Page 19 of Illusions


  Laurel nodded.

  “And you let him.”

  Another nod.

  “And then . . .” Her mom let the question hang in the air.

  “And then we went to the cabin. And hung out,” she tacked on, feeling like a moron.

  “Hung out,” her mom said wryly. “Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?”

  Laurel rested her face against her palms. “It wasn’t . . . like that,” she muttered through her fingers.

  “Oh, really?”

  “Okay, fine. It was kind of like that,” Laurel said.

  “Laurel.” Her mom walked around the counter and put her arms around Laurel, leaning her cheek against the top of her head. “It’s all right. You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I’d be lying if I told you I was surprised.”

  “Am I really so predictable?”

  “Only to a mother,” her mom said, kissing the top of her head. “I have an idea. Why don’t you call Chelsea and tell her everything’s okay, and she can pass the word on to David. He’s called here twice already.”

  “Good idea.” Laurel smiled up at her mom, if a little weakly. In truth Chelsea wasn’t a lot easier to face than David, but after today she’d take what she could get.

  * * *

  “Homigosh,” Chelsea said breathlessly before Laurel even said hello. Thank you, caller ID. “You broke up with David!”

  Laurel winced. “Yeah, I guess I kind of did,” she admitted.

  “In front of the whole school!”

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen in front of the whole school.”

  “So you meant for it to happen?”

  Laurel sighed, glad she’d decided to call Chelsea from the privacy of her room instead of downstairs in front of her mom. “No, I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

  “So are you taking it back?”

  “No,” Laurel said, strangely sure of her answer, “I’m not taking it back.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes. At least . . . for now.”

  “So what does that mean? Are you with Tamani now?”

  After this afternoon? “I—I don’t know,” she admitted.

  “But maybe?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Whoa.”

  “I know.” Laurel toyed with a sugar-glass vial on her desk. She had no idea what to say. “I, um, I called to tell you I’m okay since I disappeared kinda fast today. And in case you were worried . . .” Her voice trailed off as she heard a soft tap and spun around to catch a hint of movement outside her bedroom window. Tamani raised his head and smiled. Laurel smiled back and almost let go of the phone. “Hey, Chelsea, I gotta go,” she said breathlessly. “Dinner.”

  “At eight o’clock?”

  “Yeah,” Laurel said, remembering the whole reason for calling in the first place. “Could you . . . would you mind calling him and telling him I’m safe?”

  “Him? Like, David?”

  “Yeah. Please?”

  She heard Chelsea sigh and mutter something about shooting the messenger. “You want me to tell him anything else?”

  “No. Just that I’m safe. I gotta go. Thanks, Chelsea, bye,” she said in a rush before hitting END and tossing the cordless onto her bed. She hurried over to the window seat and unlatched her window.

  “May I come in?” Tamani asked, his smile gentle, eyes warm.

  “Sure,” Laurel said, returning his smile. “But you’ll have to be quiet; my mom’s downstairs and my dad should be home any minute.”

  “I’m good at quiet,” Tamani said, stepping silently over the windowsill in bare feet.

  Laurel left the window open, enjoying the lingering scent of rain. She stared down at her carpet. Then Tamani reached over and curled his fingers around hers. He pulled her gently toward him and twined his arms around her waist. “I missed you,” he whispered in her ear.

  She pulled her head back and looked up at him. “I didn’t think I’d see you till tomorrow.”

  He reached up and covered her hand with his, then lifted it to his lips and slowly kissed each fingertip. “Did you really think I could stay away?”

  He let go of her hand and lifted her chin. He kissed her eyelids first, one then the other, and Laurel stood very still, her breath shallow, as he kissed each cheek, then her chin, then her nose. She wanted to grab him, to pull him in and reignite the sparks that had blazed between them this afternoon, but she forced herself to hold still as he lowered his lips to hers, the sweetness of his mouth enveloping hers. So slowly, so gently.

  She lifted her hands to the sides of his face when he started to pull away. She couldn’t bear for this sweet kiss to end. His arms tightened around her in response and Laurel pressed her body against him, wishing—for a moment—that she could be part of him.

  She turned when a knock sounded on her door. “Yeah?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound as breathless as she felt. The knob turned and before Laurel could say anything, the door opened.

  “Your dad’s home,” her mom said. “Come on down and face the music.”

  Laurel turned very slightly and looked out from the corner of her eye.

  No Tamani.

  She nodded and followed her mom out the door, hardly daring to look back.

  * * *

  “So what’s the damage?” Tamani was sprawled on Laurel’s bed, startling her as she closed her bedroom door.

  “Where were you?” Laurel asked in a whisper.

  “When in doubt, head under the bed,” Tamani said with a grin.

  “But there wasn’t time,” Laurel protested.

  “Time enough for me.”

  Laurel shook her head. “I thought we were busted.”

  “Are you busted?” Tamani asked. Laurel wondered if he’d ever said busted before in his life.

  “I’m grounded for a week,” she said, shrugging as she sat beside Tamani. It still felt strange, having him here. It was one thing to lose herself in a kiss, but having a mundane conversation with Tamani felt awkward. It wasn’t like talking to David, who was a fixture in her life—comfortably familiar, like a favorite pair of slippers. Could Tamani replace that, now that he lived close by? Now that she saw him every day?

  “Does that mean I should leave you alone this week, so you can feel the full weight of your punishment?” Tamani said, his face serious.

  Laurel’s eyes widened, but Tamani’s mouth twitched into a grin and she whacked his arm.

  He caught her hand and held it for a moment before tucking his fingers between hers and pulling her down against his chest. “Does that mean it’s okay if I come keep you company?” he asked quietly, before turning to look at her with his pale, intense eyes.

  Laurel hesitated. She’d been with David for almost two years, had loved him every day. And even though she’d broken up with him, just having Tamani here felt a little like cheating. She was tired of David’s jealousy, of his mood swings, but did that mean she wasn’t in love with him anymore? Besides, David wasn’t the only one she’d told off today. She had little doubt that Tamani had picked that fight, but here she was, rewarding his efforts. His virtues shined too brightly for her to focus on his flaws. Did that mean she was in love with Tamani?

  Was it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?

  “You going to sleep?” Tamani whispered.

  “Mmm?” Laurel replied, her eyes fluttering open.

  Tamani bent his head a little closer to her ear. “Can I stay?” he whispered.

  Laurel opened her eyes all the way now. “Here?”

  He nodded.

  “Like, all night?”

  His arms pushed a little farther around her. “Please? Just to sleep.”

  She tilted her head up, kissing him quickly to soften her answer. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s just weird.” She shrugged. “Plus, my parents would hate it.”

  “They don’t have to know,” Tamani said with a grin.

  “I
know,” Laurel said seriously, putting a hand on Tamani’s chest. “But I would know. I don’t like lying to them. Things have been way better since I started telling them the truth. Waaaay better.”

  “You didn’t tell them I was up here before, or that I’m planning on being around this week.”

  “No, but those are small things. This feels like a big thing.”

  “Okay,” Tamani responded, leaning forward to kiss her one more time. He smiled as their foreheads and the tips of their noses touched. “I don’t want to go, but I will if you say so.”

  Laurel smiled. “I say so,” she answered, yawning.

  The next morning, Laurel couldn’t remember how he’d left, or when. But he was gone, and a single wildflower lay beside her pillow.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  LAUREL SAT IN HER CAR, STALLING, FEAR BUILDING up in her stomach. It was almost worse than that first day of school, more than two years ago. Back then she had been paranoid about embarrassing herself in front of a bunch of complete strangers. Now she had to go in and face the fact that she had embarrassed herself in front of a bunch of people she knew.

  Among them, David.

  She didn’t think she’d ever been afraid to see David. Feelings warred within her—part of her missed him and didn’t want to admit it. Part of her was glad she’d broken up with him and shown him for once that she was serious. And yet another part of her wanted to run to him in tears and beg his forgiveness.

  She locked her car, wondering if she could just linger in the parking lot and be late. But after ditching yesterday, she couldn’t risk it. Her parents had agreed that, under the circumstances, Laurel’s punishment belonged at home, not in the school system, so her mom had called in and excused her absences. But Laurel knew she would be expected to follow all the rules at school for a while.

  With a sigh, Laurel forced herself to head for her locker.

  As she approached the double doors at the front of the school, one swung open, revealing David. Laurel stopped in her tracks and stared. He looked so sad. It wasn’t that he was frowning—in fact he had mustered a reasonably convincing smile. But his eyes were deep-blue pools of sorrow so intense, it took her breath away.

  “Hi, Laurel,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

  The part of her that wanted to run to him and throw herself into his arms got a boost from that.

  And then Tamani was there, holding the other door open. “Hi, Laurel,” he said, his smile brash, cocky.

  Laurel’s legs felt shaky. “Don’t do this.” A strangled plea.

  David turned on his heel and strode away without another word. But Tamani looked confused.

  “I just didn’t want him pestering—”

  Laurel grabbed the front of Tamani’s shirt and dragged him around the side of the building.

  “Hey, if you wanted to sneak off with me you only had to ask,” Tamani said with a laugh. But his smile melted away when he saw Laurel’s face. “What’s the matter?” he asked earnestly.

  “I’m not your girlfriend, Tam.”

  “Well, obviously I can’t kiss you in front of Yuki, but—”

  “No. I care about you. And I don’t regret what happened yesterday, but I don’t know what it means. I’m still trying to figure things out. Breaking up with David doesn’t make you my boyfriend by default.”

  Tamani hesitated, then asked, “So I’m back to waiting again?”

  “Kind of. Maybe. I don’t know! But no matter what, I’m not a weapon. I will not let you use me to get back at him.”

  “He did. All the time,” Tamani said hotly.

  “Yes,” Laurel agreed, “and then he got dumped. Is that what you want?”

  Tamani finally started to look cowed.

  “I don’t want a boyfriend right now, and if you want me to ever reconsider that, I expect you to behave.” She gave him the sternest glare she could and he looked away.

  “So are you and David really over?” Tamani finally asked.

  “I don’t know,” Laurel said. It was the only answer she could give. “For now, yes. I need some time. Some time to just be myself. By myself. And it’s for your sake too,” Laurel continued before Tamani could respond. “You don’t just stop loving someone in one day. It’s not that simple.”

  “The best things in life rarely are.” Tamani sighed shakily as the warning bell sounded, startling Laurel.

  “We should get to class. I really can’t be late.”

  Tamani nodded. His smile was tight, but he seemed to be okay. As okay as he was going to get, under the circumstances. Impulsively, Laurel threw her arms around him and pressed herself against his chest. He didn’t try to kiss her, and she didn’t offer, but it was enough just to feel his arms around her. To know that somehow, everything would work out.

  With one last squeeze Laurel turned back toward the front entrance and nearly dropped her backpack when she saw Shar approaching them through the parking lot, dressed in jeans and a loose T-shirt, his hair pulled into a simple ponytail that hung at the nape of his neck.

  “What’s he doing here?”

  “Oh,” Tamani said, as if only just remembering, “the vice principal wants to talk to me and my ‘uncle.’ About, um, yesterday.” Tamani shrugged.

  Laurel raised an eyebrow as Shar got closer, his steely eyes taking everything in. “Well, despite the fact that this is a sight I would love to see, I have to go.” And with that, she pivoted toward the front doors, breaking into a jog as she tried to beat the final bell.

  “Mr. Collins,” Vice Principal Roster said, opening a file and placing it on his desk before sitting in his squeaking chair.

  Hate him, thought Tamani.

  “Thank you for coming,” the vice principal said, looking up at Shar.

  As Tamani had expected, Shar refused to sit at all. He just stood with his arms folded across his chest, looking down at the human with an unmistakable air of superiority. Tamani rarely saw him look any other way and contemplated briefly how often Shar must have looked at his companion, Ariana, that way, and what she’d done to break him of the habit. He had to cough to cover the chuckle that escaped his throat.

  Shar’s eyes darted between Tamani and the principal. “Of course,” he said smoothly. “What seems to be the problem?”

  “Tam was in a fight yesterday,” the vice principal said, looking sternly at Tamani.

  Shar didn’t even blink. “My understanding is that Tam was assaulted and defended himself.”

  Mr. Roster stuttered. “Um, yes, well, but there was a great deal of pushing before that, provoking an outburst from—”

  “So because this other boy lacked self-control, my”—he hesitated—“nephew is to be punished?”

  “Both boys were fully involved in the exchange of blows, and both boys will be punished, per our policy,” Mr. Roster said, his voice firm now. “As this is Tam’s first offense, of course we hope this incident won’t be repeated—”

  “It won’t,” Shar said, raising an eyebrow at Tam. And indeed, Tamani had been taken to task about letting his temper get the better of him, particularly when it came to David, who with his knowledge of Avalon could make a lot of trouble for them if ever he felt so inclined. The tongue-lashing Tamani had gotten from his superior was far worse than anything this human administrator could hope to dole out.

  “I’m happy to hear that. Now, Mr. Collins, I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss something else. You may not realize that your nephew is failing almost every class he is currently enrolled in. His attendance is abysmal, and he is, in general, disruptive to the classroom environment.”

  Tamani knew that last part was a blatant lie. He was never a disruption. He never raised his hand to answer a question, either, but for the most part, he simply sat in his classes and listened for any sign that something had entered the school intent on harming Laurel. If you didn’t take his grades and occasional disappearances into account, he was a model pupil.

  “What does that m
ean?” Shar’s voice was flat and Vice Principal Roster was clearly unnerved.

  “Er, well, we typically suspend students for fighting, but with three F’s, one D, and one B, we thought some alternative discipline might be in order. To encourage . . . improvement.”

  Shar stared at Mr. Roster blankly for a moment and Tamani tried not to smirk. For all his training at the manor, Shar had never had reason to learn the intricacies of the human grading system. But he was unfazed.

  “What can be done?” Tamani noticed for the first time just how anachronistic Shar sounded, especially compared to the teenagers Tamani conversed with every day. It really was a good thing their English was accented—a good accent seemed to cover all kinds of quirks in grammar.

  “Well, if he wants to graduate with his classmates, he’s got to pull his grades up.” The vice principal folded his hands on top of the desk in front of him. “I thought perhaps some tutoring?”

  “Of course. If that’s what it takes.” He clapped Tamani on the shoulder in a move that Tamani knew looked friendly to the untrained eye—but he’d have a bruise there later. “We want Tam to graduate, naturally.” The vice principal would hear earnestness in those words, but only because Shar had grown weary of this meeting; a light warmth in Tamani’s chest told him Enticement was at work. Shar and Tamani had agreed there were too many anonymous witnesses to effectively erase the fight, so in order to maintain perfect cover, no memory potions would be administered and Tamani would accept whatever punishment the school assigned him—assuming it didn’t compromise his mission. But Shar had also allowed that, as long as Yuki wasn’t close enough to potentially sense it, Enticement could be used to ease the process.

  It would be Shar’s job rather than Tamani’s, though. Shar was extremely talented and could work his Enticement without physical contact—something Tamani had always been jealous of.

  “Naturally,” Vice Principal Roster said, smiling now. “Now, David Lawson—that’s the boy Tam was fighting—is one of our finest students. We’re giving both David and Tam three days in-school suspension and we thought perhaps David could spend those days tutoring your nephew. I think you’ll agree this is very lenient, and will hopefully give the boys an opportunity to work through their differences.”