of a cognitive nature, for why would one sleep during the day? Sleeping would only ruin one’s desire to work and would waste all available good time; for what could one possibly get done after five, and especially after a nap. It was an ideal that was completely contrary to capitalism. Imagine going to the bank at three o’clock and not being attended because everyone was at home sleeping. The notion was ridiculous!
We got to the airport and I told the taxi-man to wait for us. My nerves by then were to a limit. At least I remembered my chivalry and opened the door for Noelia. It was good that I did that one thing, for it was shameful the way I treated her.
Even though the concept of opening doors and throwing jackets over puddles wasn’t a part of Noelia’s culture, it was still nice for her and she noticed it, repaying me with a smile. But I was sure no bag of sugar. Romance was far from my busy brain. What was she doing there? I asked myself in exasperation. She’d only get sad, or even worse, irritated and provoked into losing her good nature. She was always the Peacemaker. I didn’t want her to experience my ill nature. This mess with my job would soon be over and things would be back the way they should, but now I was too deranged to treat her as a princess should be treated, so I told her that it would be better if she went to her house while I fixed my problem. But that’s what made it start and she became disagreeable.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to be with me. She misunderstood it. I wish I wouldn’t have said anything, but she was bound to get upset. How much wear and tear can the best of crutches take before they break? She was my support and my peacemaker, but even she would break under my spoiled spirit.
Noelia didn’t care to speak to me any more, as I made my way to the ticket counter. The lady behind the desk was dressed professionally and at first polite, but I would soon spoil that and make her day a little worse. The first thing I did was ignore her pleasantness and interrupt her in the middle of her first sentence. Whatever she tried to say was cut off by my demands. Things would be done my way and she was going to have to understand that from the start.
“Yes sir, I am sure we can manage something if you can give me your ticket and I can.”
“No, you don’t understand. I need a flight tomorrow to New York, non-stop, in first class, if you have any in first class, and here is my ticket.”
“Yes sir, but if you don’t have any reservation I’m not sure what we can.”
“Not what you can – what you have to! I have a first class, pre-paid ticket here. I had to cancel it, but the lady I talked to last said I could work whatever out whenever I wanted to leave. So you have to give me a ticket now.”
“I don’t think she told you that, sir. We have a very strict policy around this time of year, but I’m sure if you will show me your ticket we can work something out for you.”
“No! You don’t understand! The lady that was here before told me that I could book on whatever flight I wanted to, so you better get me on tomorrow’s flight because I have to get back to New York pronto.”
“I don’t know what she told you sir, but we can’t do anything about tomorrow if you don’t have a pre-paid ticket...”
“No! You will get me on that flight! She absolutely promised me.”
“Well, do you see the lady who helped you?”
“I don’t see her now, but”
“Do you remember her name?”
“No, of course I don’t! But.”
“Well then there’s nothing I can do for you. Whoever told you that you could reschedule whenever you wanted to must have made a mistake. But I don’t see any way we can help you in.”
“Oh you better help me lady... I don’t care what it’s gonna take! You better let me talk to your supervisor so we can get this mess straightened up right now!” By that point I was yelling so loud that she didn’t need to get her supervisor. I had attracted his attention already and he was trying hard to keep me calm. He took over the situation and signaled the attendant to go. She went without complaint.
“Sir, what is the trouble here?” said the man, “I’m sure I can be of assistance to you.”
I kept the obnoxious attitude. My eyes were bulging out, blood-shot like an alligator infuriated over its struggling prey. “Oh you better help buddy! My job demands I be there tomorrow on a very important interview for the worlds largest newspaper, and your rude attendant seems to think she should make things hard for me. Your measly second-rate airline better find the time and way to get me back!”
The man was trying to be calm, but I was good at offending. One could tell it in his eyes that he did not want to deal with another imbecile that day; but there I was, another fool, yelling and screaming at the top of my throat. Noelia became very embarrassed and tried tugging at my shirt, to get me to calm down. Instead, I turned around and was rude to her.
“What do you expect me to do with these pig-face people. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to back down like an idiot? Do you think I’m some stupid fool that needs to take this? What do you want?” I was talking in Guarani to her and pig-face was the only insult I had learned. Of course, the attendants also spoke Guarani, so I made myself louder so that they could hear. “They are pig-face, all of them, that do not know how to serve the public! I’m not going to stand around and let them walk all over me! What do you want me to do when I see they are lying to me? Do you want me to stand around like an idiot?”
With those words I turned my eyes to the man and spoke even louder. “He is lying to me, right to my face, and thinking I’m some kind of pig-face that’s going to believe him. I know that they can arrange it for me, but they think I’m STUPID” (I spoke this word in English, then went back to Guarani), “and he’s a l-i-a-r.”
Noelia couldn’t take it any more so she walked off and left me to make more of an idiot of myself, if I wanted to, but she wasn’t going to be there to see it. It made me really embarrassed and angry with her. These people were going to take me for a fool, now that she had walked away. How was I supposed to make out like the one who was right, if even my girlfriend wasn’t going to listen?
And I was in the right here! I went back to my attack on the manager, returning to English again. “Look, are you going to help me or not?” I put my papers and my ticket on the counter. He didn’t bother to look them thoroughly, just gave them a glance and w
alked away. He was through dealing with a pompous blockhead.
“I’m sorry,” he said, as he walked away, “I’m not going to be able to help you. You will have to take it up with the airline in writing, if you have any complaint, but I am very busy. You’ll excuse me.” I screamed out to him, but he didn’t return. Then the attendant lady came back.
“Was he able to help you out?” she asked cynically. By now my answer was given from the bottom of my lungs. It must have been a spectacle for everyone.
“No I was not helped! This airline is a joke! I will never fly with it again and you are taking a big chunk of business away from yourselves! I travel more than six times a year and work for a huge firm. Once I get back to the States, none of my firm will ever fly with you again! You are going to make your airline lose out on millions of dollars!”
“If you get back to the States,” she corrected. Her answer was so cynical that I don’t even think she knew what she was saying. It was more like a dark prophecy than a sarcastic comeback. It must have set her back a bit and made her try to be nice again. If it wasn’t that, I don’t know why she started trying again. Her boss had already taken me as a nut, but she decided to try some more.
“I am sure we don’t want to lose you as a customer, sir, but.”
“Well then you better do something about it now!”
She looked through my tickets a little better than the man did, but didn’t get the results I wanted to hear. Then I resulted to blackmail again. I find it funny that people that lose their temper, like myself, often tend to embellish what they’ll do as a result of being crossed. Sure, I could have gone back and held a banner over my head and picketed outside the airport. And maybe all that would have made some bad publicity for the airline. But who had the time to for such revenge? I sure didn’t and even if I did, I wouldn’t waste it outside an airport. I’d go golf or something. I didn’t even fly six times a year; but even if I did, that money wasn’t going to break the airline. And as far as my company was concerned, I didn’t even have say over what the mailroom did, let alone the company. And yet I found it necessary to lie, to try to put a fright in this girl.
“I’m sorry sir, but it was as I feared. We won’t be able to help you.”
“What do you mean, you won’t be able to help me!”
“Well you see sir, your ticket was canceled two weeks ago BY YOU, and you never made any arrangements for another ticket.”
“Yes, but she told me...”
“Whatever it was she told you, I can’t do anything about that now. I am trying to be more than nice to you sir, but you don’t seem to get it! There is nothing I can do.” The girl was really frustrated now. I really think she was trying to help, but she just couldn’t get around anything, especially my thick skull.
“What do you want me to do,” she said, “put you on the plane and kick someone else off? I can’t do that. You should have made your arrangements two weeks ago when...”
“I didn’t know when I was going back!” I yelled.
“Well then, I’m sorry, but it was your fault. Now you’ll have to make other arrangements, but that’s all I can tell you.” The poor thing was crying now, because of me; but it didn’t faze me.
“Other arrangements! What sort of other arrangements? What’s the soonest I can get off this bastard island?”
She paused for a second, not appreciating my language at all and then answered. “It will be at least two weeks.”
“Two weeks @ ## *** # @”
My language had slipped into the pit, so she didn’t feel like she had to take it any more. She left me to yell as loud as I wanted and walked away; now with a broken spirit towards humanity because of me. I tried to get her back, but by then no one wanted to help any more. The only thing left was to leave the place, so I did, with a few more cursings in regard to what I called “lousy service”. My language usually never became horrid, but this was a time when I was beginning to lose my composure. All my goodness was failing.
I walked back to Noelia, who was waiting outside, with a few complaints on my mind, for she was partly at fault.
“Why did you leave? Do you realize you made me look like a fool in front of everyone?” I tried keeping my voice down as best I could, but already I was faltering.
“Well, you were very rude to me,” she said, “and I told you I wasn’t going to be around when you made a scene.”
“Yes, but did you have to ridicule me in front of everyone? They must have thought I was a pig-face who didn’t even have the attention or support of his lady. You could have stayed, at least.”
“Well, I’m not going to fight about it any more,” she said, and then stopped arguing with me. It was a silly thing, but of course, I stayed grumpy for a long while after that. It was nice of her to stop the fight that could have escalated into something more. The fact of the matter was that I was totally incorrect and in the wrong, but she didn’t take too much offense. She just ignored me until it went away.
In the meantime, my anger towards her faded as the more real problem intoxicated my mind. I didn’t have a plan any more and didn’t know what to do, for there was certainly no longer a way to get back to the States on time. Three days, my boss had said. Ha! It might as well be three years. The boss had given me an ultimatum that I could not beat, and although I could have sat back and accepted my circumstances, instead I chose to let it break me into pieces.
As we walked away, the airport fell from sight and its civilization became background to the island’s true atmosphere. During all this I kept insisting about the States. I said that there we wouldn’t have had such problems, as we’d had here, but Noelia wanted to hear nothing of it.
“I don’t see why you can’t just stay here with me,” she said. “You can fix all your problems and then tell him you can’t come back.”
“I can’t do that, Noelia, can’t you see? My boss has already told me that if I don’t go back tomorrow he’ll fire me.”
“Well then there’s nothing you can do about it if you’re already fired. Didn’t you hear the lady that told you there is no way for you to go back until two weeks?”
“Yes, I did. But she didn’t know what she was talking about and... Oh what can I tell you? You don’t understand a thing.” I was only getting more and more frustrated as she tried to help. I wished I wouldn’t have talked to Noelia with such anger, because it wasn’t her fault at all. She was right, I wasn’t listening to reason. She was so dear... If only it could be done over again. If I could change any of it, my mean words would be the first to go; replaced by tender kinder words, spoken at every opportunity and even out of context. Instead, I had to be ferocious. Everything I said had to hurt.
“You don’t comprehend any of it,” I yelled, “How could you, living on this island all these years? To you, the world is flat and everything revolves around your island. There is more to life than sand and palm trees and drinking maté.”
She felt stupid against me, trying to say anything. “Yes but... Oh, forget it... I just wish you could stay.” I could tell I’d made her feel dumb and for a second my conscience found its way out. Making her feel unlearned was cruel. She wasn’t a primitive island girl, she was one of the smartest and most vivid girls I had ever met. In fact, there wasn’t anyone whom I looked up to more than she. She was the most rational and life-loving girl I’d ever known. I admired her even more than myself.
She backed off – she was too kind. Her hand beside me was undeserved, even though I longed for it like a dog. I’d found the best thing in life – love – and now I was a failure. What was I supposed to do? How was I going to take care of her? Who would give me a job so that I could support her? Who would pay for the bills? And surely there would be a baby! What could I do? I was a failure.
“My sweet Noelia, what can I do?” My depression and desperation alarmed her. She tried to help, but I didn’t let her. I had no job and would lose my apartment and my car. So what could I do? Despair had won, wit
h all its argument.
With that assessment, my mind cracked. I made her loosen her grip on my arm and walked off. For some reason or other she let me go. Maybe because she knew that I wasn’t going because of her. It was just that my emotional state was wavering and I probably needed some time to work things out on my own. (At least I hoped I could work things out). She wasn’t threatened by me, or by my leaving her in the middle of a field. She just let me go... She must have loved me more than I realized, to be so understanding.
Walking, walking, walking. Down through the streets that weren’t really streets, but sand, dirt and vegetation that made the pathways to be walked on. Everything was miserable, not a moment easing up. Could I be taking myself into an inescapable trap of self-pity, idling my mind to become catatonic; burying myself in a catacomb? There was no hope now, in this Garden of Eden. Somehow my life would be ruined with whatever decision I took.
Was it that I was stuck where destiny had taken over? Could there be such a thing as a limbo here on earth; because whatever I tried, I could not win! I had no say any longer, for it was as though someone was directing my decisions. Luck no longer played a role in any of my dealings; there was just the rhythm of some bass drum that set the beat of motion. Deeper “in the beyond” it struck the chords of my life – tuned through destiny but not through choice. “Choice” was a luxury that had left me long ago. Now I was left like a jester, to do as the higher hierarchy commanded. And to be made a fool of, knowingly, because I saw it all.
End Book 1
Next in series: Book 2 Dead Awake: Devil Six Feet Under
About The Author
Born from The Pit Hades has traveled to the ends of the world, and drunken in all cultures. From the height of Berlin to the dawning of mankind, one of his greatest boastings is his many titles.
After the dark ages Hades quickly realized that education was his primary focus. His first goal was to travel to the four corners of the world and spread his mission to the churches. Shortly thereafter, he gained his credibility by embracing science as the new religion.
Since then, Hades has continued to travel, focusing on the younger generation, targeting the cause of what is now being perceived as this country’s collapse. From traditional methods to alternative techniques fostering a women’s choice, Hade’s full endorsements across the media have facilitated his invention, ingenuity, and success. He has become revered through the intricacies of plunder, mayhem, and the secret combinations of men and women everywhere. Most of his loyal followers stand accountable to no one.
His previous works include: The Great Tower, The Fall of Man, Girl in the Train, Inferno, The Pit, Off Grid.
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