Bethany runs into the water, waving her hands high in the air like a crazy person, but she's my crazy person, and I love it. I follow her into the deeper water letting the salty sea cover my body while the sun hits the top of my head. We both laugh as we begin to splash each other like a couple of little girls out for a swim. We end up tackling each other down into the water, the waves crashing over us. It is then that I notice a guy, a pretty hot one, looking over at us. I know he must be looking at Beth because she is like the ultimate beach babe with her blond hair and rockin body.
I tap my friend on the shoulder and point him out to her. "Hey maybe there's your alpha male over there," I tell her, pointing over to him. He has dark hair with a buzz cut, and he is coming over here. I see Beth go red, and despite the way she is with me and Anton, she is a pretty shy woman. This should be interesting.
I make an excuse and walk away so the two can talk. I go and sit on the beach towel that we brought with us and just soak up the sun and people-watch. My problems come back to me tenfold, and I can't help but think about the baby I am carrying. I can't help but wonder how complicated things are going to get from here on out.
After the two finally exchange numbers and we spend more time sunbathing and just joking around I feel completely depleted between the sun and all the activity we have already had today. But I'm not about to go home when I know she has more planned, particularly shopping. I know she mentioned the mall. I am not turning down a chance to go to the mall with my best friend.
“So, do you think he was the one?” I tease her on our way to the mall. It’s only fair with all the trouble she gave me after I met Anton. Really, though, I want to see her find someone eventually, maybe under better circumstances than myself.
“Well, he is the one for right now anyway. We made a date for tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind,” she tells me. I see the guilt there, but our last trip to Miami I spent with Anton, so why not?
“No, not at all. Maybe if you fall in love, I will get to see you more often,” I tell her with a laugh, and she pinches me in the side as payback. “Hey, you gave me such crap for Anton, the alpha male, I have to have a little fun with this.”
“Of course, but I am not you. My reaction will be different,” she says in faux anger. All I can do is laugh at her.
The mall is not that far from the beach, so the ride is short. When he pulls up to drop us off I let the goon driver know if he doesn't want to wait for us, that he should be back in 2 to 3 hours. Girls like us know how to go on a shopping spree, and we're probably going to visit every shop at least twice.
Turns out that I am right, and we spend at least twenty minutes in every shop, buying at least one thing. Within an hour we have to get a get an attendant to carry our bags around because we have way too many. But the thing about being a Kolosov and now being with Anton, money is no object. Enough to get others to do anything I want. But in a way, that kind of power is also scary.
Suddenly, I stop, finding myself looking right inside of a baby store. It’s one of those fancy baby boutiques. From the window, I can see that they have furniture, toys, everything that I could possibly need for this baby that I am growing in my stomach right now. Something else that I notice inside is all the mothers with their babies; they all look so normal. I bet they are all normal people. People that aren't like me.
As I watch them, these normal people just shopping for their babies or newborns, or for their loved ones, I start to wish that it could be that simple. That I can have it that easy. But the truth is that I know that this will never be simple. In my world nothing will ever be simple. Even more now that I'm with Anton, but after I had another run-in with Rusev, I knew that there is nothing uncomplicated about my life anymore.
Beth has walked a bit ahead and turns around to look at me, seeing that I'm staring into a store full of baby stuff. It doesn’t even quite register at the moment that she's going to realize the reason I am doing this. I am in trance.
"What are you doing Natasha? Hurry up and snap out of your staring fest at the store." Beth ends up taking at my arm, and that's what finally pulls me out of this trance, but it's too late as Beth looks at me back at the store and then back at me again. And I see it dawn in her eyes. "So why are you staring at the baby store?" she asks me suspiciously. "Oh my God, don’t tell me this is your secret, Tasha? I can't believe it!" Beth squeals, getting the attention of everyone around us. Picking up my arm, she tugs me straight into the store. She is practically dragging me down the aisles so that we can look at all this beautiful baby stuff even though I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet. Even though I haven't told Anton, the father of the child, that I'm pregnant yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy that my friend feels excited about this pregnancy I know that she will be here to support me throughout this and she's going to be an awesome Aunt to this child. Just knowing that warns me to the child that is growing in my stomach. I know I'm only a few weeks along, I know that I love this baby already. That is not the problem. I do not plan on getting rid of it or putting it up for adoption. But it doesn’t mean that I don't wish the circumstances were different.
As we go down the aisles and I see all the tiny little clothes, the bedding with cute little animals on them, and all the essentials like bottles and pacifiers, I can't help but worry about the surrounding variables of the situation. Those are what is throwing me off. I don't know how to raise a child in my world. This baby being not only the heir to the Kolosov line but now the heir to the Constantin and Balan Clans is not the ideal situation to be bringing a child into the world.
This baby will be in danger from the moment people know about it, and I don't like the idea of constant danger when I'm trying to build a family.
Chapter 19
Love isn’t complicated. People are. - Anonymous
Natasha
It's been two weeks since I found out I was pregnant. It is date night, and I'm supposed to be meeting Anton after he takes care of some business at one of his restaurants that he owns. I am in the car with a goon driving as usual. I am thinking this might be a good night to let Anton in on the fact that I am carrying his child. I am for sure nervous about it, and to outweigh that nervousness I decided to put on something super sexy. After all, I might as well wear what I want when I can get away with it. At 7 weeks pregnant I am feeling all the symptoms, and I know soon my stomach is going to start growing along with those. I won't be able to wear things like this anymore.
The car stops in front of the restaurant, and we have been to this one before. Actually, it is my favorite of all the restaurants I've seen that he owns so far. It keeps dim lighting and it is very romantic. There are small sections kind of set away from everyone else, but you can still see everyone from where you are. So, you don't feel like you're all on your own.
Candelabras sit in the middle of the tables, and the wait staff will burn them if you ask. And the food being exquisite doesn't hurt either. Though, I am partially afraid that I won't be able to keep it all down. My morning sickness has been bad. I had to call my doctor about it because I really didn't know what to think of it. It turns out the sicker you are the healthier they think the baby is going to be… fun.
I sashay into the restaurant; a goon is arm and arm with me leading me inside so that I can find Anton. I think it is more about protection or possessiveness than it is about me finding where Anton is sitting.
I spot him, and his eyes go up and down me immediately just as I suspected. My dress is a pale pink, and it ties up at the back around my neck, there's a long ribbon that extends from the right-hand side. The left side has a gap just below my breast leaving part of my stomach and back showing, and the skirt is very tight with a daring split at the right-hand side right where the ribbon drapes over it. It gives the illusion of being naked but covers all the essentials in a better way than that white dress he gave me ever did.
I smile as Anton takes over for the goon, coming around to pull my chair out for
me and then push it in. “I hope you don't mind but I've already ordered for you. We are going to be having a four-course meal. I know you'll enjoy it. I hope you're not mad. I wanted to do something special for you.”
I nod at Anton and smile. I know now that he means well when he does things like this. In fact, it makes me feel more secure about having a child with him under the circumstances. He will never let anything happen to him or her. He will protect the both of us, whatever it takes.
The waiter comes over to bring the food and check on us, and I immediately order water with lemon. I can't exactly drink the wine that's in front of me. That would hurt the baby.
"This is all very romantic. What's the occasion?" I ask him as I eyed the appetizer; shrimp cocktail, something I will not be eating. I just hope Anton doesn’t notice my sudden disdain of fish. Something about it just makes me want to hurl, I guess that is bound to happen though.
Anton smiles, that smile I love of his and also hate at the same time. Is that possible? "Well, we are engaged, aren't we?" I give him a look under my eyelashes.
"Technically there is no ring on my finger, " I say. But that's when he pulls one out of his pocket. It is a small ring box, actually, that lets me know exactly what it's for. I can't help but gasp when he opens it in front of me. The diamond is huge, and it is surrounded by tiny sapphires. They are the same color blue that he loves me to wear. “It's a gorgeous ring,” I let him know as I allow him to slip it on my finger. The finger that tells everyone I am engaged. Now I feel obligated to tell him about the baby tonight. I feel like everything is more official now.
I am about to tell him, when I spot someone coming in the door. My eyes narrow at the man who helped bring me into this world.
He left Miami. I didn't expect to see him again for a long time, if at all. Especially after the way he left things. And yet, here he is in a restaurant owned by Anton. This can’t be a coincidence.
I look down my nose at Anton suspiciously. I don’t know if he’s got anything to do with this or if he knew that the man was coming. It's hard to believe that Sergei Kolosov himself is in public for no reason.
Anton follows my gaze to look behind us. That's when he sees him. I realize, observing the look on Anton's face that he did not know Sergei was coming. So, I guess I can't be so angry at him about the fact that my father suddenly showed up when we're supposed to be on the date when the ring is finally on my finger. It reeks of something businesslike, or of something sinister.
He saunters over to us as if it's nothing, and he looks at us with big eyes like he had no idea we would be here. I know better than that, and I cross my arms over my chest. I'm not having his bullshit today. I'm going to make sure he knows it.
The waiter comes over and asks us if we want Sergei to sit with us. He tells the waiter to get him a chair that he's definitely sitting with us tonight that we would be pleased see him. I roll my eyes, and Anton looks weary.
"What are you doing here, Daddy?" I ask with sarcasm dripping off the last word. He's not my daddy, he is not my father, he is not anything but a sperm donor at this point to me.
"Can’t a father just come visit his daughter and her fiancé?" he asks innocently as he is brought some wine and a menu. Our entrees are out now, but I have lost my appetite. I am not buying this act for a second.
"Mr. Kolosov," Anton greets my father with a bow of his head. Anton has to show him respect regardless of how he feels about him personally. They have a deal, a deal that involves me. It almost makes me want to be mad at Anton again, but I look down at the ring on my finger and remember why we are here. We do have actual feelings for each other, and I am carrying his child. Hating him is not worth it. I can direct all my anger at my father just fine.
“Anton, so lovely to see you. I see you finally put a ring on my daughter's finger. It looks like the deal is being held up well. If you need any help for wedding planning, please let me know. I will only accept the best for my daughter.”
“As I only accept the best for my clients,” Anton reminds him. “In fact, I am wondering if that is what you were here to do; to personally foresee the first shipment.” My father is clearly insulted; however, they have a business deal, and he is not going to say anything unless the business deal is broken. I'm not breaking the deal, at least, not my father's end. So, there's no reason for Anton to be in trouble for this. I'm just trying not to laugh. I did not expect Anton to finally stand up for me.
My father clears his throat to say something just as the waiter comes back up to take his order. He orders something small and sweet. He's clearly not going to stay here very long, just long enough to stir up some shit. It sounds like my father to me. Once the waiter is gone, he looks over us with judgmental eyes, a half smile on his face. I know he's up to something. I just wish I knew what, so I could stop it before it blew up.
“Well I will admit I do have a specific reason for being here. You see, I am here to give a congratulation to my daughter Natasha as well as her fiancé on their pregnancy.” I instantly glare at my father. I hope he sees the nasty look and gets the point. He needs to shut up, and he needs to shut up now. I planned on telling Anton tonight. I have not had a chance yet because my father came and rained on our parade here. This is not a good way for Anton to find out that I'm having his child. From my father of all people. Who, by the way, I did not even tell.
“It looks like the two of you don't waste any time. But that's probably best considering I will need an heir eventually, and Clan Constantin is in need of one now. So, how long until you find out whether it's going to be a boy or a girl?” Sergei asks, knowing very well that I probably haven't told Anton yet. He is doing this on purpose. Fuck.
Anton looks at me as if trying to get a silent answer from me. He is questioning in his head what the hell is going on. Then he looks to Sergei and asks him instead what he is talking about. My father reaches out and grabs one of the rolls left over from our appetizer on the table.
“She didn't tell you?” He mumbles the question through his chewing, and I don’t know whether to be disgusted most morally or physically. My stomach rolls as I watch him openly chew. Then, he continues. “She found out 2 weeks ago.”
Holy shit, I wish I could have alcohol right now. I need it in order to deal with this.
Anton growls at me, he is angry. Technically, he has a reason to be angry, well, he would have a reason if I had actually told my father and then purposely kept this from him. I was only trying to sort this all out in my head. I can't tell what my father is getting out of this, if he is just doing this for shits and giggles, and he's actually trying to get the deal to be broken.
“Why would you tell your father if you haven't told me?” Anton asks angrily. I can see his face turning those shades of red and purple that it does when he is furious. But he is aiming it at the wrong person.
“I didn't tell my father anything,” I snap back at him. I want to make it clear who is at fault here. “He clearly dug for information and found out himself.”
I start to push around my food. I don't think I could eat dessert. Sergei's dish comes out, and he starts eating, slurping up ice cream from on top of a chocolate brownie. Honestly, this is the most awkward meal I think I've ever had, especially on a date. Anton won't say a word, so I can't tell if he believes me or if he's mad at us both. Sergei has this permanent smile on his face as if he is watching a soap opera from the comforts of his own couch. Have I mentioned that I'm starting to hate this man? Fathers don't act this way.
“So, maybe this is not the right time to ask, but I am wondering since we found out that you are pregnant if the wedding is still going to happen in a few weeks.”
My instant answer is a no. To get married while I might have a pregnant belly is not what I see as the perfect day. And I don’t want to throw up on the groom. But at the same time, Anton’s voice rings loud and clear.
"Yes," Anton answers. With the way he is, I know that this has to be the answer for both of us, to tal
k about it later. No, I just want to get out of here.
Chapter 20
You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart. - Franz Kafka
Anton
I know I really should be pissed at Natasha. In fact, for a moment there, I was pissed at Natasha. I was thinking that she had told her father, someone I knew she was not that close to, that she was pregnant and had not told me, the father of the child. Now I realize that her father has used his connections to get this information and was possibly trying to ruin this for us. It doesn't surprise me. I'm not going to call the man directly out on it either. I want to keep this deal going too badly. However, I cannot blame Tasha for something her father is doing behind her back.
What I can do is blame her for the fact that she held the information back for 2 weeks.
I tried to see her side of things. It’s not exactly like she was planning on getting pregnant. I'm not a woman, so I do not understand the consequences or the thoughts that go through your mind when you find out something of this nature. So, how can I expect to judge?
Fuck it.
To be honest, I can't really be pissed. Hey, I can't be pissed because of what having a baby means. I have known for a while now that I want Natasha forever. Because of her last name, the Clan she is heir to, and she is incredibly hot, smart, and amazing in everything she does.
I want her. I want her to be mine every day of the week for the rest of my life. Even though I have a ring on her finger, it doesn't mean so much. For all I know she could be playing along. I could easily do something that pisses her off yet again. She could change her mind.
But a baby, that's different.
If she is carrying my child she's going to think twice about leaving me. That means forever. A family means forever. And I don't think Natasha Kolosov and I feel differently about it especially with what she's been through with her father. She wants the baby to have a father, and I am its father.